10 years after
by Lohikaarmesydan
Summary: After the war Four started as an assistant for Johanna Reyes. Now it's her time to to step back. Who else than Caleb will be Four's opponet on Choosing Days election. Together they struggle against common enemy, but it has knowledge of them that can destroy their carreers and families - or create new ones...
1. Four's pov 1

**At first one little thing:** _I'm not native in English, so I make mistakes. Please try to understand and correct me if needed! This is first time I try to write fanfiction in English, I have written over hundred pages in Finnish but I bet here are really few that can read those. And little disclaimer in Finnish: jos osaat lukea tämän on sinun aivan pakko kommentoida_

\- Tobias pov -

Six years ago I moved to Providence, to work with Johanna. It was kind of relief at first to live away from Chicago, this was a new place, new life. My mother lived still at Chicago, in the house I got after war, small house near river. She has some new man in her life, she was happy. All my friend that had survived from war were happy, living at Chicago, getting on in their lives. I was only one that had started new life away from the place that has caused so much pain. But old memories had followed

Last night was one of those nights that I couldn't sleep. Haunted by memories of lost love, lost friends was agonizing. Few hours that I slept early in the morning was filled with images, memories of Tris. It has been almost ten years after her death and I still miss her. It's always same dream; I wake up shouting her name aloud, trying to catch her, but she always runs away, never turning back, never even looking back. I knew I couldn't sleep more so I got up and went to shower. From bathroom mirror looked a tired, old man back. I was horrified but I had to admit that I looked more and more of my dad these days. This was again a morning that I regret that I hadn't taken that memory serum, that I had Christina talked me into not to take that, it would have been a easy relief, easy way out. I wished that I could forget this pain and grief, I didn't want to forget Tris. I was not hungry so I headed outside. City was quiet, only few people up this early. It was too early to go to work so I sit down on marble steps and look around park, our city center, heart of the city. Because of early hours there are just few joggers here. One girl runs fast, I could see by her movement that she trains a lot.

I'm lost in my toughs, just looking, imagining, remembering, wondering. Asking those old "if only" questions. If only Tris haven't died, if only Caleb had been the one that got shot, if only... Girl keeps steady pace, lap after lap after lap. She doesn't get tired and I remember those days in dauntless, morning runs with initiatives, making them do extra laps. It has been a while since I have run and it shows in my body also. Getting old and fat, I think and look that young girl again. I wonder how old she is, I guess something about 20, 22 years max. All the world open for her, she can be anything she wishes. We had to choose one thing we are, they have all given for them.

Something of her was still ringing bells in my mind, she made me remember the old days. She reminded someone, looks, runs like someone that I have known. But who? Tris? Then I looked away and sighted, no, she wasn't anything like Tris. I look up to the sky, seeing another sunrise after her death, another day beginning.

My mum always said that I should let her memory go, get over her death. I should go out and find someone to love, have children. Soon I will turn 30. No wife, no kids, no Tris. Mum doesn't understand that I had found The One and Only to love but it didn't last and I was not going to love and loose again. I don't want that kind of emotional mess again, not after all these years. Life after Tris had been really tough, I had tried to drown my sorrows in whiskey too many times but the sorrows had floated. Too many nights at bar, drinking, too many days in hangover. And yes, I had met girls but I had never let myself to fall in love again. Never will!

I looked at the girl again, she was running faster, her jet black ponytail swinging. "Last lap, speed up!" someone shouted and she obeyed. I rose up, it was time to go to work, new day waited and Johanna would be there soon. She understood what I haven gone through. I swiped dust away from pants and headed towards the office, on other corner of the park. When getting to running tracks I had to wait for the girl pass me. I could see her smile, her perfect full pink lips, white teeth, light blue-grey eyes. She was young, as I had guessed. And pretty, pretty little thing. I was smiling to her for a brief moment, then remembered. She wasn't Tris.

Near the entry to the office was a young guy standing, looking his watch. Girl came running and when she reached boy he stopped the watch. "Nice round that last one, keep speed like that and you will win the race!" He said. I saw that girl looked straight to me and quickened my steps. From the corner of my eye I saw them kissing. I jealous, why it's so easy to everyone other but it wasn't for me?

"Oh, you are early today!" Johanna says when I enter our office. She is reading some newspaper, drinking coffee. "Last weeks at the office, had to bee early to get everything done" I reply. Soon we will head back to Chicago and I will start my election campaign, election will be held next year and Johanna is going to announce that she is going to retire after this season and I will be next candidate from Chicago to get to the government. Johanna has done great job and she will be supporting me, she has promised so. She wants to see me in her place and so do I.

I get a cup of coffee, it doesn't taste good but it keeps me awake. We read newspapers silent and then I realize Johanna is watching me. "Did you remember you will meet your personal trainer today?". I look up and know that answer is in my face, I don't need to say I have forgotten. "Yes you said..." I reply and she continues "but you forgot." She nods and someone enters to room. I turn and see Amar, after a really long time. "Amar, my man!" I greet him and he is smiling, but looking me from head to toe at same time. Without saying I know what he sees. An old,tired, fat shadow of once famous Four.

Amar sighs. "Lucky for you Four we have almost a year to do this, but still it's not going to be easy." I smile a bit "I know, no more fun". Amar raises his eyebrows "fun? Are you really having fun?" I have to shake my head. "Not really, just eating lots of carbs, drinking too much, running and training too little. I'm not Four anymore, I'm Tobias." "For me you are always Four even you are now a man, not a boy anymore" Amar replies. I think that is nicest thing that anyone has said to me in years! But Amar has always been nice to me, after he found out that I'm also a divergent.

We chat a long time, he shows pictures of his family, he has a nice house with George and they have had twins few years earlier through a surrogacy. For a little time I envy him. He has everything, I have only a hole in my heart, a hole that David shot when he shot Tris. Amar is polite, he doesn't ask if I have someone, he figures it out that I'm alone. When we go to lunch I look around at park, hoping to see that girl again but no, she is not here anymore. I'm wondering who she is and same time I wonder where this sudden interest comes from. I guess it's the springtime that gets my old hormones race again. I didn't know that I had hormones anymore...

Next morning I meet Amar at park, I have to run endless amount of laps, till I can't run anymore. First I was looking if that girl from last morning is there also but soon I'm happy that she wasn't. I get to breath and relax few minutes and then I have to run again. My legs are burning but first time in years I feel kind of happiness, at least something other than pain and grief. Amar makes me do some exercises, push ups, sit ups and stuff like that and they are hard to do, they were never this hard when I was a initiative at dauntless. I'm sweating like a pig... "Are you trying to kill me Amar?" I manage to ask between breaths and he chuckles "Christina heard that I'm coming to train you and asked me to be hard. Well she said, from word to word, be harder than you were for them when they were initiatives." It's sudden bang of pain again to my heart. Christina were initiative with Tris. Amar sees my face and offers his hand to help me up. "It's time to head to the shower, you stink Four!" he says and I can't argue with that. When I'm up I see that girl again, she is tying sneakers, wearing a little tank top and micro shorts. I see that Amar is also looking up girl and like myself he is happy with what he sees. "Hi Alexa, how are you?" he says to girl and girl raises her head up, looks to us and smiles. "Amar! So nice to see you! What are you doing here in Providence?". Amar looks to me and chuckles "I'm training my OLD friend, he was getting old and fat...". I would so much like to punch Amars face now and when I see how Alexa looks me and agrees that I'm just a fat, old man I get so angry! Truth hurts? Luckily I remember my manners and greet Alexa "hi, I'm Tobias" and Amar explains "Alexa was one of my best students at high school, I was their coach. But what are you doing here in Providence?". I left them and head for the showers, but overhear when she explains "I'm training for the triathlon at Market Day next month you know.". Something in Alexas voice is familiar and now knowing that she comes also from Chicago area is making me wonder who she really is. How I have a feeling that I know her?

Days and weeks fly by, we went to Chicago, announce me to be next candidate and got back to Providence. Amar made a hard training program to me, to get me fit again, to get "the one and real Four" back to business. I'm surprised how much I liked the training, running and lifting weights, punching bags. We have a pretty good gym at same building than our office is and I use it a lot, a hour or hour and half in morning, depending how much and good I have slept, a hour or two after work. I quit drinking alcohol and notice soon that I sleep better, dreamless nights. After six months I'm at my target weight, I have new suits and I have never looked better I think. After a really long talk Johanna gets me to face treatment, it's not very manly thing you know and I let Johanna know that also but it does miracles to me. After a haircut I look to mirror and see Four, first time after many years. Well, little older and colder I think, but it's finally me.

"Now my work is done" Amar says when he looks to me. " Keep up training, don't loose this what you have done or I will come and kill you" he reminds with a smirk. "If I ever loose this, let this go again then please do so" I reply chuckling and Amar heads back home, to his family. We have four months work until it's election day, day that once was the Choosing Day. I go and get my campaign photos taken, most of them of me wearing a suit but some are me with tight black t-shirt and jeans. When I see campaign adds they really portrait me as Four, not as Tobias Eaton. I look up from adds and ask Johanna "do you know who will be my opponent?". She nods "Yes I do and so do you, Caleb Prior is city councils candidate for government this year."


	2. Caleb's pov 1

\- Caleb's pov -

It's ten years after Purity War that changed so much. I think faction system worked and it would still work, at least partly but now people of Chicago are so used in freedom of choosing themselves and new people coming in, people that haven't lived in faction system controlled city. I have been in city council now four years, running our city, making it a better place for all of us. I used to work in lab, creating new things and it was fun, being a member in city council is not fun but somehow I see it as o duty to do, my father was in city council before the Purity War. When they asked me to run for a job in government I was honored and felt that I have done pretty good job here in Chicago. Sometimes old background of Abnegation is almost too strong, I give much more than I should. I wish I could be much more of Erudite, like my father had been and no so much of Abnegation like I was raised

After the Purity War I worked long days in laboratory with Cara and other research team. Somehow we ended up chatting and became really close friends. I proposed her after 3 years and luckily she said yes. She is now staying at home but saying that when our kids are old enough she will be back in laboratories, working for better environment. Cara makes my life easy, she takes care of our home, makes good food, takes my suits to laundry. She keeps telling me that they need me also at home when my days get longer and longer at work. I try to be better dad but it's just a while, then I'm back working 10 to 12 hours per day. She doesn't understand why I couldn't work in laboratory anymore but I realized that if I really want some change the best way to do that lies in politics. Now laboratories have all refund they need, enough workforce. I can do much more to my society when I do it through city council.

It has been 4 months that Johanna came to Chicago and announced that she will retire after this season. Well that was expected, she had our representative in the Government 10 years. That is a really long time! She stand at Mercenary Square and spoke to people of Chicago. I was there, standing back, and then I saw a man that I thought first to be Marcus Eaton but it turned out to be Four. He had got old, sad man. First time after years I pitied him! I had Cara and our kids, he had nothing, just scars in his heart. On same event Johanna told that Tobias Eaton will be her candidate for election and it really wasn't a surprise. Four had worked many years as her assistant. In our elections it's always a member of city council vs a member of government or someone the council or government member had named. They called him Tobias Eaton but for me he was Four.

Four had moved away from Chicago years ago and it was kind of relief for me. Always when I saw him I remembered Beatrice and our parents. Last time I talked with him was last year and he had changed so much. Back in days of the Purity War I was scared of him, he was a soldier and I never understood what Beatrice saw in him. Beatrice that I knew was quiet, polite, nice, caring but he changed everything. After joining the Dauntless she became something else, a girl that I didn't know. After choosing the Dauntless she wasn't my sister anymore and that was the moment when I knew that "faction before blood" was true. Seeing her holding a gun, shooting, hurting and killing – well, she wasn't Beatrice. When she was killed I didn't know should I blame myself or Four. Why did I let her go? Why did I let her sacrifice herself? Then I blamed Four, why he hadn't done anything to prevent that, why he hadn't teach Beatrice better? Last I blamed Beatrice, but then I understood that it was the selflessness part of her, she set us all free by sacrificing herself. At her death she showed to us what her true self was, she was born to Abnegation, not to Dauntless. I think that was one thing that made it so hard for Four to understand; even when you are a Divergent the born faction is strongest.

After her death Bureau members came to see me and they took multiple tests from me and compared results to Beatrice's results. They had her DNA as well as mine, our parents and many many more. They still continued the research to get genetically pure humans. I got to know that I was also a Divergent, only 56% when Beatrice had been 100%, like our mother had been. It didn't matter anymore, there were no factions, no Divergents anymore, they exist only in our memories of past.

Monday mornings are always best days of week I think. Today is a day we start campaign for election on Choosing Day. City Council was unanimous in last vote that I will be candidate to election and hopefully in Government at next season. I was smiling all my way to work. Cara didn't like so much of idea us moving to Providence but I was sure we could work that out somehow. Thankfully our kids were still young, Allen was 3 and Beata just turned 5 months. They wouldn't mind moving, they had Cara with them.

Today I will meet my new intern also, she has studied politics and civil law and she will assist me during the campaign. We don't have a big budget but I think that we don't need one. Most of people know me already and I have lived my hole life here – that is one reason why I think it's time to move on. I walk to office, talk to people on my way to work. Everyone wishes all the best for me and I feel loved, I shake hands, smile, laugh. This is where I belong, these are my people. Then I saw her standing next my office door, smiling. "You must be Erica Matthews" I say and shake her hand. She nods "Yes I am, but please call me Alexa, so I will reply. No one calls me Erica!". I look her and I can say that she is pretty like all young girls are, jet black hair in tight bun, few curls escaping to curl behind her ear, athletic figure in pretty suit. "Lets start our work, I think we have a lot to do." I say and open office door for her.

Working with Alexa is really easy, she has good ideas and opinions and she is really talented, smart girl. Very soon we have a routine and everything works like well oiled machine. She is really a wizard making my campaign big. I go to hospitals, meet people and help all that need help; blankets, clothing, food. She asks donations from every source you could imagine and she has unlimited amount of contacts. When I see her she is always smiling and polite, when I talk to her I'm taken how smart she is. She is a true Erudite!

Late on Thursday evening we are getting back to office after a city council meeting, my collegue is driving his car and offers to take us also back. I don't own a car, it is luxury that I don't need, but I never say no if someone offers a ride in one. Alexa and I sit on the backseat, silent, looking around city at evening when her phone rings. She looks her phone, blushes and looks to me. "Sorry, I really have to answer to this". I nod. "Hi sweetie, whats up?... no honey, its getting late you know... yes honey, I'm coming soon home, the meeting was longer... yes sweetie, tomorrow we can do that, at evening, I don't have any meetings then... Love you too honey! Bye!". I smile to myself. Alexa haven't told a lot about herself and all I know that she is 24 years old and loves to run and swim. Now I got little more information, she must have a boyfriend that she loves a lot. "Sorry about that, I have asked not to be bothered with personal issues when I'm at work" she said and I looked to her "no worries, no harm done, I just get you to home and you are free tonight. Was that your boyfriend or?" I reply and she blushes and looks away. "it was the love of my life" she replies and some in her answer is weird. Not a reaction I was waiting and I sense that she is lying. But why?


	3. Four's pov 2

**Thank you for your comments! And some replies: no, I don't think that Four is going to fall in love with Alexa and Alexa is truly a Matthews, explained later on...**

oOoOoOo

\- Tobias pov -

Four months until election and we hit the high gear. Everything running smoothly, new ads coming up and on Friday evening I'm traveling to Chicago. Now it's Monday and I have a lot to do here in our office. More and more it's mine now, not Johanna's anymore and mostly Johanna is packing up her stuff. At same time she is teaching me everything she knows. After election, no matter who will win, she will move back to Chicago. I haven't made any plans, if I win I stay here but if I loose? I think it will be a tight fight to Government and I hope the won't be any personal issues. One thing is sure, if Caleb wins I cannot be his assistant.

I'm reading my mail when Johanna comes in to my office. I look up and she looks very pale, like she could faint anytime. I jump up, get her seated down and ask "What now? Bad news?". She looks me shocked and then hands me a letter and a photograph. "These were in my mail" she says, shocked. I look picture, it's black and white, grainy. There is a young girl, heavily pregnant young girl, standing in front of large window. Girl has turned her head, looking to distance so I cannot see her face. She is holding her hand over her large belly. It could be any girl. I look to Johanna and she nods towards the letter I'm holding on other hand.

"Hi Johanna! You asked if we get any news that can harm your campaign. We are really sorry to tell that we have got information about Tobias Eaton. We bet that you didn't know that he is hiding a really big secret. He had a illegitimate child with a really young girl, yet to be unnamed, 5 years ago. Gender of child yet to be unknown. He hasn't taken any actions to support mother nor child. All data of case can be found from Bureaus archives but it's encrypted and source of this information cannot open that file."

I look to Johanna, shocked like she is. I have to sit down and think, shivers go up and down my spine. I read text again and again and again and still I don't understand what it says. Who? How? What?! But I haven't... I would know if I had... Or would I? With who? Had I? No way possible! "Tobias, what have you done?" she asks with husky voice. I shook my head "I don't know, I really don't know. I haven't... you know... well... after Trish there have been some women but no... no one has told that she had got pregnant nor have been young or really young. And I have been taking care of... you know..." I blush. I look at picture like wanting her to turn, waiting to see her face. I try to remember but my memory is blank. All I can say from picture is that girl is really petite, dark haired. She seems to be sad, lonely, waiting for someone. I'm confused, I should know who she is if she is someone I had got so intimate and careless. I'm sure that there had been none that could be mother to my child and girl in picture has dark hair, not blond and I prefer blonds, always have, always will.

Johanna sighs, stands up and slams her hands to table. "Tobias, get real. This is a really huge thing and you must remember! YOU MUST! This can ruin everything, your whole life you know. DO YOU UNDERSTAND!" Now she is angry but so am I. I jump up, shouting as well "I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG! THIS IS JUST A SCUM, HOAX, MIX-UP!". Johanna flares up "don't you dare to shout to me Tobias." she says in very shallow voice. By that I know that I have crossed lines I should have not but I cannot help myself. "TRIS WAS MY ONLY LOVE, ONLY WOMAN I WOULD HAVE MADE TO BE MOTHER TO MY CHILDREN IF SHE WOULD HAVE LIVED. I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG AND I'M SURE ABOUT THAT. YOU SHOULD BE TOO!". Johanna turns around and shouts "DON'T YOU DARE TO RAISE YOUR VOICE TO ME YOUNG MAN!"

Johanna rushes out from my office, slams my door shut and I sit down, I haven't seen Johanna so upset nor angry ever before. She had lived with Amity and what I remember she had been nice and calm, even when I haven't deserved that. After a long breath and calming down I pick up papers from my desk. I start reading that letter, looking that picture, trying to find any hints from them, trying to understand what was going on. I turn picture around and there is a really light pencil marking on back. "P + E, embryo genomes proven pure, gestation weeks 39" and a date that is little bit over 5 years ago. Above that someone had written by pen Tobias Eaton and underlined E. "What the fu..." I whisper. Shivers go up and down my spine. Someone is truly suggesting that I'm the dad but who is the mother? P? If E stands for Eaton what does P stand for? Only P I have know was Prior, but it cannot be Tris! Tris had died more than four years before this photo was taken and woman in picture isn't Tris, that's for sure. Someone is really playing this game dirty and trying to blame me. Could Caleb do something like this? Bureaus Archives? Has Bureau something to do with this mess? But why? No way possible, they have their refunds cut and project for "pure people" had been shut down years ago, Johanna had made it clear that the Government cannot support Bureaus human tests, they were unethical and would lead to another war if continued.

I got out from my office and head to see Johanna. Johanna is on phone, talking to someone and lifts her hand when she sees me. "5 minutes" she mouthes to me and I nod, stand by doorway. "Are you sure about that... hmmm... yes... I know... but where you got that information? Who told you?... aha... hmmm... But you can be sure that the source is trustworthy? ... aha... mmmm... yes... are you sure?...when you get new information?... tell me as soon as possible any news... of course we will deny everything, you don't have anything that proves this right... We shouldn't? Why?... aha... mmmm-mmmm... yes, I know..." I have to say that I hate this, hearing only Johanna's part of conversation that includes me. Johanna is looking to me all the time. "Yes, I tell to him... yes, yes... hmmm... yes...but let me know anytime you get something to prove this. Thanks, bye!". Johanna shuts the phone and slams it to table.

She just sits there, silent, looking up to me. "Lets go and have some lunch." She finally says, stands up and gets her coat. "I need some fresh air" she mutters and I rush to take my coat, then run after her. She is waiting for me outside, pacing around. I haven't ever seen Johanna so upset. "Lets walk" she says when she sees me and we start a brisk walk towards restaurants. "I called to Chicago, to my informants you know. They said that no one knows who this mother or child is, only that the child was born 5 years ago, about 7 months after you moved to Providence and there had been some rumors that it was the reason why you moved, to avoid any contact. You were running away from your responsibilities, you got scared and denied everything. Of course no one is sure about this and no one knows who the mother is nor have seen that child that is rumored be yours and maybe the picture is related to these rumor maybe not. Who has started these rumors is unknown but several people has told that they have heard rumors, including many of your friends. My informants are looking after any evidence to prove this right or wrong but I think it's best that we don't comment this before we get any evidence."

I look to Johanna and sigh. "Do I look like a man that would run away his responsibilities?" I ask and she is silent a really long time, looking me from head to toe. "Today I would say that you are like you used to be 10 years ago when I met you first time. And you are trustworthy, standing behind your actions and words. But only a year ago you were a different man and I'm not sure if I could have trusted that man. He was not a nice man you know, selfish, alcoholic, liar..." I looked Johanna shocked. Had it been so bad? "I'm sorry I yelled to you but really this is a huge shock to me." She nods "I understand that and no need to be sorry, I'm sorry too losing my temper. We try to figure out who is behind of all these rumors and are those rumors true or false. We deal with them when we know. This will effect your campaign if the press hears the rumors and it there really is a illegitimate child but it can also help you if we do right things, say right words. We have to plan what to say if press get to know this and I bet that this will be public information sooner or later. If it's a rumor that spreads around Chicago and many your friends know that then also your enemies will know and they can use this against you. But saying "I didn't know" is not the best way to deal with this." I nod and hope that Caleb will never hear these rumors. He could take those against me...

As I have said before, Johanna is one of smartest woman I know! She is like a mother to me, mother that I never had after Evelyn faked her death and leaved me.


	4. Caleb's pov 2

\- Caleb pov -

Friday morning and I wake up late from work. Kids are screaming, Allen most, Beata is hushed quick. Allen wants pancakes for breakfast, he wants to go to playground, not to daycare. I hear Cara talking to Allen but it's not so easy to turn his head, he can be really stubborn sometimes. Cara says that it's just because he is 3 years old and it's just a normal thing. I don't know so much about children even I have two of my own. I jump up from bed, take a quick shower and fresh clothes. I rush downstairs, kiss Cara quickly on her forehead "sorry-I'm-late-have-to-run-have-a-nice-day" and I'm out from door. I know Cara hates when I do that but no options today. Bus comes in right time, this is the later bus that I never take but now I don't have any choice.

I get out from bus by Market Place station, it's a short walk from here to work. When I get to office I'm only 20 minutes late, not bad. Alexa's offices door is open when I walk by and there is a huge mess inside. Papers lying on the table, under the table, on chairs. It's like someone had searched something from there, I have never seen her office so untidy before. Alexa is not in her office and I look around. Nope, no Alexa here, not by the coffee machine, not by copy machine. I open my office door, it's locked and everything is in original places. On my door there is a post-it, just saying "Alexa called, you didn't answer. She has a migraine, not coming today. - Tia - ". Tia is my coworker in city council, working next door. I take a post-it with me and get inside my office. It's like the sun had gone out when Alexa is not here and I miss seeing her, hearing her new ideas.

I look my calendar, just one interview at 11 am and then at afternoon there will be a photo shoot to my campaign, held at art school. And next to that is written with Alexa's tidy handwriting "remember the flowers for the grave". It's her idea that there will be pictures taken about me standing by my parents and Beatrice's grave, just to remind the people how much I have lost in Purity War, how much I have given to Chicago. I know that Beatrice is not in that grave, Four got her ashes around city. I think that was a really crazy way to do a funeral but it was Four's way to say goodbye to Tris, not my way to remember and honor the deceased. I didn't get my voice heard, it was all Four and his grief, Four and his lost love, Four and his friends. But then, it wasn't Beatrice we buried that way, it was Tris.

I read my mail, nothing interesting in there. I reply some e-mails and then I make a search, typing "Erica Matthews" to searching window. It takes time, longer than usual, before there comes the basic data of Erica: "Erica Alexandra Matthews, age 24, education: University of Chicago, major politics and civil law. Unmarried. Owns apartment at Chicago and Providence. Working as an intern in city council to Caleb Prior. No police records. Hobbies: sports, three times champion in Market day Triathlon." Same stuff that was in application letter for internship, no news here. There is a picture of Alexa, a school photo from high school prom. She looks small, fragile but pretty, same smile than always. Smile doesn't reach her eyes, it seldom does, but she seems to like young man standing next to her, his hand around her slim waist. He looks cocky, like he owns Alexa. There is no mention of her parents or other relatives what is kind of odd, like someone had tampered her records, erased some data. Luckily I'm good with computers and in no time I have some new information.

Boy in photo is Matias Tempton, once a big star in high school football, now a private coach, training in running. Personal trainer to Alexa, living at Providence. That explains why Alexa travels a lot to Providence and back I think, she had told that it was just she had contacts there and better environment for training. Boy is same age than Alexa... and he is married to Eliana Tempton. So now I know why Alexa doesn't want to talk about her personal life, she has an affair with her high school boyfriend that is now married to someone else! I smile to myself, little snooping around doesn't harm you just make things clearer...

I check about Erika Matthews, then Alexa Matthews and finally Alexandra Matthews. Only data comes with first search and nothing else can be found. Computer gives other options like Jeanine Matthews but I'm not interested about her. Yes, former leader of Erudite, one of smartest woman I have know but cold, ambitious, selfish... She had been unmarried, lived only for work. And then I see one photo of Janine, standing next to a man, looking just like a male version of Jeanine. Text under the photo says just : "Jeanine and James". I search about James Matthews and find out that he had two kids, a boy and girl, no names. Boy had marked executed during Purity War, at age of 18. After losing his son he had moved to Milwaukee with his 14 years old daughter. No further records and no matter how I try I cannot find any more information about James or his children, nor Erica. It could be Erica, age is same so as last name, but what was relationship between Jeanine and James? And who were her brother and why was he executed?

I don't have more time, my 11 am interview starts really soon, the journalist will be here soon. I shut the computer, stretch and rub my temples, I have a headache coming up. I need more coffee I think and head to coffee machine. Now Alexa's office door is shut and I knock to it. No one opens that, no sound comes from room. I try to open the door, it's locked. I wonder if I'm just imagining seeing the door open and room messed up. I stand a while in front of the coffee machine wondering if I'm loosing my mind. Well, maybe the cleaner had shut the door I figure. I have to ask Alexa clean up her office when she comes back on Monday. Journalist comes, we take our coffees with us and head to my room. He has lots of questions about how I see our City and what I could do for the City when I'm in Government. Easy questions, I promise to do my best, keep our City in mind. He asks what my wife have said about moving and thats first time I have to lie. "She looks forward to moving to Providence" I reply but I'm not sure. Maybe Cara really wants to stay here in Chicago and get back to her old job.

When the interview is over I walk with journalist to doors and there he asks "Have you talked with Tobias Eaton lately? He was your friend right? And your sisters boyfriend? How does it feel that he is your opponent and Johanna's favorite to job?" I freeze for a little time, then smile."Haven't really met Tobias, he was my sisters boyfriend but it was years ago and we haven't been ever very close." Journalist nods, writes something to his papers and wishes all best for the election. I head back to my office, it would be time for lunch brake and I have to take my coat first. When I pass Alexa's office it's like I heard some noise coming from there, but when I knock to door all I get is total silence. "Just imagining" I mutter under breath, crab my stuff from my office and head to Tia's office to ask if I can get some company.

Afternoon is long, going to different places. Students take photos of me and I get to travel all around city and have various tasks to do. It's kind of fun, different to what I do normally. I see some stills, they look great. I get home late, Cara is giving Allen a bath and Beata is already sleeping. "Hi honey, what's for dinner?" I ask and all I get is a subtemperature glare. Nothing in oven, nothing in fridge... Cara is really pissed to me this time I think. "Honey?" I ask and she shakes her head. It takes over a hour for Allen to fall asleep, then Cara comes to me. "Do you really know how tired I am?" she asks. "I let you sleep long tomorrow morning and we do something fun at weekend" I promise.

On Saturday morning I have to wake up 5.30 am when Beata start to cry and she would'n stop, no matter what I do. Cara sighs and feeds Beata "well it is not so easy you see." she says and heads back to bed. Beata is smiling and I'm wondering what we can do together. What does a typical 5 month old do? Allen wakes up at 7.00 and is much easier to make happy. I promise pancakes for breakfast, that was something I remember he wanted yesterday but he wants cereals. I throw pancake mix back to freezer and get cereals for him. Then I pour some milk over them and it's bad thing. He doesn't want milk over his cereals. I get another bowl and pour milk to glass, cereals to bowl. By 9 am I'm tired and Cara is still sleeping... "how about if we get out?" I ask from kids and then star to wonder what I should wear to them, which one to help first in dressing up. When Allen is ready to go I smell Beata's bottom and she really needs her diaper changed. I haven't done that in ages and now it's the bigger thing in diapers. I gag but get job done. Allen is sitting by door, complaining how hot it is, asking constantly when we will go, are we going now, why aren't we gone... How an earth does Cara survive?

Then I realize that Cara is standing by bedroom door, smiling. "Just give Beata here and go out with Allen, Beata will soon be hungry again and start her first nap so it's better that way. One thing, I bet you would like to change your pj's first to normal clothes before you go... and thanks for diaper change, I wasn't sure can you handle that." I smirk, bow my head and hurry to change my clothes.

Finally we are out from our apartment and I look to Allen "so, a little man-time, what shall we do?". Allen smirks, thinks and asks "Can we go and hunt some dinosaul, so mum can make a dinosaul stew tonight?". I shake my head "not possible, no dinosaurs around here." Allen thinks little while "can we go to youl office so I can see whele all impoltant stuff is made?" he asks and I look to him. "Is that really where you want to go?". He sighs "no, but I think that is whele you want to go 'cause you go thele evely day even when mummy clies a lot aftel you go." he replies. "What if we just go to Mercenary Square, I know that there is a shop that sells best donuts of this City and your mum really loves them". Allen smiles really wide smile "do they have ones that has pink flosting and lots of those... well... those... sugal things over them?" "Sprinkles?" "Yes daddy, splinkles is what mummy loves". So we head to Mercenary Square, get a big box of donuts, all kinds of donuts and I get also a big bouquet of roses. They are expensive but I think they are something that Cara needs, she loves stuff like that. I can't remember that my father would have ever got donuts or roses to my mother.

Cara and Beata are still sleeping when we get back to home so I take Allen to my home office and he can try to type his name in computer. "Alen and Allllleeen" are the best he does but it's a start, he is learning alphabets. When Cara wakes up and sees the roses and donuts she has forgiven all my sins or so I hope. Rest of the weekend goes smoothly and I'm a happy man on Monday. My favorite day! And it's only four months until the election...


	5. Four's pov 3

\- Tobias pov -

Two months have passed by like two minutes, we have a lot to do before election. No news from Chicago about that child or mother, that's good news. Maybe it was just a hoax. I try to do some searching myself but cannot find anything. I search about Bureau and get only facts I already know. All project data is "closed" or "access denied". Funding from Government had ended four and half years ago but they were still operating on smaller volumes by private funding. There still were people that believed in being Pure or Damaged is making some difference. That makes me sad and angry. I had tough that we were over it. I cannot find any source of private funding, any names behind that.

On Wednesday morning, when I had just got to office after spending 1 hour at gym kickboxing, Johanna comes and hands me some papers. I assume immediately that there is some bad news but no, there is only a timetable for next weeks. I look at timetable and it's filled with meetings with press and then I notice that most of happenings are marked to take place in Chicago. There will be some dinner parties and I guess that some of happenings include also Caleb. Johanna nods, like she had read my mind. "Sorry for the short notice, we had the timetable just fixed and here it is. As you can see there is a private meeting marked here on this Friday. We are going to Chicago tomorrow evening and you have a private meeting with Caleb Prior on Friday morning and on afternoon you will meet some other Chicago's city council members. " I nod, it's coming real, me against Caleb. I just wonder what I will talk with Caleb? All we have common was Tris or as he calls her Beatrice.

So I pack my things from office that I will be needing and on evening I skip exercises, packing my clothes; suits and then t-shirts and jeans. I find my old Dauntless-leather jacket from closet and try it on. It fits perfect and looks great on me, even I have got some new muscles and some suits doesn't fit at all. I cut my hair, no mirror needed, I know how to do this and then I look myself from mirror and see Four, not Tobias. I'm ready for Chicago! I know it won't be easy, it never is, Chicago brings back so many memories about Tris. But now I know I'm in better shape, in mentally as well as in physically, so first time after all these years I think everything will be just fine.

Thursday evening we arrive to Chicago and I'm going to stay at hotel even after my mothers protests. She wants me to stay in her place, in my old house that is, but I don't feel like I want to go there. That is, to me, a place of sorrow and heartache. It's better for me to stay in city, in hotel. I promise to meet her at weekend, if I have any time. Not sure yet. Not sure if I want. When we have checked in and got our rooms I call to some of my old friends. A quick shower, black t-shirt and black jeans and I'm ready. I see some heads turning when I walk to hotel bar where I meet Christina, Amar, Zeke and George. I called to Cara also but she said that she cannot come because her husband is in some meeting and it will take long and she cannot leave kids alone at home. I didn't know that she was married nor that she had kids, haven't really been in touch with her in years and no one had told me any gossips... I promise to Cara that I will try to meet her at weekend, if possible and she said it would be nice.

When I see Amar he looks me from head to toe and nods. "No need to kill you, Four" he says and Christina raises her eyebrows "why would you do something like that Amar?" she asks and I laugh. "You didn't see me eight months ago, I wasn't in this shape then. Amar saved me from myself and now it's drinks on me!". They share some rumors with me and I ask have they heard any rumors about me. Christina looks surprised and asks "Like what kind of rumors?" and I just look back straight in her eyes. "Any kind of rumors." I reply and she hesitates a while. Not telling everything straight like a condor? "Well, there were this reporter or something like that. He asked if I knew anything your relationships with women or girls, have you had any or if you were more interested about boys...". I laugh, not a first time than people doesn't understand why I don't have a girlfriend. Zeke continued "I've heard same rumor, they have asked if I were your boyfriend Four.". We laugh together but at same time I think that no one told any rumors about me having a child with some girl. Good or bad thing?

"Well then, what is going on here? Amar has you George and you have two kids, so I heard" and when I look to Amar he looks briefly to George before he raises three fingers. "It's going to be three kids near Choosing day, didn't want to tell earlier when we saw." I raise my eyebrows "wow, congrats to you both!" I say and really mean that. Christina smiles and looks to Zeke "and we are happy together" she says, taking Zeke's hand to her hand. I look from Zeke, who has blushed, to Christina, who is just smiling. As I have tough they all have moved on, living their lives fully. Like there have never been any war, like Tris haven't died... then it hits again like a bang to my heart. I miss her, I really miss her but should I continue, find someone else. I know that I will never love anyone else as much as I loved Tris but if I could find someone to share my life with. Someone who understands that she cannot ever be as important than Trish was.

We drink more, get something to eat, drink and talk like there haven't been all these years. George is first that leaves, he has early morning tomorrow and soon after that also Zeke and Christina leaves, together. There is only Amar and myself. Amar hesitates a while and then tells "there was a man questioning few months ago about you. He asked if I knew that why you left from Chicago in such hurry five years ago. There had been rumors about were having an affair with a 18 years old girl and her father didn't approve it. And that girl was raped and got pregnant by you.". I shake my head "no, not possible, I wouldn't do anything like that ever to anyone, you know me Amar, don't you.". Amar smiles but looks sad at same time "yes I know and I guess that is only some rumor trying to destroy your reputation. But you asked and now I ask for you to look also behind your shoulder, I don't know who that man was, never have seen him before, never after that. Cocky looking guy, but arms like spaghetti. Just take care of yourself!".I smirk "I will, just were wondering why, I heard those rumors too and was trying to find out if it's common knowledge...". Amar shrugs and then pats me to shoulder. "Take care and lets see when you are here in Chicago, I wish you will come and see my family also." I promise, if I have any time, seems like everyone wants a piece of my time now when I'm here.

On Friday morning I have just a little hangover but nothing I cannot manage. A quick morning run, just little over 30 minutes to really wake me up, then a shower and shave. After that I dress in black jeans and black t-shirt and leather jacket. There is just a short walk to Caleb's office and I check that I'm not late. Nope, 3 minutes early. Caleb's office is at former Erudite's headquarters, where else it would be I think. I remember last time when I was there, years ago and in sudden bang I remember Tris and it hurts in my heart. I slow my steps a bit and then I see a young girl that I recognize from Providence. I saw her when she was running, training for the... what was that... yes, for the triathlon on Market Day. She was Amar's former student and called... what was her name... then I remember it just in time.

"Alexa" I greet her and she smiles little surprised. "Hi! Excuse me, I don't remember your name." she replies and I feel little disappointed but smile back to her. "no problem, I'm Tobias Eaton but you can call me Four." She looks surprised even she was obviously waiting for me. She looks me from head to toe and turns then red, avoiding eye contact. "I take you to your meeting with mr Prior, I'm his intern" she mutters and I reply "I know that you work for Caleb, just lead the way.". She clearly recognizes my name and my reputation. I let her walk few steps in front of me and enjoy the view, as I remembered she has a pretty athlete body even in polite suit and her black hair is in tight bun, showing her pretty face and long, slim neck. When we step in elevator I can smell her perfume; roses, sandalwood and vanilla. Mmm... smells good! Then I meet her eyes through elevators mirror wall. She is looking me like she cannot believe in her eyes, like I'm a hunk or something... she didn't look me like that back in Providence, when I was just a old, sweaty man called Tobias. When she realizes that I have noticed that she is looking me she blushes again.

"Would you like to have some coffee?" she asks and looks to my eyes first time then, just briefly. "Yes please, strong, black coffee, no milk, no sugar needed." I reply looking to her and she blushes again. Why? I don't know and it's kind of funny, all this blushing. She heads me to Caleb's door and knocks there. "Enter" says familiar voice and she opens the door. Caleb stands up and smiles but I see that this is not a easy appointment for him. Alexa says "Here is mr Eaton, your 9am meeting. Would you like to have some coffee mr Prior?". Caleb nods "just bring a double latte to me" and looks to me. Alexa nods " I'll bring your coffees soon." and leaves. Caleb points to seats next a small table and asks me to sit down.

"So you and I will race for the Government this year" he says finally, after a long silence. I look straight at him "Tell me what is the real purpose of this meeting, why you wanted to see me. " Caleb hesitates a while and then Alexa knocks by door again, bringing our coffees. She had found big peaces of chocolate cake, it looks almost as good as I remember Dauntless cake were. We thank her and she leaves. I sip little bit coffee, it truly is strong, just the way I like it. Cake is good, not best cake I ever had, but good.

Then I look back to Caleb. "Now, tell me. Why this meeting?".


	6. Caleb's pov 3

**First:** Thank you for your reviews Savanah Rose and Dr Odyssey. I had totally missed the fact that George and Amar are a pair... my bad! So I corrected some things I have written. Thanks! And now I know one more twist is coming up to plot ;-)

oOoOoOoOo

-Caleb pov-

On Monday morning I wake up early and I'm first at office. Not a first time and I like it that way, I get much work done in early hours when there is no interruptions. I notice that Alexa's office door is shut, like it was on Friday – she hasn't come to work yet.

First I wait my computer to turn on but there comes only an error message after an error message. Finally I realize that I have to call to our tech support, even when I'm good with computer I cannot handle this. There's no-one yet, I bet it will take over a hour for them to come to work so I will get nothing done with computer before that. All I can do is get some coffee and a newspaper.

I hear footsteps in front of my office, someone wearing high heels. Then there is a knock and Alexa enters to room. "Good morning mr Prior" she says and I smile "Good morning Alexa and please, call me Caleb as I have asked many times. Are you feeling better?". She nods, hesitates a while "Yes, it was a terrible migraine on last Friday but it passed with rest and medication. How was your weekend... Caleb?". It's not easy for her to use my first name I see. "So, what's our agenda for this week?" I ask and she explains what she has planned. More and more upcoming election is showing and I have meetings with media people. I cannot confirm any dates because my computer doesn't work so we go to Alexas office, she has user rights to my calendar also. Her office is tidy, as always, everything is on they places. I wonder what was that I saw on Friday or did I see anything?

I get some guy from tech support come over to see my computer by 11 am. I leave for a lunch, take Alexa with me. She is truly really smart and funny and she makes me feel like I am wise and like she looks up to me. The computer guy is working with my computer when we get back, it takes totally over 2 hours of hacking code to my computer to make it work again. He leaves and I try to continue my search from Friday. I have tough Alexa's backgrounds during the weekend and I try to do some new research. No luck, nothing found. I mean nothing, I cannot even find that picture I found on Friday. Only a basic information about Erica Matthews can be found, but no photos, no school records, nothing more. That is kind of odd... she had been here in Chicago at university so there should be some records here. She had made some studies and articles that should be found. Nothing. I try to search Jeanine Matthews and all information I get is old data, nothing new. Nothing about Jeanine's parents, married life, friends, brother or sisters, parents nor kids. Nope. Nothing, nothing about her backgrounds, her childhood, where she was growing up. Just a small chapter in history, few lines about her being Erudite's leader just before and in the beginning of Purity War. And then I look for the file I made on Friday, where I stored all data I found then. Nothing can be found, hole file had gone... What is going on? All other files on my computer work just fine and all are in right places, just that one missing.

When I get home finally, still wondering what have happened to my computer, Cara is on phone, talking to someone. Kids are already sleeping and I feel guilty. Cara looks, then turns her back to me. I bet she's complaining to some of her friends how badly I treat her and get bit angry. Don't I bring all money to home, she can do anything she wishes and besides, she wanted another baby, not me. Allen would have been enough for me. I sigh, it's always like that. I work too hard and I'm not enough for Cara, she makes me feel like I'm not the right man for her. I go to kitchen to see if there is something to eat and finally Cara comes there. "Hi honey." I say and she looks to me. "Oh, you finally got home!" she says in cold voice. I try to ignore that "To who you were talking?" I ask and she glares to me. "Do I have to report everything I do to you?" she asks. "No honey, just asking..." I reply and she snorts. "Sometimes you are just a... just a... mouse, not a man. Will you ever be a man, Caleb?" she asks glaring to me. I feel headache coming. "I'm sorry Cara, I know it's hard for you to be at home alone and my days are too long, I leave you alone with kids too often and too long times but soon it will be better. Only four months until election, you know.". She turns around and storms away from kitchen shouting "YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT MY LIFE SO DON'T YOU LECTURE ME AND PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH, MOUSE! AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION I REALLY WISH THAT TOBIAS WINS.". She rushes to our bedroom and bangs the door shut. Both of our kids wake up and start crying to mom. I rush to sooth Allen "everything is okay, daddy is here, just sleep". He sobs a bit, then cuddles his teddy called Matty and is back to sleep. I hear from our room that Beata has quiet down but Cara is... crying? I open bedroom door and look inside. She throws a pillow to me "go away, I don't want to see you" she says. And because I'm a nice man I go to my office room, there is a pretty good sofa in there. I can sleep there, not a first night doing that...

This time it takes over two weeks for Cara to let me back to our bedroom. Beata turns 6 months and starts to crawl, teething. She is crying at nights and Cara is really tired. One of my colleagues has a teenager girl who is a good babysitter so I call to her and arrange that Cara will have time off, she can sleep or do what ever she wants. At first Cara is against that but then she is turning notable happier and not so sleepy and cranky all times so I guess it a spot on arrangement. One night I meet Cara siting on sofa with her legs on table, drinking wine with Christina. They are giggling and I notice that the bottle on table is empty. "Where are the kids?" I ask and Cara shrugs. "Don't know, Suze is taking care of them." I notice that both Cara and Christina are more than a bit drunk. "Just sit down here and talk to us, Suze can handle kids" Cara says, flirting to me, curling her hair around fingers, winking and Christina giggles. Then I hear a loud crash. I rush out from room to see kids myself. Allen is asleep in his day clothing and his bed has still cover on, not made for sleep. There is some smudges on his face, dirt and old food, he has not been bathed tonight. I rush to Beata and find that Suze has fallen asleep on our bed and Beata is sitting next to her, close the edge of bed and eating something and there is something red all over her face. My heart skipped a beat, is it blood? I go closer and find out that she is eating some sort of lipstick or lip gloss or whatever and that is the red color all over her face also. All the rest of Suzy's purse is all around our bedroom floor, that was the crash. Luckily it was only a purse, not Beata that fell from bed! Beata protests when I take the rest of makeup away from her and rush to toilet to clean her face. It cannot be toxic I tell to myself, it cannot be... Front door bangs shut and then there is total silence in house, ringing in my ears.

I get bottle of milk from fridge and see that both, Christina and Cara have left. Beata falls asleep with warm milk, I sooth her to her own bed and wonder what I will do next. I let Suze sleep, clean up house, dish wine classes and go to our bedroom. I cannot sleep in our bed when because of Suze so I crab my pillow and blanket and head to office room and it's pretty good sofa. I'm wondering if we should by a single bed there, there would be more use to that than to a sofa...

Next morning Cara comes home just when I'm starting my breakfast. She doesn't meet my eyes when she whispers "sorry". She goes to bedroom and I hear some shouting from there, then she comes back to kitchen . "CALEB PRIOR, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" she shouts to me and I have no idea what is wrong. "So getting some young girls to our bed is a good idea? When I once take a night off you get a new girl to sleep with?". I realize that she has misunderstood, at morning I threw pillow and blanket to my place, next to still asleep Suze and now she is thinking that I have slept with Suze. "Cara, I swear, I slept in my office" I tell her and she snorts. I can hear Suze running away from our house and kids are crying. "Now look what you have done" I tell to Cara and continue "now you have to deal with it, I'm going to work." she takes my plate and throws it to wall. "GO AND STAY AWAY, I don't need you, my life would have been BETTER WITHOUT A STIFF LIKE YOU" she says. Even I can say that there is something really wrong in our relationship.

I call to Suze, apologize this morning and little scold her about falling asleep and leaving Beata play with her makeups close to edge of our bed, she could have fallen and got hurt really bad. She apologize that, she hasn't meant to fall asleep. I promise to pay more if she can still continue babysitting for us and leave from work early, get some big roses to Cara, to apologize this morning. She loves roses, she sometimes buy roses herself. I'm not ready to find out what I see when I get home. Cara is there, breastfeeding Beata and kissing same time with Matthew. "Matty, Matty, look this" Allen is pulling his shirt and Matthew laughs, then looking up and seeing me. Cara almost drops Beata. "Oh, you are early..." she whispers and Matthew stands up "I have to go, it was nice to see you Cara. Call me when you have read the paper and though about what I offered!" he says and passes me with little nod to my direction, I stand like I'm paralyzed. I didn't expect that, I knew that they used to go out and one point they were engaged but then Cara changed her mind and started to go out with me, we got married and got kids... Why was Allen calling Matthew Matty? And his teddy was Matty also... Cara had told that Christina gave it to him, but was it like so? Why it was named to Matty then? Cara is trying to explain but I raise my hand. "Please, there is nothing you can say" I just say and get a bag from closet. I pack up few clean clothes, a razor and another suit. Allen comes to see what I'm doing. "Daddy is going to a short trip, I'm coming home soon. You can ask if mommy helps you to call to me, anytime." I tell and then look to Cara first time. "We talk this later, not now.". And I leave. I can't believe what happened, seeing Cara kissing with another man, her former fiancé and me leaving my home, my kids, my wife...

Days pass by, weeks and I live at small rental apartment near my office. I spend long days at work, make more studies. I have heard rumors about Bureau having a private funding and continuing the work for genetically pure people. And who else than Matthew is in charge of that study, even when he is in public saying that he don't believe of people being Genetically Pure or Genetically Damaged. At the same time Bureau is helping with people who have troubles to conceive – that is one good source for money I notice. But there is some unsettling things also, including the usage of young girls as surrogate mothers. Bureau claims that all are over 18 years old and qualified after long physical and mental test to be surrogates and legal documents are valid, approved by Government. Because Bureaus headquarters are located within Chicago city limits I can find lots of information about their funding. One of biggest funders is Evelyn Johnson and Matthew, then there is some companies funding them but they are located elsewhere so it's harder to get any information about then. Names are hidden and there is many errors in database. Like someone had erased them on purpose!

Then I find information I wasn't expecting, there is a side note in plans about making Genetically Pure humans that chills me, makes shivers go up and down in my spine. I call to Johanna, I need to ask few things.

We talk long, she will make some research in Providence according Bureaus work and its legalization and she gets results to me. "Does Four know about this?" I ask when I thank for data she emails to me during our conversation. "Not yet" she replies after a long pause. I wonder what she is hiding. "Please, don't tell to Tobias." I ask and she grunts "Don't you dare to use this against him, Caleb!". "I'm not thinking to." I reply and continue "when are you coming to Chicago, if I can get a private meeting with Four?". Johanna sighs "we are coming there next weekend as planned, on Monday there will be two months left before Choosing Day and you know what it means. We have to be there, on city councils final meeting before election." I look my calendar "could you be here few days earlier, I have an opening on Friday morning and I really need to talk with Four... Tobias. It's been a while since I have last seen him." Johanna is silent, looking her calendar I guess, and then she replies. " Okay, nine am on Friday."

On Thursday I have a meeting with Alexa, and when we finish I rub my temples. I don't sleep well in my rental apartment, bed is too soft to sleep properly, not like ones I have used to. Alexa stands up and sits on my table, next to me and starts to massage my temples. Her hands move soothingly over my head, down to my neck and my shoulders. I stiff up first, not used to be touched but then her fingers find right places to massage and it feels good. Pain is going away, we don't talk, not even look each other. I can smell her perfume, roses and something else, a nice and light perfume, perfect for her. I look to Alexa, we are very close to each other, her hands more caressing than massaging now. She is lifting my head upwards, our lips are just few inches apart.

Then I hear a noise from office door. "I tough you were punishing me after my bad behavior but no you are not any better, Caleb." Cara says. I look to her, then to Alexa "Thank you Alexa, you can go now" I say and she quickly runs away from my office. "That was not same as you did to me" I reply to Cara. "Maybe not, but what else have you done?" she replies and I glare to her "And what else have you done?" I ask. She sighs "I didn't come here to argue with you, I came to here apologize and ask if you could come back to home. Kids miss you... I miss you." She says. I sigh "well, then you shouldn't have kissed Matthew..." and she nods. "It was only that time, he came by to see me and it was just that one kiss... I mean it should not have happened but it did and I didn't mean to hurt you and..." she looks to me, tears in her eyes. "Having kids is much harder than I tough, sometimes I feel like my life is running away. You can be important, do important things and all I do is stay at home and be a mom. Matthew came to see me if I'm ready to return to work, he said that he has a job for me, in one of his research teams, I would be leading it. I have looked all data he left for me and I think that I could work at part time, few days at week. We will need a nanny to take care of kids and..." . I raise my hand "but what happens if... when I get elected to Government? What then? And do you honestly think that I will let you work for Matthew, for Bureau?". Cara sighs "Just please, come home tonight. Lets talk about this and I can show you some papers I have about the project Matthew is waiting for me to lead".

So I come to home early and Allen is thrilled. We play games and he wants me to read a bedtime story for him. Beata was little shy of me first but soon she was flirting, showing her new pair of pearly teeth. When I read to Allen a story about Dragons and Dragonlords Beata falls asleep in my lap. I kiss Allen's temple and he falls soon asleep, then I put Beata in her bed. She turns but doesn't wake up. Then I go and see what papers Cara wants me to read. First time in weeks I sleep good in my own bed, next to my wife.

On Friday morning I'm early at work and so is Alexa. I apologize to her, she apologizes to me and we smile even it's little awkward. When I look to Alexa I see what Cara have seen, a young, smart girl just like she was 10 years ago. Not meaning that she isn't smart anymore, but she is older now. I'm aware that Alexa is very ambitious as well as Cara is and I know it would be good for my relationship with Cara to let her work few days per week. It would do only good for her, make her use her brains again. But is the Bureau a right place for her? I don't think so...

I hear Alexa asking to someone that how he likes his coffee. I look my watch and it's 8:59. Just in time Four comes to my room. "Here is mr Eaton, your 9am meeting. Would you like to have some coffee mr Prior?" she says, little blushed. I nod "just bring a double latte to me" and look to Four. Alexa nods " I'll bring your coffees soon." and leaves. I point to seats next a small table and ask Four to sit down there, I join him. "So you and I will race for the Government this year" I say finally, after a long silence. I haven't seen Four since the announcement at Mercenary Square that he will be Johanna's chosen candidate for election and it's shocking to see how he had changed since that. It's almost ten months and then he was more like his father were, now he is back in a soldier look. Looking young, fit... no wonder that Alexa had blushed! He looks straight to my eyes "Tell me what is the real purpose of this meeting, why you wanted to see me. " I hesitate a while and then Alexa knocks by door again, bringing our coffees. She had found big peaces of chocolate cake, my favorite cake. We thank her and she leaves.

Then he looks back to me. "Now, tell me. Why this meeting?". "I have found some really disturbing news about the Bureau and I wanted to ask your opinion and what you know about Bureaus research and it's funding."


	7. Four's pov 4

Savannah Rose: Here it comes, are you ready? ;-) and Dr Odyssey: It's what Caleb thinks, that Alexa is dating with her high school sweetheart, who is married to someone else, she hasn't had time to open up with Caleb about her boyfriends... and some is explained here, at least some about Cara's actions.

oOoOoOo

\- Tobias pov -

"What kind of news you have found,Caleb." I ask and sip some coffee. "Well... at first that your mum is donating lots of money to research after genetically pure humans. And they are using really young girls as surrogate mothers." I look to Caleb, remembering that photo I got, and message about young girl, expecting a child to me. Could it be something that Bureau had done and if so does Caleb know about it? And how would they have got my DNA? Then I remember all blood tests and other tests they did to us, they got pretty good amount of our DNA then and they have laboratory spaces, technology, equipment... everything needed. But could they do something like that, aren't there any laws against it? If they have my DNA and they have used it against my will they will be in trouble, that's for sure!

Then I focus back to what Caleb is saying. "And that's why I wanted to meet you..." his voice traces off and he is looking at me, waiting for my reply. "Sorry, missed few things, you got me wondering few gossips I have heard." Caleb looks eager "so you have heard something also?". I shrug, not sure how much I can tell to Caleb. "I know that they have continued their research and that they operate mostly on private funding. I didn't know that my mother is one of funders, but I don't keep in touch with my mother. And about those surrogate mothers, what do you think? Are they braking laws? Because I know that it's sometimes only way to get a baby, by using a surrogate, and I have understood that they pay well and no one is forced to be a surrogate." I see from Caleb's face that he was waiting more from me. "You are not bothered that they use young girls that need money? They make an offer to girls, offer that is so good that they cannot refuse. They search out for girls who are desperately in need money and then there are all legal documents. Girls give their body to Bureau for 10 months to use and get nothing more than a lot of money out of that What you thing that does to young girls mind?" I nod and agree that it's not very ethical way to make babies. But they treat girls well, they are not prisoners. All paperwork have passed different committees in Government. All we could do was shut all funding from Government but that just transfered them to use private funding. I get some papers from Caleb, read them quickly. I don't understand all that is written, there is some really technical language there. Caleb explains "I found out that they can use any type of DNA, they need just 23 chromosomes per donor. They have these embryos that are just being made, fertilized eggs. They remove the chromosomes and transfer to egg new ones. They always use two half sets of chromosomes, it's 23+23, two donors. Technically it's same as in nature when there is half from mother, half from father.. If they would use only one donors full set of chromosomes they would be cloning the donor and they don't want that, there is no use to clone Genetically Damaged. As you can see they are trying to make, they are making Genetically Pure humans. They can use any type of cell that contains chromosomes, they can isolate chromosomes from various sources, in these studies they prefer blood. And when they get new chromosomes inside to an egg they separate one cell and determinate it the embryo is Pure or Damaged. They throw the Damaged ones away and only implant Pure embryos. They don't tell it out aloud. They research suitable combinations and calculate possibilities to create more efficiently Genetically Pure humans. I fear if they continue that there will be new war coming." I nod and have to agree. " Why do you think that surrogate mothers are all young?" Then I get it, just by asking it; they are easier to buy, they do it for money. They are healthier. I realize that if this is true this is a catastrophe, really unethical thing that should be prohibited. But how? And have they really played with my chromosomes and... Trish? Got an embryo that was implanted to some girl needing for money, raised by who? I feel shivers going up and down my spine when I realize that there truly can be my child somewhere. Trish child, something left from her. I need to know, I really need some answers. I cannot eat any more cake, I'm just playing with it.

"Was there something else you wanted to talk with me?" I finally ask from Caleb. He shrugs, hesitates a while. "I just wanted to meet you, to see you after all these years. You know, I still miss Beatrice sometimes..." I look to him and snort "don't you think that I miss Tris every single day?" I reply and wonder if he is starting a competition about who misses the most... "and my wife is waiting to see you so if you are free for lunch..." he has continued. "Oh yes, I think that I'm free. Will your intern come also?" Suddenly I'm eager to see Alexa again and maybe talk with her. "No, my wife... I think it's better that Alexa doesn't come". Caleb says and blushes. I look at him and suddenly realize that there must bee something between Caleb and his intern and his wife doesn't like that – well who would? I smirk "you can tell to me, I won't tell to your wife... are you having... you know... some fun?" Caleb looks really angry "no, she was just rubbing my shoulders when my wife got in and she didn't like that. I would never cheat my wife!" I bet that he wouldn't, he was so... stiff.

Because it's still too early for lunch we chat a bit more, just about what has happened here in Chicago in last years. We talk about people we both know. I tell about Amar and George having soon three kids and by looks on his face I can say that Caleb is a little uneasy about that. I didn't know that he had something against them. And from time to time her says something about Beatrice, how she liked something and what they did when they were kids. I have different memories about Trish that I cherish and I don't want to share those with anyone. If ever I'm going to share those memories it wouldn't be with Caleb, not even he was the second last man on Earth.

Finally we run out of topics to discuss but luckily it's time for a lunch. We leave Caleb's office and he excuses himself, says that he needs to was his hands before. I walk in corridor and see another door open, next to Caleb's office. Alexa is working there, she has put glasses on and she is reading something, making notes at same time. Somehow she looks very attractive like that, a curl has escaped from bun and she is twisting and curling by her free hand, then she tugs it behind her ear. She bites the top end of her pen and wow... seeing her pink lips and... Phew! Then she looks up and sees me, blushing. "Excuse me, didn't mean to interrupt you, but we are leaving for lunch so..." I don't know how to continue. She smiles and stands up, drops pen to her table. "It was nice to see you here, mr Eaton and let me say, all the best for you and your campaign, may the best man win.". I look her straight in her eyes, blue-gray beautiful eyes. But where I have seen eyes like hers before? All I can remember that those eyes were colder and... Nope, cannot figure that out.

"Did you like the cake, mr Eaton?" she asks and I wonder why she is so polite with me, it makes me feel old! "It was almost the best chocolate cake that I have eaten" I say honestly and continue "best cake was the Dauntless Choco cake, there is no winner to that.". She smiles and by her looks I know she knows really well what I mean "yes, that cake was a piece of heaven, it was my favorite also.". I wonder how she would know that, she's so young and by her looks she has been raised up as an Erudite before wars and faction she probably would have bead chosen, an Erudite. "How old are you and how do you know about the Dauntless Choco cake? If you don't mind me asking... And please, don't call me mr Eaton, it makes me look over my shoulder and I'm expecting to see my dad. He is mr Eaton, I'm Four." I have to ask from Alexa and she smiles "I know very well who you are, Four. I'm just had my 24th birthday and I think everyone of my age knows that cake. I remember eating that as a child when my brother got that to me, he stole that from Dauntless." she replies and then I know where I have seen similar eyes. Eric. Could he be her brother? Before I have time to ask Caleb comes and we leave, by the door I look over my shoulder and see Alexa just standing there by her office door, looking after me, with a little smile. She blushes again when our gazes meet. I smirk and she backs to her office. I chuckle when we walk out, there truly is something in Alexa. Caleb comments about weather and I agree. When we are out I ask from Caleb "What you know about your intern, she seems to be very polite girl?". Caleb looks to me, shrugs. "Well, she is 24 and her real name is Erica Matthews. He has studied at University of Chicago, her major was civil law and politics. And that's almost everything." I nod "she said that she has a brother." I reply and Caleb corrects me "she had a brother and he was executed during Purity Wars. Alexa doesn't speak about herself, but she is really doing great work, she is very ambitious and she is heading high, mark my words." Now I'm sure that Eric was her brother, but Eric wasn't Matthews or was he? Had he taken her mothers last name just to hide his background?

We walk short way to restaurants and then Caleb points to central square. "And there she is, waiting for us" he smiles and I look where he points. There is only two woman standing and I know them both. The is Cara chatting with Christina. When she sees us she smiles "so nice to see you Four" . "You too Cara, what are you doing here?" I reply and she looks to Caleb. I look from her to Caleb and back "no way, don't tell you are his wife" I say to Cara and Christina laughs "I told you he was going to say that! But sorry, I have to run now... Later!". She runs away and we are left there standing. Then Caleb puts his hand around Cara's waist "so here is my beautiful and smart wife, mrs Caleb Prior..." Cara strikes his abdomen with her elbow and he corrects "... I mean... mrs Cara Prior and of course you know Four, I mean Tobias Eaton. ". She reaches out and kisses my cheek. "it truly is nice to see you but please close your mouth, it's not so big surprise, it cannot be! How it's possible that no-one have told to you that we are married, for example our friend Christina always blabbers things she shouldn't." We laugh. "You really surprised me" I reply.

By lunch I look again and again to Cara. She is smiling, being very polite and so is Caleb. Something is still not right between them, smiles are not meeting their eyes and everything is not so sweet than they pretend it to be. They are too polite to each other. After a long lunch Caleb rises and tells that he has to get back to work for few hours, it's his last working day. I stand up and we shake hands "it was nice meeting you, we see on Monday's meeting at City Council" I say. For a short time he looks to Cara, as if going to say something, but then leaves without a word. When he leaves I sit back down, next to Cara. "Let's get another cups of coffee and you can tell me what is really going on." Cara sighs. "Where would I begun?". I look to her, worried that everything isn't all right. "Try from the beginning... what happened after I moved to Providence? How you got together with Caleb? Are you happy?" She doesn't look happy.

Cara looks away and clears her throat "well, I was going out with Matthew and he proposed. We got engaged but then Caleb heard about engagement and he said that I should stay within our research program and Matthew was trying to get me transfered to some research program he was starting. He still works for Bureau of Genetic Welfare, you know? He is now a leader, back then he was in charge of research team. I spend more and more time with Caleb and was taken by his passion to work, his knowledge - we had really long discussions. And he had always time to listen me and my ideas and we spend long days and nights at laboratory, working side by side. Then there was this huge power failure one morning when I was going to work with Caleb. We got stuck in elevator over 4 hours. That was the first time we kissed and he confessed that he loved me, had loved for a long time. Day after that I returned the engagement ring to Matthew. One month after I..."

She blushes "well I found out that I was pregnant and Caleb did what he tough was the right thing. He was from Abnegation and it showed, he is so old fashioned sometimes, a stiff.. I don't know why I said yes. We were married in haste and Allen was born 8 months after, two weeks after his due date. And now we have also Beata who is 6 months, Allen is 3 years and 2 months." A short moment she looks sad, then she smiles to me. I smile to her "so Caleb has two kids and Tris would be an aunt if..." I stop, cannot let myself think longer about that, Tris as an aunt or as a mother. Something I nearly miss is visible in Cara's eyes and then I ask "or is it so?". Cara blushes "I'm pretty sure about Allen that he is Caleb's son but Beata is not his daughter. Please, don't ever tell to Caleb, that would kill him. I don't know why I did it but... I wanted another child." her voice trails off. I can see that she isn't telling everything, like who is Beata's dad, but I don't need to know, I think. I'm honored by Cara's confession. I know it wasn't easy for her to tell but she needs someone she can trust so she can open up. Who would be better than me?

"And then, tell me about Christina and Zeke? Are they truly a match, dating or something like that?" Cara hesitates a while, like she doesn't want to gossip about her best friend but then she remembers that Zeke is my best friend. "It's not my thing to tell, you have to ask from Christina or from Zeke. All I can say that I think they are just friends with benefits, I think that Zeke really loves Shauna but she is thinking that she cannot be loved because she cannot have children. She pushes Zeke away, keeps him only as a friend, not wanting to date or fall in love with him and Christina offers something Zeke needs." I shake my head, I don't want to believe it's like that. "I should talk to Zeke, and to Christina" I say and sigh, more and more things to do when I'm here.

Then Cara looks her watch " oh, I must run, my children needs me, the babysitter cannot stay much more and I have to prepare dinner for Caleb, he will be home in few hours. As you know we will not come to dinner party, Caleb is your opponent and that party is for you. It's been nice talking to you, we must meet again before you go back to Providence. And for your information only, I will vote for you..." She blinks her eye and storms away from restaurant. I pay the bill and leave, there will be over three hours before my next meeting, a dinner party with some City Council members.

I go to hotel, relax and think, write some emails, make some calls. Finally I call to my mother and ask if she is willing to see me on Sunday, if she can make me a dinner then. Nothing fancy, She promised and asks if I know where to come. "I haven't forgotten that house, that's my house you know. I own it" I reply but she just answers "But you never come over here so it's like you have forgotten.". I sigh. "And please, bring some girl with you, you are way too old to be single anymore. I know, I know, You miss your lost love, blaablaablaa, but Tobias, man in your position cannot be trusted if he is a lone wolf. Man in your position needs a wife to look after his needs, to support him." Same old story. "Just like you did with Marcus, mother?" I ask but don't wait for her comments anymore so I hang up. Bring someone? Who? No way! I don't want her to any more ideas in her head.

I knock to Johanna's door when it's time to leave to dinner party, she comes with me. Johanna knows everyone, she has worked long with them and I know most of City Council members that are invited. Caleb is not there, nor is Cara and I notice that some else are also missing. Johanna is introducing to everyone, doing a really great job, letting them to know that I have her full support. After a long dinner we end up to hotel bar, me, Johanna and few City Council member with spouses. I think I'm youngest in that group.I drink just one whiskey and chat with them, toss some ideas around. It's over 11 pm when I get back to my room and go to shower. I yawn, it's been a long day. When I'm brushing my teeth I hear a quiet knock from my door. I crab a towel an tie it around my hips before I open the door. There stands a girl wearing blue jeans and white t-shirt with light pink suede jacket, her beautiful hair open and circling her face. She looks me from head to toe, and I can see that she likes what she sees. She smirks, then blushes, then smirks again.

"Hi Four, can I come in?" she asks and I let her pass me. I wonder what is in her mind. I back to toilet to think, quickly rinse my teeth, look that my face is okay and secure the towel. I have no other choice than to wear that. All my clothes are in room, as well as the girl so I cannot dress up. She is standing by the window, looking out and something in her body position reminds me of that photo I got about pregnant girl. She is petite but more muscular than the girl in photo and I sense same feeling that I got from photo, loneliness. Her hair is same color. She sees my reflection from window and turns, finally raises her gaze to meet my eyes. She hands me a photo of a 5 years old girl and says "I think we need to talk about this, what Bureau did to us". I nod. "I'm all ears, Alexa" I reply.


	8. Caleb's pov 4

Savanah Rose and Dr Odyssey ;-) Alexa is a very ambitious girl (using all means possible to reach her goals) but there is a reason for that and don't worry, Four haven't done anything wrong. I guess that Caleb and Four has a common enemy...

oOoOoOo

\- Caleb pov -

It's raining at evening when I head to home. I have a box full of papers, it was the last working day at office, perhaps the very last day. If I get elected then it will be bigger pictures, no more Chicago. But what if I lose? Then it will be up to voters if I can continue at City Councils but if not then... I haven't emptied my office fully jet, I have two months to do that.

First thing that I notice at home is that there is very silent in there. The lights are dimmed and there is some music on background. Then I smell it, those awesome scents of good homemade dinner; roasted beef, smashed potatoes, wine... I'm curious, what's going on? Our dining room table is set for two, all kids stuff have been taken away. I go to my office and drop my box there, then head back to kitchen. At first I see only Cara. She is there, giving last finishing touches to our dinner. She has a glass of wine on other hand, her hair is tight up in pretty hairdo, she is wearing a pretty dress. I hear a low male voice and she laughs and then I see that she is not alone. Matthew is standing there, having also a glass of wine. "Hello" I say, trying to be polite. Cara comes to me, her eyes sparkling. "Hello darling!" she says, gives a kiss to my cheek. "Here, have a glass of wine and you two, go to living room or somewhere else, I need to prepare this meal and Matthew wanted to talk with you Caleb." I look from Cara to Matthew and back. "Where are the kids?" I ask and Cara looks to me "don't you remember? I told to you that my mom is taking them for weekend." I really don't remember, first time that I hear this.

We go to living room and Matthew sits down. Seeing him sitting there reminds me of that day when I saw him kissing my wife on same sofa. I want to punch his face. I sit down to armchair, sip some wine. "So, you wanted to talk with me." Matthew nods "Yes, I'm trying to persuade you to let Cara go, I mean I really need her skills in my research project and she really needs something else than just this stay-at-home-mommy thing.". I nod "Yes, she is really smart woman and I'm not against her working at part time, but I think that she can have a better work than in Bureau, no offense. She used to work for Department of Agriculture with me, we were colleges there over three years – that's how our story begun. If I remember correctly she has a vacancy there waiting for her return." Matthew looks to me, I see pity in his eyes "But she doesn't want to go there, she's really interested in genomes, DNA, in vitro fertilization... all that I can offer to her. What you can offer to her?". I drink more wine "as I said I'm not against her working at part time. But then there is this thing that we probably have to move after two months." He shakes his head "no, you are not going in Government. You are staying here and continue your work here like a busy little mouse. All you can do is free Cara, if not for full day work then at least for part time. Her mother is willing to take care of your kids three days per week, the Bureau is paying for daycare to her and then your son Allen has that science-daycare thing twice a week. You have no reasons to hold her back, more tighter you hold, more she will fight. She really wants this, no matter what you do or say." He raises up and I have to control my every nerve. How dares he to come here and lecture to me what my wife wants and needs!

Matthew takes his empty wineglass to kitchen and then says from doorway "Remember Caleb, you don't own her and more tighter you try to keep her home faster she will run away. She is not yours, never were. She belongs to... science.". For a brief moment I was sure that he meant that my wife was truly his. Luckily he leaves and I drink my glass empty before standing up. I feel little dizzy in my head, I'm not used to drink alcohol and my stomach is empty.

Cara arranges food to table, lights up candles. "Caleb, the dinner is ready" she says and I sit to table, looking to Cara. "Thank you" I reply and take some more wine. We eat in total silence, no need to talk. I think that I eat and drink more than I need but food is really tasty, so is the wine. After dinner Cara clears dishes and asks if we could sit down in living room for a while. That's okay to me. This time I choose to sit on sofa and Cara sits next to me, rests her head to my shoulder. "It's so quiet here when kids are not at home" I say and she nods. "When was the last time we spend a evening like this?" she asks and I cannot remember "too long ago, I think, if ever." I reply. We sat in silence, then she asks "Do you still love me?" and I smile "yes, I do, I still love you.". She turns her head, looks to me "Why?" she asks "why you love me?"

What can I answer? "Well, I love you because you are... you." She's looking to me, waiting for some more. "You know, it's not so easy for me to talk about feelings..." I say. She looks sad "I know, and it bothers me sometimes. It's like you said it once and that's it, now it's said, no need to say it anymore.". I get little angry "well that's how I was raised, my father and mother never sat like this, never put us kids in daycare or asked if someone else could look after us. I never heard them saying love you nor did I saw them kissing, I can't remember ever seeing them more than holding hands or very brief hugs, I never saw them sleeping in same bed. I know that they slept in same bed, I never saw it. They said thank you and were really polite. I know that they loved each other, they looked each other that way, love in their eyes and that was enough. I and Beatrice was raised that way, we were taken care. I feel guilty about loving you and saying it out aloud, more and more I want to show it through my actions. I want to make your life easy, I want to give everything to you, I bring money, I bring flowers, I thank you for the work you do here, at home. I'm not perfect husband but I love you and even if I don't say it let me show it by taking care of you and kids.".

She looks away. "I was raised in different kind of family. My mother worked and it was not just part time or some charity work. She had brains you know, so do I. My mother and father argued sometimes, they were independent, strong and they always said out aloud how proud they are about something we did, how much they loved us and also they scolded us when I and Will did something stupid. They had always time to listen us, to help us to do homeworks, they got new books to us and they opened the whole world to us. They said that we can be anything, we can do anything and always we will be their children. They were shocked when Will transferred to Dauntless, but they supported his choice and were happy – Will did what he wanted to do. So therefore I need you to say it and I need also room to breath. I don't need you to do everything for my behalf, I have brains and I can use those. I need to do something else also, I need to be independent. And it doesn't affect on that what I feel for you. This affects, when I feel like I'm a prisoner at home, when I have nothing more to do than feed kids, read some stupid kids books, change diapers or do potty training and a highlight of the day is that time I get to choose in supermarket should I buy rice or potatoes for dinner and what shall we eat tomorrow. When you get home you are tired, you seldom tell about your day, what have you done, who did you meet. You meet adults, speak with them, you have power to change things, you can do things I cannot. You can eat your meals in one seating, when they are warm. You can go to toilet without that is the end of the world nor you have company there. And you expect that I want to be at home, I do this willingly, and wait for your return just to see you eat something and then go to bed, kissing my cheek for good night.". I looked her, her head was turned away. I saw her slender neck, her collarbones were showing through open neckline of her dress. I wanted to place a kiss there but I didn't know should I. Well, kids wasn't here and it's not illegal to kiss your wife. But I couldn't.

"I'm sorry, it's just so hard for me" I say and she sighs "It's hard for me too.". "I know... I'm not stupid even when I act like one. And if it helps we can try out how it will turn if you work half time. And as I have said before we can get any help to home you want, you don't have to do everything yourself. Kids will grow up fast, they don't need you forever but I need you, I need that girl I fell in love years ago." she looks to me "but I'm not that girl anymore, I'm a woman now. All I wish for you that you let that self-control go and just... live... be a man, not a Stiff." she looks away, tries to stand up. I tie my hands around her slender body, pull her near me. I feel her heat, her heartbeat, her breathing. "You must teach me" I whisper and kiss her collarbone, then her earlobe. She squeak, then laughs. "That's a start" she says with husky voice and bends her neck so I can kiss her jawline, nibble her ear. Then she turns and kisses me to mouth, a long, passionate kiss. "I need to make you drink more often few glasses of wine." she says when I return to her kiss. For a little time I feel uncertain, I'm not sure what to do next. I feel that she is smiling and she whispers "take me to bedroom, stiff" and I tickle her, just to hear her giggling. "I'll show you what is..." and she laughs more. "just say it, stiff!". I smirk"...stiff."

Sunday evening comes too soon, so does my mother-in-law with kids. Beata had missed us most, Allen just was happy, spending time with granny had been the best time he could imagine. No wonder, I bet he had more treats and sugar than needed... Cara tells her news to her mother, we have agreed that if I don't get elected to Government she can start to work 15 to 20 hours per week, on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. If I don't get elected then I will have City Council meetings on Thursdays and on Fridays we have agreed that we start dating again. Not every week, once in month, just spend a evening and night together. If I get elected to Government then I have promised that we will search some work in Providence that Cara can do, part time there.

All that I hope that this way I can get some inside information from the Bureau and their work, some information that hopefully helps us to close it down.


	9. Four's pov 5 part 1

\- Tobias pov -

I look to Alexa, straight in her eyes and she turns around. "Alexa, I'm tired, I don't want any games. Just tell what you have to tell me and then go. If you are just standing there and not saying anything then why did you come at all?" I can see that she is looking at me from reflection and get little annoyed. "Alexa..." I say, with a clear warning in my voice. She cannot ignore that. She turns again, now looking directly to me and snaps "Don't you tell me what to do, don't you dare to boss me around. You have done so much harm to me already.". I cross my hands over my body and tilt my head. "And how is that?" I ask and she turns again around "just... please... put some clothes on, I cannot concentrate when you are standing there wearing only a towel... and maybe this is not the best place to talk about this, you know..." She is about to run away but I stop her, grab her hand in mine. "You came here to talk, so don't even think to run away with some lame excuse... I put some clothes on and then we go out and take a little walk and you can tell what is in your mind, OKAY?" She cannot meet my eyes, but she nods. I grab my clothes; t-shirt, jeans and underwear, all black and head to toilet. I leave door open so I will hear if she is escaping again but no sound comes from room. When I'm ready, and it doesn't take more than few minutes, I come back to room, just to find out that Alexa has sat down and is crying, silent tears fall down on her pretty face. I feel bad for a moment but then I harden myself.

"Okay, lets go" I say, take my leather jacket and make sure that I have the key for room with me. Alexa follows me silently. Sky is dark, no moon or stars visible. We walk in unison to nearby Millenium Park. It's night time, so there is no one else here. "Now, tell me. Tell me about the photo and who you really are, Alexa" I say. She walks 10 seconds in silence and then starts, just when I'm going to snap again. "My real name is Erica Alexandra Matthews, I'm a daughter of James and Tina Matthews, my brother was Eric Matthews and my aunt was Jeanine Matthews. I was grown here in Chicago until the War. My mother died and so did my aunt and brother during the war. I was 14 then and my father took me to Milwaukee, just to save me and himself. I didn't want to live there and got back here when I was 16. My father disapproved my choice but he didn't have any real options other than let me go. So he arranged that I could finish my high school here." Then she fells in silence again, stops and looks away for a long time.

I stop opposite to her, cross my arms and wait. She is fighting against her inner demons and she is gathering her guts to continue. "I... well I met this guy at in High school. He was the leader of our football team, handsome and nice to me. He was a perfect man or so I tough and I fell for him instantly. Then there was that accident. He broke both his legs and had to use really strong painkillers too long, he got addicted to those. And he..." she pauses again "... he got in big troubles. He needed more and more money, more and more painkillers and he couldn't work. He asked my help and promised everything. I said no, repeatedly. Then one day he got beaten rally badly and he was near dying, begging me to help him out. I don't know why I did that but I had heard that there was this Welfare Center which helped young girls that were in need of money. I went there, it wasn't easy to find the real address, and said that I will do anything needed for money. They arranged all paperwork, Mat got his money, MY money and they explained what they want me to do. It took over 3 years until I met Mat again." She sighs. "Luckily Mat used money well, he paid his debts and started a new life in Providence. He is now my personal trainer and we meet as often as we can. As friends that is. He is married now, has one child and another coming." There is a sad look on her face. I can see that this is hard for her, hard to open up. For a brief moment I pity her but she has brought this up herself.

"How old were you then?" I ask. She thinks a while "I was 16 years old when I met Mat and we started dating, 17 when he got injured and then I had just turned 18 when I went to Welfare Center. They said that I'm at perfect age but they weren't sure was I in perfect fit." I know the answer but I have to ask "You were at perfect age for what?". She hesitates a while and then replies "to sell my body for their needs.". I lift my eyebrows and she looks up to me. "They wanted me to carry a baby for Bureaus Genetic inheritance research team." I nod, so it's all true.

"They explained that all I need to do is carry a baby to full term, go through a labor and then the baby would be adopted. At first I was so naive that I didn't understand all consequences, I tough it would be easy case, about 9 to 10 months work and Mat's and my future were saved. It didn't happen so. They were using some new technique and it took over four months before there were a positive blood test. That was a big relief, but then I got really sick, I was vomiting 24/7. My body fought against the embryo. Next four months I spend in hospital and just when I got better my father was there, angry. Shouting to me, scolding me. He had got worried because it had been over 6 months since I had made last call to him, he had heard some rumors. He had done hard work to find me but I couldn't leave the Center then, I was too weak, too much pregnant, too vulnerable." She sighs again, gets a tissue from her jeans pocket and wipes her eyes.

"I lived there, at Welfare Center, whole pregnancy and went in labor after a full term pregnancy. The delivery went horribly wrong and they had to do a emergency c-section. I cannot have any more children, my first baby is my only baby and it's not mine and I'm no longer a woman... I had to go through lots of therapy after that. When I was physically healed I left the Center and moved to my late aunts apartment, started my studies at university, searched Mat, started training for triathlons. But no matter how fast I run, no matter how long I swim, no matter where I cycle, no matter what I do, the pain fallows me."

I nod and say "tell me about it. I miss my first girlfriend, my only love. It's been over 10 years since she died and still..." I shake my head "there can never be someone like her". She looks to me "No, there cannot be anyone just like her." She emphases last three words and smiles "it took me over two years in therapy to understand that. It's never the same and you will only do harm to everyone if you try to compare, if you try to find something that is just like what you have lost. There are things that are very unique. They cannot be replaced, that why they are so special. ".

She looks down, then back to me "You cannot remember this but we met when you and Eric were initiatives. Eric was my idol, big, strong brother that always helped me when I was in trouble and I was in trouble a lot. I hated you because Eric hated you. Then somehow you became my first crush, I dreamed about you, I was planning to transfer to Dauntless so you would be my instructor... Then was the war, two years before my choosing ceremony. I lost connection to Eric and at same time any connection to you. When I heard that Eric was dead all I hoped that you were still alive but then I heard that it was you that executed him... I wanted to kill you. I didn't understood why you had to shoot him, not then I mean. I have read history, I have studied law and now I don't blame you, he got what he deserved. " I snort, trying to imagine her trying to kill me. Nope, cannot imagine, no chance.

We start walking again, at low pace. "Do you know anything about the baby that you carried or what happened to baby after delivery?" I ask. "My father got his lawyers against the Bureau. He got information that I would never have gotten. I was a surrogate for a baby girl and her father was... I mean that she was made by using your chromosomes, Four. That was a huge shock to me, after first hating you, then having a crush to you, then wanting to kill you... Talk about irony... of course it had to be you". She fells in silence, stops again, turns her head away from me and closes her eyes. Hearing her to say that hurts really bad inside me, it tears something in my heart. I had so hoped that rumors were just a hoax. I haven't given any permission to Bureau to use my samples in anything, they haven't even asked. At same time I have known that there cannot be smoke without flames, so I was ready to hear what she said. From all girls the Bureau could have used they had used her to carry my child. Really, talk about irony!

"So it's true" I say finally "I heard rumors that Bureau does something like this and it's really disgusting. It's more than that, it's really unethical. It's a shame, it's... " I step closer to her and touch her cheek, wipe away one tear. "I'm sorry, they shouldn't have done that to you, you shouldn't have been forced in something like that. I don't wonder if you hate me." I say and I truly am sorry, it's not her fault. She rests her head against my hand, her eyes are closed and she shudders. I hug her tight, caress her back and she is crying. It touches something deep inside my heart. She haven't done anything to deserve this.

"So you are the mother then?" I continue after a long silence, a statement and a question in same sentence. That is The Question I need an answer, bad. And at same time I'm somehow afraid to hear the answer. She opens her eyes and looks up to mine "no, I'm not, I'm just a surrogate." She takes a long breath and then whispers "Beatrice Prior was the donator to other half of chromosomes. They said that you two were a perfect match and all embryos made with your chromosomes were Pure."

Pain hits me, shocking pain goes through my heart. I drop down to my knees, tears come out my eyes. I press my hands against my heart hard, sober "Tris" in quiet voice. Pain hits me hard again. This was something that I had half hoped, half feared. I haven't lost Tris after all, part of her had survived, part of her was still alive. We had been a perfect couple, perfect match in all means. Then it hits me, what she had said about irony. Eric's little sister had saved a small part of Tris and had carried a child to me.

"Do you know where my daughter is?" I ask and she hesitates before she nods. "My father paid really big money to original adoption parents and to Bureau to get those adoption papers undone. She lives in a safe place, with a really nice family and I see as often as I can." I glare to her "Where?". It's obvious that she doesn't want to tell. "She is living in Milwaukee." She finally says.

I need to go there, as soon as possible. I need to see my daughter! She looks to me and shakes her head. "It's not that easy but I can arrange a meeting. Foster parents are coming here on Sunday, technically tomorrow, and they are bringing her with them. So you can meet her but under a supervision and you must not tell them that you are her biological father. She believes that her foster parents are her true parents and I'm her godmother." and before I ask "and I'm not giving you any information about them, their names nor address. She belongs to them now."

I shake my head. No, she belongs to me and Tris.


	10. Four's pov 5 part 2

**Dr. Odysse** y and **Savanah Rose** : thanks again! And I think Tobias is acting like he is just because he wants to shelter himself, but he has to use his full name Tobias Eaton so he can be more convincing in his career as an politician. And I continue his side little more, last night I got tired before I had finished his part...

oOoOoOoOoO

\- Tobias pov -

We walk in silence and it starts to rain heavy. Water is pouring down from sky in big drops and we run. It's a short run to hotel where I'm staying but when we get to lobby we are soaked. "How did you get here, do you live near or do you have a ride or something?" I ask from Alexa. "No, I live in quite far away. I was spending time with my friends and we got some drinks at this hotel bar. Then I saw you coming there and got an idea to come over and talk, I have wanted to talk with you in private but at same time I have been too afraid to contact you. First you had company so I couldn't come over to talk and then you left so I followed you. When I got from elevator I saw you enter to this room, some detective work, I think. I heard that you went to shower so I had to wait before I knocked to door and realized at same moment what I was doing. I nearly run away. And it's so late now that I cannot go to my friends and all buses have gone and..." She looks worried, sighs "well, I just have to walk to home, it takes about an hour or so".

I look out, see the rain just getting heavier and heavier. She is already soaking wet, wearing high heeled boots. No, gentleman in me refuses to let her go. "you can come upstairs and spend the rest night with me" I offer and she looks to me like she cannot believe what she hears. "I don't mean it like that, I give a gentleman's word... Look, I'm not interested in having sex with you nor going to rape you or interested in killing you. I just can't let you walk in that rain, you'll get a pneumonia at least. You are safe with me, I promise." She hesitates for a while, then smiles "Okay, thanks".

When we get to my room I get dry clothes from my bag and give a t-shirt to her. "You can wear this, you need something dry to wear. Leave your wet clothes there to dry. And take a warm shower first!" She rushes to toilet and I hear the shower go on. I change my clothes to dry ones and go to bed, just leave lights on bedside tables on. Lucky for us that I have king size bed with separate blankets. Then I see her standing there on the toilets doorway. Light behind her back is making my t-shirt, oversized for her, little transparent. I have to look away before I will forget what I said in the lobby, about not wanting her. I cannot understand why she mixes my hormones. She isn't my type of girl. She turns off the light and I can hear her quick footsteps, then feel how she gets to bed.

I turn off light from my side, she from her side and we are in a total darkness. I hear raindrops beating windowsill. I hear her breathing, I feel that she turns around, heading to me. "Tell me about my daughter." I ask and I can sense that she smiles. "Her name is Kiara. She has blond hair, similar eyes than you have. She is quite tall and very smart. She loves all funny things, she is good in sports, loves to run and climb. I think that she's most brave little girl I have ever known. She never shows if she fears something, she is looking everything with keen interest. It's like fear only make her more alive, more active, more... present." I smile. "I can't wait till I meet her" I say.

I haven't slept with anyone since Tris died and I have feared I never will. She is silent but I can feel her, sense her presence with every nerve of my body. Before this I haven't realized how big and empty my bed has been, how cold. Alexa being here feels just like a normal thing, like she had been here before, like we had done this thousand times. I have been alone so long that I need some company I think, someone to be with, someone to love. Maybe Alexa isn't the one for me but she had helped me to realize that my life have to go on. And now I know how; I have a daughter that I have to find, I have a daughter to love. With Alexa I can meet her and I won't stop it there, I want to be her dad, Kiara's dad. Kiara Eaton. I smile in dark. I wonder if I can give some name to her myself, would it be Natalie or Beatrice, which one would Tris have liked. I think Natalie is better...

"Tell me about her foster parents." Now she hesitates a while before answering with sleepy voice "they are my fathers friends, educated people. They couldn't have children of their own so they were searching other options. They are just foster parents, they haven't adopted her, I haven't let that happen. I'm her mother in papers, even I'm not the biological mother. It's kind of complicated... I don't know what my father has told about her origins to foster parents, they must think that I'm the biological mother and a slut." She sounds bitter somehow. "Well, if it helps, I don't think that you are. You made just a wrong choice. Why didn't you get money elsewhere? Did you ask from your father or if you had your aunts apartment, you could have sold that." I'm wondering and she sighs "I tried everything else first and my father refused to help and because I was only 17 years then I couldn't sell anything I owned, I turned 18 one week before I entered to Welfare Center and it was the last chance, believe me. Mat didn't have much time left then to pay, they would have killed him for sure.". It makes sense, I think and then ask "did Mat pay back to you?". She snorts "no, he is paying but it will take time, they don't pay so much to personal trainers. He owns me really much still, he is paying as much as he cans and then he trains me for free, or he trained. Haven't seen him since Market Day". She yawns and stretches. We fell in silence and just when I'm falling to sleep I feel her turn around and snuggle closer to me. It feels good, like we had done that million times before. I wrap my hand around her and feel how she breathes, deep breaths in and out, at slow pace. I fell in dream quite fast.

 _I'm at home, dressed in white suit. I'm looking out from window like waiting for something or someone when I feel a really light tap on my shoulder. I turn around and see Tris in front of me. "Tris?" I whisper and she smiles, but there is sorrow in her eyes. "I cannot stay long" she says in husky voice "I just had to see you one last time. I'm happy for you and wish all the best for you and your wife. I'm glad that you have moved on and I know that you still love me, you always will. You need a wife to love and I'm so happy that you found one. She is a good mother to our children." She kisses me on corner of my mouth, not a real kiss, just a little peck. "I love you" she whisper and vanishes in thin air. I try to hold her but she is gone like she never were there..._

I wake up, raining has ended but it's still dark. It takes a while to realize that it was just a dream. I turn around, search a colder spot and drift away in sleep again.

 _I walk in field near Amity dome, there are sunflowers everywhere and kids run around, laughing. There is a woman, back towards to me, picking seeds from a flower and little girl is helping her. I come closer, hear their laughter and just watch them, smiling. Sun is shining, it's warm. Butterflies fly and little boy comes to me "daddy, daddy look this! It's a blow-up-flower!" I look the flower in his hand and it's a dandelion, a white fluffy ball of seeds. "No darling, it's a dandelion" I reply. Boy laughs "Kiara said that it's a blow-up-flower because you can blow it like this". He blows the seeds and they scatter all around. "Mum! Toby is doing that again, now there is dandelion seeds in my sunflower seeds" girl shouts. I lift boy, Toby, to my shoulders and walk closer. I wait for woman to turn and she must sense my gaze. She stands up, wipes seeds away from her apron and then turns around. I look straight in her eyes, her blue-gray eyes, Alexa's eyes. She smiles to me and tickles Toby's feet that hangs from my shoulder. "mum! Stop tickling! Daddy, help me!" he protests. I kiss Alexa, a long, passionate kiss and hear girls voice protest "Please, stop... mum and dad... please!"_

I remember that kiss when I wake up and my body remembers it. I wonder why I'm not shocked after kissing another woman than Tris, then I remember that it was just a dream. A good dream, not a nightmare. It's late in morning, sun is shining. Then I feel it, there is something warm next to my back and when I turn I can smell her hair, smell her. Roses, sandalwood, vanilla. She is sleeping in fetal position and she fits there, in my lap perfect. Or would fit if I weren't so... ahem... on to it how she feels and smells. I can feel that, even through blanket, she is soft in right places. I try to back up little before I do anything that I will regret but she snuggles closer. I put my hands in front of me, stop her coming closer and she turns around and open her eyes. We look each other in very close distance, she blinks. My place my upper hand on her hip. She smiles and whispers "Good morning" like shes afraid to break the silence.

Then it hits me. I want her. I want to kiss her, make everything better for her. I want to take care of her. I need her and it scares me.

I back up little more "do you have a boyfriend, a fiancé or someone you are dating or are you married?" I ask and she shakes her head. " No, I don't have, no boyfriend, fiancé or husband. I broke up with my...hmmm... boyfriend... over six months ago, just after Market Day triathlon. That was when he told that he is happy with his wife and they were expecting another baby. Before that he had told that they are going to divorce, he wanted a start all over with me..." she looks disgusted for a moment but then she looks back to my eyes "and then there is you, Four." She smiles. "You cannot imagine what it is like when your teenage daydreams come true. Back then I used to dream about you noticing me, talking to me, touching me, kissing me..." last two words are just a whisper. Her warm hand caress my cheek, she runs her finger over my lips. When I see her biting her lips I cannot hold back anymore. "Please, call me Tobias" I whisper.

And I kiss her, she kisses me, again and again and again, like there will be no tomorrow, like we couldn't live without this. My hands want to touch her body, I throw her blanket away and pull her closer, she laces her fingers to my short hair. My hands go up her back, under the t-shirt. I feel the softness of her skin, feel the muscles, her quickened heartbeat and breathing. And we kiss again, until my phone rings. I try to ignore it, this is more important now, who ever it's who is ringing there will be an answering machine. Ringing stops but starts again in few seconds. When it starts third time ringing there is a really loud knock on my door at same time and Johanna's voice shouting "Tobias, open up, I can hear your phone is there, so you must be in. This is important! Tobias Eaton!". "Wait a moment" I shout back and look to Alexa "don't go anywhere, I sort this out and be right back" I promise before I get up.

Luckily I have another pair of jeans packed, they are dry, those and socks, another pair of shoes, phone and jacket, it's only thing that is little wet but I can live with that. I look over my shoulder, Alexa is lying still there in middle of bed, she has hidden her face in pillow. Johanna knocks again and I open the door, preventing her to see inside. "Come with me, I slept too long and need coffee and something to eat." I say to her and of course she is trying her best to see what I'm hiding in my room. "Please, don't ask" I say to her and she can hear a warning in my voice and I bang the door shut. "Did you have someone there with you?" she asks and I glare to her. "Don't ask!" I emphasize first word and she smirks "so you did, good for you." We head to elevators and after a while she asks "someone that I know?". I don't answer, just look down to her and she snickers. "I know you Tobias and trust me when I say this: it's just good for you, it's not good to be alone.". "I said I don't want to talk about it" I say and she just smiles but doesn't continue.

When we get out from hotel I look around and see a cafeteria near. "I get a coffee from there and then you can tell what is so important." She nods and waits outside. I come back in few minutes and sip my coffee. "So, tell me". She looks around and tells "my contact called and they have found out a welfare center that shelters young girls that are pregnant. My contacts believe that those girls have made a contract with Bureau and they are surrogates. Youngest in that welfare center are just 14 to 15 years old." "Are we going there?" I ask and she nods. "We need some girls that are willing to tell their story to us and we can use those stories against the Bureau, to get it closed down." I shake my head "I believe that if we march in we will just scare them and Bureau will hide all evidence, so we will have only some girls sayings against a big company, who would you believe? A girl that needs money so desperately that she is willing to sell her body to a company or that company that blames they don't use any under aged surrogates and have all legal documents to prove that." Johanna stops there and looks around again "and my contact told that Bureau has really used your blood samples and isolated your chromosomes. So you can have one or more children, Tobias." I nod "so have I heard also" I say thinking about what I have heard from Alexa. "But still, I don't think that it would be wise to go the welfare center, for sure they will recognize us, my face is all over the city now and you have been our representative in Government over 10 years, they know who you are. If we could get someone to work for us, someone that can act like a nurse or something like that..." I think a while. "maybe Cara Prior could do that?" I suggest.

My phone rings, Amar is calling. Johanna looks to me and raises her hand "okay, lets leave it this time, if you think that is better. I just wanted to rescue those girls and shut down the Bureau immediately, but you are right. We need more evidence. And don't worry, I have contacts all over the city so I can get someone inside that welfare center also. If not Cara Prior and I wouldn't trust her, if I were you. She is married to your opponent, so why would she help us?" I think a while before answering "well, I think that this will take longer than a day or a week or a month, this is a long process that won't happen fast. We need strong, solid evidence from trusted source but now it's not time to act nor to decide something that important in haste." My phone is ringing again, now it's Zeke that is calling. "Sorry, I have to answer to this."

"Hi Zeke, what's up?" "Where have you been, Amar has tried to call to you multiple times but you don't answer?" Zeke sounds annoyed so it must be something really important. "Sorry, I have been busy. Whats up?" I reply but I'm not prepared to answer what I get. "Your home is on fire and your mother is in hospital. She has been stabbed, she is in critical condition and her friend is killed." "WHAT DID YOU SAY?"I refuse to understand what Zeke just said. "I said that your home is on fire and..." he starts and I interrupt "in what hospital?". I hear Zeke ask that from someone else before answering "she's in State hospitals ICU." "I'll go there, is everything under control with fire?". Johanna looks shocked to me, then starts to wave a taxi for us. "Fire was a small one, just little damage in kitchen, no need to worry about that.". "Thanks Zeke" I reply to to phone, put it back to my pocket and then look to Johanna. "It was about my mother, she is in hospital, in critical condition." Johanna takes my hand "I come with you and stay there as long as you need me."


	11. Four's pov 5 part 3

\- Tobias pov -

When we enter to hospital all noises and smells give me shivers. It takes time to find ICU and then to find some nurse just to find out that my mother is in an operation. No one can tell anything about her condition, they say that surgeon will meet afterwards and then we will know more. All we can do now is just sit and wait. Johanna leads me hospitals canteen "You need to eat something, you said it yourself that you were hungry after a busy night". I glare to her but cannot argue about the hunger part. I get a cup of coffee and some bread with ham and cheese. It looks soggy and tastes same, soggy. It doesn't matter. We sit down and when I'm just finishing my bread Amar rushes in, wearing his uniform. I stand up when he sees us and comes to us.

"How is she?" he asks and I have to reply "we don't know yet, she's in an operation." Then he looks me straight in my eyes "and why didn't you answer to your phone? I called to you 4 times..." I had tough it was Johanna that called and I didn't even check. "I was...mmm... busy doing something else" I reply and feel myself to blush when I remember what I was doing. "He had some company in his hotel room" Johanna explains and I quickly ask from Amar "Can you tell me what has happened? Zeke told that there was a fire and my mother was stabbed and her friend was killed". Amar nods and explains "your mother were having a late breakfast with Thomas and someone attacked then. There were no markings of forced entry and Thomas was found near the front door so maybe he was one that opened the door. Your mother were in kitchen and she started a small fire before passing out. That was why they got an alarm in fires station and went to see what was going on. They alarmed us and I tried alarm you. There was nothing anyone could do to save Thomas. But if you can let us know what ever happens, I must go now and write a rapport about this incidence. I sure hope that you mother survives and is able to give us some details about intruder." He rushes out from canteen and I look his back as long as I can see it. I'm not sure who Thomas is but I can bet that he was the man that made her happy, as she said herself. I had never met him, I will never meet.

"Let's go back to ICU" I suggest, it's better to wait there. I sit down on ICU's lobby, there is long sofas, soothing colors, something to read. From time after time some door opens, machines bleeps, nurses and doctors come and go. Then comes the surgeon, approaches us. She looks very young, about my age most. She is wearing blue clothes and white doctor jacket over them. "You are here for Evelyn Johnson?" she asks. "Yes we are" Johanna answers and looks to me, extends her hand and places it to my shoulder. "I'm her son" I say and surgeon nods. "Your mother is going to recover, she was stabbed 8 times to her back but none of those hits were in vital organs. Lots of bleeding of course but we can handle that. I think it's 4 to 6 days and she can come home. Stitches last about 10 days. But everything will be alright and you can go soon and see her. Nurse will come to get you." Johanna hugs me and sighs "Well that's a relief!"

I phone to Amar and give a brief status report. He reminds that I shouldn't talk anything about this case with my mother before Amar or some other police has talked with her, they want her to tell what she remembers herself. "And sorry that I didn't answer to your calls, it won't happen again." I promise to Amar. "Oh, it will" he replies and laughs "And it's just good, if that's the reason what Johanna told.". Why did everyone say that?

It's over a hour later when nurse finally comes, just when Johanna has excused herself for a while and gone somewhere. I follow the nurse and then I see my mother, after a long time. I haven't had time to see her, I saw her briefly over 8 months ago. She looks me long and hard before she smiles. "my handsome boy" she says in hoarse voice. Nurse hands a plastic cup with a straw "sip little from this, it helps. Your throat is still little swollen after the operation and tubing. But not too much, you will vomit if you drink too much too soon." Mother sips little, sneers and sips little more. "Thanks" she says, having little better voice. "10 minutes, 15 max" nurse tells to me before she leaves.

I sit down beside her bed and touch her hand. She lace her fingers with mine. "How do you feel?" I ask. She looks pale. "Not much, I mean I cannot feel much, must be the medication. Do you know what happened?" I nod "Yes I do but I think that we should not talk about it, police will talk with you when you are well enough to meet them." Mother is silent for a while. "I guess that Sunday dinner is canceled." she says finally. "I'll bring you something here, what ever you want and can eat." I promise. She falls in sleep and I just sit there, looking at her. Even when asleep she holds my hand, like trying to hold me near her. I feel bad for her and promise to myself that I will be better son after this, keep her closer. I think about Alexa and Kiara, I can imagine how happy my mother will be when she finds out that I have a daughter and she is a granny.

Nurse comes and just points the clock and I''m shocked, it's almost 5 pm. We go to lobby and I ask when I can come to see my mother next time. "Tomorrow" she says and when she sees that I'm about to protest she continues "We are starting our evening rituals and then our patients needs a lot of rest and so do you. Trust us, we know what we do. Of course we will call to you if anything happens and your mother needs you here, just leave your phone number." She hands me pen and paper but I reach to my pocket and give a business card to her. "You can call any time if my mother needs me" and she nods "any time... and the visiting time starts at 11 am tomorrow." I nod and nurse continues to do her work with patients. Johanna haven't returned to ICU and I'm tired and hungry. It has been a long day and then I remember Alexa. I just left her in my hotel room and promised to be right back, it's been almost 6 hours. She must be angry! I have to take her out for a nice dinner I think.

I don't see Johanna anywhere in ICU but when I step out from the hospital she is there, talking on phone. She sees me, smiles and waves her hand "... and you can have how many?...okay, and we need all data we can have also. Just copy it to some trust worthy source... and... be careful! More you get information the better but don't risk anything." She smiles to me. "As I said, I have contacts all over the city. Some of old Amity members work as nurses and after few phone calls I have found out which agency they use in that Welfare Center. It's simple, I will soon have few trusted friends inside there and I can get all information I want. I hope we can get as many girls as possible to talk and tell their story for us and under an oath. More evidence is better." She has made her mind and I agree that the Bureaus operations must be stopped.

We take a bus this time and get to Millennium park, near to our hotel. In front of hotel is parked a silver shaded car with dark windows on back. When we approach hotel entry the car door opens and a man in dark blue suit steps out. He comes to me. "Tobias Eaton?" he asks. I nod and wonder who he is. He is in his 50s, dark hair, cold eyes. He reminds to me so much about Eric, without tattoos and piercings, only 20 years or bit more older. Then I get it, he must be James Matthews.

He stands in front of me, over two inches shorter than me, gazes me straight in my eyes "I say this only once, stay away from my daughter or else I don't take the consequences of my actions." he snaps. I raise my eyebrows and cross my hands in front of me. "Are you threatening me, mr...?". He snorts "of course I'm not threatening, I'm just saying. Stay away from my daughter, she has suffered enough because of you.". I start to get angry, I don't like his attitude and the way he says thing reminds so much Eric that it gives me shivers. "It's not your business what I do with your daughter, you should have helped her at first place so she wouldn't have gone through all that made her suffer. YOU are the reason for her torment, not me. I would do anything to help my child." He raises his index finger and comes really close to me. I don't even flinch. "You know nothing about what I did for her after you had destroyed everything. It's your fault that my son, my wife and my sister have died and my daughter is a mess. Just stay away from her or I destroy your reputation and your whole career before it starts." I smirk and reply just "You said it three times...". James looks puzzled, then realizes. He looks like he's gonna slap my face or something.

Johanna pushes herself in the middle of our argument. "Now, gentleman, this is not a right place nor the right time for this. Please behave." James looks to Johanna and nods "Mrs Reyes. Try to teach some manners to this little brat." he says and gets back to his car. Johanna turns to me and scolds me "Didn't you know who that was! He was James Matthews, that big financier from Milwaukee and he is one of their candidates for Government this year. What was that about his daughter... oh, you would not... Tobias!" she shakes her head. "Of all women in this town it had to be James Matthews daughter that ends in same bed with you! Where did you found her? I tough they lived in Milwaukeee... ". She makes a funny noise and I'm not sure if she is laughing or what. "I wasn't in bed with her... in that meaning. We shared my bed, yes but all we did was that we slept. I can tell you a secret but you mustn't tell this to anyone. James Matthews daughter was one of Bureaus surrogates when she was 18 years old and she has given birth to my daughter. So now I and you know for sure, Bureau had made embryos using mine and Tris's chromosomes and there is at least one child, about 5 years old, called Kiara. James Matthews daughter is a key to find my daughter..." then I pause when I realize that if James Matthews was here, in front of my hotel, he must have known that Alexa was here and... I rush to my room. Room is empty, no Alexa there, just a writing in hotels note pad. "Thanx for the night, sorry, gotta go -A-" and a line of O's and X's under that. T-shirt that she used is folded neatly to bed.

Then it hits me, Alexa is gone and I don't know where she lives or how I can contact her, when she is going to meet my daughter tomorrow, where...


	12. Caleb's pov 5

Savanah Rose, Bronwyn Lueke and Dr Odyssey - thanks for your comments! I'm not sure yet what is going on next, but I don't think that Tris is coming back. It would be too hard to clone her and if they would succeed she would be just a baby/small child :-( It doesn't mean that Tobias/Four will forget her. ANd I can give you a hint that there is more than one child having Tris+Tobias chromosomes ;-)

oOoOoOo

\- Caleb pov -

So it's Sunday evening, it's about 7 pm, kids are going to bed, my mother-in-law is reading a bedtime story to Allen. It's nice and quiet, just like a Sunday night should be. Dara is staying here over night. Tomorrow will be a big day and Cara is taking my clothes ready, new suit and shirt, ironing the shirt. She is constantly humming some song and I haven't seen her this happy for a long time. Then my phone rings and Cara looks to me questioning. I look who is ringing, that Alexa, so I pick up and head to my office. "Hi Alexa" I reply, smiling and there a long silence on the other end of line. Then she says quickly "Hello mr Prior, I just called that I'm not coming tomorrow and I need to resign myself. I know it's only two months until the election and I leave you in big trouble but I cannot work for you anymore.". I'm stunned, what she is saying? Then I hear her sob and a male voice from back shouts "Five minutes to departure!". I get my voice back "But... have I done something wrong?" I have to ask and she sobers "no, it's just...everything is so complicated and.." She sighs "My family needs me, more than ever. My father is a candidate to Government also and he needs me at home. You must let me go, I get a sick leave or something if you don't resign me. I know that I should have given you a notice at least two weeks before resigning, but this thing has come up so quickly and I cannot work a single day for you, we are about to leave just now. I have left all my papers and keys at my desk in office, you find them there.". I think that there is nothing I can say or do to prevent this and sigh "then it's clear, I send your reference by mail if you give me your address. I wish that you wouldn't have to go, you have been a great help." She is silent for a long time and I wonder if she has gone already but then she whispers "Tell to Tobias it's better this way, it wouldn't work anyway." And then she is gone. Just like that.

Cara is standing there and I notice that she wants to know who it was. She looks worried, like anticipating some bad news. I look up to her and just say "so I don't have intern anymore and it's two months until election, just when I would need more help than ever..." A very brief smile passes by Cara's face, like she is happy for something she has done. Then she seems to be worried "Outch, bad timing, that truly sucks... I can help you out if you want, I don't have any education on politics but I have contacts." I nod "thanks for your offer dear, I think I will need all help I can get. By the way, are you and kids coming to that last City Council meeting tomorrow?" She shakes her head "I can come, my mother will look after the kids, there's no point to get them to meeting. It's too boring for them and I bet that they cannot keep silent long enough." She goes back to our bedroom and continues the ironing. I just sit there, in my dark office room and wonder what has happened during the weekend. On Friday afternoon Alexa had told that she has made great plans for upcoming months and she was sure that I'm going to Government. And why had she left a message to Tobias, why haven't she called to him directly. Am I some sort of messenger?

I arrange my office space, it has always been my way to clear my toughs. Clear room, clear mind. I got that box of papers to home on Friday and that is still there, on sofa. I empty the box, place all stuff to right places. I have few boxes left on my office, I have two months time to empty that, if I get elected. For the first time I start to wonder what I should do if I don't get elected, maybe my years in politics are over and I head back to researching. Last piece that is in the box are Allen's and Beata's pictures. I smile, they are both about 6 months old in these photos. Allen looks much about my father and has some features from Cara's side of family, like her chin and ears. Beata is much more like my mother and my sister were, not much about Cara in her. She is beautiful, I think and I realize how lucky I am, having two kids. I never wanted kids so much, it was more Cara's idea and one kid would have been enough, or so I had thought. First 18 months with Allen had been a nightmare, sleepless nights and days. He had colic, he had ear infections, he was crying days and nights. Then after 18 months he chanced, he had his ears tubed and infections were history. He started to smile and we got sleep. Then Cara had started to talk about another baby. I had thought that she was crazy and when she had told that she was pregnant I almost flipped. When Beata was born I waited when she starts to cry. But she has been always happy and when I look her features I'm just happy she is in my life. My beautiful daughter!

Then my phone rings and I jump, I'm so deep in my memories. I look what time it is, it's almost 10 pm. Who it is at this hour? Christina... I answer and she sounds little drunk when she blurts out all in same sentence "Hi-Caleb-I-need-your-interns-phone-number-for-my-friend.". I can hear some laughter form background. It takes me a while to process what she had said. "You need what for who?" and she giggles. "Come on stiff, as I said I need your interns phone number for my friend. We are playing this truth or dare and I really need that phone number or I have to drink more and I'm quite drunk already...". I sigh "when will you grow up and stop playing those games, do you realize what time it is? And I cannot give her phone number to anyone, not to you nor to your friend, and besides she just resigned herself so she is not my intern anymore.". I hear Christina telling this to others and there is some booig and I can hear Zeke's voice from background "You are so going to have a hangover tomorrow Chrissy!". Then there is laughter and a little silence. I can hear that Christina hands phone to someone else before saying "pour me another shot of Tequila, Amar". I hear noises vanishing and then there is a male voice I recognize. It's Four "so what you said to Christina? You won't give Alexa's phone number to her? I need to call her, bad." Tobias and Alexa? No way... what is going on I wonder but reply "I told to Christina that I cannot give her phone number to her nor to anyone else. She is no longer my intern and it wouldn't be proper to hand her number without her permission. All I can give to you is the message she left to me." I wait Four to answer something but there is a silence on other end of phone line and after a while I continue "She just called few hours ago and said that I must tell to you that it wouldn't never work out between you two. So it's better to leave her alone.". Then he snaps to me "You seem to know nothing about Alexa. She is your nieces surrogate mother and it's vital that I get a connection to her."

I'm stunned "say again? She is WHAT?" I say, just to get some time to process this piece of information. Four is annoyed, I can tell by his voice. "You heard me, Caleb. Don't play any games. Just give that number." I search Alexa's private number and give it to Four. I'm not going to argue with him when he is in that mood. I'm still stunned about his news. Beatrice has a child? How it's possible? Before I can ask more questions Four has hanged up. He didn't even thank me... I switch my phone to silent mode and head to shower and just keep on thinking what Four had said.

Cara is already in bed when I get there, she snuggles closer to me and presses her cold feet against mine. "Jeez woman, are you trying to kill me?" I protest and she giggles. "Do you want to know how warm my hands are" she asks. "No, if they are at same level than your feet." I answer. I kiss her nose and she yawns. "Good night" she whispers. She snuggles under my blanket, just like in old good days and I can feel that she is naked. And cold, her hands are indeed colder than her feet. "Good night darling" I say and pull her closer to me. I guess that's one of my duties, warm her up.

On Monday morning I wake up early. Kids are still asleep, so is Dara but Cara wakes up, makes some coffee to me. "Big day" she says and I must agree. "When you want me to come to City Hall?" she asks and I check my timetable "Last council meeting begins at noon so about 15 minutes earlier would be fine. And if you have time after that we are going to have some lunch with council members and their spouses. Johanna Reyes and Four is coming there also." She nods "my mom can look after the kids this day.".

The bus comes at same time as always, same passengers on board, sitting on same seats. I nod to them, they nod back. Again I'm first at office, I silence the alarm system and head to my room. When I pass I can see Alexa's office door is open and phone on her desk is ringing. I enter to her room, find the keys there just like she said she would leave those. There is a resign letter also and some other papers. In other ways the office room is empty, cleaned. All other of her personal belongings are gone, like she never had been here, only personal thing that she has left behind is her phone. I notice that there is 8 missed calls and light flashes that there is messages in her answering machine. Then it starts ringing again. There is just a number on phone, no name and it takes me a while to recognize who is calling. It's Four. I wonder should I answer or not and then phone bleeps - battery empty. Phone shuts down and there is finally a silence.

I take all stuff from Alexa's office, including her phone and head to my room. I think I have charger there and I can recharge her phone. What does it help? Nothing, I realize and just toss that phone to one box, half filled with my stuff already. Then I see a letter on my desk, written in haste. It's not that tidy handwriting she normally has, letters are crooked and bent.

 _"The Welfare Center on River Avenue is owned by the Bureau. It should be closed down, there are too many young girls waiting for perfect embryos there. Tell to Tobias and Johanna that if they contact Liza Andrews she can give all information to them. They need that to shut down Bureaus work on genetic improving. Don't try anything yourself or you and your family will be in big danger, Tobias and Johanna has nothing to lose, you have. There are many girls that are ready to go under oath and testify against the Bureau. I cannot do that, ever. My father would never forgive to me if he finds out that I told anything about this to you, he has too much money invested in Bureaus work.  
_

 _Erica Matthews"_


	13. Four's pov 6

\- Tobias pov -

Saturday evening and I feel numb. I know that there is no point to go out and trying to find her, I don't know where she lives. I don't know her phone number. Johanna comes, offers to take me out for dinner but I'm not hungry. I just put my running gear on and head outside. Running helps me to clear my mind, helps the anxiety that I'm feeling. Step after step, evening turns to night. Finally I have exhausted myself and I head back to hotel. A quick shower and then to bed. I was hoping that I will fall to dream quickly but I can still smell her in pillow and my bed is a big, empty, hostile place. I try to find better position and my hand touches something. There is that photo that Alexa had, tugged underneath my pillow. I look Kiara's smiling face, I can see Tris in her face, her smile is similar as well as her eyes. I see some teeth missing in front, I see the blond hair and then it hits to me. This is all I have left of Tris. It hurts, it truly hurts!

I don't know why but I turn picture around. Someone has written on back "first born from P&E cell line" and date of birth, little over 5 years ago. A big little daughter of mine. Just where I could find her? I feel mixed emotions, mostly I'm frustrated. I don't understand why Alexa had left without leaving her phone number, her address or a promise to come back tomorrow. I can understand why she didn't wait, it took so long at hospital, I wouldn't have waited myself. But still, she should have left her phone number at least! Thinking Alexa is like skating on a thing ice. I don't know what is it about her that makes me loose the control of myself., she's not the type of women I would look second time. Maybe it was just that she looked so small and vulnerable, hearing her rough past and the fact that I haven't slept with anyone since Tris. Waking up next to a woman that looks you like Alexa had looked me sure wakes some feelings, I presume. After all, I'm a man, not a monk. And there had been that side note in those feelings, guiltiness, sadness. I hated myself, I hated that I had wanted her and still I wanted her. I wanted to save her, make everything better for her and somehow I felt that it had been, like her father had blamed, all my fault, I have to fix everything for her. Finally I fell in dreams, holding Kiara's picture in my hand.

 _We walk on city streets, it's a summer day, birds are singing. I'm holding a little hand in mine and when I look to my right, I can see Kiara there, laughing. Her hair is braided, she is wearing a beautiful dress. And then there is Tris, holding her other hand. She is laughing also and I feel so happy. Then there is a sudden bang, rapid fire begins. I pull Kiara to safety but Tris turns around, she holding a gun in her hand. She kisses little girls forehead, then she kisses me, a quick kiss before she goes. "I don't want to leave you but I have to go, take care of her" She shouts when she runs towards a blazing battle. I cannot do anything, I can see how she is shot, multiple times and a girl next to me starts crying "Mommy!". Then there comes a woman, looking just like Eric, only a female version of him, short dark hair, tattoos, piercings, black clothes. She takes Kiara away from me and I cannot do anything, I just lay there and look, like I'm paralyzed. Now Kiara is crying "daddy, I want my daddy!". And that woman just laughs..._

I wake up, shouting their names, heart pounding. It's 3 am and I'm wide awake. I sit up, rub my head, calm down. Then I realize how hungry I am. This hotel doesn't have 24/7 room service so I have get out, find a fast food joint that is open at this hour. Food in there is not bad after all, it takes hunger away. Still after that, after eating my stomach full, I feel emptiness inside. I know that this is an emptiness that will always be in there, I cannot get rid of it. No matter what I do, where I go, who I meet. Part of my soul, part of my heart will always be missing.

That emptiness begun when Tris died.

I head back to hotel and manage to get few hours more sleep, dreamless. I wake up when my phone rings, this time it's Johanna. "Good morning! Are you going to see Evelyn today?" she asks and I look what time it is. It's 9 am so I have few hours before visiting hours. "I will" I reply "but first I will go to my apartment, just to see how bad the fire was." "Are you ready to go?" Johanna asks and I stand up "just give 5 minutes."

I get my clothes, place dirty ones in laundry bag. I brush my teeth, comb my hair and shave. From mirror looks back a tired man, black under his eyes. When I'm ready there is a knock on my door and when I open, Johanna stands there, looking concerned. "Hard night?" she asks and I realize that I must have woken her up at night when I was shouting their names. "Sorry if I woke you" I reply, not willing to talk more. She understands, she always does. She just gives a little pet to my shoulder, smiles comforting.

We take a bus, it's a smooth ride and soon we are at my apartment. I open the door and smell smoke, not badly. "Are you sure we can be here?" Johanna worries and I nod "I asked from Amar yesterday and it's okay. Police has taken all evidence they will need, we do no harm entering.". Apartment is now really cozy, not much decorations and everything is on right places. There is some bloodstains on hallway and other bloodstains on kitchen floor and I can see Johanna turning little bit paler when she sees those but she doesn't step away from my side. All burning damage is in kitchen, there has been some towel on stove and it's burned. First I think that my mother has been clever but then I realize that blood marks are far away from the stove and there are none near the gas burner or stove area. It must been someone else that has started the fire, intruder perhaps. Why? Had he tried to hide away his crime or had he started fire just to get help for Evelyn?

We look around for a while, not touching anything. "Just wondering what happened, why my mother was attacked." I say and Johanna nods. "I hope police can solve this and catch the intruder" she replies. "lets go to see her, visiting hour will start soon" I say and Johanna leads me to supermarket first. "we need something for her". She buys shampoo and soap, chocolate, book and a comb. "Shes not going to be long at hospital, you know" I say when I look her purchases. She ignores me completely, just pays everything before looking to me and saying "It wouldn't hurt you if you buy some flowers to your mother.". I look to roses then to Johanna "I don't think that flowers are allowed in ICU, I get her some when she gets home." Something else than roses, that is, smelling those reminds me of Alexa and I don't want to think about her, not now.

At hospital we have to wait for a while, there is some police talking with my mother first. I anticipate it would be Amar or Zeke but it's neither, just some cop I don't know. Mother looks so much better today, better color on her skin. There still are lots of machines around her, machines that are bleeping constantly. "Oh I'm so happy that they will transfer me to different ward today, I'm not in that bad shape that I should stay in ICU any more." We get to stay with her about half a hour before a nurse comes and asks us to leave. They are going to make her ready for transfer and we could come to see her on evening again. When we are leaving Evelyn whispers, holding my hand "I just wished I could have been there tomorrow, seeing you in City Hall, as a candidate for Government membership. I don't trust in politicians, you know but still... I'm so proud of you Tobias!". Hearing that from my mother touches my heart deeply.

Johanna's phone rings when we exit from hospital and she stands back, talking to someone "yes, so it happens tonight... okay, you are sure about this?... They are? Then we must hurry.". She looks worried when she looks up to me. "Don't risk yourself, don't risk anyone, just get all information you can. Run if needed. Be safe...call to me after... yes, take care, bye." There is a long silence between us before she tells "There is rumors that they are closing down welfare centers in Chicago. They will transfer girls to unknown destinations, maybe tonight. I have a trusted nurse now working on morning sift at center, she will get as much information as she can. ". This is bad news. "Do you think that James Matthews being here in Chicago has something to do with this closure?" I have to ask and Johanna nods. "It can be, he is one of biggest financiers for Bureau and if he feels that we threaten him somehow..." she pauses for a while. "What did you say yesterday, that his daughter has been a surrogate also? Why? It doesn't make any sense, I think. That family has more money that they can spend in lifetime and I bet his daughter wouldn't have to sell herself to get money, she would have it much easier.". I had tough that also, something in Alexa's story made it unbelievable but I didn't know what that was. "She told me why, she was so young then so she couldn't sell anything and her father didn't give any money for her, she needed it badly and didn't have time to get it. It was a fast way she took and it cost her much." Johanna shakes her head "I cannot believe that James wouldn't have helped her, he is so over protective, Erica is all he has now." I have to nod, because of me Erica is truly all he has left, that's what he said also.

We head back to our hotel and Johanna says that she will go and meet her friends this afternoon and evening. She asks if I want to join but I have other plans. "Just call to me if you hear anything about welfare center and if you need my help to anything" I say and she nods. She knows that she can trust my assistance in this matter. I don't ask who she is seeing, it's not my business. When she leaves I take my phone and call to Zeke. When he answers I just ask "how you find someone if only you know is first name and age?". He thinks for a while before answering "it depends on many things. Where are you anyways?". I'm sure he's not going to tell me. "I'm here, Chicago, by the hotel I'm staying." He laughs "good, just come over here to my place, we are going to hold a surprise birthday party for Shauna! And if you come I can see what I can do for you, Four." I have to agree, no way that I could find Alexa or Kiara in other way. No use to run around city, hoping to see them somewhere. "Who else is coming?" I just ask and Zeke laugh "everyone!". "Same old place?" I have to ask and he confirms "same old place, nothing changes here." So I head to Hancock building.

When I arrive there is already a party going on, I can see Amar and George, Shauna, Christina and Matthew, Zeke comes from kitchen and offers a cold beer to me. When Shauna sees me she stands up and walks to me, with big smile on her face. "My favorite number!" she greets me and I laugh, congratulate her. "Ush, please, don't mention THAT" she replies and laughs. It's good to be among friends. There is so much to talk about, Amar and Zeke asks about my mother and I can sense that they want to ask more. Matthew is texting with someone, looking his phone from time to time. Christina get annoyed by that and asks "Are you married to that thing?". Matthew looks up to Christina "No, I'm not, sorry, there was something at work that needed my attention. I'll put this away..." I look to Matthew "so what do you do now?" I ask. "I lead a research group that is improving our environment" he replies and Christina looks to him "I tough that you were leading the Bureau." She snaps. "Well, you can say it like that but I know that the Bureau doesn't have good reputation among the Government. And our main work is in making our environment better, we just had to find other sources to fund us when Government shut their funding. And we are making people happy, we create happy families. " he looks to Amar and George and they nod, smiling. I raise my eyebrows. He is the leader of the Bureau? How didn't I know this? Then I remember that Cara told something about Matthews work at Bureau, I didn't just remember what...

"But tell us more about that girl that Johanna told yesterday..." Amar teases me and I look to him angry. "There's nothing to tell." Zeke smirks "Then we force it out from you, I'm a pretty good investigator, you know.". Amar and George looks to each other "sounds like we are going to have a drinking game!". Matthew raises "if you are starting that then I'm sorry but I must leave, I have early morning tomorrow." He hugs Shauna, kisses her cheeks, hugs Christina and shakes hands with rest of us. After he has left Zeke gets classes and bottles. "You know the rules, it's like a truth or dare and if you fail you must drink. And because it's Shauna's birthday she's first to ask." I have a feeling that they are going to make me sloshed if I don't tell them what they want to know.

Shauna smiles and looks to me "Okay, Four. Truth or Dare?" I choose Truth and regret it immediately. "Who was in your bed?" she asks with a smile. I look back and answer "Not going to tell". Zeke hands me small shot of Whiskey "then drink up." I drink the Whiskey and then ask from Christina "Truth or Dare." She chooses Dare and I make her kiss Zeke. When she is doing that I look to Shauna that is looking away, hurt in her eyes. I feel bad for her.

Game goes on and from question after question I realize that hole purpose of this game was to get me so drunk that I will tell all they want to know. It's easier to give up and tell them something before they make me drink too much. After all, I have to be at City Hall before noon tomorrow and hopefully not to have a huge hangover. Then I hear Amar ask from Christina "Truth or Dare" and Christina picks Dare. "Call to Caleb and ask for his interns phone number so we can put Four out of his misery!". Christina picks her phone and searches Caleb's phone number.

It's ringing for a long time before Caleb answers. She blurts out "Hi-Caleb-I-need-your-interns-phone-number-for-my-friend.". Zeke and Amar laughs. Christina giggles "Come on stiff, as I said I need your interns phone number for my friend. We are playing this truth or dare and I really need that phone number or I have to drink more and I'm quite drunk already..." She listens a long time and then tells to us just "he won't tell, says it's a biiiiiiig secret." George and Amar boo and Zeke shouts "You are so going to have a hangover tomorrow Chrissy!". They laugh and I hold my hand out, wanting the phone. Christina hands me that before she turns to Amar and asks "pour me another shot of Tequila, Amar". I raise up and head to Zeke's bedroom for a private conversation. "so what you said to Christina? You won't give Alexa's phone number to her? I need to call her, bad." I snap to him, not caring what he thinks. "I told to Christina that I cannot give her phone number to her nor to anyone else. She is no longer my intern and it wouldn't be proper to hand her number without her permission. All I can give to you is the message she left to me." I wait for the message and then he says "She just called few hours ago and said that I must tell to you that it wouldn't never work out between you two. So it's better to leave her alone.". That is the moment when I loose my temper. She called to Caleb and told that to him! I need to shake him, just to get her phone number. "You seem to know nothing about Alexa. She is your nieces surrogate mother and it's vital that I get a connection to her."

He sounds surprised "say again? She is WHAT?" I'm really annoyed. "You heard me, Caleb. Don't play any games. Just give that number." Finally I have her number. I try to call to that number immediately but no one answers, just a machine goes on after a while. "Alexa, please, answer... it's me, Tobias." I say to machine, wait a while and call again. No luck. I hear others continuing that game but I'm not in mood anymore. I got what I had wanted and now I just have to wait for Alexa's answer. I leave others drinking and having fun, head back to hotel. I try to call to Alexa again and again, no answer.

It's another night with nightmares, another nigh when memories hound me. Alcohol doesn't suit me, it doesn't bring relief for pain. Morning comes anyways and I start it with a long run. I know it's not good to run when you have a hangover but it wakes me up. After a run I cut my hear, shave my beard and have a long shower. Then I try to call to Alexa, again. After the third call all calls transfer directly to answering machine so her phones battery must be empty.

I dress my suit on, it's little wrinkled but I don't mind. Just another day to live by. Few cups of coffee wakes me up, then I head to the City Hall. It's 11:40 am when I arrive there, so I'm quite early. At first I don't see anyone that I recognize and I start to wonder where Johanna is, haven't seen or heard from her since yesterday. She should be soon here! Then I spot Cara, standing her back turned to me. She is on phone, talking to someone. "...have I said thanks to you already... Yes, that little bitch is gone, he told that she resigned herself yesterday. Thank God, I don't know what Caleb saw on her... yes, yes, I do my best! See you soon.". She places her phone in her handbag and then looks around. She's little stunned when she sees me, but then kisses my cheeks. "Nice to see you Four" she says and asks "should we go in?". I nod, wondering where Johanna is. She should be here. Then I suddenly realize what she had talked on phone, who she had been referring. Shills go down my spine when I look to Cara. "What have you done?" I ask in low, chilly voice, not wanting to draw attention. She shrugs. "Nothing that a normal wife wouldn't do" she replies and hastens her steps.


	14. Caleb's pov 6

\- Caleb pov -

I read the note that she left once again and try to understand. I feel little jealousy, it's always someone else gets all good stuff to handle. But there is a warning in note also, Alexa or should I say Erica has warned me, I have too much to loose. By that she is right, I have Cara and kids and I cannot place them in danger. So I pick my phone and try to call to Johanna but she doesn't answer. Then my co-worker Tia rushes in asking "Have you heard the latest news? There has been some sort of hustle on River Avenue last night and our woman in Government, Johanna Reyes, is in critical condition in hospital right now, she was injured severely. She has some sort of critical head trauma or something and if she survives she will be arrested. The accusation is that she has been organizing kidnapping and some of River Avenues Welfare Centers girls are missing. They are searching them everywhere!" she looks to me "Haven't you heard anything about this?"

I must shake my head, I haven't heard and I'm thunderstruck. I search news, try to get any information what has happened but there isn't much. Three girls are still missing and the Welfare Centers stuff is desperately searching after them. Johanna and some other woman has been injured badly, two men is killed and Welfare Centers building is destroyed. Matthew is talking on news, pleading for kidnappers to return "those innocent girls , who had got in trouble and that they were helping out", like they were some benefactors at Bureau. He explains that girls need immediate hospital care because of their physical and mental condition and they can harm themselves or others if left untreated. Hole purpose of these Welfare Centers has been to take care of young girls that were mentally handicapped in one way or more plus all physical handicaps that they had. They where helping girls that were too young, too pregnant, to deep in troubles. Some of girls had no other place to stay, they had been kicked out from home and school after they had been "promiscuous" or so Matthew explains with poker face. I laugh. But I must say that he is really convincing in his act.

Girls pictures are shown; 15 years old Tina, 16 years old Ann and 18 years old Sofie are ones that are missing and description about Tina is "very heavily pregnant, will give birth any day now", two other missing girls are pregnant too but their due date is later. Tina's parents are being interviewed also, not the smartest person I see and they remind me about the factionless people from my childhood. Something similar in them. They tell that their girl had been raped and got in deep depression after that and therefore had been treated by Welfare Center without a charge, the Bureau is paying all fees. They blame Johanna and in their mind this hole thing has turned as an fight between "good Bureau" and the "evil Government". They blame that members of the Government doesn't understand nor appreciate the value of Bureaus hard work. Johanna is the best scapegoat, she cannot defend herself.

Then I realize that it's already 11:45 and I'm going to be late from City Councils meeting if I don't hurry up. I haven't noticed how time has passed and everyone else has left already. I grab my coat and rush of my office. It takes about 10 minutes when I walk in haste and most of council members have entered the City Hall already. I can see Cara and Four, standing there by door. Four looks angry, he scolds Cara about something she has done. Cara snaps something back, looking furious and I hear "it's not your business, Four.". I wonder what they are arguing, I have thought that they are friends and on Friday they seemed that they were enjoying each others company when we were having lunch. I feel urge to defend my wife, even I don't know what Fours accusations are but we don't have time for this, meeting will start in 5 minutes. I greet them, kiss Cara's cheeks and nod to Four. I can see that Cara is furious about something and Four glares her angrily, like wanting to solve this here and now, no matter who will see or hear.

"What ever it is, we don't have time to this, let's go inside, the meeting will begin in any minute" I urge them and Four nods. "I finish this later with you Cara, so don't run away. If you try to run, I will follow." he says in low voice. I step between those two and Cara knocks my shoulder. "I will go over there and sit in audience, see you after darling." She kisses me, straight to my lips, out there in public. Something that she never does, just because it makes me feel so awkward. I'm not used in showing my feelings in public places. She hastens her steps and leaves our company, heads towards the stairs that lead to viewing gallery around the City Hall main floor. I go inside the meeting hall with Four and he is looking around, searching for someone.

"Have you seen Johanna?" he asks and I realize that he doesn't know what has happened. "So you don't know about Johanna?" I ask and he turns to me. "They should have called to you at first hand, aren't you her assistant." I point out and he frowns. "Caleb... start from beginning. Who should have called to me and why, what has happened? You seem to know more than I do, so tell now.". I shrug "there's not much to tell, there had been some sort of hustle at one Welfare Center and Johanna has been involved in it. She is injured severely and if she survives she will be accused on triple kidnapping and some other crimes she has made or has been organizing.". Four looks to his phone "No, no one has called to me." and then he looks back to me. "And I think you gave wrong number last night. I have called multiple times to Alexa and she doesn't answer" I look to him in disbelief "Is that all you are worried now? And I gave you the right number, she left her phone in her office with resign letter." I see that he is going to say something and I point out "and that phone is her personal phone, she didn't have any phone from council or from me. And I saw you ringing this morning but the phones battery went empty so I couldn't answer."

Chairman bangs his table with wooden hammer "Everyone, be seated. Meeting is about to begin!". He says and I sit on my regular chair. Four goes on, to spare chairs that are reserved for him and Johanna. Silence falls eventually to meeting room. I can see from my place that Four is texting something to someone, not paying attention on what is going on the meeting. Chairman clears his throat and announces "Welcome all city council members to this last meeting of this season. We have an election coming up so traditionally there would be our representative in Government, our man, or woman in this case, speaking here in front of you but unfortunately there has been an unfortunate accident and she is unable to attend. On my behalf I wish a speedy recovery to her. So we carry on with our normal routine, there is only two things on agenda that needs our attention before next season. First we are discussing about those things and then there will be voting. After second voting is done there will be short speeches, both candidates have five minutes to tell to all of our council members and to our audience why he should be elected." He points to both of us "if that is okay with you, mr Prior and mr Eaton?" he asks and I nod. Four looks little puzzled, then nods. I bet that he has no idea what the chairman has been saying.

So the meeting begins and first there is a matter of school's health care and funding. Schools need more money for health care and everyone agrees, so there is not much discussion about it. We go for voting soon and it's clear. On next season we are going to reserve more money for school health care in our budget. How they will do it, it will be up to next council. Other matter is about energy needs, there is power shortages reported all over city repeatedly and they are getting worse. This time there is more heated discussion, some say that we should have some planned blackouts and other that we need more solar power plants, but there is no money for those. They point out that if schools can get money for health care then this is more important and this cannot wait for next councils decision making, Someone points out that power shortages should go under Government jurisdiction and the funding should come from Government, not from city. "Too bad that our Government member isn't here to take this matter to them. It's clear that power shortages endanger our city and it's more Government duty to take care our safety." our chairman says "But I trust that mr Eaton will take this matter as his duty, he is now our representative in Government when mrs Reyes is unable to do her job.". From my place I can see Four's head raise and he looks to chairman and nods finally. "I will take this matter to Government" he promises and then looks back to his phone. He has been listening hole time? I thought that he had just been texting with someone.

"Well, then there is no more matters on our agenda and it's time for mr Prior and mr Eaton to give their speeches. Who will begin?" Chairman looks both of us and I raise my hand. "I can" I say and he looks to Four. He nods "let Caleb go first." He says. I raise up. "Mr Chairman, my fellow members of City Council, my loving wife Cara" I look up to viewing gallery and see Cara there, sitting next to Matthew. I didn't know that he was coming here also and feel my mood darken. "and other audience. I'm honored that you have chosen me to go for election as your candidate. I have continued my fathers, Andrew Priors, work here in City Council and I promise that when" I emphasize that word "I get elected to the Government I will do my best for Chicago there. I will run our City's matters as my own, I will take care that Chicago will get everything from the Government that is needed. We will not be pushed aside, we will not be just one little city amongst others, we will be as important as bigger cities and have same privileges than Indianapolis and Milwaukee. We are about same sizes and they get more funding from Government than us." I look up to viewing gallery and see how Matthew whispers something to Cara and she smiles. It annoys me so much that I lost my tough for moment. Then I remember. "And I make sure that all work that the Bureau is doing will be under examination and jurisdiction, all illegal, unmoral, unethical business will be cut short even it means shutting down the Bureau." I look directly to Matthew and he looks back, raises his eyebrows and smiles, then shakes his head. Cara whispers something to his, worried look on her face. I must look back to Chairman or I wouldn't be able to continue. "I was born and raised in Chicago, I have lived here my hole life. This city has given so much for me and now it's time for me to pay back. You can help me in this by voting me to the Government and I promise I will raise Chicago's voice, I will defend our city's needs and rights to the end." Then I look to Four. He has crossed his hands in front of him and looks directly to me, his head tilted little to left. He has little smile on his face, like he is looking a small child learning to walk or something. He is really patronizing some times, like he is superior. "And for my opponent I wish all the best. May the best man win. Thank you!" I sit down and hear applauses.

Finally chairman bangs his hammer again and says "Now mr Eaton." Four rises up and looks to me, scratches his neck. Then he looks around and smiles, I can see politician inside him is standing up. "It's nice to be here, thank you mr chairman and members of Chicago's city council for inviting us. I'm truly sorry for mrs Reyes behalf that she cannot join us today but I wish speedy recovery for her. As mr Prior, I too was born here in Chicago, I'm the son of Evelyn Johnson and Marcus Eaton and politics run deep in my veins, it's in my inheritance. My father was this city's leader before the Purity War and my mother during it. You can remember me as a Dauntless leader during Purity War, I used my Dauntless name then, I was Four." He pauses for a while and looks down, like seeking inspiration. Then he looks up with little smirk on his face.

"You know, my mother doesn't trust in politicians, she never has, who would? Worse than many others... " There is little laughter around before Four continues. "But she wishes that she will see me as a member of Government. She knows what I can do, she knows that I'm former Dauntless – I'm brave. I have lost so much in my life that I have no more to loose – that makes me fearless. In Purity War I fight for peace, I was a soldier – I'm strong. I was born to Abnegation – I'm selfless. I have worked for Government, for mrs Reyes now over 8 years and I have learned a lot, I know how Government works. I know how I can have an influence there, how I can raise my voice so I will be heard, how Chicago's voice will be heard, I know who to meet, who to have lunch with, I know that system, I have lived in it so long already. Johanna has trained me well. You know that I have lived over 5 years in Providence, it's easier that way, but my heart lives in Chicago and I haven't forgotten this city. I know these streets by heart, I know these buildings, I know these people."

He looks up to viewing gallery and so do I. Cara is sitting alone now and smiles to me. I don't smile back, I'm little angry for her. Four continues "I will not give empty promises that I cannot keep but I promise you this. I, Tobias Eaton, will always keep Chicago in my heart and do all that I can to make this city to thrive." I can sense that he is looking to me when he ads up "And for you, Caleb, all the best for the election. May the best man win! Thank you." He sits down and there is a huge standing applause going on City Hall. I realize that it will be hard for me to win Four.

Chairman knocks his hammer again and pleads "please, quiet down!". Finally there is silence in City Hall. He smiles and nods to Four then to me. "All the best for both of you, really, may the best man win. And now I declare this meeting finished. Let's continue after Choosing Day! Have a nice holiday and remember to vote. " We all stand up and applause to chairman who goes first to Four, shakes his hand and they share some words. Then he comes to me and shakes my hand. "All the best for you, Caleb. You are coming to lunch with your wife, right? I saw her sitting there on the gallery, she must be really proud of you as I know your parents would be." Other council members surrounds us, wanting to shake my hand, clapping my shoulders, wishing all the best. I feel warm, loved and respected. Then Cara comes and kisses my cheeks "I'm so proud of you dear" she says, her eyes sparkling. I'm still angry to her but I hide it, just smile and hug her briefly. Cara puts on her "happy politicians wife" face and chats with everyone, turning conversation to me and to how proud she is, how she supports me fully and will do anything for me.

We head out for lunch, chairman, me and Cara leading the group and then I realize that Four is missing.


	15. Four's pov 7

\- Tobias pov -

I hasten my steps and catch Cara by doors. "Cara, wait and explain what has Alexa done for you or for Caleb?" I ask and she shrugs "Well, she was going on my husband, trying to kiss him and blinking her eyes and flirting. Caleb always said how wonderful interior she is and how smart and funny – that little bitch would have broken our family eventually." I get angry to her and to her presumptions. "And what have you done yourself? Does Caleb know what you told to me?" I'm angry for her and Cara snaps back, looking furious "it's not your business, Four.". I'm just about to snap back something when Caleb arrives in haste and little out of breath.

"What ever it is, we don't have time to this, let's go inside, the meeting will begin in any minute" He says and I nod, glare to Cara and say in low voice "I finish this later with you Cara, so don't run away. If you try to run, I will follow.". I can see from her face that she understands and then Caleb steps between us, braking the eye contact. "I will go over there and sit in audience, see you after the meeting, darling." Cara says to Caleb and kisses him, then glares to me. I continue to main floor of City Hall with Caleb and look around, thinking about what Cara had done and wondering where Johanna is, she should be here. Caleb drops news bomb about Johanna's involvement in hustle at a Welfare Center and her getting injured, it takes time for me to realize what he said. I check my phone, there is no calls, no messages and I cannot believe that she had done something that stupid without my assistance. I asked her to call me if she needs help and she haven't, nor has anyone else called. I wonder why. Caleb is right when he says that they should have me informed on first hand, either Johanna or the police or nurses from hospital at least.

I text to Christina and Zeke and ask from them what has happened and where Johanna is. It takes some time before news start to arrive. Christina texts to me. I listen what chairman says, it's that normal meeting jargon and read Christina's messages. He asks something about making a speech and Caleb hastily agrees – so will I. Then I realize I haven't prepared any speech, Johanna were supposed to be one that would hold her speech as a city's member of Government always holds and I know that Johanna has that speech somewhere. When I look up I spot Cara, sitting there, looking back to me angry. Then someone sit besides to her and she seems to be surprised. So am I when I note that it's Matthew.

After a short observation I start to wonder what is going on between Cara and Matthew. They sit close to each other, whisper constantly. Caleb looks to them also for a brief moment and I can see that he doesn't like the intimacy that is immediate between those two. I look to Caleb and wish that he wouldn't make any number out this, if he wants some voters. I lean back, cross my hands and listen Caleb acting like a small boy who wants his toy back. After glaring Cara and Matthew angrily he scowls me. I see Matthew kiss Cara's cheek and leave. Then it's my turn to speak. I haven't prepared any speech but after a short thinking the politician inside takes control. I hear from audiences reactions that they are with me, supporting me and I see Caleb's face darken. I don't care. When I'm finishing my speech I see Zeke by doorway, looking me. I note that he is wearing his uniform. I nod little and he nods back. I can see him typing something and then my phone vibrates, just when the chairman is giving a closure speech. I look the message, it's just "Found Johanna, I get U there"

I just reply "OK" and put my phone away, just when the chairman approaches me. "Hello Tobias, nice speech, good to have you here!" he shakes my hand. "Thank you! I know that Johanna has promised that we will come for lunch today but I'm sorry, I have to cancel that and rush to see Johanna." Chairman nods "How is she?" and I have to shrug "I have no information yet". He nods, hesitates for a while and says "Tell her best wishes from us all and speedy recovery.". And then he continues to Caleb. This is the best time to vanish.

Zeke is waiting me outside, standing by his police car. "I thought you had a day off" I say and he yawns "So did I but they called on morning, there had been this hustle on River Avenue and they needed more cops to work, just to sort out what has happened and to search for missing girls." We sit down to police car and he revs the engine. I nod, it makes sense "Have you found the girls?" I ask but he shakes his head."Not yet, not even lightest clue, no surveillance camera data or anything. They have truly disappeared in thin air as one of nurses have also. And then there is Johanna and one doctor that are injured, few guards from welfare clinic that got killed and what else... a big mess everywhere." I note that we drive to same hospital that treats my mother, States Hospital. Zeke stops car to parking place, short walk from here to entry. There is some media people there and when they see me they start to shout questions. "No comments" I and Zeke reply to every question. I note that they take a lot of photos and for a little moment I think how this all will affect to my public career, how this affects to Johanna's career. But I don't care.

There is some police at doors as well as hospitals security. They nod to Zeke and let us two enter without any questions. We head to ICU, same place where I was on Saturday and on Sunday. It takes some time before one nurse approaches to us, she smiles and nods to Zeke and takes then a long and hard look to me. "We are here for mrs Reyes." Zeke explains but she shakes her head "no visitors for her, police orders" I glare to her "then we wait here. I'm not going to leave." I sit down to sofa and Zeke walks around, listening his police radio. "Sorry Four, I must leave, boss orders". He says after a while and I nod "I stay here, as long as needed. I won't leave without seeing her." He nods "let's keep in touch." and leaves.

It's about 20 minutes later when my phone rings. I don't recognize ringers number and answer just "Yes" to phone. "Am I talking to mr Tobias Eaton? The Tobias Eaton that is mrs Johanna Reyes assistant?" asks a very polite male voice. "Who is asking?" I reply and after a short pause comes answer. "Police Commissioner Dan Paulus would like to meet you immediately and ask few questions, so will you come to police station or should I get a patrol car to pick you up?" I get little annoyed and snap "He can ask those question here at the hospital or then by phone, I'm not coming anywhere, I cannot leave.". Man on other end of line hesitates before he says "It's not suitable, you see, the plaintiff insists that you will be questioned and it can happen only at police station.". I think that my heart just skipped a beat. "Who is the plaintiff?" I ask and he replies "But of course it's the Bureau!". I sigh "Well, I don't have much choices, do I?". "No sir, you don't" he agrees. "Then I have to come, but it can take time." I reply, looking around. I don't want a ride in police car. "You have 30 minutes, after that we will sent a patrol to get you here.". Well, man gotta do what a man gotta do, so I head for nurses office. One nurse, same that treated my mother on Saturday looks up. "Hi, I am here for Johanna Reyes but they haven't allowed me to see her, I'm her assistant." She nods, looks around and then whispers "I know perfectly well, who you are, but I cannot let you see her.". I smile reassuringly "No, that was not what I meant, I just wanted to make sure, that you will contact me if there is any change in her condition. I must go to city for awhile, but I will be back later on." She nods, looks around and whispers "When you come back I see that you can meet Johanna for a while." I know that it's a huge promise!

I walk to police station, there is few media representatives in front of hospitals main entrance and then there is some more by police station. There is a police woman sitting behind info. She looks to me and without me saying anything she points to elevators "Fourth floor and to right, you will meet the Commissioner there. He's waiting for you.". I don't like this but I guess that I don't have any other choice.

When I get to fourth floor there is about 10 years older man waiting for me. "I was just about to call to the patrols to get you. Please follow me.". He leads me to his office. He opens a computer file, turns camera on and then looks to me. "I'm taping this conversation, just for your information. And of course you have right to remain silent, if thats what you choose, but I ask you to choose wisely.". I nod and ask "Are you accusing me for something?". He shakes his head "No, not now at least. We are investigating mrs Reyes actions on Sunday. Tell me about yesterday, what did you do." I tilt my head to side "Why you are interested in what I did if you are investigating Johanna?". He looks up from computer file "Just please ask that question.".

"Well, I woke up early, had something to eat, then slept some more. Johanna woke me up about 9 am. We went to my apartment to see the damages there, then we went to hospital to meet my mother. When we got back she said she would meet her friends so I went with my friends. I haven't been in contact with her since." He nods and asks "and how did mrs Reyes behave when she was with you?". I shrug "just like she normally does, I guess. Nothing special." He nods again. "and did she have any phone calls when you were with her?". I look to him, trying to guess what he is after before I reply "If I remember correctly she talked with some friend by phone when we left from hospital, I think that she was organizing some get together party or something, I didn't ask from her. Her business, not mine." He nods "a-ha... then what do you know about Bureaus actions?". I hesitate for a while and he looks to me, waiting for answer. "I have heard that the Bureau had made some really dirty work that is unethical and unmoral but then again it has done also some really valuable work. " He smiles "you truly are a politician."

"What do you know about mrs Reyes plans for Sunday?" he asks and I shrug "as I said earlier I thought that she will see some of her friends, nothing bigger.". He looks directly to my eyes, trying to see if I lie. "Would you look to this" he hands me a little black notebook and I take it, open it and read first texts, they are dated over 2 years ago. Johanna's handwriting, I notice. He nods "Please turn to marked page" he asks and I do so and read the lines:

\- Told to Tobias, he said no. too risky. Cannot live without doing something. Called L.A.

\- L.A. arranged a meeting this afternoon, T not coming.

\- I have three new roses, ready to bloom. I had to replant those, hope they will survive...

\- When I retire I want to live on that old street, watch rainbows up in the sky, smell roses, see how they grow and multiple

\- I feel sorry for Tobias, he + Tris would have been a perfect match + two kids

Then I look back to my investigator. "And your question is?" I ask and he looks litte annoyed. "It's obvious. What is she referring in first lines of that page?". I shrug "She told me about some girls that were in trouble and I told to contact authorities if she has some real accusations and all facts are proven sure." He waits me to continue, then asks "What facts". I smile a bit and wait for his reaction "She said that the Bureau is using under aged surrogates.". He doesn't even blink. "And who is L.A.? And do you think that with T she is referring to you?" he continues and I have to say that I don't have any idea. But last three sentences gives me address where I can find the girls.

He doesn't ask that, he just nods and shuts the recording off. "And now between us two, off the records. Do you know something more off this matter?" he asks and I shake my head "just have heard some rumors, like those under aged surrogates use and genetically manufacturing "pure" kids." He looks interested but then adds "but you don't have any evidence to prove that". I nod "that's the problem. Only if there would be someone willing to talk or something.""If you get any evidence, please contact me immediately. I have heard those rumors for a long time, about 3 years now and really trying to nail the Bureau. If you happen to find out any evidence or happen to find out where the three missing girls are hidden, please, call to me immediately, day or night." He hands me his phone numbers, both to work and his personal number. We shake hands and he walks me to elevator. "I'll call to hospital so you can see mrs Reyes if you like."

I wonder if I can trust him.


	16. Caleb's pov 7

**Thanks for your comments!** And **Savanah Rose** : I think it's better not to trust anyone... Why didn't Johanna tell to Tobias what she is up to? Maybe we can get an answer to that, later...

oOoOoOo

\- Caleb pov -

The lunch is long, little bit boring eventually. Cara keeps on her act and I don't protest. I know it's better to make a good impression. When we are finally finished I walk from restaurant hand in hand with Cara. When we are out I drop her hand from mine. "Caleb, what's wrong?" she asks. I snort. "You really ask that? First, what did you do to make Four so mad?". She shrugs "I don't know, maybe he overheard and misunderstood something I said when I was talking on phone with one of my friends." I look to her and she doesn't flinch. "And I must say that I didn't like what I saw today." I add, remembering Matthew and Cara sitting there side by side, whispering. "Are you jealous, Caleb?" she asks and I almost admit that I am, then ask in return "Do I have to be?". She just smiles her beautiful smile then kisses my cheek "Sorry darling, but please remember that we are just friends, Matthew has been a great support for me, encouraging friend when I needed one. And I know that he still has feelings for me, he was my fiancé but I chose you." I look away, it feels little awkward to talk about this here, out in public. I know that I want to ask more about their relationship and what are her feelings towards Matthew, but this is not a right place or time for that. "Let's go home" I say instead of many lines I have in my mind. "Are you really coming home and not going to office?" she asks and looks a bit surprised. " I'm coming home, there's nothing at office that needs my attention.". She mutters something "no there is not, that bitch is gone", I'm not sure if I heard correctly. I don't want to ask.

At home is a normal chaos, Allen is having a tantrum over something Dara did or didn't do. Beata is giggling and seems to be happy until she notices us. Then it's a huge cry that ends when Cara lifts her up. Then Allen needs Cara's full attention and Cara gives Beata to me. She wants her mummy, not her daddy and crying start all over again. Dara just shakes her head. "Call me if you need my help this week, next week I'm going on that trip" she says to Cara and leaves. Finally kids settle down and Allen wants to play memory game with me. He wins, repeatedly and giggles. Cara prepares dinner for us and after that it's time for bath. Kids love this and we laugh also. I look over to Cara, she's happy and laughing but doesn't talk much to me, haven't talked since we got home.

Cara takes Beata and I take Allen. I read his favorite book as an bed time story and hear over Cara's singing for Beata. I hope for a while that this moment would last forever. Allen falls asleep, teddy on his lap. Again I feel like there is lots of questions that I would like to get answers, like why teddys name is Matty, same name than Allen uses for Matthew. I just don't know will I ever have courage or strength to ask those questions from Cara. I raise up and leave Allen's room. Singing has ended but I don't see Cara anywhere, maybe she is still putting Beata to sleep. I go to my home office and start my computer. There is some mails that needs my attention, so I reply those. Then there is an error message, I had send a reference for Alexa this morning and it has returned with notification "user unknown". I check that I had typed her address correctly, no mistakes in there, same address that she used mailing her application letter. I'm about to call to her but then I remember that I have her phone, no use to call. There is no way I can contact her.

I need something to drink, maybe a cup of tea. It's quiet in our home, I check Allen; he's sleeping. Then I check Beata; she's sleeping. I don't see Cara anywhere, not in our bedroom, not in living room, not in kitchen. I haven't heard that she had gone out and I think that she would have told to me if she is going to somewhere. I look better, Cara is not at home. I try to call to her, there is no answer. I really wonder what is going on and should I worry. I go to kitchen and try again to call to Cara, no answer but soon she texts "I'm right back, don't worry". I go to kitchen, put the kettle on. When the water starts to boil I hear our front door open quietly, then close. I get two cups and pour hot water to both, then add tea bags. Smell of raspberries ooze out from cups.

Cara comes to kitchen, stands there by the door and just looks to me. I look to her, then get my tea cup and sit down. "Aren't you going to ask?" she asks and I shake my head "I'm waiting you to tell" I just reply. Then there is a long silence. "I thought that you would tell without asking but fine, if you don't want to tell then just… don't. I was just wondering where you went without saying and I don't mean that you need my permission or something." I say to Cara. She sighs, mixes her tea cup and then says "I saw Four.". I wait if she is saying something more but she is silent. When I have finished my tea I stand up and clean dishes. "I just hope he didn't scold you too much, he can be quite harsh.". She smiles tiredly "no, he just… said what he felt he needs to say. That's it, I deserved it. I think he is under a lot of pressure after Johanna getting injured and all. And don't worry, I have known Four for a long time, I can handle him.". I smile a bit "should I worry for Fours behalf?". She comes to me, gives her teacup for me and then hugs me tight. I clean her cup, dry it and place back to cupboard. Then I turn around, she has been hugging me all time. She looks me to my eyes, her beautiful eyes sparkling." I just wish that we would be over Choosing Day." she whispers and then kisses me. When we are like this, just two of us at home it's doesn't feel so awkward, it's rather nice. I kiss her, her lips playing with mine. She sure knows what she is doing and soon I forget everything I wanted ask.

Next morning we wake up late, it's about 8 am when Beata wakes and shouts. "Are you going to office today?" Cara asks when we are having breakfast. "No need, I might take few days off and then on Thursday or Friday I have to clean my room. I have been thinking that I spend as much time at home than I can now, it's just few months and then we will know what next.". She smiles, thinking of something, but not saying. Then I remind her "and in the end of this month we are spending that week in Providence, have you told to your mother yet?". Cara nods "she will take kids when she comes from that holiday trip". I remember Dara saying that she was going to some trip, but no idea where. "Where was she going?" I have to ask and she hesitates a while "Oh, I cannot remember. It was Minnepolis, I think." she replies but I bet she knows more about her mothers plans than she is telling. Well, it's not my business, as long as she is willing to take care of our kids when needed and that Providence week is one of biggest things before the election day. I take my coffee mug and head to my office room "I just check my schedule and my mails first, then we do something fun" I promise to Allen and Cara. Allen is thrilled "Can we go to hunt the dinosaul?" I let Cara explain and leave with a smile.

There is no new mails, some planned visits to schools, hospitals and shopping malls for Thursday and for Friday in calendar. I read news also, drink my coffee with time. There is some argument going on with Cara and Allen, but nothing serious. There is some pictures about City Council meeting and short reviews from our speeches. They predict sure victory to Four and I'm not happy when I read that. Why should he win? There can be some skeletons in his closet. Then I remember what he told me on phone, about Beatrice's child. How could that be done? He said that the Bureau had used Alexa as a surrogate mother, but they couldn't have Beatrice's cells or could they? If they had used her blood samples to get the needed chromosomes then it would be highly unethical. I take my phone and call to Four.

It takes a long time before he answers, sounding sleepy and like he's having a hangover. "What now Caleb?" he asks as an answer. "You told me something on Sunday evening that I need to discuss more, but it's a private matter and I don't want to talk about it on phone. Can we meet?" He is silent for a long time and I ask "Four?". Then he clears his throat and answers "how do I say this to you… I lied to you, you don't have a niece, if that's the matter you want to talk. I just needed your interiors phone number and had to tell a lie to get it." I truly wasn't waiting this sort of answer. "But, but…." I don't know what to say. "Hey, get over it! You know yourself how beautiful and smart girl Alexa is and I wished to hire her as my assistant when I will get that job in Government. Now I've lost her, as well as you, thanks to your wife. But if there is nothing else then I must say bye, I'm going to be late from my meeting soon."

I don't know what to think now, what to feel. Had Cara done something, said something to Alexa and had that been the reason she left? Why? Only reason I would think was that one time she saw Alexa rubbing my shoulders after a meeting, but it was innocent. She cannot be jealous, she could do same every night if she wanted. And what had she said to Alexa, to make her so scared? I have to ask that from her, but not now when kids are awake. So I have to wait for evening and master a plan that makes her willing to talk.

Day passes slowly, kids need much attention and from time to time I just look to Cara and wonder what she had done. I note that Cara notices my looks and gets little annoyed before evening. When kids fall asleep finally I open a bottle of wine and offer her a glass. She takes it but looks me curious "What is in your mind? You have been so weird hole day." she asks. "Weird? I have just been wondering what I heard this morning. That you had something to do with Alexa's resigning in such haste." She shakes her head, sips some wine. "No way, who said that? I hardly never met Alexa, why would I get her to resign? You said yourself many times how much you appreciate her hard work and how skilled and smart she is." I look to Cara, she is not looking back to me. "Cara… I have my sources and this is one that I trust." I reply. Cara sighs. "Okay, I told to one friend about that I found you and Alexa kissing and she had been rubbing your shoulders and flirting with you. I wanted some consolation, I was annoyed then and didn't mean anything, I just said it to one friend. I said nothing to Alexa and never have said that she must resign.".

I look to Cara and something doesn't match. And how would Four know that my wife was behind of this. "Was that the reason why Four was so angry to you yesterday?" I ask and she nods. "I think that Four fancied that sl... girl just as much as you did." She says and I rub my temples. "No, I did not fancy her. She was a great help, she organized meetings and had connections you could only imagine. I admired her, her wisdom and her skills. I did not fancy her. What did Four say about her to you?".Cara sips some more wine "well, he said that she was good in bed and he wanted more nights with her.". I raise my eyebrows "really?". I take a hard look to Cara's eyes "well... no. He said that there was some unfinished business between them and he needed her assistance in some case that is not solved yet." I can see that Cara is upset about something. "And do you know what that might bee?" I must ask and she sighs "it was something about Bureaus work, he asked a lot of that, what I know about Matty's work and so on. He was surprised when I told that I'm going to work for Bureau after the election.".I must add "if I don't get a job in Government."

"Have you thought about what you will do if you don't get elected?" she asks. "I'm not sure yet, I think that working in research would be nice after this brake and it would mean that I'm more at home. Sure that would help when you return to work." I must admit. She smiles a bit "and we won't have to move, if you don't get elected, right?". I shake my head "no we don't have to move, we have enough room for kids and us." She yawns and looks her now empty wine glass. "Did you put some truth serum in this?" she asks and smiles. "No, but I thought about it for a while. Truth serum is not that easy to get anyhow so it was only wine. Next time I might add some serum." She giggles "No, no you wouldn't. Trust me, I know you. You wouldn't do that". And I must admit that she knows me far too well.


	17. Four's pov 8

\- Tobias pov -

I leave the police station and it takes a while for me to understand that I'm fallowed. I curse under my breath and make notes. There was a man by police station and he walked few steps behind about half the way to hospital and then they switched to another man. And when I arrive to hospital there is some dark blue car parked in parking place, same car was parked in front of police station little earlier. That later man, who had followed me by foot, walks to that car. Not very clever way to fallow someone I'd say but if they want to let me know that they fallow me then it was efficient. And by they looks I figure that they are Bureau's men. I didn't think that they would be so stupid!

First I go to see my mother, she is in normal surgical ward. They say that she should stay hospitalized for few days more and she agrees. I can see that she has been crying, I guess that she mourns after Thomas, her lost... lover? Friend? I don't know what Thomas was to her, I knew that she had someone in her life or that what she had said. I don't want to ask, don't want to know. I sit there a while, she gets some comfort from that even we don't talk much. No need to talk and I have never been a chatter neither have she finally speaks, tells that she had heard my speech that I gave in City Hall, it has been in news. She said that I had sounded like my father, that sure is not a compliment. She said that she can very well understand my passion for politics, I have said that I don't want to do anything with guns anymore and through politics I can have a peaceful influence on public matters."But you just remind so much of your father that sometimes it kind of scares me, Tobias." She says. I don't admit that it's one of my fears, that I become just like him. I don't want that!

Then she asks what I know about that hustle on River Avenue and how is Johanna. I must tell her that I don't know much about what has happened and I haven't seen Johanna yet. "And now I must leave you mother, I'm going to see her, I got permission from police." I tell to her and she nods. "Tell my best wishes for her and speedy recovery." . When I stand up she raises a bit from her bed, just like wanting to hug me, then winces. "These stitches hurt" she explains. "Then don't get up" I tell to her and leave, without hugging. It's something that doesn't come naturally to me. I briefly turn by door, look at her. She is there, looking me, seemingly sad. I smile a bit, raise my hand, she raises hers. "See you mother." I say and leave. Why there comes a sudden bang of quilt? Why I feel like I have been a total jerk?

There is no longer media people waiting in front of ICU and I can enter in peace. There is a normal hustle in ICU and I go to see if I can find that same nurse that promised take me to see Johanna, same one that was taking care of my mother on Saturday.. I find her at nurses station, talking to a doctor. She raises her head and looks to me, then raises 3 fingers and mouthes wait, listening and writing down notes to pad then that doctor is giving in rapid pace. Doctor keeps on talking and she nods time to time, I don't understand what they are talking about. Finally they finish and doctor leaves to see some another patient and nurse looks to me. "Come" is only she says and walks to doors that are at behind. I notice that there is a police sitting next those doors, haven't noticed before. So they are keeping a guard but why.

Police looks up when we approach and he nods to nurse, then glares to me. "No visitors" he point out. He stand up in front of the door. "I have commissioners permit as well as doctors." I reply and he looks me from head to toe. "And you are?". I smirk "I'm Tobias Eaton, mrs Reyes assistant.". He looks his pad, taps it few times and then looks back to me. "Seems to be okay, there have been some corrections it seems. Sorry for earlier, mr Eaton." he replies and steps aside.

I wasn't prepared to see Johanna in this condition that she is. She is beaten badly, her hair is shaved of her head on other side. There is bruises, cuts, stitches and lots of white bandages. Her lips are swollen and there is a ventilators tube going in her mouth. One nurse is sitting there by her bed and that nurse than came with me releases her. "Go Marie, have a break, I take care of Johanna for a while. She has a visitor and I adjust her medication, doctors orders, he had looked the postTraumaScan results.". Marie hesitates a while, then shrugs and leaves. The nurse that had helped me looks to me. "You can sit there by her bed, take her hand and talk to her. She is under a medication that keeps her in coma, she was unconscious when they got her here. There is some swelling in her brains and we are trying to minimize damages with coma as well as lowering her body temperature. She was beaten badly with some heavy blunt object. And by the way, my name is Laura, I was one of last initiatives at Amity. I remember you and your friends when you spend time there but I didn't know that you were her assistant. By then when you were there they called you in some different name?". I sit down and touch Johanna's hand. It's cold, like she was dead. Suddenly there is a flashback about Uriah and Tris, I feel shivers going down my spine. I see ventilator pumping air to her lungs, I look monitors and see her heart beating. "I was called Four, my friends still call me by that name." I finally reply to her. She smiles "Yes, I remember... you were that number guy. Then there was that blond girl and two other boys and Marcus Eaton... he is your father?" I have to nod "yes he is."

There is a silence, only sounds come from respirator and other machines. There is lots of tubes going to Johanna and some coming out from her. Laura adjusts some medications, adds some more. She reads different pages of data from her pad, reads doctors orders. "You can talk to her, I guess that she can hear you even through that chemical coma" she says when I just sit there, holding Johanna's cold hand. "I told you Johanna to call me, I would have helped you, there was no need for you to get hurt. I try to understand why you felt that you had to do that all by yourself. It just makes me so angry to see how badly they have beaten you, they had no reason for this. And I will do all that is in my power to pay back for those who hurt please get better soon so you can point out who had been those who attacked to you." I tell to her and see a single tear appear to her right eye corner, the one that is not so swollen. Tear drops and then there is no more reactions.

After a while Marie returns and we must leave. Laura asks when I'm leaving that have I left my phone number to them. I tell that I left it earlier and she takes a paper to her hand, shows it to me. "Is this that number". I look to paper and there is no number but a text. " _Girls are safe, don't try to find. They will fallow you_." I look to Laura and nod "yes" is only that I can answer. And indeed they are fallowing me, all the way from hospital to hotel. And when I get to my room there is a note that has been slipped under door. "Leave Alexa alone." it says only. I sneer. What else could I do, I don't know where she is.

I think my options. We were leaving tomorrow back to Providence with Johanna, but Johanna isn't going anywhere. I have some meetings at end of week but I have few days of so in theory I could go to Milwaukee to search Alexa. Or then I could leave it. There is no use for me to search girl Johanna had rescued, if I do that they will find girls. And so far I guess that I'm fallowed by Bureaus men, not police. Then one option is to call to Matthew and that is what I do. I doesn't take long for him to answer. "Hello Four or should I call you Tobias?" he asks. "I'm not sure, my friends call me Four but are you my friend." I reply and he says immediately "Then I call you Four, but that is not the reason you called to me, or is it?". He is right and he is not stupid, I must say and reply "No, I want to meet you and discuss about Bureau's and Government's relationship and how could we enhance it – you said it yourself that people from Government aren't fully appreciating your hard work and we don't give full value for that. You need money and I'm sure that I will be in government after election, not Caleb. So then it's in your best interest to convince me that the work you are doing is valid, legal and needs all funding it can get from Government." I hear Matthew tapping something when I speak and then he says "You're right, Caleb is going nowhere, it's sure, the place in Government belongs to you. But we sure can talk, I have some free time tomorrow morning at 10:30 am, if that's okay for you.". I don't have to think, I accept his offer. "See you then." I say and he hangs up. I smirk, busy man.

Then I remember that I have some unfinished business with Cara. I text to her. " _Will you come to see me or do I come to see you?_ ". It doesn't take long when she reply " _Kids are going to beds, meet me downstairs at 8 pm._ " I check what time it is, I have about 20 minutes to get there. " _Same place?_ " I text to her and she replies " _Same place_.". They live about 10 minutes walk away, other corner of Millennium Park. I just have to get there and I don't want to take my shadows with me. Somehow I must loose those but how, they are waiting outside. Then I remember that there is a car park under hotel and it extends under the park also. I go there and it doesn't take long to find out where the security cameras are, most of them are not operating. I walk from shadow to shadow, avoiding cameras. There is not much cars parked in there and there is a lot of room to vanish. When I get to furthest exit I check surroundings. There is nobody there, they are not looking after this exit. "Amateurs" I think and slip to parks shadows. I'm few minutes early at Prior's apartment.

It takes over 10 minutes for Cara to come, I'm just about to call to her when she comes. "Sorry, it took longer than I expected. Beata wouldn't sleep." she explains. "I was just about to call to you if you had forgotten." I look to her and continue "I have few questions." She sighs "I know, I was expecting this. Just ask.". I look to her, the young girl that I once knew has turned to an adult woman. "What do you know about Bureaus business?" I ask and she looks surprised. "I know that they are doing a lot of researching and creating solutions that will help us to make our living environment better. And then there is those infertility centers as well some welfare centers that they are operating, helping out in adoptions and stuff like that." I look to her eyes and I see there no hesitation, she is telling all she knows. "What about those rumors that they are researching and preparing so called pure humans. That they get chromosomes for example from blood samples and mix those just to get a so called perfect combinations." She shrugs "I don't know if it's possible, they have tried it with mouses and rabbits, making better test animals but it's more difficult with humans." I nod. "And do you know what are limitations about the usage of blood samples for example if the human that the sample is from has died." She looks shocked. "That would be illegal. There are laws against that you know. They wouldn't do that, as far as I know.". I sigh. "What you know about those welfare centers?". She smiles a bit "I have done some charity work in those, as well as Caleb has. They are helping for example poor people that cannot afford other health care and then there is also some social work done and they help also girls that have got pregnant and cannot give home for kids, so they take care of those girls and help with adoption process. Some girls have serious issues with their health also and not just physical health also their mental health can be broken."

I nod, I have a lot to think about. Cara's phone rings, she looks to it and shuts it. "You're sure about this?" I have to ask and she nods. "Just so sure than I can be. Look Four, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called to M...my friend about Alexa but I didn't know that it will lead up her retiring, Caleb could have used her help before election. Just that the situation was like that when I saw them..." Her phone rings again and she texts something. "Is there something else you want to know? Caleb is wondering where I have gone, I didn't say that I'm going to meet you." she asks. I sigh "If this, what you told is true then we're done but if I find out that you have lied to me then I wouldn't want to be in your pants.".

I want to meet those girls that Johanna rescued more than ever but I know that, as Laura warned, I would only lead Bureau's men to them. If Cara is telling the truth then Alexa have lied to me but why? If Cara is lying then it just might just be that she doesn't know what Bureau really does. Then I remember what Cara said when we were having lunch "Whose child your daughter is?". I see hurt in her eyes. "She is..." she looks away, then back to me "she is mine and" she blushes and looks to her toes "Matty's". I had guessed it right."And you're sure and Caleb doesn't know?". She hesitates a while "Really, I have to go now... and of course he doesn't know, what do you think. That I would tell to him that his little girl is not his? And don't you even think about telling this to him yourself. This is not your business, it's something that I did." she says and leaves. I get somehow a feeling that she didn't tell the whole truth about Beata, I don't know why.

I walk through the dark park thinking about all what I have heard . When I approach the hotel I can see a dark blue car parked on other side of road, two men sitting in it. They haven't seen me so I go to cafeteria which is open 24/7, get three take-away coffees, few chocolate chip cookies and couple of sandwiches. Then I knock to cars window and when a man opens it, looking really surprised I give two coffees and cookies for them. "These are for you, I like to make sure that you won't fall asleep when you are tailing me." I smirk and they blush. "I'm going now to hotel and not leaving anywhere, so it's good night!" I continue and walk to hotels main entrance whistling. I hear car window closing.


	18. Caleb's pov 8

Thanks for your comments TillyRosie and Savanah Rose. Beata's origins might be revealed later ;-) But to who and when?

oOoOoOo

\- Caleb pov -

Wednesday morning is not different than others, it starts early. Only exception from yesterday is that Allen has his science-daycare day today and this time I take him there. Allen is thrilled as always, he loves his daycare place and nannies there. We walk hand in hand through the park and Allen points out things that he sees on the way. It's funny how different his view is compared to mine but somehow it's really soothing. When we get to daycare we are almost late, program start at 9:30 am. Allen takes of his coat and shoes, then runs to wash his hands and to get his own white jacket. I lift his coat from floor and hang it to his locker, place shoes to shoe rack near doors.

Other kids are already starting this days studies, they have big boxes of building blocks. I look to those and one nanny explains "You must be Allen's father, your son looks just like you. We are going to do some work with DNA today, so these blocks model us the DNA structure and we can build and make modifications to that. These are quite similar than those that we make molecular shapes sometimes." I resist my urge to roll eyes, Allen is 3 and half years old soon and he is playing with DNA? What did I know about DNA when I was at his age? "They seem to like it, its a fun way to start a day" I say. But that is what we are paying for, a science based education at daycare and Allen loves it. He rushes to his table and grabs big box of blocks. "Have fun!" I tell to Allen but he doesn't even listen. "Are you coming to get him after lunch or are he staying for afternoon classes also?" nanny asks and I look surprised. I thought that it was morning classes only that he was having, I didn't know about afternoons. "I come to get him after lunch, I have a day off today so we are going to have some dad-son time at afternoon.". She smiles and nods "Very well mr Prior, see you at 1 pm".

I text to Cara and ask about afternoon classes and she replies that Allen had taken some of those in last months, he had been so interested in and Cara haven't wanted him to be disappointed. After all Beata takes so much Cara's time and I have been at Council meetings, away from home, so it has been easier that way. We organize todays schedule, Cara is taking Beata to doctors appointment, it's time for her to have some vaccinations and I have few hours to spend any way I want. I walk towards a big library, the place were I spend most of my time as an initiative. Just before library I see a group of kids having fun in playground. Then I recognize who is the woman with them, it's Shauna. She is walking and climbing with kids and her movements look natural and easy. I stop there and smile, someone has done good job with her walking supports. It takes time for Shauna to see me, kids are having a lunch brake and then she comes to me.

"Hi Caleb, what are you looking at?" she greets with a big smile. "Hi Shauna. I was just going to library but then I saw your group and I have to say that I'm stunned. You're moving so good!". Shauna laughs "It has taken a lot of time and practicing and Matthew has helped with braces but now they are operating just fine. You should see me running! It's a shame that they took that old zip line away from Hancock building." I shiver, something like that isn't really my cup of tea. I remember how Zeke teased me to be a Pansycake when I didn't ride the line in Beatrice's funeral back then. Shauna sees my shivers and laughs. "But how are you? I see you so rarely these days, you and your wife don't come to our meetings and you didn't show up to my birthday party at weekend.". I didn't know that she had birthday or a party. "I'm sorry, we have been so occupied with our kids, taking care of them is a full time job really. And then there has been my work." She nods "Council member Prior, soon to be in Government?" I smile a bit "hopefully but you know who the other candidate is." She nods "it's my favorite number" and winks.

"So you and Cara are happy together, married with two kids" She says after a while, a sad note in her voice. "Yes we are and how are you and Zeke?" I ask and immediately regret asking when I see her expression, mixture of hurt, sadness and shame. "I... well, we are no longer together. I think that it's better that way. Zeke needs more than I can offer.". I look in her eyes "I always thought that you were everything that he needed, what more can you be?". She shakes her head "Now look at me, I'm just this paralyzed woman doing some charity work. I live my life in pain, I cannot walk, not even stand without these braces and I cannot have kids. Zeke is... he needs and deserves much more, a real woman, not a freak like me.". I hear anger in her voice and I must apologize "I'm sorry, I have never seen stronger woman, full of spirit, zest for life. When I look to you I see a role model for every paralyzed kid and grown up, someone who hasn't given up. What I don't see is a freak, you are perfect, beautiful, funny, brave, selfless. So please, don't give up with Zeke. If he's the man for you then keep him close and make sure that he realizes that you are his woman. The one and only."

She looks away, then to her watch and claps her hands. "Kids, let's continue! Lunch brake is over!" She shouts in loud voice but I'm not sure did I see correctly. It's like there is some tears in her eyes. Finally she looks to me and says "Thanks Caleb, you're the best. Say hi to Cara for me." And then she runs away, little wobbly, but she runs. I smile, just what I promised to her, some day she will run again.

I still have time before I must pick Allen from daycare so I head to library where I was going at first place. I'm just browsing there, updating my knowledge, looking some research studies on projects where I was involved years ago when I was working in laboratories. A lot have happened since and it would take some hard studying to catch up them but it can be done. I have a backup plan for time after election, I will return to research team. Not Bureaus research but governments, doing some environmental researching.

Then it's time to go and get Allen from daycare. When I step outside from library Shauna and kids are gone and playground is empty. I consider myself lucky, I have Cara and kids. We might argue with Cara and she sometimes drives me crazy but most of times are good. Life haven't been kind and easy for Shauna or Four. I once asked from Four could he ever forgive to me that I let Beatrice to die. He said that he cannot forgive it to himself, nor to Tris, nor to me. It must be hard living life with such loss and now after seeing Shauna it has not been easy for her either. To love and then lose it, sure it changes you permanently, even when you do it willingly.

I arrive to daycare 10 minutes too early and Allen is still eating. When he sees that I'm standing there, by doorway he has a tantrum. "NO, I'M NOT GOING!" he shouts. It takes over 15 minutes for him to calm down and finally he comes with me, just little sobbing from time to time. I hug him tightly and he sobers "But it's so much fun in hele, we get to play with all cool toys and I didn't finish my DNA model yet". I pat his small back "you can finish it on Friday." He sighs. "I wish I can bee hele all the time!". I smile to him "That makes me happy that you love this so much but we have some man-things to do also.". He looks me in my eyes "We do daddy? We go now hunting?". I laugh "No, something better" and wink my eye. "What daddy?" he wants to know. "Just put your jacket on and shoes. Then you will see..." I dry his cheeks and he runs to his locker. He waves his hand happily to nannies, sends some flying kisses. "See you Fliday!" he shouts. They laugh and wave back.

We head to the barber shop and Allen is thrilled. They cut our hair short and Allen keeps on looking himself on mirror with interest. I look him, I don't like mirrors nor looking myself from one and as always I wonder how different little boy he is than what I was when I was at his age. Life was different then, we had so many rules that guided our every day life. Well, we still have, I still have. I'm stiff, like Cara calls me, Abnegation stays tight in my inheritance. Allen doesn't have same burden, I think that he is raised more like an Erudite boy had been risen, like Cara and Will were. I wonder if Will had been like Allen when he was at his age. Maybe not, he transferred to Dauntless. And probably Cara or Dara had told sometime how much Allen reminds them about Will at same age. I know that factions are gone but still I think them from time to time.

When our hair is cut we head to Mercenary Square. It's near old Dauntless head quarters, best bakery shops are there. I know how much Allen loves donuts as well as Cara does. Besides there is one good tailor, I need a new suit for Providence. Of course Allen sees the bakery and wants to go there straight away. "Look Allen, we can go to bakery after daddy has a new suit ordered first." I explain and for my wonder Allen doesn't protest. "Please, don't touch to anything" I say to him and then greet my tailor. He takes my measurements and writes down the order. I know that all of this could be taken as self-indulgence, going to barber and ordering a suit from tailor but that is something I'm willing to do. Allen sits on small chair and looks us, his little head tilted. "You look good daddy!" he says and I smile to him. Tailor looks to Allen and asks "How old are you?" and he replies like it's self-evident "I'm 3 yeals, 5 months and 17 days old, I have nevel counted how many houls or minutes.". Tailor smiles to him "And what are you going to be when you grow up? A politician like your father?". Allen shakes his head "No, I will be a dlagonhuntel ol a fileman." Tailor laughs "Good jobs both, I like that dragonhunter better, I could be one too if I weren't a tailor." He finishes measuring me and looks his schedule. "Your suit will be ready for fitting on next weeks Friday, I call you if there is some delay." I pay half of suits price now, as always and Allen asks "Can we now get those donuts with flosting and splinkles?". I smile to him and tailor laughs "Those are the best ones! It was nice meeting you, soon to be dragonhunter. Take care of your dad.". I feel pride over Allen and his good behavior.

At bakery is warm and new batch of donuts has just come for sale. "Tell to the lady which donut you want" I whisper to Allen and for a while I think that he will refuse. Then he lifts his chin up and smile. "Hi, I want that pink one with flosting and splinkles, please". The girl behind the desk smiles and then looks to me "and something for you, sir?". I smile to her back "No thank you, I'm not in sweets but I take two of those heart shaped ones to go please." She packs those heart shaped in box and gives one pink donut wrapped in paper for Allen. "Can I eat this now?" he asks with eyes wide and I nod. "Yes you can eat it on our way home, if you want.". He giggles "oh, you ale the best daddy, I love you!". Girl smiles and puts one pink donut in box. "This is an extra on the house for your lovely son, I wish I had one like him too. " I thank her as well as Allen does, his little face already smeared with frosting.

We get to home, Cara and Beata have not arrived yet and first I order Allen to wash his hands and his face. Luckily all clothes are clean so no need to wash those. Then I start preparing dinner, something I like to do but seldom have time for. Allen comes to kitchen and asks if he could help me. I give him little duties, nothing that he could harm himself. Cara and Beata arrive when we are almost finished and Cara looks exhausted. "A long day for you?" I ask and she nods "Yes, Beata had some sort of allergic reaction after vaccination so we had to stay there longer than I thought. Nothing to worry anymore and I'm happy to see that you have made dinner for us." She takes some food for Beata from freezer, she had made some baby food for her.

On dinner Allen keeps telling what he had done in science-daycare and then what else we did today and Cara laughs. "You have had a busy day with daddy" she says and beams to me. "I'm a lucky boy, this was the best day evel!" Allen says and it feels good. Same time I feel quilt for working too much and leaving them too often because of work. I promise to myself that I will spend more time at home if I don't get elected to the Government. This day had surely been one of best days in my life also.

When kids are asleep I remember donuts and Cara laughs "I knew you would go and get some, even though you say that you are not into sweets yourself." She eats one heart and leaves another heart, and Allen's pink donut, for tomorrow. "I met Shauna ans she said hi to you also. Wondered why we never attend to any of their parties anymore." I tell to her and she sighs "Well, when she has kids she will know... oh..." then she remembers Shauna's injuries. "How wash she?". I smile and reply "She looked good, walking and climbing, she does some sort of charity work, she had a group of kids with her, they were in a playground near that old Erudite library. Running was a bit wobbly but I think it could be fixed with little adjustment on her braces."

I sit to sofa and after a while Cara comes there, rests her head to my shoulder. "You were going to office tomorrow?" she asks and I nod "I have to empty my stuff from there, I'm not going back after the election, what ever the result is.". Cara turns her head and looks me surprised like I haven't told her earlier. "Then what are you going to do?" she asks and I shrug. "Not sure yet, some researching maybe. I miss that time when we worked together in laboratory.". She smiles "maybe Matthew can give some job for you also, if you truly are going back to laboratories and doing research work. We could work together as we used to do before kids." I don't say that I don't want to work for the Bureau, it would be the last option for me.


	19. Four's pov 9

\- Tobias pov -

After getting back to hotel I eat my sandwiches and drink coffee and look what time it is. It's just 10 pm and I have nothing to do. I think for a while what to do and then end up to hotels bar. I think that I will get a drink or two. I know I shouldn't, it doesn't solve anything but still. I'm too angry for sleeping.

At bar lights are dimmed and some music is on background. Bartender pours me whiskey and I sit to corner table. No one is paying any attention to me but I see everyone in the bar. No one that I know. I get my phone, play with it. I have a urge to call to Alexa but then I remember what Caleb said, she had left her phone to office and she is herself in Milwaukee. I think that I will go to there myself, after meeting Matthew tomorrow but how would I find Alexa there? Her dad won't let me meet her. Before I know I have drunk whiskey and go to get some more. Bartender looks to me and asks "rough day?". I'm not in mood to talk so I just nod. "Same?" he asks and points to my glass. I nod and he pours. After finishing two glasses he asks "Want to talk now?". I'm refusing at first but then I nod. "Just... well... I met this girl and for a moment I thought that she could be something more than just a some random girl. She could help me overcome what happened 10 years ago. But then she just disappeared and there's no way I could find her again. And then her dad came to threaten me... We are both adults you know."

Bartender nods, pours one whiskey more and places cork to bottle and bottle to shelf. "If she feels same for you than you feel for her then she will come and find you. I'm sure for that. But drinking here doesn't help you finding her. I can give you some phone numbers, my friends might be able to help you. And if you can't find her then a man like you can get any girl he wants, I think." I smile shortly "well, problem here is that I don't want any girl. I had one, it was the one and only, love of lifetime. She died. And then I found one that could be... something. Got interested first time in years and she vanishes without a goodbye. So I think that I won't be finding anyone. There cannot be anyone.". Bartender looks in distance, then gets a shot glasses for me and for himself, pours some vodka. "I know. I found one girl, perfect angel. Never dared to tell her that and now she is married with my best friend and they have twins. Let's drink for lost love!". I drink the vodka, it's not my favorite and it burns when going down. Then I stand up, shake hands with the bartender and walk to my room.

A quick shower and then I get to bed and fall asleep as fast as my head hits the pillow.

 _I walk in fields, near Amity dome. Grain is golden, sun is shining and leaves on trees are red, yellow, orange. It's a fall, winter coming, first cold mornings, light turns to colder shades. There is two girls, playing hopscotch together, laughing, yelling. One of girls is older and other is three, four years younger. I look to them, older must be Kiara but younger is someone I don't know. Then comes Tris, hurries to girls "come, we must go, storm is coming!". Girls protest but she takes their hands in hers and together they run to shelter. I'm left alone and rain starts to pour. I just stand there, cannot move. Then comes a twister, hits ground and wipes everything away; grain, leaves and that shelter that hold Tris and girls. They are gone and I couldn't save them._

I wake up when my phone rings. It's Tuesday morning and it's almost 9:00 am. I rarely sleep so late. Phone keeps on ringing and I know that I should answer, even when I see that it's Caleb that is calling. "What now Caleb?" I ask for an answer. "You told me something on Sunday evening that I need to discuss more, but it's a private matter and I don't want to talk about it on phone. Can we meet?" He says. Of course he wants to know more and I think for a long time what to answer. "Four?" He says, question in his voice and I clear my throat before answering "How do I say this to you… I lied to you, you don't have a niece, if that's the matter you want to talk. I just needed your interiors phone number and had to tell a lie to get it." I don't want to lie to him but it's safer this way, knowing how close his wife and Matthew are. "But, but…." He stutters and I snap. "Hey, get over it! You know yourself how beautiful and smart girl Alexa is and I wished to hire her as my assistant when I will get that job in Government. Now I've lost her, as well as you, thanks to your wife. But if there is nothing else then I must say bye, I'm going to be late from my meeting soon." And I hang up the phone. Surely, I had enough of that conversation. I get up from bed and put on clothes, this time I decide to wear a suit, just to make meeting with Matthew little more formal.

When I step out from hotel same car is parked on opposite side of road. It starts when men inside see me and drives slowly to me. "Hop in" driver says. I look to them "you really believe I would do that?" I ask and they nod. "Hey, we know you are going to the Bureaus headquarters, you have an appointment at 10:30 there. We can take you or you will be late. What ever you want." He closes the window and I think for a while. I don't have many options if I don't want to be late. So I hop to backseat. We don't talk, men in front are silent and I'm not a chatter. The Bureaus headquarters are still located in O'hare airport and seeing it again gives me shivers. I remember far too well the first time when we got there. Meeting David. Tris dying, seeing her body. It all comes back. Then I see that Matthew is standing there, at front doors, waiting for us. Car stops and I step out. Matthew smiles and comes to shake my hand. "So nice to see you, Four. Let's go to upstairs!" He says with a big smile.

The meeting room is filled with light and I can see Chicago from here. "Puts everything in perspective" Matthew says. I feel little nausea, I really don't like high places, never have, never will. "Please, sit down. Would you like to have something to drink?" he points to towards comfortable looking chairs. "Nothing thank you, I just had a breakfast before I came. He pours some water to his glass and looks to me. "You said that you wanted to talk about Bureau's and Government's relationship and how could we enhance it. So tell what is in your mind". I smile a bit. "Well, if we want a good relationship then everything is out and open, no secrets, clear as glass. I want know everything and I really mean everything that Bureau is doing, every research, every project." He shakes his head "I think that it's not possible, as you know we do a lot of infertility treatment and not every couple want to share their infertility story to everyone." I look to him "I didn't mean that you should reveal all patient information, I guess that there are laws against it. You have responsibilities like a confidentiality obligation. No patient information needed, but I need to know, I need your confirmation, that Bureau works with infertility treatments." He nods "yes, we do that and lots of more."

"Like what?" I ask and he hesitates "Well, we give all sorts of health services, including helping teenage mothers and organizing adoption services when needed. We own a lot of companies that for example give daycare for kids, private schools, houses for elderly people. Then there are many research programs going on like ones that are making our environment more suitable for humans, making better plants that produce more yield or helping humans in their everyday needs like for example we are innovating new gears for handicapped people to help them live their life fully. And so on." I nod. "So I figure that you do work with DNA, among all other things?". He hesitates again, licks his lower lip before answering "yes, we do work with DNA when we are producing better plants."

I can see that he's getting nervous and he seems to know where my questions are leading. "Why did you say on phone that you know that Caleb is not going to be elected to the Government?". I change the subject but not for easier one. He smiles briefly "Let's just say that we know something about him that could ruin his hole career and his wife doesn't want to move to Providence. And I need her for leading one of my research teams." I smile and ask "Do you mean that you know or that the Bureau has some information about Caleb." He hesitates again before replying "Both, I know and the Bureau knows." I nod "So you are saying that you are having an affair with Cara?" I ask and look his expression. "NO!" he replies and blushes rapidly to bright red. I just tilt my head a bit and smile "No?". He doesn't reply and I continue "And I bet you know a thing or more about me.". He twitches, then smiles. "Yes, we know." I tilt my head and ask innocently "What?" He sighs "Well, let's just say that Erica Matthews is someone you know and you want to know more about her, get in touch with her." I nod "and you could tell me something, right?". He shakes his head but then gives me a folded paper. "I cannot tell you, it would break the secrecy." He says and nods towards the paper. I put it to pocket and nod. "Very well then."

"Okay, if you don't want to talk about that then... I have heard rumors that Bureau is doing some work with chromosomes and you use surrogate mothers, sometimes under aged, to carry embryos that have been manufactured. You use for example blood samples where you isolate chromosomes and create so called pure humans." He shakes his head. "We have studied DNA and chromosomes but only with plants and animals that we use as test animals. And we use sometimes surrogate mothers, but only when needed as an infertility treatment. There have been couples that want a child but cannot carry one themselves, for example your friends Amar and George. Neither of them have an uterus to carry an embryo. And when we use a surrogate it's after a long physical and psychological testing, we document everything and write legal contracts – we really cannot afford to do any illegal stuff." He pauses for a while, thinking, sipping some water and continues. "Sometimes there are really young teenager that get pregnant and we don't do abortions so they will give birth and we place the child for adoption. But they are not surrogates and their pregnancies haven't been manufactured nor planned. Embryos that they are carrying are not ours. I think that someone is mixing terms and trying to discredit us and our hard work.".

I nod and then say "I have heard that Bureaus genetics research team has made at least one embryo that has half of my chromosomes." I'm not sure but it's like Matthew looks a bit of paler now and I continue "and half of Tris. I have got this information from a woman that claimed that she had been the surrogate mother and she had given birth to this girl, little over five years ago." Matthew doesn't say anything, he's just playing with his pen. Then he shakes his head "No, I haven't heard about that but I have been a leader here only about 18 months or so, little under two years, so if they have done something like that it has been before my time. Do you know the identity of that mother?". I look directly to his eyes, he doesn't even blink. "I think you know that very well" I reply but he just shakes his head. "First time that I hear anything about this." Could it be so? "What if I tell you that I have one photography about a girl that is very heavily pregnant and then I have a photography of an 5 years old girl that reminds a lot of Tris." Matthew is just playing with pen and I'm getting annoyed because I'm not getting any reply. I inhale deeply, calm myself down. "Do you have those photos with you?" he asks finally. "No, I don't have." I reply and change subject.

"Then lets talk about Bureaus funding. Where you get all money for your operations when the Government doesn't support your research work?". This is easier for him to answer and he seems relieved. "Well we get money from our patients and then there are some investors who are funding us." I nod "And I bet you cannot give investors names?". He smiles and shakes his head "No, I cannot.". I look to him and he seems to know that I know already few investors by name. "What sort of budget you have?" I ask and he hands me a paper. "This is our budget for next quarter alone." I look the numbers and whistle. Not a small number. "On yearly basis our budget is about three times Chicago's budget but you must see that we work on other cities also." He says and smirks. The Bureau is bigger than I thought.

There is a knock at his door and older woman opens it "Excuse me" she says and Matthew looks to her "What now?". She hesitates a while "I didn't know sir that you have a visitor but there is a urgent phone call on line 1 waiting and you didn't reply. The caller says that it's really urgent" she emphases two last words. I stand up "I see that you are busy Matthew and most of matters that I wanted talk with you have been solved so I leave you now and give a call or something if I have something else to ask. And of course you are free to call me any time." We shake hands and he turns to his desk, picks his phone and looks to callers number. I look from door back to him and see that he has gone a bit paler. Before doors close I can hear him answering "Yes James, you had some urgent matter.".

Two men that had given me ride to Bureaus headquarters are waiting for me. "Are you going back to hotel?" they ask and I nod. It's easier to get a ride this way. It doesn't take long before arriving to hotel and I head to my room and change my clothes. Then I remember the folded paper that Matthew gave to me and pick it from suits pocket. There is only Alexa's full name, her photograph and three addresses; one in Chicago, one in Providence and one in Milwaukee. And a phone number, same that I have already. I fold paper again and place it between Johanna's notebook next to Kiara's photo that just fits in there, place them in my leather jackets inside pocket, near my heart. I'm more me when I wear Dauntless style black jeans and t-shirt. I'm going to hospital and because there is nothing to hide I walk out from front door. Again car pulls next to me but this time I refuse to take a ride, I want to walk and think. It's not so long way anyway.

At hospital everything has stayed same, mother looks little bit better and she says that they are releasing her on Thursday or on Friday if there isn't any setbacks. And Johanna is still under heavy medication and in coma. They have taken the respirator away and use a different machine for her ventilation. Marie is her nurse now and she explains when I ask about that ventilation system that this one that they are using is better for her lungs and doctors think that she will need breathing support for a long time, head trauma is so severe. "Is there a possibility that she will never recover?" I have to ask and Marie looks to me with an apologize. "I'm not a doctor and I cannot give you any promises or diagnoses but what I have heard it's possible that she will stay in coma after we reduce the medication." I nod "and when are you going to do that?" I ask and she shrugs. "It all depends on doctors orders, but normally it's after week or two." I nod. " So she will be here hospitalized for a long time, if nothing worse happens." She taps her pad, then looks to me "I think, and I'm not sure I must add, that she will be here at least 4 to 6 weeks, if she survives." I sigh. "I'm going back to Providence tomorrow so when anything happens, good or bad, please contact me immediately, day or night. And I will come here, any time when she needs me as soon as I can." She smiles to me, pats my shoulder and says "I leave you two alone for a while." She looks to monitors one last time and I sit down to chair next to Johanna's bed. I'm sure that they are monitoring her and have some audio and or video surveillance also so I just sit there and hold her hand. When Marie comes back she looks to us and says "I'm sorry but it's time for you to leave". I stand up and then kiss Johanna's cheek "Get well, soon. I need you, you are like a mother to me, you are more than mother. And don't you dare to die, I don't give you a permission for that! I'll come to see you when ever you need me." Again a single tear rolls down on her cheek, same that I kissed. Then I look to Marie "And you have my phone numbers, any time, day or night, call me. I'll be here as soon as I can." She nods and turns her head to pad, looking for information. I take a one last look to Johanna, not knowing will I ever see her again. There is a lump in my throat and I press my fingernails deep in my palms just to prevent myself from braking. Tears are close but I push them back. No time for those.

I walk back to hotel, planning what I will do next. I have three addresses where to look for Alexa but I don't want anyone following me and reporting my goings. Then I realize that I'm no longer fallowed, at least I cannot see that car that had tailing me last 24 hours or bit more. When I open my hotel rooms door all I see is a mess. All my stuff has been taken out from bag and closet, my bed is messed. Someone has been busy looking for something. I'm glad that I haven't left anything important in my room. Then I realize that if they have searched my room then they probably have messed Johanna's room also. I go to hotels front desk and explain the situation. They hesitate for a while before giving me key card for Johanna's room. As I suspected there is also a mess which I clean up. I pack all her stuff, mostly clothes and some personal hygiene products like shampoo and toothpaste & -brush, hairbrush. I get her bag to my room, then pack up my stuff. I organize my timetables, I'm going to leave Chicago next morning, get back to Providence.

Even there is no-one sitting in a car in front of the hotel I use the car park again to slip out. It's 8 pm and I run to Alexa's apartment. She was right, it's quite long away from the hotel and I'm out of breath when I finally get there. When I catch my breath I enter to building and search the right floor. Of course it's a penthouse... Elevator is locked and so is the door leading to stairs, so I cannot go up and check if she is in there. All I can do is go back to hotel. On my way I try to look if there is light on top floors of the building but I cannot be sure. Well, I wasn't really expecting to find her there, after her father behavior and her disappearance it would have been odd if she had stayed in Chicago. But I had to go to see where her apartment was. True options on her whereabouts was either Milwaukee or Providence and there is no reason for me to go to Milwaukee. I just have to hope that she is or will be in Providence and I meet her there.

On Wednesday morning alarm rings early but I don't feel tired. I had a dreamless night and I have tons of energy. There has been no calls, no messages during the night so after breakfast I get my and Johanna's stuff and leave hotel.


	20. Caleb's pov 9

\- Caleb pov -

Thursday morning and I head to office, taking the same buss than always. When I get in my office I have a sudden feeling that someone has been there. Nothing is in wrong places but something isn't right. I look around, look to boxes that are waiting me to finish the packing and then I realize. Alexa's phone is missing. I'm sure I put it in that box and it's not in there, not in other boxes. My office rooms door was locked as always and everything else is in right places so where could one phone have gone? I call to security, they promise to look surveillance tapes and report if they find any intruder activity. It takes over two hours before they reply that there has been no extra activity in my office, nor in hole building during last three days. So it remains as a mystery where Alexa's phone have disappeared, how and when.

Day passes quickly, at morning I clean my office a bit more and then there is those meetings that Alexa had organized. I meet people, shake hands, talk a lot, pose in photos. I listen their worries, make promises that I wish I can keep if I'll be elected. At 5 pm I'm totally exhausted. When I get home Allen is having a tantrum over his dinner and Cara is helping Beata to eat her dinner. Cara sighs. "This is one of those days when everything is NO and NOT GOOD and DON'T WANT. After having so much fun with daddy yesterday today had been disastrous with just plain mum and little sister, no fun or man-time. I really cannot handle this anymore, I need a break!" I can see that she is near her breaking point and I feel sorry for her. "I take care of the kids, you go out and do something fun.". Cara smiles wearily and I'm sure at first the she will decline my offer but I don't need to offer another time, persuade her for taking time off. She leaves the kitchen and I take Cara's place helping Beata. When Cara is gone Allen finishes his dinner in record braking time and asks what we can do next. "you can help me to clean the dishes and then we can do something else?" I suggest and he nods. It doesn't take much time for Cara either, she just shouts "I'm leaving now" when I'm doing dishes with Allen and Beata, sitting in her high chair, is banging table next to us with a spoon. Front door bangs shut.

When dishes are done we play some memory game together, Beata tries to help us but then decides to practice her standing skills. She repeatedly crawls to some place, like near to sofa, and then tries to pull herself up. Repeatedly the gravity wins but she doesn't give up. I can see determination in her little face, she is sure that today is the day when she is ready for this. I try to make sure that she won't get hurt but she doesn't want any help. Allen is complaining my lack of attention first, then he notices that it's easier for him to win the game when I cannot pay so much attention to that. When she finally stands up holding the sofa with both hands there is a pure bliss in her face. I just manage to take few photos before her legs wobble and she sits down. Allen isn't so happy on his sisters progress than I am but when I loose in memory game he cheers.

I give some supper for them, then prepare a bottle of milk for Beata. Evening washes, brushing teeth, nappy change for Beata and night gowns, then it's time for bed time story. Allen hands me a book. I sit down in comfortable chair that we have in Allen's room, switch on reading light and start all over again a story about little boy and fearsome dragons. His favorite. Beata is in my lap, looking me when I read, playing with her toes. I take some pillows to make sure she won't slip to floor and rest the book on top of pillow. Book is long and first Beata falls asleep, then Allen. I carefully stand up and carry Beata to her bed, she doesn't wake up. Then I wonder what to do, it's so silent here. I check my phone, if Cara has called, but no, nothing there. I send a message and attach a photo of Beata standing and she replies "Oh! Now she did it! She has been trying that for days. My big girl! Give a kiss from mommy". I smile but don't give a kiss to Beata, it would only wake her up. And I'm really not a kisser type, it would be too awkward to kiss own daughter, I think.

I go to my home office and check my emails, nothing important there. Then I read the news, it takes some time even nothing big has happened. Once again I look my phone, it's almost 10 pm and Cara haven't come home yet. I wonder if I should worry over her but then she calls. I hear just some background noises first and then Cara's laughter. "Cara? Are you there?" I ask and then she replies to me "Hi Caleb, is there something wrong?". "No, you called to me..." I reply and she giggles "Oh, did I. I'm having so much fun with girls so is it okay if I don't come home tonight. Christina promised a place from her sofa to me." It sounds like they are in some bar or disco and I don't want to start an argument on phone. "I have first meeting on 10 am so I must leave about half hour earlier and Allen has that daycare day tomorrow. I can get him there but you should be at home by 9 am." I can hear some cheering from background "Oh, you are the best Caleb, bye!" and she has hanged up before I say "I love you." and then I realize that she didn't say that either. I stare my phone with mixed feelings. When I had said it last time, when did she say it? I realize that I don't say it, I show it most of times. It's the pattern I have learned in childhood, no need to talk about feelings, it's enough to when you show them by doing some nice things, taking care of your spouse.

Night is quite restless, Beata stands up multiple times during the night and I must help her back down and sleeping constantly. Allen has some nightmares and he climbs to our bed at early hours, then occupying most of bed, sleeping diagonally, kicking me or poking with his hands. It's like he's hunting dragons and I'm his biggest enemy. When morning finally comes both kids are cranky before breakfast and so am I. Cara hasn't come home yet and clock runs in speed. I don't know should I start to worry or get angry. I call few times to Cara but only reach her answering machine. Then I try to call to Christina but there is no reply either. I really don't have time for this! She promised to me that she will be home early enough, she knew that I have this meeting. I'm sure that they had called from hospital if something had happened to Cara so I'm sure that I don't need to worry. Instead I'm getting angrier and angrier. Kids notice my mood change and suddenly they start to behave, Allen helps me a lot and we manage to change his clothes, get clean clothes and diaper for Beata. We don't have any hustle. But then it's so late that nothing helps, I must take Beata with me and we have run to daycare with Allen. I push strollers with speed and Beata laughs, so does Allen who runs next to us. They think this is a funny little trip in morning and I do my best not showing them how angry I am. I'm little out of breath and sweating when we get to daycare but we are not late! Hooray! Again I try to call to Cara, no luck. I organize Allen's stuff to locker and shoe rack and re-check my schedule for this day. I must be at university, talking to students in an half hour. I cannot leave Beata to same daycare where Allen is, minimum age is 2 and half there. No exceptions made. I tell that Allen can stay today for afternoon classes also, I cannot pick him at 1 pm. Allen seems little disappointed, he had wanted to spend time with me like we did on Wednesday.

All I can do is take Beata with me and I know it will be difficult. There is just a small bag hanging on strollers hand bar, containing extra clothes and some diapers, no food. She won't be interested in listening speeches and talking about our changing environment. I cannot cancel this meeting in such an short notice. I check my phone, no calls, no messages. I try to find Suze's phone number, she has been babysitting before but somehow that number is no longer in my phone. I know that Dara is out of town. These are the moments when I just wish my mother was alive, or my sister. I start a brisk walk to university, hoping that some student is wiling to look after Beata for few hours and then I leave after panel discussion, I cannot stay for afternoon. We are few block away from daycare when Cara comes running. "Sorry, sorry, sorry, I know, I'm late! Just give Beata to me and go!". I just glare to her, so angry it's best to be quiet. And I'm in hurry, no time for argument. It must wait for evening.

I'm few minutes late when I get to University and it takes time to find the right place. All other panel member are already there, starting their conversation and speeches when I came in. First I see Matthew, sitting there, smiling, pleased for himself. When he sees me I see a blink of time pity on his face, then it turns patronizing. I apologize being late and every other reassure that it doesn't matter, we are just about to start, I haven't missed anything. Only Matthew remains silent, smirking when he looks to me. Like he knows something I don't know. We start our discussion about environment and our responsibilities towards it, students give some tricky questions and remarks, challenge us. Matthew replies for a lot of questions since it's the Bureau that does most of environmental protection around here.

When we have a lunch brake before listening some students thesis I take just something to eat and sit down. After a while Matthew comes and sits down on opposite chair, without asking would I like to share my lunch brake with him or not. We eat in silence and then I yawn. Little later he yawns and looks to me, asks "rough night?". I glare to him "yeah, you can say that. Our daughter just learned how to stand up and she continued doing it hole night. Not much sleep for me, helping her to get back down constantly.". He nods "well, I know nothing about that." and continues eating his lunch. Of course he doesn't know, he is single, no kids. Then he yawns again and smirks "I just hope that Cara got back home early enough" he says and rises up. I stand up and ask "What did you say?". He just looks over me patronizing "I just hoped that Cara wasn't late this morning when she returned to home." How would he know that Cara wasn't at home last night? And something in the way that he's looking me gives shivers.

I want to hit something. Like really bad. Like Matthew. Now. In the face.


	21. Four's pov 10

Thanks for your comments guest and Savanah Rose! And sure, Caleb and Cara have some issues in their marriage. I think that it's not so easy for Caleb to divorce Cara but surely there is a point of no return, Cara hurting him too much. But first it's Fours turn!

oOoOoOoOoOo

\- Tobias pov -

I get to Providence late at night, after leaving the hotel I left some of Johanna's stuff to ICU and meet Laura, one of her nurses. She hands me a small piece of paper in secret when showing some of Johanna's stats. There were no changes in Johanna's condition and then Laura introduces me to Johanna's neurologist, a bright young woman, about my age. She says that it will take time but the swelling haven't gone worse in Johanna's brain anymore. Now they just wait that it will reduce before taking her of medicated coma. She estimates that it shouldn't take longer than a week and hope that they can begin reducing at the beginning of next week. If it takes longer then chances diminishes hugely on her survival and she reminds me that there is no guarantee that she will come out from coma after her medication is taken down. And she reminds that there is also big possibility that attack, swelling and coma have done some permanent damage to her, to her brains. "She might not remember anything about the attack.". I nod.

After seeing Johanna I head to another ward, just briefly visit to my mother, letting her know that I'm about to leave Chicago and heading back to Providence. My mother is better, she will be released from hospital tomorrow. I have ordered a security system to be installed to my apartment and mother seems relieved hearing that. Then she asks again that when I will come to home and when I will end my mourning and get married, have some kids and start living my life. I briefly have a flashback about Alexa and Kiara and I want to tell to her about them but not when she is nagging this same again and again. "But you know Tobias that most of women of my age are grannies and their kids are happy and married." Then there is a sudden bang in my heart. Tris. If she was alive then we would be married, having kids. I know it for sure.

I gritted my teeth. "Mother" I grunt, with warning in my voice. This is not the time or the place for this and we have had this conversation million times or more. Why she has to bring this up repeatedly? She raises her hands like she's giving up and winces a bit. "Okay, okay, have it in your way Tobias, as always. You're just as impossible than your father was.". There is a odd look in her face and I tilt my head, look her into her eyes. Similar eyes than mine. She looks away. "Mother, what do you know about that intruder that killed Thomas and wounded you?". She shrugs even it causes some pain for her. "I cannot remember, he attacked from behind and all I did see was his legs. I never saw his face." She's clearly not telling everything. "But you are sure that it was some man.". She is avoiding my gaze, looking everywhere else than to me. "Yes" she whispers and continues with quiet voice "He never leaved me, always thought that I belong to him and him only.". I go to goose bumps. "Mother, you cannot mean that. It cannot be him!". Tears roll from her eyes and then she nods. "Have you told to police?" I ask and she hesitates a while before shaking her head. "They would do nothing, I have no evidence and he is smart enough to lie himself out from any trouble. He always has been. He has been able to do anything he wants and he thinks, has always thought that he has a right on his actions. There where never anything wrong in him, in his way of thinking, everyone else were there to blame. Reason were always in what someone else did or didn't do, not what he had done." I shake my head. "Mother, you cannot blame him if you are not sure" and mother glares me angrily "You are just like him, saying that you don't have any evidence. I listened it far too long at first, too many beatings, too many abuses. He always said that I don't have any evidence and it was all my fault. I needed it and I know he told it to you also. It was just for your own good. Few beatings, who would believe it? He was respected man, they adored him and he made me look mad, delusional. And I believed in him far too long."

I leave mother there, not wanting to hear more. It's again that same thing, her blaming father. She hasn't forgotten nor forgiven. I travel to Providence rolling mother's words over and over again. Was I any different? Then I remember the paper that Laura had given to me. " _Girls are fine. Tina had a boy last night, everything went well. They are willing to testify against the B. I text more later. - L -_ ". These are good news, I think but we need more evidence against the Bureau and since I haven't met the girls I don't know what they are willing to say, what is their story. If it's the one that Matthew has given then we have nothing against the Bureau. Strongest evidence was what Alexa had told but it's not on tape nor written down and Alexa has disappeared.

Thursday morning starts with a rain. I call to ICU and check Johanna's status. No change and they reassure me again that they will call if there is any change. Then I change my clothing more suitable for morning run, even it's raining. I run 5 miles and become soaking wet before I get back home. Quick warm shower, shave and changing clothing more suitable for work. At 9 am I stand in Government meeting and present myself as Johanna Reyes assistant and her stand-in during her sick leave. There is three meetings left in Government, nothing big. I sit down and listen the normal meeting jargon, making some comments and writing down some notes.

There is a lot of discussion about the end of this electoral term. The last meeting will be on "the big week" or so they call this months last week, the week that will start the last month before Choosing Days election. That week is filled with all kinds of program; meetings, parties, dinners, charity events and on Saturday there will be the Big Weeks Marathon. There is a big fair also at market place and some fireworks at Sunday evening, after open air concert. There will be something for everybody and no need to attend to everything. Every candidate is invited to Providence with their families, every candidate can and will be looking for apartments here, they are introduced in Government's buildings and what is going on each one. They get to see where their offices might locate. After the Big Week we are on our own, Government will have a break and will continue its work with new members after the Choosing Day.

After Government meeting I head to lunch and then to my office. There are phones ringing, people coming and going. I have been Johanna's assistant and there is 5 other members in our team. We all come from Chicago but live here and other team has worked in Providence when I and Johanna went to Chicago – well, it's like Johanna does most of work, I'm her assistant and do the rest. They help us by making arrangements, writing down notes, searching information, answering to phone, planning meetings, sorting out everyday stuff. They help us a lot. They are of course worried over Johanna's condition and I do my best to reassure that everything is under control and fine some day. I'm not sure about that myself but if I say it many times maybe I will believe it myself.

There is some paperwork left for me and I finish those. There is not much to do and after the Big Week I have only meetings in Chicago, where my voters are. After Big Week my office must be empty as well as Johanna's. Most of her stuff has been packed and I don't know what to do with the rest. Maybe I pack it and get it to my apartment in Providence. I ask one of our helpers to get boxes and help me packing. There is not much personal stuff in Johanna's office, she is very private person, just as I am.

I think I drank too much coffee during the day. I have to go to evening run, other 5 miles and then, after a long nice shower I take my phone and try to ring to Alexa. I don't know why, I know she left her phone in Caleb's office and it has run out of battery. There should be just an answering machine on other end but for my surprise phone rings and rings and rings. There is no answer but someone has loaded the phone and switched it on.

Next day and week is similar than Thursday. I go to office at weekend also and pack rest of Johanna's stuff then. On Monday they start to turn Johanna's medication down and they wait her to wake up on Thursday or Friday. All we can do is to wait and hope for the best. On Tuesday is governments meeting, just deciding to delay every deal to next season. Nothing important is done, just a waste of time. I must admit that I'm weak, I call to Alexa from time to time. There is no answer, phone just rings until it goes to answering machine. I never leave a message. I call to hospital also, every day and hear that Johanna's progress is good and it can be any day now when she wakes up. The sooner, the better they say.

On Thursday I wait news from Chicago, I have arranged so that I could go there immediately if Johanna wakes up. But no, she is still in coma as well as on Friday. Her neurologist says that all signs that she is giving are promising but we just have to wait. Zeke calls on Saturday morning and asks if he can to meet me, he need a place to sleep for few days. He doesn't want to say but I guess he is in some sort of trouble with women and needs my place for a while to cool things down.

He arrives on evening, looks tired. "What's wrong Zeke?" I have to ask and he looks to me "Please, don't ask". I shrug. I know that he will tell when he is ready. "I'm on sick leave next week so I'm staying here, if you don't mind, that time." He explains. "Just be my guest but you sleep on sofa" I reply. "What ever you say" he sighs, his mind occupied on other things. This is not normal, not the Zeke that I know. "Do you want something to drink?" I ask and he sighs. "Yes, sure, like it would help." I smile a bit "No, it won't help but makes easier to talk and talking is the one that actually helps." Zeke sneers "And that's the reason why you talk so much about your business?" he asks and I must admit that he's right. Maybe I should talk more? It takes over half of whiskey bottle before he's willing to talk. I had just one glass, I have learned my lesson, but I want Zeke to open up and he needs more before he's willing to talk.

"You know that I have been with Shauna a long time. We have had good and bad times and then she decided without asking my opinion what is best for me. And that was breaking up or so she thought. She left me, said that I needed something better than her even all I ever wanted was she. I don't know what she told to Christina about me but then Christina started to make moves towards me. Started flirting with me. And it was one "Candor or Dauntless" evening when she kissed me. It was quite nice so she stayed after everyone else left. And we kissed again, without a game. I had one drink too many and she was coming after me so we ended spending rest of night together in my bed. It was actually... well... it was not so bad but I cannot think her as my girlfriend. I like her a lot, not love like I love Shauna. Shauna doesn't want me or she didn't. Now she wanted to talk with me and said that she was wrong when she pushed me out of her life and she wants me back. And Christina is starting to push me towards going steady with her, making it public. Christina wants me to introduce herself to my mother as an girlfriend."

I nod, I had insight that something like this would come up. "So you have messed your and Shauna's and Christina's lives?" I say and he glares to me. "If only you had... Well, you know, there were a time, after Tris's death and around Tris's funeral and even after that when I thought, when we all thought that you and Christina will end up together." I blush a bit, remembering that time and what we had did with Christina. It haven't felt right and we had made an agreement that we will stay as good friends but not more. Poor Christina, I think, for the first time. She had lost Will and after that she haven't found anyone even close that what he had been for her in that short time that they had together. "I'm not interested in Christina, not in that way, she is a good friend and that is all." I say and continue "It's now more about what you want Zeke, is it Shauna or Christina that makes you happy? You cannot have them both as girlfriends.". He sighs "I know that I want Shauna even she did hurt me when she pushed me out of her life. I understand or at least try to understand why she did that. But I don't want to hurt Christina. She needs more than I can offer for her, she is too good to me. I don't love her but I don't want to make her to hate me." I shake my head "I think that there is no way out of this without hurting someone and now you are just hurting yourself.". He drinks a bit more, shakes his head and admits that he is so going to have a huge hangover. I agree but I think that he needed it, needed to come here and talk over.

On Sunday morning I have a long run, 20 miles this time. It takes time but I'm not in hurry. When I get back to my apartment I note that Zeke is still sleeping. A quick shower and then checking my phone. No new calls, no messages. I call to ICU, there has been some progress in Johanna's condition but she is still in coma. "Just barely" her nurse Marie tells "She can wake up any time.". All I can do is wait and I never have been good in waiting. Finally Zeke wakes up, having a huge hangover and headache. I give him some painkillers and we go out to eat some pizza. I show some places for Zeke before getting back to my apartment and then he asks the question that I have waited. "Well, last night we talked about my problems but how about you. I get to meet you so rarely and you never tell me anything you used to. So now tell me. Is there someone in your life? Or at least have there been? You live here in Providence, just visit briefly in Chicago and everything is so formal with you. You are becoming a stranger, a politician and you are no longer Four. You even use different name."

I shrug "I don't know is there anything to tell. I'm now working for my City and my days are mostly of this; working. I'm a politician and therefore I must use my full name, I cannot be just Four, there isn't so many people that know that name and remember it or its meaning. And as for my personal life there haven't been anyone so significant than Tris after her. You know, I have had some women, I know that Christina has told to you, she always blabbers everything out and open, but I haven't felt anything so deep towards anyone since Tris." He nods and smirks "That sucks!". I look to him and smile a bit "So it truly does."

We fall in silence for a long time before I add "There was a girl that was interesting. First time in years I wanted to... I'm not sure what I wanted. It's like I wanted to be able to fall in love with her or then it wast pure physical thing, I wanted her. Her body. It was... complicated. And she disappeared without saying anything." Zeke smirks before asks "And she was that Caleb's intern? I very well understand, I saw her few times when she was at council meeting with Caleb and she was hot.". I blush and cannot meet his eyes. I'm not sure if I can tell about Kiara to him, I'm not ready. "I felt like I would cheat Tris, cheat her memory, diminish it if I do anything. And I kissed her, that girl. I got scared but I wanted more at same time. I needed her but I didn't want to need her, I wanted her but didn't want to want her. It was complicated. I never got sort that out of my head before her father came and ordered me to stand back, never touch her daughter again." Zeke laughs so hard that he's unable to breath, tears roll down his cheeks. "Oh Four, you are so good in messing things up!" He finally says. I throw a pillow on him and he keeps on laughing. Finally I laugh too. It's surprisingly fun to have Zeke here, I have missed some of this friendship action, I have been so alone here, no one to talk with. I regret letting distance come between us and promise to myself that I will keep my friends closer in future.

Then it comes Monday, first day of the Big Week. Last government meeting and there are all candidates invited as an audience and all members of the government sit in their places. I sit in Johanna's place and look around, just to check if I see some familiar face. I spot Caleb on viewing gallery, he's sitting there and looking down to us. He nods little when he sees my gaze, I nod back. Then I continue my search and spot James Matthews. He's talking to some man there and then he looks around and nods to me. I cannot see Alexa anywhere. Maybe she is not allowed to this meeting, Cara haven't came either.

We have all papers organized and one of my team member brings me a bottle of cold still water. It's 2 minutes before meeting begins when my phone rings, I was just about to turn it on silent mode. It's from hospital. Andrew, one of my team members looks to me when I say that I really need to answer to this phone call and leave. He sits down to our desk, looking puzzled. If I go out and will not be back when doors are closed then I will be locked out from meeting and I really need to be there. This is not a good timing for this phone call.

"Tobias Eaton." I answer and the neurologist on other end introduces herself. Then she says "Here's someone that wishes to speak with you." and I can hear smile and relief in her voice. Phone is handed to some other and I hear "Tobias, is that you?" It's Johanna, her voice is low, husky but recognizable. "Johanna, I'm so glad to hear your voice!" I feel tears rising to my eyes. "What has happened to me?" She asks and I realize that she doesn't remember. Neurologist had warned about this and it's not a surprise. "I was hoping that you could tell it yourself." I reply and hit my hand to wall. I cannot cry now, meeting is beginning and I'm needed at the Hall. "Johanna, I talk with you later, now I really have to go. And I will come to Chicago next Monday, we'll see then." I can hear that there are many questions she would like to ask but there is no time for those. I'm at my place just in time.

Andrew raises his gaze when I rush back at last seconds and I lift my thumb. He smiles "Good news apparently?" he whispers, the meeting is just beginning. I write to paper "Johanna has waken up." and underline it three times. I can't stop myself from smiling. We get a lot of papers, most are timetables for this Big Week. Then there is the participant list for marathon and half marathon. I read names, spot mine and then, on womens list, is Erica Matthews, Milwaukee. My heart skipped a beat. She is here, she must be.


	22. Caleb's pov 10

Savanah Rose, my loyal reader, and Expat24 - thanks for your comments!

oOoOoOo

\- Caleb pov -

Of course I don't hit Matthew, I'm not that type of man, I have manners and here's too much public. I just stare him and his self-satisfied smirk makes me angrier and angrier. I clench my hands in fists. Finally he shrugs "Well, husband always thinks that he knows best and gentleman never tells." He's trying to get under my skin and succeeding in it. He leaves the cafeteria, leaving his dirty dishes there on the table. I sit down and finish my meal without tasting it. I note that some of students are looking me, smiling. I blush and I know that I need to calm down, my hands are trembling. I get to right place in right time and listen about student thesis over energy conservation and environmental development. From time to time I look to Matthew, he seem very pleased over himself. When the program is finished and everyone leaves I step in front of Matthew. "What now Caleb?" he asks innocently. "I need to know. Are you having an affair with my wife?". He just smiles, doesn't answer. I take one step closer and clench my hands in fists. "Matthew... I'm tired of these games. Just one simple answer, yes or no."

He looks to me, smile gone. "That is a question that you must ask from Cara herself but if it makes anything better then I can say this. She slept in my apartment last night." Ouch, that hurt! And his smile, so self satisfied when he continues with low voice "Caleb, I have slept with your beautiful wife more than once and enjoyed every time." I turn around, hiding my face from him. I grab my coat and other stuff and run away. I feel so much pain, much more than I ever thought I could feel, he couldn't have hurt me worse even stabbing my heart with a knife. I pass the daycare, it's closed and I know that Cara had gotten Allen from there – they would have called to me if she haven't. I know that they are waiting me at home but I'm not sure if I want to meet Cara now. How many times, how many night she had slept with Matthew? She said that she would be sleeping at Christina's, why she didn't? And does Christina know what Cara does? Of course she does and she's protecting her. Girls do that, well, boys also or so I have heard, never have I been one that needs an alibi or given one. I don't want to lie, that would be so impolite. And I haven't needed an alibi, I haven't ever cheated, always told the truth about my goings and stayings.

I get to Millennium Park, our home is on other side of it. I sit down at the bench and just think, try to make something out of this. I'm not sure if Cara waits me to come home, I'm not sure if I want to go to home. I'm not sure if I can trust anything she will say, anything Matthew said. I get my phone and pick Christina's number but then decide that I don't want to talk with her. She will tell only what Cara had told her to tell, I know where her loyalty lies. She will protect Cara. I pick Cara's phone number but don't call to her either. I put the phone away. I have nothing to say, I feel empty inside, no words left to say. There is pain, strong pain in my heart, it hurts, I'm near tears but other ways empty, emotionless. It just hurts so much, too much.

Time ticks slowly, shadows get longer, lights come out. People pass me by, some look at me, most don't. They hurry up in their homes, to live their life, another happy Friday. My phone vibrates in my pocket but I don't want to answer that, it vibrates again little later and then again. I don't want to talk, I don't have any words, just pain. I look down, to my shoes. I shiver a bit, it's getting cold here. Then I hear familiar voice, hand touches to my shoulder. "Caleb, come with me." I shake her hand off but then I look up to Cara's eyes. "Where are the kids?" I ask and she sits down, next to me. "I called to Christina, she's looking after, kids are sleeping now so Christina can handle them. But we need to talk." I nod, Christina can handle two sleeping kids, that's sure but I don't agree that talking part. I don't want to talk, I don't feel any need. I don't want to hear what she has to say. I don't want this pain get worse.

"Just come with me Caleb, Christina gave her keys, we can use her apartment and be together there. Talk. Solve this out. I can see that you are upset and I know that I have done wrong, Matthew called me at evening and told what happened today at University, that he told you where I was last night.". I look up to her and ask bitterly "What makes you think that I want to be with you, talk with you? What makes you believe that I can trust in you?" She sighs "Caleb, just come and listen what I have to say. You don't have to say anything but you cannot act like nothing is wrong, nothing has happened and everything will go away if you don't talk about it. And you cannot sit here forever. You'll freeze!" I look to Cara and must admit that she's right. I sigh and stand up, let Cara lead the way to Christina's apartment.

I shiver from head to toe when we finally get there and Cara makes large cups of tea for us. Boiling hot drink warms my hands and burns my throat when going down but it doesn't help for the coldness I feel inside, in my bones, in my mind. I sit to sofa and Cara gives a shawl to me, I wrap it around and still feel the shivers. I'm frozen from inside out. Cara sits to chair, opposite to me and just looks at me, stirs her tea, sips it carefully , avoiding to burn her tongue. We don't talk, it's better this way for now. After a long time shivers end and same dullness comes back. I place empty tea mug to table and lean back, close my eyes.

"How much you know?" She asks finally and I open my eyes, look to her. "Enough, too much, nothing" I reply and she sighs. "I wasn't here last night, I meant to come but then I met Matthew in bar and his house was closer and I ended spending my night there. I slept in guest bedroom.". I inhale deeply and mutter "It doesn't matter.". She raises her hand "But it does, Caleb. What does it tell about our marriage if you think that I would cheat on you?". I look to her "You tell me?". She looks away, blushed. "Cara, please,don't lie, I need to know the truth. You are my wife, my only one, only one that I have ever loved." She is so silent for a long time, I just look at her, I can see that she's thinking really hard, then she swallows. "I haven't slept with anyone else since I accepted your proposal." She confessed in a low voice and I stare her, feel a little bang of hope. I just hope that she's telling the truth and Matthew lied, teased me. Why he would do that? "But before that, when we was dating, I... I slept with Matthew. I cheated you with him." I see tears run down on her cheeks and think that she looks pretty even when she is crying. I feel numb, I thought that I would be angry. "Why?" That is the only question that I have left. She hesitates for a long time, sighs, looks away "I don't know why I did it and I hated myself after that. I felt so... dirty. I wanted to tell that back then to you but I knew that it would have destroyed everything we had between us."

"And you want me to believe that it was just that one time, years ago?" She raises her eyes, look into mine with a haunted look on her face. It feels like she is studying if I believe in her or not. It takes too long for her to answer and I know the truth without her telling it. She is lying, trying to make everything seem more innocent, just one time ages ago. I know deep in my heart that Matthew was the one that told the truth, Cara is trying to protect something, but what? Herself? Matthew? "I don't believe in that." I finally say and she brakes in tears again. "There was that one day when you came home early, found us kissing on sofa, if you count that as cheating... And last night I slept in guest bedroom, I'm telling the truth but before that, last night, I and Matthew, when we were at his house... we did more than just kissed...we had..." I raise my hand and stop her. "I don't want to know the details." Well, I do want, in some twisted way, I need a confirmation of her betrayal, but in other hand it's better not to know. I don't want to know what they did or hear how much better Matthew was in those things than I was. Of course he is, he has had more women, more practice. And I don't want to hear any more lies. "And you want me to believe that it was those two times? Once before marriage and once yesterday?" She blushes bright red and I have my answer in there. Something breaks in my heart in million pieces, I cannot trust in her anymore. "Three times... Last Friday, I went to see doctor with Beata, she got a vaccination. I told that she had an allergic reaction and that's the reason it took so long for us to get back home but... I met Matthew then, we went to his apartment and Beata slept there, it was her nap time and, maybe it was because of that vaccination she slept longer than usual. And somehow we ended up kissing there on the sofa and then we..." Her voice breaks down and again I raise my hand. She winches, like she would be afraid I would hit her. I could never ever do that! I hit the wall, it hurts but so it's hurting in my heart. "Please, don't go into details." I can imagine those far too well in my mind, my beloved wife with another man, our daughter sleeping next to them.

"Why Allen's teddy is called Matty?" I ask after a while, I need something else to think about. "That teddy is from Matthew, he visited us when Allen was just born and you were in some meeting. He wanted to see the baby, wanted to see me. I knew that you didn't like Matthew so I told that it was from Christina. It was just an accident that Allen started to call his teddy as Matty, he picked Matthews name over some phone call I had with him.". I look her deep in her eyes. "And now comes the question I need you to be absolutely truthful, even the answer might hurt me. Is Allen my son or Matthew's son?" She sneers "What do you think? He is a miniature copy of you and Will. Of course he's your son!". I don't know should I believe or not, Cara had gotten pregnant when we were dating and she had just said that she had cheated me then. "What if I take a genetic test of him, what it will show?" She replies instantly "It would show that I'm speaking the truth, Allen is your son, no doubt in it." There is something in her eyes, something in the way she says this, something how she behaves, reacts, flinches that makes me ask "And Beata?".

I wasn't prepared on what she does next, not prepared for her reaction. She jumps up, takes my tea mug and rushes to kitchen. Hot tears roll down from my eyes, I lean back. If I had thought that pain couldn't get any worse it just got. First it's just tears, then comes sobs that shakes my hole body when I realize that she just confessed one of my worst fears. I feel like I'm suffocating, I cannot get enough air. I don't know how long it takes when she finally comes back to me. She sits on sofas armrest next to me and puts her hand to my shoulder. I pull away, I don't want her to touch me, I don't want her to be so close to me. "Caleb. Please. I'm so sorry but you said that you didn't want another child and... There was this project and Matthew called to me and asked if I could help in that. I could stay at home, Allen was then 2 years and still too young to daycare and you wanted me to stay another year at home and I... well I wanted another child and I knew that you would love that child as you loved Allen.". I cannot look at her, I just stare to wall. "And you thought that getting a child with Matthew would make me happy, I could love his child?" I ask with silent voice, holding back my emotions as good as I can. I would like to shout to her, hit her... first time ever I could hit a woman, transfer some of this pain that I'm feeling to her and then I get scared of my thoughts. I cannot do that, I'm not raised to be a woman beater. Therefore I hit the wall again and again. Pain, pain, pain transfers from my heart to my knuckles.

"Caleb, it wasn't like that, I didn't sleep with Matthew, I didn't cheat you then. I got an embryo and I carried it to us.". I laugh, it's a nasty laugh, full of hate and anger. "You just got an embryo and you want me to believe that! Like you went some baby market and ordered one embryo please. How stupid do you think that I am? Cara, please!". Cara sighs and when I look to her I see that she too is angry and hurt. "I think Matthew could explain this better, it was one of his projects. And it wasn't like that I just got an embryo, it took several months before there was a success in project. We might not be Beata's biological parents but we are her parents, her mother and father." I shake my head. "No, I'm not her father. This is just...Cara, this is too much. I... I cannot cope with this. I think that I need time alone, I don't know what to believe, what to trust. I don't know if I can or cannot trust in you, in us. It's like you're a stranger, you're not the girl I fell years ago. You are not the girl, the woman that I love, who is my wife. I cannot..." Tears are so close and I slam my hand to wall so hard that my knuckles break and there is a blood stain. Pain helps a bit, I feel something else than that awful pain in my heart, in my mind. "Cara, please, leave me alone" I whisper, I don't want to hear anything more, I have heard enough, too much.

I sit there, on sofa, and stare the wall. I cry, silently, without sobs this time, heavy tears fall to shawl. I hear Cara moving, standing up, leaving. I want to shout to her, I want to ask her to stay, I want her to hug me, be near, kiss my tears away, to tell me that this all was just a nightmare, make everything better. But I don't. I cannot. I know that this is real and this is the end of our marriage. I hear her closing the door, leaving Christina's apartment. When I'm sure that she is gone I raise up, go to toilet and wash my face and hands, then I wipe the blood stain from the wall and leave. I don't want to be here when Christina comes back home, I don't want her to see me. I know that Cara will tell her everything, they share their secrets. I just hope that this time Christina keeps this secret to herself.

I get a room from nearby hotel, sign in. No one asks why I don't have a luggage with me, no one cares. I'm just somebody that needs a bed for night. I don't sleep, how could I? Every time I close my eyes I see Cara and Matthew, together, naked, embracing, kissing, laughing to me. My worst fears has come true. I had crush for Cara for a long time, I had admired her looks, her brains. She was smart, funny, beautiful. I knew that other men also wanted her, I knew that she was engaged to Matthew, they were a couple, wedding day planned. But I couldn't have helped myself, I had fallen to her head over heels. I had told her that, repeatedly, I had told her how wonderful she was, how smart, how much I needed her. I thought that I was happiest man ever when she told that she had returned engagement ring to Matthew and she didn't want to leave our project.

When she told that she wanted to go out with me that was something I would never have thought to be possible. When we kissed for the first time it was... and when she stayed at my apartment for the night... I don't have words for that. She was my first, my only and I needed or wanted no one else. I had kissed some girls before, like Susan, but never ever went to bed with anyone else than Cara. Afterwards I was so much in love with her and she seemed to be so happy, in love until it was that day when she was late from work. I scolded her a bit, she had been sloppy in work, tired and in her own thoughts a lot. It had looked like she had been out every night, drinking and having a huge hangover on mornings and I started to worry. I got her to meeting room and she cried and cried and then she had whispered sobbing "I'm pregnant and it's yours.". It was the moment that froze blood in my veins, took away my anger and I had just stared her. "What did you say?" I had to be sure and I remember that wide eyed panicked look that she had back then. "8 weeks today, I just visited a doctor.". I remembered that night in my place when we had gotten too careless and then I had kissed Cara, again and again. "But it's good news, you should have told it straight away, I'm sorry for scolding you. Cara darling, Cara my love. Please, don't cry!" And next week we were married, I had thought that was something I needed to do. Make things right. And when Allen was born after a long and hard delivery he had been so perfect, all pink and crying, small. The look in Cara's eyes back then, it had been priceless and seeing Cara giving birth... I haven't known that my wife was so strong and brave. Now I knew better, she was a liar and a cheater and I had been a fool.

Next morning comes finally, I sign out from hotel and go to office. I call to the same rental office which I had used before and rented a furnished studio nearby. After that I searched needed documents from net and entered mine and Cara's personal data in right places. I printed those documents and signed my signature. All I needed was hers and I needed some stuff from home, like my clothes, laptop, chargers and some papers and books from home office. I didn't need much and I didn't have a lot. Just a broken heart.

When I got home at noon there was almost a normal hustle going on, Beata was sleeping and Allen was looking some program about dinosaurs. He was happy when he saw me "Daddy, daddy, come to see this, hele is the tylannosaulus lex!". I smile a bit for his enthusiasm but then shake my head. "Allen darling, daddy have to go and daddy cannot stay to look that program with you." Allen tilts his head and looks to me. "You ale going to somewhele daddy?" He asks and I nod. "Daddy has lots of work and daddy needs to go to Providence."

Then I feel like somebody stares my back and I raise up and turn around. "Are you... leaving?" she asks with quiet voice, sadness in her eyes. I can see by her looks that she haven't slept, it makes two of us. I nod, look to Allen but he is so occupied with his program, he doesn't mind before I answer to Cara. "You don't leave any other options. And I have something for you." I give her papers and she looks those, panicked look in her eyes. "You cannot mean this..." she whispers when she reads the papers through. I go to my home office to pack things that I will need in near future and Cara fallows me. "Caleb, no... we can sort this out... move to Providence, have a new start. Caleb... no... I love you, only you... I...I'm so sorry, I don't want this, I will not sign this... Caleb, don't leave me, don't leave us! We can get some counseling, some help, Caleb, please!". She's handing papers back to me, unsigned. I know that I don't need her signature, it only speeds process if there is both signatures but mine is enough. I just stare her, pain in my heart. Then I exhale, feel coldness to win the pain and take those papers, put them in my bag. I keep my voice down even when I want to shout to her, I don't want to argue when Allen can hear it. "I don't care what you want, all I can think is what you did. You have showed that I'm not enough for you so I let you go. Be happy, do what ever you want, who ever you want. I don't care anymore. If it was me you wanted all the time then you shouldn't have done those things that you did.". She drops to floor, sobbing. I just stare her, then continue packing up. "I loved you Cara, I trusted in you, I trusted in us, in our marriage. But. I. Don't. Love. You. Anymore." I emphasize last six words, say those in single words, slowly just to let them sink in and she trembles with every word like I had hitted her six times.

Beata is sleeping in our bedroom and I look at her for a while. She looks so small, blond hair in curls, deep in sleep, dreaming. She reminds so much of Beatrice and it's hard to believe that she isn't my daughter, my genes but I don't think that Cara would lie about her origins, there is nothing for her to win in that. I sigh, get my bag and pack up some clothes and toiletry. Cara is at living room, sitting with Allen. She doesn't say anything when I leave, Allen just smiles and waves "See you daddy soon!" he shouts. It's like getting stabbed again, in heart. I manage to smile a bit and reply "See you Allen, be a nice boy." Then I look to Cara "I call to you when I'm ready to talk.". She nods, then looks away. She knows as well as I do that we have a lot to agree, like how often I get to meet Allen and how much I have to pay for child support.

It breaks my heart and my mind when I walk away but I cannot do anything else.

Sunday comes and goes, then Monday. I go to City Registry and leave divorce papers there. They get stamped, I pay the fee and City clerk tells that the six months thinking time begins from this day. After six months I have to get another papers and then the divorce will be final. She doesn't look second time to me, it's all routine for her but it breaks my world. I feel nothing, absolutely nothing, pain from my mind and heart has gone away, leaving just blunt dullness. I feel nothing until late at night. Then I cry until I feel I'm going to vomit. I shout to my pillow so I won't wake up my neighbors, I hit the bed until my hands hurt. There is so many tears inside of me. Finally I feel something but this is something I really don't want to feel.

Cara calls me from time to time, so does Christina and Matthew. I don't want to talk with them, Matthew least. What could he say? "I won, you lost, looser? Stiff?". Even Dara makes an effort and calls, it's hard to reject her call. I had so good relationship with her, she wasn't some horrible mother-in-law, she was more a mother to me. Cara sends messages about kids, photos and I reply shortly. Allen misses me, he's not used into this. She sends messages saying that she is so sorry, she will do anything to get me back but I don't reply in those. I think that there is nothing that she could do or say that would turn my mind.

I go to planned meetings, I pose in photos and give interviews. I smile and pretend to be happy. I empty my office finally, return keys to front desk. End of this chapter, beginning of new? This should be exiting time, time of my life but I feel nothing, just same dullness. On Wednesday morning I text to Cara and tell that I will pick Allen from daycare at 1 pm and I will bring him home later at evening. Allen is waiting me happy, he shows the DNA model to me, finally he had it finished. "Whele ale we going daddy?" He asks and I reply "There is an opening at new indoor activity park and I have free tickets to there. I'm going to give a short speech and then we can cut the ribbon and declare the park open." He claps his hands and then asks "What is the indool palk?". I laugh, first time in days and explain "That is a place where is trampolines, climbing walls, basket ball court, parkour court, bowling, snooker... all games and more." He is just jumping in joy. "And then there is some snacks like hot dogs and popcorn..." I continue and his eyes sparkle. "It must be the best place!".

There is quite many people waiting outside for park to open when we get there. I check my clock, we are a bit early. Park manager comes to me and shakes my hand, then Allen's. He gives us Park Passes, free access to Park for two adults and two kids. "I thought that your wife will come also?" he asks and I smile wearily. "She was sorry, she wasn't feeling well and couldn't come." My standard reply these days. Park manager just smiles, accepting my apology. It's time for me to give speech, I tell about importance of moving, importance of sports and how fun jumping and climbing is, in safe environment. This park is safe, modern and there never rains inside. Park manager hands us pair of big scissors and I hold those with Allen. We smile and cut the ribbon, there are photographers and flashlights almost blind us. Then Allen wants to throw high fives with me and park manager, that causes some laughter around. "The park is open!" We declare.

Park is large and Allen is having so much fun. I look after him, guide him to activities that are suitable for his age. He loves to swing and climb, he eats two hot dogs and loads of popcorn, smiling constantly from ear to ear. Then Cara calls, I don't reply and she sends a text message. "Are you bringing Allen home soon? Dinner is waiting.". I get a bit annoyed but then I look to Allen. He's already sleepy, he has used all his energy. He doesn't protest when I tell it's time to leave, he just holds his park pass and asks "Can we come hele tomollow?". I smile to him "you really like this?" I ask and he smiles wearily "this is the best place evel!". I carry him to taxi that takes us to home, he is sound asleep when we get there 10 minutes later. Cara is waiting us by door and I ask taxi to wait a minute. I leave Allen to Cara, he doesn't wake up. I just look to Cara, she looks back. I see black markings under her eyes, she hasn't slept well but neither have I. We say nothing, there's nothing left to say.

Thursday goes as normal, on Friday I get my new suit fitted, it's little bit too big, I have lost few pounds. I don't have appetite, I cannot eat, but it doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore. Tailor says that he can remodel this suit, but I need it next week. I'm going to Providence, alone. We were supposed to go together, just me and Cara, no kids, it would have been like a honeymoon which we never got.

On Saturday I text to Cara that I need some things from home and if it's possible I will come and get those on afternoon. She replies that they are not at home, I'm free to come any time. Instantly I get jealous, I picture in my mind Cara and Matthew together, laughing, kissing... And when I get to home there is indeed silence, no one at home. I pick things I came to get and then just stand in front of our wedding photo, still on top of living room drawer. We look so innocent, so happy, so much in love in that picture, my hands around Cara's still flat belly. One of best photos taken from me, taken from us. I sigh and take my wedding ring of my finger and leave it there, in front of the picture. Those promises that we made back then, on our wedding day, doesn't count anymore.

I have train tickets to Providence for Sunday. Station is full of travelers, coming and going. I find the right train and get to my seat just in time. Seat next to me is empty, it would have been Cara's seat. I look out from window when train starts to move and when it reaches full speed I feel that someone sits on empty seat. From reflection on window I see that it's Cara. I don't turn my head, I don't want to argue, I don't want to make a scene. I have nothing to say so I remain like was, looking out from window. I press my forehead to cold glass, close my eyes. Tears are close, why did she came, I don't want her to be here. I want to ask her to leave but she has every right to be here. I must leave but before I can get up I feel her hand touching my thigh, I hear her soft voice, sweeter than angels voice.

"Caleb, I know that you don't want to see me anymore but I had to come. This is something that I cannot write in text message and you don't answer my calls." She says in low, husky voice that I can barely hear. "Caleb, I'm pregnant and it's yours for sure."


	23. Four's pov 11

\- Four's pov -

Meeting is finished quickly and then we have a lunch together, one table for every city. Chicago's table has two empty chairs, one is for Johanna and other for Cara, they both are missing on different reasons. I sit next to Caleb, he seems to be in his thoughts. Not paying much attention to ongoing conversation. My co-workers ask a lot about Johanna's condition and I tell all that I can, she has woken up and hopefully getting better all the time. I gaze to another tables, Milwaukee's table is the one that I'm most interested in. There is just men sitting there, their both candidates are male, their representative in Government is a man. There is few empty seat there also, maybe one is reserved for Alexa.

I turn my gaze to Caleb, everything isn't fine with him. "Hey, where's your wife? Shouldn't Cara be here?". He jumps a bit and then looks to me briefly "Oh, she is at hotel, resting, she was too ill to join us." I smirk "Is there another little Prior coming up?" I ask, half jokingly and Caleb glares at me and laughter dies on my lips. "No." he just answers but I get the feeling that he's lying. Really? I remember Cara's words how Caleb had only wanted one child and now they already have two. But something in Caleb tells to me that there is something wrong.

"So, could you explain me more about this Big Week or how you call this." he asks, wanting to change the subject. I nod, I have experience in this, I have seen this twice before. "Well there is some program to those who don't know yet this town, there is a get together parties and tomorrow morning all real estate agents come here and are willing to show rentals and houses that are on market. If you get elected then you will need an apartment from here, days are long, meetings are long and with voting they can continue really late. And for our spouses and children, if we have those, there is other programs, like some daycare and school teachers come to tell what they have to offer. Then there is dinner parties, charity events, golf tournament and on Saturday there will be the Big Weeks Marathon, at least one participant per city. I'm going to run full marathon, there is an option for half also and Andrew is running that. Then there is a big fair at market place and some fireworks at Sunday evening, after open air concert. And on Monday there is last four weeks before the election and we have full month break in Governments work, of course there is some work done even then but no big meetings, no big decisions made.".

He nods "And are you supposed to join everything or?" I shake my head "You can join everything or just those you are interested in and if you want, you can go back to Chicago. But there is also press meetings and reporters follow us candidates everywhere so you can make a good impression to your voters and get to know this city before election. This is a big place." He nods again. There is something in his eyes, some sorrow that lies deep, there is some black markings under his eyes and I think that he has lost some weight, suit doesn't fit him like it should. He has gotten older and how long it was since I las saw him? Little over two weeks. Something has happened and then I see his hands. He isn't wearing his wedding ring. I don't believe that is just a coincidence, he would never forget anything that important. There is something seriously wrong in his marriage.

When the lunch is over I call to ICU again, Johanna is sleeping but I get to talk with her neurologist. She explains that they had done some memory testing and Johanna's short term memory has been damaged. Maybe due the head trauma or medication or both. She doesn't remember anything that had happened in past month, before that it's clearer and she remembers most. "Maybe something will come back with time but we have to be patient. We will keep her here in ICU for this week at least, there can be some setbacks. And she will hospitalized another week after that in our neurological ward. We have to make sure that she recovers as good as possible, we have some testing to do, some CAT-scans."

I tell these news to our team and then introduce Caleb to the team. I show to him where our offices locate and we take big cups of coffee, head to my office space, or that what was mine. Now it's empty, waiting for new assistant to start work after election. There is some of our team members coming and going, we drink coffees and it takes some time before we were left together. "Caleb, I know it's not my business but...You worry me." He looks briefly to my eyes, then away, sighs. "I'm getting a divorce. Cara has done somethings that I cannot ever forgive." It hits me, I was expecting some difficulties but this is more than I thought. "I'm so sorry for both of you." Is all I can say and he looks again to me "But you are not surprised?" he asks. "No, I'm not, I noted that you don't have your wedding ring and your physical appearance tells that you haven't slept well in last days, you have lost some weight. And I have talked with Cara before, when I was in Chicago." He nods and says bitterly "Of course everyone else knew it before I did.". I shake my head "I didn't know it, it wasn't like so. I sensed from what she talked that you had some issues between you two and she was hoping you could solve those together."

I look to his hand that hold now empty coffee mug, I see granulation on his knuckles. "Do you want to learn how to hit in right way?" I ask and when he just stares me I point to his hands and he blushes."It seems that your wrists aren't in correct way when you hit, that granulations shouldn't be there, it's at wrong place. You just end up hurting your hands and you can do some serious damage to yourself. If you want we can go to gym and I show you how to hit a sandbag in correct way. It helps your thoughts to clear out and gets some anger out from your system." Caleb hesitates a while, rubs his knuckles and then just point out "but I don't have any spare clothes, like for gym. I think that a suit isn't an ideal clothing for boxing." I smirk "that's no problem, I have a locker up there and some extra t-shirts and sweatpants, you are not bigger than me so my clothes will fit for you.". He shrugs, then stands up. "Okay, lead the way." He says and I smile. In some things he is so similar than Tris was, acts same way, looks, behaves. In other ways he's just a shadow of Tris's reflection.

When we are ready I lead the way to punching bags and show him the correct position. I do everything in slow motion first, show how to defend and how to attack, how the hit begins from your legs and torso, it's not just your hands that are hitting. Basic boxing, something I have learned years ago. Then it's Caleb's turn, I correct his position, show again, make him hit again and again and again. Then I get some boxing cloves to us and give a pair to him. "Now, let's take a fight!" He seems shocked and stutters "But... but... I... I cannot hit you Four!". I tilt my head, raise my eyebrow and look him questioning "Oh, you think that you are that good already? I bet that you cannot hit me. Just come here and try!"

He steps into boxing ring and takes his "ready"-position. I step in front of him and take similar position and nod. "Now, hit me." He tries and tries, missing me every time. I move too fast, block his hits. "Now Caleb, stop trying to hit me and hit me, enough of this playing around." He gives all he can, puts all his effort to hits. He is sweating but I'm not, this is kind of boring actually. When he cannot hit more he just sits down, his hands and legs trembling. I smile a bit and take my gloves of, head back to sandbags. Then I hit hard the bags, repeatedly, do some kicks. He just looks, amazed. Finally I'm sweating also and I throw a towel to him. "You're quite natural in boxing, you don't have much muscles but neither did your sister and she got quite good in fighting, after few beatings I mean." He flinches "I don't want to know what you did to my sister" he replies under breath and I don't if I should laugh or get angry. "I was just an instructor, the other initiatives did the beating". I remember those fights far too well, how they had made me feel when Peter and Molly had beaten Trish.

After showering we change back in suits we wore before and leave the gym. Caleb hesitates a while before I ask "If you are not in hurry would you like to come my place, see how I live in here Providence.". He thinks and then nods. "Sounds good and thanks Four, it feels better now, as you said. And next time I will kick your ass...". There is a little smirk in his face, so similar than Tris's smirk, same sort of determination in the way he speaks. I sigh and mutter under breath "Sometimes I just wish that you wouldn't look so much of your sister." Then I smile to him and remind that it would a lot more than one practice to beat me. He doesn't want to believe and insists a rematch.

Zeke is making a dinner when we get to my apartment, singing little out of tune with the radio and I laugh "You are just like a good wife, what else a man can need than ready made dinner when he comes to home after a long, hard day in office?" Zeke lifts a opened beer bottle to me and takes one himself. "Just please, don't be so rough tonight, I'm still sore from last time..." he jokes. I laugh even harder and then ask "Just could you put another plate out darling, we have a dinner guest." Zeke looks surprised "Who?" and then he sees Caleb walking to kitchen, unsure what to say, where to look, his eyes wide, wondering, blushing when he hears our conversation. "Oh, you got your former brother-in-law visiting to us.". He takes another bottle of beer from fridge and opens it up, hands to Caleb who is still stunned, looking from Zeke to me and back.

"Caleb, don't believe in Zeke, he's just joking. We are not a couple, we are not dating, we are just goofing around like friends do. He needed some therapy, someone that is willing to listen his worries and he got here. Lady problems, you know. It seems that it's some sort of epidemic in Chicago, lucky for me that I don't live there anymore." Zeke looks to me "Aren't you forgetting something Four? There was that girl in Chicago as you told, the one that made your socks spin... last time when you visited there, remember. The one that got away." I glare to him and Caleb asks innocently "Who?". I sigh "I'm so not telling to you, Caleb" and he shakes his head "I told to you my secrets so you must tell to me. Or then Zeke tells." I sigh again and raise my hands like giving up. "Okay, okay. I spend a night with your intern and...that's it. We just slept. And kissed. Nothing more and her dad got her away, just in time."At first Caleb looks to me like he couldn't believe what he is hearing, then he laughs so hard and it's not a nice, happy laugh, I can see his gaze darken. "It sure is an epidemic thing, going around. Sleeping in wrong beds and kissing with wrong people. I just hope it would have been only sleeping and kissing in my case.". He gulps his beer down on one stand and I stare to him, so does Zeke. "Another one?" Zeke asks with amusement when Caleb puts empty beer bottle down and before Caleb answers he has opened next one and hands that to Caleb.

Zeke had made some spicy meat dish and it tastes good, with beer it tastes better. We eat and drink and open up, share things. After four beers Caleb is willing to tell everything that has happened, including that my guess on lunch was correct, there is a another baby Prior coming up. There sure is some big problems in his marriage. Evening is getting late and Caleb's phone has been bleeping from time to time. He hasn't even looked to it. Finally he sighs and stretches. "This has been fun, let's do this sometime again. But I think that I need to go back to the Hotel for night." I stand up "I will walk you, if you just wait for a moment." I rush to bedroom and change my clothes to running gear.

We walk to the hotel with slow pace, Caleb is not in hurry. Just before hotel he stops and looks up to the mirror wall. "What should I do?" he asks and I hesitate before I answer. "I... I cannot tell to you what is right to do." I scratch my neck, feeling uncomfortable. "It's just, I hardly can look at her and when I look I just remember what she told, I see her kissing Matthew, I see her in bed with him. I want those images out of my head. And she wants me to tell what she should do with the pregnancy, like it's my decision that matters." I shake my head, feel sorry for him. "Just... Trust in that what you feel in your heart.". He inhales deeply, holds it, then exhales. "How did you survive after Beatrice's death?" he asks and I hesitate for a while before answering, this question is one that I haven't liked to talk about, not with Caleb, not with anyone. It was something I talked with Christina back then, years ago and that was enough of it, or so I had thought.

"You saw me back then, it was just hanging there, counting breaths in – out – in – out, then managing minute after minute, day after day. I got scattered in million or more pieces and had to solve that puzzle back to hole just to find out that some pieces had got lost forever. I decided that life has to go on, I didn't want to end up being a bitter, calloused man. And still it hurts sometimes, it hurts to remember, it hurts when I see her features in you. You two are not same, but close, seeing your smirk – it's same than she had, some gestures are similar, something in your eyes. Not same, similar. Still there are times when I think about her and wonder what ifs, what if she didn't die, what if she had survived, what if... would we be married, would we have kids, how different life would have been. And then there is sort of guilt coming with every action; if I meet some woman that makes my head turn there is bang of guilt. I shouldn't look to anyone else. She was my only one and I shouldn't want anyone else. Then I remind to me that she has died over 10 years ago. She wouldn't have wanted me to waste my life mourning after her." I think that this is most honest conversation that I have ever had with him. Caleb nods, thinking what I said. "Cara is... was...is my only one, only one that I have been with, only one that I have loved.". I tap to his shoulder. "I think it was easier for me back then than it's for you now, I didn't have to think that she could come back, I had seen her corpse, lying there cold, lifeless. I didn't have to meet her, talk with her and still be without her, see her with someone else, think her with someone else." Caleb nods, his face tighten. I know what he's seeing in his mind just now.

He switches weight from foot to another, looking down. Then sighs. "I just... I wish that I wouldn't know what she did with him. I just wish I... If only I could... forget. Take some memory serum or something." Then he smiles, not a happy smile, a wearily, sad smile. "Thanks Four and really, I enjoyed this evening and I hope we can do this again." He leaves before I get to say anything and I just look after him, thinking that this day had been something that I had never imagined to have. Spending time with Caleb, seeing him as hurt as he was... seeing him go through same feelings that I had when Tris died, wanting to forget, trying to survive, trying to go on. It somehow had helped me. It all had been something different than the normal day by day life that I had. And Zeke here only made everything better. I had lived too long as on hermit, a monk, without realizing that I needed friends and as it seemed they needed me.

I jog to the central park, just there where I first met Alexa. I try to tell myself that I'm not after her, just running few laps but then, who am I kidding. Of course there is a slim hope living in me that I could see her again. Could it be so easy? No, it wasn't, I'm the only runner here. I run 10 laps and decide to go home, here's nothing for me. When I'm leaving I hear a laughter that can be only hers. I look around but I don't see anyone. Then I spot two figures, standing beneath an old oak. They are talking, laughing. My mind is racing, could another one of those two be Alexa? A car drives by, stops near the oak and another one of those two runs to car. I run, try to catch it but only get to see that the car was the same car than James Matthews had used in Chicago. Dark windows on back prevent me from seeing inside. Then the car is gone and when I look under that oak so has that another figure gone. I'm hunting ghosts.

Zeke is talking on phone when I get back, smiling. I leave him alone, head to shower. When I get from there, I see Zeke smiling, happy. "I just talked with Christina and we have agreed that we will stay just friends, no longer this friends-with-benefits thing. She said that she understands and she shouldn't never ever come between me and Shauna but she doesn't regret anything, well, I don't regret either. Shauna had been talking with her and they had guessed that I came here, spending my time with you. I think, if you don't mind, I will go back home on Thursday or on Friday..." his voice trails of. I laugh and say that it's fine, he can leave when ever he wants, no need to stay. I'm not holding him here, he is not in prison, but if he wanted he could stay as long as he needed. We talk for a while, then head to beds, his bed on my sofa, mine in bedroom. Soon I can hear him snoring but I stay awake, thinking. Last thought in my mind was Tris, as so many times had been.

 _I'm laying on my old bed, in Dauntless, naked, covered only with old blanket and Tris is there, standing near the bed. I ask her to join me and she replies by asking if I want to see her new tattoo. I can see that she's exited about something, little blushed at same time."What you have in your mind?" I ask and she smiles shyly. "I just got a new tattoo, I want to show it, in a special way. " She replies,_ _last words fading to whisper_ _. "Where?" I ask and she points to her lower stomach, near hips,_ _smiling and blushing at same time_ _. "Oh yes, baby"_ _I_ _reply_ _and the way I say it_ _brings more color to her cheeks. She_ _unbuttons her jeans from button to button, slowly, then she_ _takes her jeans away, teasing me._ _I groan._ _She looks to m_ _y eyes_ _and I know from her shy but triumphant smile that she knows very well how this impacts to me. Long t-shirt, she must have borrowed one of mine, covers her to mid thighs. "Are you sure,_ _are you ready for this_ _?" She asks, smiling. All_ _I_ _can_ _is reply little out of breath "Yes, oh darling, yes.". She surely knows_ _how to tease me._ _The real question might be that is she ready for this._

 _She slowly reaches to t-shirts hem,_ _grabs it with both hands_ _and starts to raise it. She turns around and then I see her panties; black lace. I gawk with mouth open, I have never seen her wear something like that. It had always been something sensible and conservative Abnegation style underwear. My mouth is dry. Oh boy,_ _this just gets better and better_ _!_ _This is something I love about Tris, she is brave and full of suprices._ _She dances, shakes her buttocks and I just wonder where she got those moves, this isn't typical for her. No, not typical but surely effective. I'm nervous and excited, I don't know which way more. "Darling, stop teasing me, you're killing me!" I beg and I have totally forgotten her original idea about showing something. What was that? I cannot remember but I don't care, all I want is her, now._ _I try to move but then I realized that she somehow had tied my hands and legs so I cannot move. All I can do is watch._

 _All I need is her, I need to kiss her, touch her, love her and it's driving me nuts, she is driving me crazy. I just want her, my every cell, my every nerve shouts it. She giggles, sweetest voice that I know, echoes in my room. "Oh, come on, Tris!" She must stop this teasing,_ _it's getting painfull_ _. Finally she turns, t-shirt covering still her head. I can see her body, slender, athletic body. Her belly curves like pregnant womans belly, I see the tattoo_ _near her hip but cannot make out from this distance what it is. I don't care, my attention is drawn by_ _black lace panties and matching bra. Then I realize that there isn't those three ravens flying over her collarbone. And then her head is cleared from t-shirt, her hair has transferred from blond to jet black and I'm staring Alexa's face. "Do you like on what you see?" She asks with a knowing smile and lift_ _s_ _my blanked away. "Oh yes, you do like this...a lot..." she purrs._ _I'm little shocked, I wasn't expecting this but... oh boy!_ _She looks so hot, I want her, I need her. And I cannot deny it, I_ _want_ _her now,_ _more than I have ever wanted anyone_ _!_ _She climbs to bed, bends down to kiss me._

I wake up shouting.

oOoOo

AN: thanks expat24 for correcting some spelling errors :-) and your review!


	24. Caleb's pov 11

Thanks for your comments and notes about spelling mistakes, they are corrected (if I found all of them)!

oOoOoOo

\- Caleb pov -

I hear her words, it takes some time for them to sink in. I bang my head to window, again and again, little thud after thud. Glass is cold, train vibrates, wheels make sound. "Caleb please, say something, you are scaring me." She begs and I just rest my head to window, keep my eyes closed. I can feel her hand still resting at my thigh and then it hits me. I rush out from cabin where I was sitting, manage to get just in time to toilet. I throw up, everything that I had eaten this morning and that isn't much, then comes just bitter bile, leaving nasty taste in my mouth. I need something to drink but toilets water is undrinkable. Train changes tracks, swings a bit from side to side. I stand up and think a while. There is a restaurant wagon in this train, I can get something from there to ease out this taste in my mouth. When I get out from toilet Cara is standing there, looking worried, handing a bottle of cold water to me. I look to her, knowing that I cannot run, I cannot hide, we are on a train and she will follow me where ever I will go.

"Thanks" I say, take the bottle from her and gulp half of it's content with one big gulp. It helps, washes that bitter taste away. I walk back to my seat, sip the rest of water from bottle. Cara is just standing there, by cabins door. I can see her reflection from window and then say, without looking to her "Just, please, sit down.". She sits down next to me, silently and so we sit there, silent, until we reach Providence. When train slows down she shivers. "Can I stay a night with you here, there is no trains going back for tonight" she asks with low voice and I hesitate. I don't want her to be here, but I cannot make her to go anywhere else, she would have to spend a night out or in some other hotel if I say no. After all I'm so much a gentleman that I cannot force her doing that. I have no other choice than nod and say "Just come with me to the hotel, I have a room reservation for two of us. But just for one night, no more." I look to her briefly and she smiles. "Thanks." she replies.

It's not a long walk from station to hotel and I walk it, Cara fallowing me few steps behind. She doesn't have any luggage, only one large handbag so I figure out that she haven't even planned to stay long. I have just a weekender and a garment bag, I don't need much and I always travel light, she's the one that packs hole wardrobe and tons of makeups and other cosmetics. Room reservation had been made over a month ago and I get a nice honeymoon suite, something that I don't need but back then it had sounded like a good idea. When we get to room I spot instantly a big, king sized bed, decorated with red roses, mirror on ceiling, candles everywhere waiting to be lid. There is a big bottle of champagne on ice, fruits and chocolates from house. Cara is looking around, touching everything, tears in her eyes. "You really ordered this suite, a honeymoon suite..."She whispers. I have to harden myself and throw my bags to chair next to bed.

"Cara, please sit down and explain what you said at train." I ask and she jumps a bit, then looks to me shyly. "I told that I missed my periods and I'm pregnant, only possible father is you.". I cross my hands in front of my chest and glare her. "How can you be sure?" and she shakes her head "Which part?". I roll my eyes "Of course that part of who's the daddy. You are the one sleeping around." She snorts. "Simple, Matthew cannot have children, he is sterile. That was one reason for my breakup with him, I knew that I want to have children some day and he cannot have any. And that's the reason for his research also, how to help couples with infertility issues." I look out from window and she comes there, stands behind of me. I smack my hand to window frame and she jumps. "You planned it, didn't you?" I asked and when she doesn't answer I continue "It was that weekend, that Friday when kids were with your mother and you made that roasted beef and... You planned this, trying to tie me harder to you, making it impossible for me to leave you. Just that you could do anything you like and have a death grip on my balls at same time." I know that I sound bitter, I am bitter. Cara shivers "No darli... Caleb, it wasn't like that. I didn't plan this, I didn't want another child, two is enough for me, enough for us...". I snort. "One was enough for me and I have one child."

She turns away, walks to sofa, sits down and stares her feet. "Caleb, what should I do?" She asks after a long silence and I turn to look her. "What you mean? What should you do?" My instinct tells what she means, I just want to hear her say that out and aloud. She looks me with a hounded gaze. "I mean about this pregnancy. I'm on fifth week, so it's very early and easily... you know... solved... taken away..." Her voice trails off and I shake my head. "I will not tell what to do so you can use it later as a weapon against me. I think that I don't have a right answer for you, whatever I say will be a wrong answer." I know that this child that she's carrying can ruin my plans to get elected to Government and if my voters find out that I have left my pregnant wife or tried to force her to abort the pregnancy... There is no easy way out, no right answers.

"Are you sure about the pregnancy?" I then ask, trying to win some time. She snorts "I did a test, it was positive, I have all symptoms and I reserved a doctors appointment, got a time to at beginning of next month, when I'm at seventh week. Then they can see heartbeat and..." Her voice trails away again. "Caleb, I'm so sorry, I'm so very, deeply, sorry. I really am." She looks to my eyes and I see tears in her eyes, her beautiful eyes. It hurts to see her so upset but then I force myself to turn around, look away. I want to forgive, I want to say that everything will be fine again but deep inside I know that I cannot forget. "Caleb, I really mean this, I love you, I haven't ever stopped loving you and I need you, Allen needs you. We need you." She's begging and I have to use all my willpower, I just look out from window, admiring the view. "Cara, what you did was something... you truly hurt me. And it's hard to forget, I think forgiving is easier. Every time I close my eyes I see you kissing with Matthew, I see you two in bed, laughing to me. When we got married I promised to be a loving, caring, loyal husband and if I remember correctly you promised to be a loving, caring and loyal wife." I see her reflection, how she trembles like I had hit her. She stands up and starts to pace around. "But Caleb... it just... it just happened. I didn't plan for it or... I didn't mean to hurt you!" All I can do is laugh, a bitter laugh and I turn to face her, look in her eyes and scold her just to make my point clear, wanting her to understand. "Oh please Cara! Are you truly so naive or think that I'm so stupid? No matter how many times you say that you didn't mean it, it still doesn't justify on what you did, you should know that. A good wife doesn't kiss other men, doesn't go to bed with other men. A good wife is loving, caring and loyal. You are not." I emphasize last three words and she raises her hands. I can see that she's getting angry. "How many times I have to say it? I'm sorry, I made a mistake, I did wrong but you don't have to be so... so over hostile!" she snaps. I just shake my head. She truly doesn't understand.

A hostile silence falls between us two, she continues walking, I go to sofa and sit down, thinking what next, what should we do, what should I do. Then my stomach growls, then hers. I sigh. "Lets go to have something to eat" I suggest and she looks to me cautiously, like trying to find some deeper meanings in that sentence. "I need something to eat and so do you, I think" I say, trying to persuade her coming with me. She gives a brief smile before saying. "Nothing fancy, I didn't bring any evening dresses.". I nod. Nothing fancy, just some simple, plain food. Sounds perfect.

We find a small pizzeria near our hotel and when we place our order it's like before; we end up finishing each other sentences. When the waitress leaves the silence falls again, there's nothing to say. Pizza is good, better than most of that food that I have eaten last week. We get our stomachs full, I pay the bill. When we walk back to hotel I note that some tension that was between us had gone away and I know that it would be so easy to slip back to continuing the marriage. Too easy.

The hotel room has been turned in for night, curtains are closed and bed opened, it looks inviting. Then I look to sofa, it's not so tempting but I know that I will be sleeping there, I cannot sleep in same bed with Cara. I don't want to be so close to her. She goes to bathroom and I hear her filling the bathtub. I empty my bags to cupboard and take extra pillow and blanket out, place those to sofa. Then I wait and wait, it takes a really long time before Cara comes from bathroom. She is wearing a really light nightgown, toweling her hair to dry. There's a little bit toothpaste at corner of her mouth and I'm about to wipe it away, but before I touch her I lower my hand. "You can sleep in the bed, it's better for you, I sleep on sofa." I tell to her and she hesitates, looking from bed to sofa and back. "I can sleep on sofa, if you cannot share the bed with me." she says then. I smile bitterly "Sofa works for me, I'm used in sleeping on sofa, I've done it many times..." and she remembers that sofa that we have in my home office.

In bathroom I can smell some bath oil scent still lingering there, see the pink, heart shaped hot tub. I take a quick, cold shower, brush my teeth and head to sofa. Cara had turned most lights away and when I switch the last one it's really dark in here, dark and silent. Sofa isn't so bad, little too short but I can manage with that. Then I hear that she's crying, almost silent sobs, some hick ups. I want to stand up and comfort her and when I'm about to rise she rushes to bathroom. I can hear her throwing up. Repeatedly. It takes a long time before she flushes and then drinks some water. She walks back to bed and sigh. "Any better?" I ask and she sighs. "This nausea is just worst ever and started so early, I didn't have anything like this with Allen or Beata.". I don't know what to say to that. "I'm sorry" I finally say and she sneers. "You should be" she states and then there is a long silence. "Good night, Caleb" she whispers and I reply "Good night.", turn myself to better position and fall to sleep.

At morning my back is killing me, the sofa wasn't so good to sleep than I had hoped. I take a painkiller from toiletry bag and start to shave when Cara rushes to bathroom and kneels in front of toilet seat. She manages to say "sor... " before she throws up violently. I stroke her hair back, hold it there, pat her back. When she's through I wet a small towel with cold water, wipe her face and then give some water for her to drink. She is resting there, sitting on bathroom floor, her head against the ceramic tiles on wall. I finish shaving, then look to her. She looks so pale, small, vulnerable and I feel guilty, it's my fault. Then I harden myself, it just takes two to make a baby, It's my fault but not alone. "Can you handle it? I should be going to meeting soon." I ask and she manages to nod. "Just go Caleb, it will soon be okay."

Governments meeting hall is bigger than city councils, more decorative. There is lots of audience and I see representatives at their seats. Then Four rushes out just before meetings beginning, looking to his phone, then back in at last second. He's smiling. When meeting begins it's a slight disappointment for me, it's so similar than what it had been in city council. More and more I feel like politics aren't any longer what I want to do. Four is writing some note to his assistant and see a cheerful smile on both of them. Some good news apparently.

After meeting there is a lunch event and I feel little ashamed when Cara's seat is empty. Four asks about Cara and I tell that she wasn't feeling well so of course my response leads him to joke about pregnancy. I deny that but I see from Fours face that he doesn't believe in me, looks with curiosity. I quickly ask about that "Big Week" program that they were babbling at meeting, the reason why we are here. He explains it and first time it makes some sense to me. After lunch he asks if he can offer a cup of coffee to me at his office, it sounds good.

"Caleb, I know it's not my business but...You worry me." He says and I look briefly to his eyes, then away and sigh. "I'm getting a divorce. Cara has done somethings that I cannot ever forgive." I reply, even though it's not his business to know. I see how it hits him and it takes some time before he replies. "I'm so sorry for both of you." That's all he says, a true politician, and I look back to him. Something in his answer, in his looks makes me ask "But you are not surprised?". He smiles briefly. "No, I'm not, I noted that you don't have your wedding ring and your physical appearance tells that you haven't slept well in last days, you have lost some weight. And I have talked with Cara before, when I was in Chicago." I cannot help it, I'm bitter. "Of course everyone else knew it before I did.". Four shakes his head "I didn't know it, it wasn't like so. I sensed from what she talked that you had some issues between you two and she was hoping you could solve those together." I almost laugh and rub my knuckles. He looks to those and suggest that we go to gym, offers his spare clothes for me. Why not, I think, I have nothing else to do.

The gym is big, equipped with newest machines and there is also two sandbags and a boxing ring. A boxing ring? Four teaches me some techniques, they are not so hard to learn but soon I'm sweating. I'm not used to exercise this way! Then he wants me to step to boxing ring and fight with him. It scares me and he mocks my best efforts. He's too skilled, too fast, too good in this. When I'm totally drenched, my hands and legs tremble he lets me sit down and goes over to sandbag. He hits it and kicks it with perfect motions, easiness in his moves. He has done that a lot, I can see, there's power and speed in his movements. He scares me, I don't want to fight against him. But then on other hand the urge to win him rises somewhere. I'm so going to do that, one day. When he finishes he throws a towel to me and takes one for himself. We walk to showers and he points out that I'm like my sister was, not much muscle power at beginning but with little help I can get better, like she had. Somehow it's weird, to talk with him about Beatrice, about Tris, he so seldom does that.

We put the suits back on and I spot that Cara had called to me several times during the day, but haven't left any messages. I think that I should call back to her but then harden myself back, I'm not going back to that... She should leave a message if there's some urgent matter that considers Allen, in other ways she has no need to contact me. I have explained it to her previous and it haven't changed. She knows it.

Fours asks if I want to see his place and why not, I have nothing better to do. I'm little surprised when I find Zeke there and hearing how Four and Zeke joke together... are they a couple? They laugh to me that they are just messing around like good friends do. I guess it's something that former Dauntless do, I haven't done anything like that ever with my friends. Zeke hands an opened beer for me, I don't drink much beer but I don't want to refuse and let them think that I'm some sort of... what was that word? Pansycake, that's what it was. Four explains that Zeke had some lady problems, don't we all and so Zeke points out to Four. He really slept with Alexa? When he explains how he had just slept an kissed with her I laugh and feel my moods go down again. "It sure is an epidemic thing, going around. Sleeping in wrong beds and kissing with wrong people. I just hope it would have been only sleeping and kissing in my case.". I point out and empty hole bottle of beer at one stand with big gulps. I see Four and Zeke staring at me before Zeke asks "Another one?". I take it, it's not so bad anyways.

Meal is good, Zeke surprised me, I didn't know that he was so good in cooking. Evening is getting late and my phone rings from time to time, then finally comes a text message. I go to toilet and look that message, it's from Cara. "Caleb, I didn't go to Chicago, I'm in hospital. Doctors say that I might have a miscarriage and after loosing lots of blood and vomiting I need some fluids. Please, call to me. Please!". I don't text back or call, I need time to think. I get back to Fours living room and finish my fifth beer, more than I normally drink. I feel little drunk when I say "This has been fun, let's do this sometime again. But I think that I need to go back to the Hotel for night.". Four stands up and offers to walk with me, then rushes to change his suit to some sports wear.

Evening has turned to night when we walk back and talk about things we haven't talked before, like how Four had handled Beatrice's death, how he had continued his life after that. It's good to finally talk with him about these things, I think we had been avoiding this conversation far too long. Finally we stand in front of my hotel and I look down. I know that Cara is waiting my phone call and I should call to her. It's just... difficult. I don't want to call, it's like slowly slipping back to what we had, like she haven't done anything wrong. I sigh and just blurt it out aloud **"** I just... I wish that I wouldn't know what she did with him. I just wish I... If only I could... forget. Take some memory serum or something." I smile a bit, feeling tired, sad. "Thanks Four and really, I enjoyed this evening and I hope we can do this again." I say and leave, I not a friend of long farewells. And I will be seeing Four later this week, thats sure.

When I get to hotel room everything is tidy and made ready for night. Extra pillow and blanket from sofa has been put away and first time I think about what housekeeping must have thought when seeing those on sofa, after all, this is a honeymoon suite. I think, hope, that it's not normal here, to sleep on sofa. First I'm typing a text message to Cara but then decide to call after all, against my decisions. She answers quickly, she had been waiting my call. I don't have to say much, mostly listen up. She had been throwing up all morning and had found out that she's bleeding, heavily so she had called to hotels reception and they had called an ambulance. She had been taken to hospital and ordered to bee in bed rest for the rest of day, she had gotten some medication and they had taken multiple blood samples from her. They had said that because the pregnancy was in so little weeks there is nothing they can do, only make her rest and give some medication against nausea and more fluids. I feel relief, maybe this is better in this way, nature taking care and relieving us from making decisions, but I don't say it, Cara sounds quite depressed. She will be at hospital at least for tomorrow and then she will go back to Chicago, so she says. I wish speedy recovery for her and hang up.

Short shower, washing teeth and then to bed. Oh, this is so much better than the sofa! And when I turn I can smell Cara's scent, still in pillow that she used. I miss her, feel pity for her, wish that she could be here, wish that I could do something to help her. I throw the pillow away, I don't want to think her. I fall quickly in deep, dreamless sleep.


	25. Four's pov 12

\- Four's pov -

Zeke rushes to my room, woken up by my shouting. "What's the problem?" he asks and I just sit on my bed, trying to make sense what happened, what was a dream, what's real and where I am, with who. I start to rub my calf and explain "Oh, there was just a pain full cramp at my calf, sorry to wake you up." I can feel blood flowing to my cheeks and hope that Zeke doesn't see it. "It sounded like something completely different, more like somebody was either having a really good time or killing you. Had to come see that it isn't the later one, the reason for shouting." he says, shrugs and yawns. "I'm going back to bed. Night!" When Zeke leaves I drop my hands and laugh silently, his first guess had been close to truth. It had been a good, little weird, but a damn good dream. I just wish that it would have been true and not just a dream, the beginning had been so promising...

It takes a while to get back to sleep again and morning comes way too soon after that. When alarm goes on I head to shower, then shave, put on jeans and black t-shirt, get some breakfast. The Big Weeks program has nothing for me in this days program, they are just giving walking rounds to Government buildings and then there are real estate agents introducing housing options, rental and ownership. No need to buy or rent anything before the election but a possibility to make a preliminary-agreement which doesn't obligate on buying or renting if you loose in election. And on the evening there is a dinner party, held by some charity group, they are collecting money for children health care. I have two tickets to there, they were sold on pairs. Well I have tickets to all charity events, it's good publicity to attend those, or so Johanna had said when she convinced me for buying those. Sure they are and costly, I wouldn't have needed two tickets but had to get. So did Johanna get two tickets to every party so there is three excessive ones now when Johanna is at hospital in Chicago. I gave two extra tickets to Andrew, he is coming to dinners with his girlfriend Ann, honored by this change to meet and mingle. Well, he has done so good job here in Providence and now he's helping me out when I had to stand as Johanna's replacement, he deserves this. Maybe one day Andrew will be next Government member from Chicago?

And same thing tomorrow, more about children education, general health care arrangements for government members and their families and that golf tournament. I don't play golf, I know that maybe I should but for me it has always seemed more like waste of time, I enjoy more about other sports. Johanna had planned to participate to golf tournament but now she's at hospital and Andrew promised to take care of golf on her behalf. And the charity dinner is for homeless people, we had called them factionless or at least I think it's about the same thing. I don't know what they can do to help them with the money they will get from dinner party, it remains to be seen. Most of these events are for mingling and meeting new people, the charity is just an excuse to get money out from this, I think.

On Thursday I have few meetings with press, one is marked to be hold with Caleb, dinner party is for women's health organizations. For Friday there is just program for those that haven't been in Providence before, some city tours and free access to museums, workshops everywhere and that big fair begins, at evening, once again, a dinner party for men's health organizations. I think that I will skip the last one, because I have to make myself ready for next days sporting event, get to bed early and so on. Saturday will be spend with marathon. I haven't ever run a marathon, this will be first one and I'm little scared. Just hoping that I haven't taken too big bite to shew. I check the running program that Amar made for me, read parts about resting and meals. There is a lot to take care, it's not just get sneakers to feet and run. I need to take easy these last days before running and get my carbohydrate levels high and no more running before Saturday. So I have a lot of spare time then, spare time to hang around, I have seen most of this city, know places but I can get to know my future colleagues. And I have a lot of time for finding Alexa!

I take my leather jacket and head to Governments main building. When I'm walking there, it's about a 20 minutes walk from my apartment, I call to ICU, hoping to hear from Johanna. It takes a while, first I speak with her nurse Laura. Johanna is doing well, getting back to herself and there have not been any more swelling on her brain. She still needs some medication but Laura mentions that they are trying today to get Johanna up, sitting and maybe standing. She has problems with her short term memory and will have that for a long time but on other ways she is doing really well. Then I get to speak with her, she instantly know who I am but she's little confused what I'm doing in Providence and is it already the Big week, it cannot be. I promise to take care everything here if she just continues to get better and promise to meet her on Monday afternoon.

It's a lovely day, sun is shining and there are lots of people gathered in front of Government building, so I hang there. I take my jacket of, t-shirt is enough. Most of other people wears suits but I don't think that this is that kind of situation that needs a suit. I meet some my team members, just spending their time like myself and chat with some new candidates from various cities. After an half hour chatting with some Illinois candidates I spot a silver shaded car approaching the government building. My heartbeat quickens and I cannot fully concentrate what other candidate is saying. I smile briefly, attention on what is happening around the car.

Driver stops car near pavement and from front seat jumps out young man in blue suit. He opens back door and I can see James Matthews stepping out and after him there comes the one and only that I have been waiting for, Alexa. They are chatting together, Alexa looking her father like wanting an approval. I cannot get my eyes away from her, she is wearing same light pink suede jacket that she had when she came to meet me. With that jacket she has white dress and dark pink high heeled shoes, her black hair in chignon. I want to go and greet her but her father leads her with quick pace to indoors. Man that opened cars door follows them, looking around alert. Alexa doesn't even briefly look to my direction, her focus is with her father, fully. After a short while I excuse myself and go to indoors myself. I'm bit nervous now when I know that she's near. Then I remind that her father is also near and he didn't want me to meet his daughter. He cannot make a scene, I think and look around.

There is only few people inside, weather is too beautiful out, but it takes time before I spot James Matthews talking with one real estate manager, his back turned towards me, so he doesn't notice that I saw them. Alexa isn't there, where she could have gone? I look around and spot that man that came with them standing near coat racks, it's where the entrance to toilets are. I guess that she had gone there and man is guarding her. I walk casually there, like going to men's room. Man standing there looks me from head to toe but doesn't do anything, he lets me pass without any questions, he doesn't even turn and make sure that I go to men's room. I hear some noise from women's room, someone is blow drying her hands and I wait at doorway. Then I spot her, coming out from women's room. She jumps a bit when she sees me standing there, looking to her intensive. It's sure that she wasn't expecting anyone to be there. She looks back to me, smiles briefly like I'm someone stranger, her smile doesn't meet her eyes. There isn't even slightest hint of recognition in her eyes. I'm stunned but before I get to say anything she has gone and the man who is standing in guard, waiting for her, turns when he hears the sound that her high heeled shoes make when she walks in haste. He sees me standing thereand frowns alerted. I turn, go to men's room.

Why she just smiled like that? Why didn't she say anything? Didn't she recognize me? My mind is buzzing, I wasn't waiting that sort of response from her. I take some time before I get out from men's room, Alexa and James Matthews are gone and so is that real estate manager. Only that bodyguard remains, he is obviously waiting for me. "Mr Matthews asked me to remind you on one thing. He had given strict orders for you to stay away from his daughter. Do that and no harms will follow.". He nods, turns and marches away. There's nothing for me to say, it's clear that I cannot talk to Alexa in public, I have to think some other way to meet her. James truly is overprotective when it comes to her!

I don't see any more Alexa on that day but I keep up mingling, meeting other candidates. At late afternoon, just before I leave to home I meet Caleb. He's deep in his thoughts, browsing some brochure about rental homes near Government buildings and when I tap to his shoulder he jumps, spins around and then smiles. "Penny from your thoughts." I offer but he just shrugs. "Nothing that valuable." is the reply and I have to accept it. "Cara isn't feeling any better?" I ask and he shrugs again "I guess that she isn't, not sure. She was taken yesterday to hospital for some medication and fluids.". I can see that Caleb is worried but not telling everything and I let it be, we are not so close friends after all. "I don't know if this is the right place for me to be, I don't think that I would be a good government member, you would do it much better. And with you as an opponent it's almost impossible for me to win." He confessed and I looked him worrying. Everything isn't well, he's depressed. "Do you think that you and Cara can talk about your issues to some counselor, together or alone?" I ask.

He thinks for a while, then looks to me and nods. "But I'm not sure can anyone or anything help me, help us." He says, and continues "I have said things to Cara that I regret and she has said thing that I didn't want to know. She has done things that I didn't want to know but..." He sighs. "You know, this isn't easy." He really makes me worry but I don't know what to do to help him out, I'm afraid if I say something wrong. "Would you like to come with me, I'm going to home to change my clothes before that charity dinner? I cannot say what to do to you but I can listen if you want to talk". He hesitates, then shakes his head "I'm going to hospital, Cara will be released soon, they have done some studies today and she's released soon. I'm just waiting for her call." I smile "But that's good new, that she will get out from hospital. And are you coming to dinner tonight?" He hesitates again, looking around, not able to look to me. "I'm not sure, but see you there, if I, if we come, I don't know if we can make it on time, I have tickets but..." He says and his phone rings. He looks who is ringing, then smiles briefly "Excuse me..." and walks further before answering. I shrug, there's nothing that I can do and I think it's better that way, that I won't involve more on this matter.

I look what time it is, just the right time for me to head home. I cut my hair, shave, and go to shower. When I'm toweling my hair to dry at my bedroom I hear Zeke going to shower. I search my cufflinks from drawer, finally finding them. When I turn I see Zeke standing there by the bedroom door. He has changed his outfit for more suitable to dinner; because I had two tickets for myself Zeke promised to join for at least to this dinner and tomorrows, food will be good and it would be waste of money if we don't use them. And Zeke has gotten a really nice suit for himself, looking handsome. If only Shauna could see him like that! "Zeke, one thing... smile!" I take my phone and snap a picture of him and then send it quickly to Shauna before he takes my phone from my hand and wants to erase it, he doesn't like to model for photos. She replies almost instantly "Tell to Zeke to have fun but behave nicely, don't let him drink too much!". I show the message to Zeke and he frowns a bit, then laughs. "Oh, she doesn't need to worry. I'm not after you, even you look neat, Four. That suit really suits you." He smirks.

People are gathering to winter gardens, there is one great hall surrounded with exotic flowers that has enough room for events like this. Smaller greenhouses surround this hall, creating unique worlds, escape places from ordinary life. I haven't been in any place like this before, neither have Zeke. I look around, stunned by flowers and arboretum, then I spot table chart. I take my tickets and look from those which table we are looking up; the Banana Tree. I smile a bit, all tables are named after some flower or tree that grows here. We walk around and then there it is, table "the Banana Tree", center piece big bowl filled with bananas. I try hard for not to laugh and hear Zeke snigger. I give him another ticket "you have seat number eight and I seem to have seat number four". Zeke's shoulders are shaking from silent laughter before he manages to state that "of course Four, you seat number is four, on the Banana Tree." I roll my eyes and know that Zeke will bring this up many times in future. Us two, going to dinner, being seated to banana tree... When we walk to table I spot Andrew and from other corner of great hall I spot, but I'm not sure, Caleb. I cannot say which woman sitting at Andrew's table is Ann but I'm sure I'm going to meet her later. More than that I hope that I saw Caleb there, accompanied with Cara, that would be great for those two.

I introduce us to other diners already seated to table "I'm Tobias Eaton and this is close personal friend of mine, Zeke Pedrad. And we are from Chicago." They nod, introduce themselves and I note that they are from all over States, this is a good time to mix and mingle, get to know new people. We get some looks and Zeke hurries to explain that my date couldn't make for this dinner so he's my friend and just a replacement, we are not a couple together. There is some bit nervous laughs and then chatting continues like it had been before our arrival. There are two seats empty on our table and dinner is about to begin. Then I spot one man that I know far too well coming towards the table and he's accompanied with a beautiful girl, his daughter. She's wearing really sparkling evening dress that changes color from silver on top to dark blue on hem. She is absolutely stunning and I see that other men is looking after her too. James seems to be proud, escorting her towards our table. She looks to dinner tickets shes holding and smiles "Your seat is number one, because you are the best, daddy and I seem to have seat number five.". She looks around and spots her seat and I note that then James sees me and realizes that I'm going to be seated next to his daughter. He frowns, opens his mouth like wanting to say something but he doesn't want to make a scene. He cannot do anything, waitresses are approaching with starters. I help a chair for her first and then sit down myself. I cannot believe in my luck!

When we have gotten starters I see that Alexa turns towards me, smiles a bit. She extends her hand to me, I take it. "I'm Erica Matthews, from Milwaukee. Nice to meet you, sir...". There is a question and I wonder what game she is playing but reply "I'm Tobias Eaton, from Chicago, really nice to meet you again, Alexa.". She looks surprised, eyes wide open and her mouth in shape of o. I would like to place a kiss on those beautiful rose colored lips. "How did you know that name mr Eaton? No one calls me Alexa anymore, that was the name my brother used to call me years ago." I look across the table, see Zeke smirking, trying really hard for not to laugh aloud. He surely knows who is seated next to me and what she is to me. And then I see her father, glaring to me, looking angry, annoyed but when hearing Alexa's answers he smiles self-satisfied. What this is? What is this game that she is playing or is it a game. If not then something has happened to her, something has done to her and I need to know what and by whom.


	26. Caleb pov 12

\- Caleb pov -

I slept soundly until few hours of morning. Then I was suddenly totally awake. I have a bit of headache and I go to toilet, get some painkiller and drink water. I look myself from mirror and wonder why I have this terrible feeling that I have done something wrong. What had I done? Then I realized that it must be because of Cara. I haven't treated her well, I should have been a better man. After all she was expecting my child, even though I haven't wanted it nor we haven't planned to have another child. She had done wrong but so had I, I wasn't any better than she was. I sighted, took my phone. It was 4:07 am, too early to call for her. I sent a text message. _"Cara, I'm sorry, I haven't done justice for you. I want to meet you, talk with you. Call when I can come."_ Then all I can do is wait. I go back to bed, reorganize pillows and blankets, trying to catch sleep once again. I look to my phone, it's 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, 15 minutes since I send that message. _  
_

She doesn't reply, she's probably asleep, like any sane human is in these hours. I cannot sleep anymore so I get out from bed, go to look out from window. City is really dark, only few lights here and there. I pressed my forehead against the window, I want to see the view, not my reflection. There is a helicopter flying over city, then landing on some rooftop not far away. Sirens wail, then comes silence once again. Then it hits me, I realized that I had hurt the woman I had loved so long, the woman that I promised to cherish, honor, who I still loved, despite my words I said to her when I was angry, hurt. I couldn't have hurt her more even with beating, I had left her alone in my bitter anger and jealousy. I had thought that everything was fine between us, that we had solved our problems and I didn't support her, listen what she had to say. I had been too much away, concentrating on myself and my career. I realize that this all had been my fault, Cara haven't been happy with me, I haven't supported her like I should have. She wouldn't have gone with Matthew if I had been enough for her.

Finally treas dry and I feel drenched. I sigh, look to phone. No messages, no calls, it's still too early. I drink some water, eat a banana and an apple and wait, wait, wait. Then, at 6:48 comes message _"If you want to come, be here at 8:30, I have doctors appointment then. You can be there too."_ I feel sudden bang of relief, she wants me there or at least she allows me to be there. I think that I have a chance, she haven't totally shut me out from everything. Maybe I can turn this better, create a peace between us. She had sounded so hurt last night when we talked on phone, so depressed and I have an urge to make her feel better. I look to watch, I have little less than two hours time and I know what I need to do, something that I always do to make her feel better.

First I go to buy green apples, they where her favorite when she was carrying Beata. Then I go to local bakery, it has just opened doors and find some big pretzels, not the same but close enough which Cara craved when she was expecting Allen. Then is one last thing, a bouquet of red roses. I hope she accepts my apologize. I take a taxi to hospital, it's quite far away from hotel. It takes little time to find the right ward and then I have to ask from nurses to right room. Nurse looks me thoroughly before leading me to room 7, Cara's room. She is there, resting, looking small, fragile, pale, hurt. "Good morning mrs Prior, how are you feeling?". She looks to nurse and manages to smile a bit when answering "I'm doing better, no more bleeding and I haven't vomited this morning, little nausea still.". She looks back to me. "I didn't think that you would come" she states and I blush a bit. "I wanted to come." Nurse looks from me to her and backs from room "I come to take you when the doctor is ready and I will bring a vase for those flowers.". Then she's gone and we are together. Cara looks away.

"Cara, I'm sorry, I didn't treat you like I should have. I was still too hurt, too jealous, too selfish...". She cuts my explanation "And too relieved when I told that doctors think that I may have a miscarriage, I heard it from your voice and from your responce." She surely sounds bitter now. "Cara, you know me. You remember how it was when you told that you were expecting Beata, you remember my reactions back then, it's not more than little over year ago." She still looks away and nods. "You really have made it perfectly clear that you don't want me or my children in your life, we are just a burden for you and you are glad when you can get rid of us by divorcing me." I sigh, I know that I have been a total idiot, but it hurts to hear her say that.

I walk to other side of bed, wanting her to look to me. "Cara, please, listen. I know that I did wrong to you, I didn't listen what you said.". Finally she looks to me and I can see that she is sad but angry at same time. "Yes, that's the problem. You don't listen what I say. You get angry, do irrational decisions and then just bring some stupid presents like flowers or something to eat and think that all is okay after that. Forgiven and forgotten." She is scolding me and I cannot do anything else than nod. That is what I do. "I just wanted you to be a man, I wanted you to say aloud your feelings and show them, I wanted to hear you to say that you love me, out in public where someone other might have heard that. I wanted you to hold my hand, kiss me, embrace me out in public, no matter who else is there. You were too prevented, never showed your emotions. Never said how proud you were on your kids." I see tears come to her eyes and she wipes them away, angrily. "You always made me feel so... little, naive, stupid and minor, compared to you. You never showed your true feelings, you never said them out aloud. It was just the silence that was too much and you made all big decisions without asking my opinion, like should you become a politician instead of a scientist, should you run for this election to Government, you even said how many children we should have. When we were just dating you said you want many children, when Allen was born you said that it's enough. You never asked my opinion. Just brought some flowers and chocolate and thought thats fine by it, end of discussion which we never ever had. Like you were the man, head of the house and only one that mattered, no matter what I think or what my feelings are, no matter how you had hurt me, little flowers and something sweet works for little lady every time."

I just listen her, let her talk everything out. Then it hits me, she is talking in past tense, like everything is all over for her. She had been the one that was begging me not to get divorce, begging me to come back, following me up to Providence. Now she is talking like this? There were a different note in her speech yesterday and last week. What had changed her mind? I had though that it would be easy, just to say that I apologize, I'm sorry, I was an idiot and that would solve much, even if I cannot forget I can try to forget. "I cannot promise that I can change but if you want I'm willing to do my best. If you want I will hold your hand, support you. I have never thought that you were some sort of minor to me. When I saw you giving birth to Allen I knew that I never ever want to make you go through that pain again. Seeing you suffering almost broke my heart and even though having Allen is one of best things in my life, losing you would have been too much for a price. And I was scared of that." She turns her head away and I don't know what she is thinking. I wait for some answer when the nurse comes with a wheelchair. "Okay, mrs Prior, the doctor will see you now. You can push her to examination room 2, mr Prior." She takes the vase from wheelchair and smiles to us "And I put these lovely roses to water, it was really nice for you to bring those." She chatters like she doesn't sense the hostile atmosphere in room.

Cara gets to wheelchair with pointing out "I can walk, you know." and I smile "I can push you and I think that it's hospitals policy that you need to be pushed.". Nurse points to right "You go to right and at the end of corridor turn left. The examination room is on right hand side, third door if I remember correctly." I follow her instructions and there it is, just like she said. Door is little bit open and I knock to it and follow the "come in" order.

Doctor is an older male, about same age that my father would be if he had lived. He stands up when we get in and asks Cara to climb to examination table. She nods and smiles a bit, I can see that she is really nervous. "I ask just few questions first." He asks about Cara's periods, symptoms, medication before pregnancy, how much she had bleed and so on and so on. Then he looks to me. "You can sit there, I'm going to do a basic examination and you can hold your wifes hand during it. It shouldn't hurt but we need to check for what was the reason for bleeding. And then I do the ultrasound, I know it's an old technique but it's only liable on these early weeks, if you know how to use it right. I have to say that your blood results from this morning just came and hormone levels are way too high for miscarriage, so I don't believe that was the reason for bleeding but they were too high for pregnancy that is in fifth week also. But after examination we know more, that is sure."

He starts his routine, with little "Hmm, aha, hmmm, let's see" comments. Some time after he started a nurse steps in and he starts making the ultrasound examination and same time he does the dictation using mostly Latin words, nurse writes measurements and all down to pad with speed. I understand some and I know that Cara might understand more, but most of what he says doesn't make any sense to us. We look to each other, then to doctor, worried if there truly is something wrong. He takes really many measurements, calculations and make notes, prints pictures. It takes a long time before he turns to us and explains "As you can see from that monitor above, there is an ultrasound picture from uterus. And there is this big dark cloud of blood, it's going to bleed out on next days. But then there is also this". He gets a pointer pen and circles one black dot on screen "and when we zoom to that, inside is an very early stages of embryo. We cannot see the heart beat yet, maybe next week will show it. But the interesting thing here is this." He first zooms out, then bit to right or left, I don't know which way, and there is another black dot, little different shaped. "Here is an another one, very early staged embryo. So it seems that you are going to have twins, maybe there were third one but you have miscarried it and that is the reason for bleeding. Today is Tuesday so nurse will make a reservation for blood tests on Wednesday and on Friday and I will do another scan then. And I will describe some medication for you that helps with nausea, you can take it without any concerns, it's safe for both you, safe for you and the embryo I mean, safer than constant vomiting is. And when you get back to Chicago you should make an appointment to your own doctor.".

Cara climbs down from examination bed and sits back to wheelchair. I'm too stunned to do anything and Cara looks to me "Please, Caleb, get me back to my room." she asks and I finally stand up. Next thing that I know is that my legs fail and I fall to floor, unconscious. I don't know how long I was there, on the floor before I gain my consciousness, nurse is holding my legs high above my head and I feel myself ridiculous. Cara looks little pissed and nurse is very sympathetic, reassuring that "you are not the first father who faints out after hearing this big news." "I'm feeling okay" I tell to them and nurse looks to me "you look little pale, please don't pass out again." Cara looks to walls then to me "Just please Caleb, get your act together."

I take her to her room, she gets to bed and turns her back to me. "Cara, please, talk to me." I beg and she just waves by her hand "Caleb, please, go, let me be alone, let me think. I will call to you when I will be released from hospital, it seems that I will be hole week, in Providence I mean. If you can get a hotel room for me, it would be nicely done. But now, please go." I'm so shocked that I go, but from the door I turn and take a look to Cara. She is reaching for her phone and I feel little anger growing inside. She wants to talk with someone but not with me, her husband. It hurts, it truly hurts.

I walk out from hospital and just walk without a goal. I just keep on thinking what Cara had said and I know that she had a point in there. It's difficult for me to share my feelings, including with those who I love. I'm not used to it and it wasn't normal in my family when I was a child. I had tried and I had talked about that with Cara many times and still she didn't understand it, or so it seems. And then I wonder if Cara had told truth, obvious is that she is pregnant but I'm not sure if I can believe her in fatherhood case. Well, I cannot ask from Matthew if he's sterile or could I? And would he tell the truth?

I don't know how I ended up in here, but here I am, at Government main buildings. There was some happening in here and I take one brochure, look up how much a rental home would cost in here. They are definitely in higher prices than in Chicago and I think that we cannot, I cannot afford to have a rental apartment here and in Chicago. "Penny from your thoughts." I hear Four's voice and jump, then turn and sigh. "Nothing that valuable." He looks me worried and asks "Cara isn't feeling any better?" I know that I don't want to tell him about twins, about my visit in hospital and what Cara had said so I reply just like I haven't talked with her nor met her today. "I guess that she isn't, not sure. She was taken yesterday to hospital for some medication and fluids.". I can see a doubt in his look but leaves that issue, seeing that I don't want to talk about it. That's a relief and I must say that "I don't know if this is the right place for me to be, I don't think that I would be a good government member, you would do it much better. And with you as an opponent it's impossible for me to win." After being send out by Cara and seeing these prices for housing here I feel like there is no use for me to be part in this game. If it would be possible I would resign from campaign but I think that it's not possible. He misunderstands my feelings and motives and asks that if I should talk about my marriage and issues in it with some counselor or with him. When he offers that I can come with him I remember what Cara said that she will call to me. "I'm going to hospital, Cara will be released soon, they have done some studies today and she's released soon. I'm just waiting for her call." Then I realize that when I say it I admit that I had spoken with Cara and I know well how she is doing. He smiles to me, I guess that he noticed the same. He asks if we are coming to that charity event at evening but I don't want to promise anything. Then my phone rings, I take a look to it and see Cara's name. "Excuse me..." is all that I say to Four and walk away before answering.

"Hi Cara." Is what I say, I had many other lines in my mind but Four mixed my thoughts, once again. "Hi Caleb, can you come and pick me up at 2:30 pm?" She is so polite in her words. I breath out, smile "yes, I will be there by then."

I'm in time at hospital and once again I need to push wheelchair to front doors. Cara looks better than she was in morning, I note that she has some makeup on her face. That's probably the reason for difference. We get a taxi and through the mileage from hospital to hotel we sit in silence. I pay the taxi and we go in, Cara looks to me. "Did you get the room that I asked?" she asks and I shake my head. "If it's not too bad for you I would like you to stay in same room with me. Most of hotels are fully booked for this week, there is so many candidates with families and assistants so there isn't any extra rooms anywhere." I say and she thinks it for a long time "Then I guess that I don't have any other choice." she finally replies, she is seemingly reluctant to spend any more nights in same hotel room but that is the truth, there is no other rooms left in hole city. "No, unfortunately for you, if you want to see it in that way. But I don't, I want to talk with you, be with you and see if anything good comes out from this mess." She looks away then back to me. "The thing is now that I don't have much clothing and my nightgown and set of underwear was destroyed when I got hospitalized, they were soaked in blood and thrown away. So I need to do some shopping." I smile to her "I take you to some stores near this hotel and we will buy anything you need but only if you get a evening dress or two. I have four charity dinners that I should attend and I would very much like if you could be my date on those." I promise. "You are blackmailing me" she says but doesn't look angry. "Can you walk or should we take a taxi?" I ask and she glares to me. "I will walk, don't try to patronize me Caleb."

We have a nice afternoon together, she gets some underwear, some shirts and one set of trousers as wel as that nightgown. Evening dresses are harder to find, she protests that she won't fit in those long enough to make them reasonable in price, they are quite expensive. But then there is one bridal shop that is selling last seasons bridesmaids dresses on great discount, up to 70% and from there Cara finds one emerald green dress that fits her perfect and enhances her eyes color. She tries to protest but I insist that we buy this dress in this emerald color and then I pick the blue dress from hanger; same cut, same style, only difference is in color. "And this one. Then you need some shoes and an evening bag, I think." She just shakes her head but doesn't protest more. We have a lot to carry back to hotel.

We change our clothes, I help her to pull up the zipper in her dress. I look to her, she looks back to me. "You look so pretty" I say and she blushes a bit but replies "And you look so handsome.". She has put just a bit more of makeup and she surely looks radiant. "I called to my mother that I will stay here for rest of week and she was happy." I nod, this is not the right time to start this conversation again, but I bet that she has told everything to her mother, they are kind of close in that way. I just hope that Dara has said something to Cara that helps her, something comforting when I haven't been there supporting her. I hope that Dara doesn't hate me now, after this all. After all she is only grandmother to my son.

At winter gardens I'm blown away with the view, I haven't ever seen anything like that, there are plants that I didn't know that existed anymore. There are more flowers than I have seen anywhere, more exotic trees. I look from table chart where our table is, the Rose Wood and we are located near the kitchen, a nice table for 8, filled with wases full of roses in any color you can imagine. There is one couple seated already and after us two more comes, the men are candidates and they have their wifes as their companion. I try to look if I see anyone that I know but no luck so far. Just when they are starting the service I spot Alexa arriving with her father. I haven't met him, at least I don't remember that I have but Cara knows him, of course she does, I know it from how she looks to them. And I have to say that Alexa looks really pretty. Then I see that they are going to same table with Four and Alexa sits next to him. This can be interesting!

Dinner is good, we chat between the courses. From time to time I look to Cara, she is smiling, talking with men seated next to her, charming them, making them laugh. She is good in this, she should be a candidate, she could win the election. I notice that she doesn't drink the wine served on dinner and so does the woman seated on my right. "Is your pretty wife expecting?" she whispers and I just smile to her, not confirming anything. I'm not sure if Cara wants her pregnancy out and open for discussion and I turn conversation on her family. They have one foster girl who is five and half years old. "Oh, little older than my son, he will be four years at end of this year." I tell to her and she smiles. "They grow up so fast. We were unable to have any children on our own but then this foster girl was given to us like a gift from God. She is so flawless that you cannot imagine, pretty... She has been so happy when we got here and cannot wait for fun fair to open, that open air concert and that big fireworks show after that... oh, let me show her picture! I never get bored to do that, ask from Jim, he will tell the same – and show pictures like a proud daddy does."

She takes her phone from her evening bag and searches a while. "This was taken when Kiara was at preschool". I have lost my words, I'm looking older version of Beata, the girl on the picture could be her, only few years older, if not her then at least a big sister. Same kind of smile, same shape and color in eyes, same color in hair. She looks like Beata and more, she looks like Beatrice. This cannot be a coincidence, shivers go down on my spine and I look to Cara. More than ever I need to know who are Beata's biological parents. "Oh, your girl are truly really pretty! Excuse me, but where do you come from, I forgot if I asked that already." I manage say, but in truth I'm shocked. "We come from Milwaukee and you were from Chicago, if I remember correctly?" She replies. I manage to nod.


	27. Four pov 13

Expat24 - Thanks for your comments and sorry for the cliffhangers :-p They are inevitable. And Savanah Rose thanks for your comment(s) also, they are always nice to have!

As well as other commentators and comments would be mostly welcomed...

oOoOoOo

\- Four's pov -

Alexa looks to me, confused. "Oh, I thought you remembered me, I knew your brother, he was same age than I am. We were in same faction, same initiation group." I explain to her but she shakes her head, puzzled look in her eyes. "It's not possible, my brother has died over 10 years ago and he never lived in Chicago. We are from Milwaukee, as I said.". Then I see some spark come to her eyes, some recognition and she smiles genuinely to me. "My mistake" I reply, wondering what kind of game this was, what were the rules and why did we play this. She shakes little her head and then turns her attention back to her father, sitting across the table and smiles to him. I can see that her hand which is holding knife trembles a bit and I know I have made her edgy.

We eat our starters, then comes the main course. Food is good, there's plenty of it. Most of Alexa's attention goes to eating and following her fathers expressions. I can hear that she is having a really polite conversation with a man seated on her left side, this makes her father pleased. I feel like she wants to forget my existence completely. Woman from my right side tries to have a small talk conversation with me. Most of time she talks and I listen, just make little "hmm, aha, really?" comments which just keeps her going on. She's talking about the importance of children's education, something that I don't know much about, nor have opinions. From time to time I look to Zeke who is still struggling for not to laugh. James Matthews doesn't pay any attention to him, he concentrates on talking with a man seated his left side and man on Zeke's right side doesn't talk much with anyone, he just concentrates eating her food and looking bored, he must be that chatterboxes husband.

After the main course Alexa turns back to me, smiles briefly and whispers "excuse me" and leaves the table. I rise a bit and look after where she is going, apparently to woman's room. Then I look to James Matthews, his jaws are tighten and he gazes me in the way that if looks could kill I could be dead. Then he turns to man sitting on his left side and continues that casual dinner talk that they were having but he keeps on looking from time to time disapprovingly to me. Alexa slips back to her seat just when they start serving desserts, she smiles and thanks for the waitress, places her small silvery handbag next to her and takes her napkin. At the same time her bag drops and I bend to raise it, same time than she does. I give her handbag to her and our hands touch each other under the table. Her hand feels warm and she slips a note to my hand and smiles "Thank you, mr Eaton.". I smile back to her "You're welcome miss Matthews." and wink my eye. She blushes a bit, I hide the note to my pocket and start eating the dessert.

When we are about to finish eating there is a tap on microphone and our hostes takes an opportunity to say few words. She thanks us for being here and tells few details of their charity work. They will have some raffle later on and they are selling tickets for that and dancing is beginning before that and continues until midnight. In smaller greenhouses are different exhibitions, including some art exhibition, drawn by kids who has leukemia and other cancers. "But first, let's begin with dancing. Gentlemen who are seated with a lady on their left, please come and fill the floor!" I look to Alexa and see her eyes sparkle. I don't hesitate, I stand up and extend my right hand to Alexa with a little bow and she takes it smiling, standing up herself. She doesn't even look to her father and I don't have to, I know very well that he doesn't approve this, he just cannot make a scene.

Lights dim out and lanterns on trees switch on, making this place feel more magical. We walk in middle of dance floor, in middle of this big hall holding dinner event. I take dancing position, I'm not a good dancer but Johanna has taught some basic movements so I won't embarrass myself on dance floor. Music is slow, dreamlike and I pull Alexa close to me, she fits there like she was made for dancing with me. Even when wearing high heeled shoes she still is shorter than I am. I can smell her perfume and I feel like I will never want to let her go away again. This is her place, here it where she belongs. She smiles and whispers "Finally, I have been so scared out this whole dinner that I could hardly eat. I didn't realize before how much my father hates you but now seeing his behaviour at dinner table it's obvious. He thinks that he can control my memories but he doesn't know that serums and SIMs don't affect to me, or they do but it doesn't last long before I realize that it's not real. I can just shrug them of me, wipe them away. It's just easier to pretend in his presence that they have wiped last six month away from my memory than let them to continue tests and ways to make me really forget and make me his little obedient puppet. It's just hard to keep on this act when you are around."

I try to hide my smile but at same time I feel a really strong urge to protect her, to go against her father. "Oh, you fooled me totally, your looks and ways you treated me..." She smiles a bit "He gave me some of that serum on morning, before we got to Government's main building, just in case I will meet you there. I didn't recognize you until it was too late and then my bodyguard was there, one of fathers conditions for taking me here. And now he gave another dose just before we got here, bigger one. I recognized you when you called my name, when I heard your voice. I had to turn myself away from you or my father would have known instantly that his serum doesn't work a bit when I'm with you." She rests her head to my shoulder and places her right hand to my heart "I missed you" she whispers and I whisper back "And I missed you.".

There is so much I want to talk with her, so much I need to ask but this is not the right place or time, her father is too close, guarding her. And more than talk I want to kiss her. She has the same perfume that she had before; roses, sandalwood, vanilla and her scent is jeopardizing my efforts to keep cool around her, at least as long as her father sees us. I lead her further away from our dinner table, swing her around and when we reach the opposite corner of the hall I look out for James. He's not looking so I take Alexa's hand in mine and we slip to next, smaller greenhouse and from there to next one. Alexa giggles but I know that we cannot hide for long, James will come after us when he sees that we are no longer dancing.

There is a greenhouse where is only blossoming lilies and no other dinner guests. I take Alexa there and finally kiss her, like I have wanted for an eternity. She kisses back and I lost track of time and place completely. Then someone coughs at my back and I let Alexa go, we both are blushing. "I just came to warn you, her father is really angry and he's searching for you two." Zeke tells and then extends his hand "If you could come with me, miss Matthews, I'll be your knight in shining armor and rescue you from this man. And Four, please wipe that lipstick off, it doesn't suit you.". Zeke is smirking, Alexa quickly adjusts her lips, adds some more rose colored lipstick and smiles to me. "I don't want to go but I don't want my father to find us. I will see you again, Tobias." Then she goes with Zeke, from doorway to another greenhouse she turns and sends a flying kiss.

I go to bench, sit down, mind spinning and heart racing. Then I remember that she slipped some note to me during the dinner and take it from my pocket. " _Under that old oak in Central Park, tomorrow at midnight._ " I put the note away and take my phone out, casually just browsing through it when I hear footsteps approaching. I prepare myself for meeting with an angry father but there comes Andrew and Ann hand in hand, talking together, Ann giggling.

"Oh, hi Tobias! Ann, this gentleman here is my boss, mr Tobias Eaton. He is Chicago's another candidate for election, you met the opponent, mr Prior before. And Tobias, this is Ann, my girlfriend." Ann extends her hand and smiles "Nice to meet you, mr Eaton." and I shake her hand "Nice to meet you, but don't believe in everything that Andrew tells to you about me.". I wink and she giggles more. Just then James Matthews walk in the same greenhouse and looks to me, then around like I could be hiding Alexa behind my back. He continues to next greenhouse and Andrew looks to me, questioning. I shrug, like I wouldn't know what is going on. "Wasn't that the Milwaukee's candidate?" he asks and I nod "Yes he is, he was seated at same table with me." Ann looks after James "And he was that one with a really young girlfriend or wife and they arrived little late?" I can hear that she doesn't approve James Matthews actions and I need to correct her "she is his daughter, not a wife, girlfriend or a date. And by the way, the man that came with me is just one of my friends, not my boyfriend, in case you were wondering." Ann blushes a bit but smiles then "don't worry, I saw you dancing with that girl and the way you were close and held each other was so intimate so I wouldn't ever believe that you are more interested in men. I just thought that her father was a jealous husband or boyfriend and didn't like what he saw when you two were dancing."

I see Cara and Caleb coming, they are not walking hand in hand but they don't look over hostile against each other. I nod to Andrew and Ann "It was nice meeting you both, and Andrew, I will be seeing you tomorrow?" He nods and they continue their walk, I go to meet Cara. "Hello Cara, you look stunning!" I kiss her cheeks and she laughs. "Oh, you flatter me as always Four.". We chat a while and when I see how they interact, how Cara looks to Caleb when he doesn't see and how Caleb looks to Cara when she's not paying any attention to him I feel that there is some hope between those two. All isn't lost and it makes me hopeful.

Then I spot James Matthews again and he's frowning to me, then marches here, regardless of Cara and Caleb. "Where is Erica?" He asks angrily and I smirk and shrug. "Honestly, I don't know." I reply and he comes really close to me. "I have said this before but I say this again; you must stay away from my daughter. Stay away or your daughter will suffer the consequences. Do I make myself clear?" He threatens and I raise my eyebrows "And you have wiped her memory because of that? You don't trust in your own daughter?". I cross my hands in front of me and stand there, ready to defend myself. He looks briefly to Caleb, then back to me. "I know some really dirty secrets from both of you that it's up to me who will be the next one from Chicago that goes to Government. So be careful." He turns and marches back to big hall.

I look after him and notice that both Cara and Caleb are staring me stunned. "You have a daughter?" Caleb asks and I hesitate a while before I nod. "Not by my choice, she was a genetically experiment, made by the Bureau". Caleb looks confused "But you said that you didn't have and you had lied when you asked Alexa's phone number... oh wait... Alexa was that surrogate, right? That is the connection between you two." I nod, Caleb remembered far too well. "You are right, Alexa was that surrogate." Cara looks absolutely stunned before she finally manages to ask "How... how old is she?". I sigh, I don't like to talk my personal matters to anyone. "She is about 5 and half years old and lives in Milwaukee.". Caleb goes pale. "I was seated at dinner next to this lady, Juliet that was from Milwaukee and she had with her husband a foster child that was about that age, little over 5 years and she showed girls picture. She looked a lot like... a lot like Beata.." last part comes as a whisper and he turns to look to Cara, so do I. Cara turns around and runs away without saying anything and Caleb goes after her. I stand still, astonished. Then I realize that Kiara's foster parents are here, at Providence as well as Kiara. I have chances to meet her, finally.

I walk back to great hall, there is still music playing and couples dancing. I cannot see Caleb or Cara anywhere but I see James talking with Zeke. He's scolding Zeke who just shrugs and stands like he doesn't care. Then I see Alexa, finally, dancing with some older man that I don't know. I'm bit jealous even when there is no need for that. When music ends that older man leads Alexa back to her father and they leave. I go to Zeke who is shaking his head. "Well, what did you do this time?" I ask and he turns to see me. "No need to thank me. I just saved your ass from that overpossessive and overprotective loony. What have you done to James Matthews that makes him hate you so much?" I look away, then back to Zeke. "Didn't you know that he was Eric's father? And Jeanine Matthews brother?" He looks surprised "I figured out that he was related to Jeanine, they share the looks like siblings usually does and now when you say it he sure has same look than Eric had but Eric wasn't Matthews, was he?". We start to walk towards the doors, it's time to leave, no need to stay any longer.

"I guess that he used his mothers maiden name Coulter to protect his backgrounds and not to make so obvious that he was related to Jeanine. I guess that made it easier for him to raise for leadership in Dauntless, there would have been questioning about his Erudite connections if we had known that Jeanine was his aunt." I explain to him. Zeke nods and says like he's not really buying it "And that's all why he hates you...". I smirk a bit and point out "And you have met his lovely daughter Alexa." Zeke laughs "I was dancing with her when that loony cut between and started lecturing me. And I know what you have done with her, she was the one that got away, I remember. And I saw you two kissing there, in the Lily greenhouse." I blush a bit, then whistle. He laughs "What ever it is between you two, you can count on me. I can hold your secrets and offer an alibi any time. And if you need I will be your knight in shining armor. She's a really lovely person, not like her father or her brother. But one thing, please inform to me before she comes to your apartment, I will go for a long walk... a really long one so you can be together without me on sofa. Understand?" He looks to my eyes and I clap his shoulder. "I guess that it won't happen but I let you know before, I don't want your eavesdropping us.". Zeke laughs and after a while, I laugh too, little blushed. I was just wondering what kind of underwear she likes to use.


	28. Caleb pov 13

Big thanks for everyone for leaving comments! I have read those and will get back to them later. And here comes another cliffhanger :-p (well, not so bad one, I think)

oOoOoOo

\- Caleb's pov -

Rest of dinner goes in light shock, I cannot believe what I saw when she showed her daughters, foster daughters photo. From time to time I take a look to Cara, there is so much things I need to ask, main thing is to find out who are Beata's biological parents. How could a couple from Milwaukee have a child who was so much alike with Beata and more, so much alike with my sister? Somehow I manage to keep up that small talk with Julia, Kiara's foster mother. I hear Cara's laughter, it sounds nice but somehow at same time it annoys me, how can she sit there and laugh after all what she has done?

When the dinner is over and dancing begins Julia and Jim excuses themselves and leave. I see Cara going to dance with some man and I just sit in there, still little stunned. My gaze follows Cara and I spot that Four is dancing too, with some dark haired girl. It takes a while before I recognize that the girl is who else than my former intern Alexa. There is something going on between those two, they are whispering together and the way how Four holds her, I haven't seen him doing so with any other girl than my sister. They seem really intimate, like there is no-one else than them. I smile a bit, it's nice to see that but it's also a surprise, I know that Four is really private person. He wouldn't show any affection if he really didn't feel it. I need to speak with Alexa, I want to know why she had to leave so suddenly but before I get myself up I note that they slip from this big greenhouse to smaller one.

When I stand up the man who danced with Cara brings her back to table. Cara looks to me "Are we leaving already?" she asks but I shake my head "No, if you are not tired. I want to talk with some people first.". She smiles "And I would like to see these greenhouses, they truly are magnificent!". We walk to smaller greenhouses and it surprises me how many there are, one greenhouse after another, filled with various plants. Flowers bloom everywhere and it smells like... well like a fresh nature should, little soil, little humid and all those flowers fill their houses with unique scents. It would be fun to work in place like this! There is even few plants that I don't recognize, I have to search labels for those. I look to Cara, she seems be as stunned as I am with all of this. "Do you remember that work what we did in laboratories back in old days?" I ask from her and she nods "We were just beginners compared to this all... I didn't know that there is so many different types of roses and all other that is here... these are just... mind blowing.". I see how Cara smiles, she truly is loving this place as well as I do. "You know, I could work in place like this." I say and she nods "You would fit in perfectly!".

Next greenhouse is labeled "Lily's house" and we walk there. I'm looking around and don't at first pay any attention to other diners in the room. Then I hear Four greeting Cara, see him kissing her cheeks. Alexa isn't there, I wonder where she has gone. We talk for a while, just normal chatting that people do in this kind of public things. From time to time I look to Cara, just to see how she is doing. She must be getting tired, but no, she just smiles and looks like she's just fine. I'm just about suggesting that we keep on going when some man comes to shout to Four. "Where is Erica?". I think that I know who he is but it takes a while to remember his name, James Matthews, and he is really angry. He stands close to Four who seems to be is just set back and relaxed as always. "I have said this before but I say this again; you must stay away from my daughter. Stay away or your daughter will suffer the consequences. Do I make myself clear?". I cannot help than yelp a little from surprise. James looks briefly to me, like noticing first time my existence, then his attention is back to Four. "I know some really dirty secrets from both of you that it's up to me who will be the next one from Chicago that goes to Government. So be careful." He looks back to me before leaving. Then it hits me what he said, Four has a daughter.

"You have a daughter?" I have to ask from him just to make sure that I heard correctly and he hesitates before he nods. "Not by my choice, she was a genetically experiment, made by the Bureau". I remember when he told that first time but then disputed it. "But you said that you didn't have and you had lied when you asked Alexa's phone number... oh wait... Alexa was that surrogate, right? That is the connection between you two." Now I remember and understand that bond between those two. What I don't know is why James Matthews seems to hate Four. Cara asks how old his daughter is when Four answers "She is about 5 and half years old and lives in Milwaukee.". I feel shivers, I must have been that girl in the photo that Juliet had shown me when we were talking about our children. "I was seated at dinner next to this lady, Juliet that was from Milwaukee and she had with her husband a foster child that was about that age, little over 5 years and she showed girls picture. She looked a lot like... a lot like Beata...". I turn to look to Cara, who has gone pale. Before I get to say anything more she turns around and nearly runs away. I go after her "Wait, Cara, please! Wait!" I try to shout to her but she is in hurry. Lucky for me she has to wait for taxi so I meet her outside. I see the panicked look on her face, she's going to have a panic attack any time. "Cara, come down. Look to me." I place my hands on her shoulders and give short orders. Slowly her breathing slows down, she blinks few times and then blushes.

"Sorry Caleb, I explain later" she says when taxi comes. We fell in silence, she is staring out from window and I keep on looking her. She is going through some emotional storm, just hanging there, trying just to not fall apart right now. We get to hotel room and she takes her phone. "I have to call to Matty." She says and dials his number before I get to say anything. She keeps looking to me and puts the phone on speaker so I can hear too. It takes some time before he answers, sounding really sleepy, she must have waken him up. "Cara? Is there something wrong?" He asks and I can hear genuine concern in his voice. "I was in one dinner tonight and something came up." Cara starts but then looses her words for awhile. "Yes?" Matthew sounds perplexed. "I... I need to know one thing. You promised to tell me, no secrets between us, remember?". He sighs "Cara, do you know what time it is? I was sleeping, I have early morning tomorr... today."

"Matthew, I need to know Beata's biological parents." Cara manages to say. Matthew hesitates "I... I cannot say them... I don't remember, I don't have that data here at home, the data is stored in laboratory's well protected computer.". I'm not sure but it sounds like he is lying and I see from Cara's face that she is not buying this explanation. "Matty, you promised, that was one condition why I volunteered to be a guinea pig for you, to hatch one embryo. Now something has come up and I need to know.". Again there is a silence from his end, a long silence before he says. "Why it's so important? You wanted another child but your stiffy husband didn't. I gave to you what you wanted, what you needed.". I can see that Cara is getting angry. "I'm coming to meet you on Monday, make sure you have all information that I asked for me ready and you will show then hole data about Beata's origins that you have, no less or else I will sue your hairy ass." She hangs up before Matthew gets to say anything else and switches off the phone. She starts pacing around, then throws phone to sofa.

"I'm not sure but if I remember correctly then Matthew was doing with his research team some studies how to help people with infertility issues, mostly with female infertility issues. They studied eggs cell system and fertilization mechanism and then they tried to alter some genetic material in egg or in fertilized egg. They wanted to create an embryo with parents DNA even when egg was donated by somebody else, they wanted to wipe the donor's DNA away so that created embryo and child born from it would be... more or how to put it... well, from that infertile couples child, not some nameless donors and man's child. If you get the point.". She looks to me and I just nod, too dumbfounded to say anything. "That was years ago, when I was engaged to him and he wanted me to join his research team, just before you told how you felt for me. I fear that...". She turns away, unable to meet my eyes. "I fear that Beata is a creation from those studies, some frozen embryo, some leftover or something like that."

I slowly breath in, then out. "And who do you think are her biological parents?" I ask and she turns back to me. "If Beata is not yours then there must be your sister in her DNA." she says and I nod, I have come to same conclusion, Beata looks so much alike with Beatrice. "She surely does, some of her features and gestures are just like the ones that Beatrice had. I cannot be sure, she has been dead so long that I have forgotten most but if I remember correctly I have few photos at home...in a box in attic. Our parents didn't take many photos of us when we were young. But if Beata is a result from some sort of genetic or infertility testing then what about Four's daughter? What do you think?" Cara shakes her head. "That is kind of mystery for me, I didn't know that he had a child, he have never told that before. First time that I heard of that child was today. But... if she looks just like Beata or Beatrice then she might have been made in the Bureaus laboratory and who knows how many there is kids like they are.."

I shake my head and tell to her "I have heard rumors that Bureau uses surrogates, some are under aged. It's possible that they had used some young girl who needed money for some reason as a surrogate and then given that child for adoption or to foster child." She bites her lip. "And they might have, or at least some of them have your sisters DNA, but where they have got it...oh... they had her body there, maybe from her blood or then they had her ovaries taken and had her eggs..." scientist in her is taking control, wondering how it had been done and I follow her way of thinking like back in old days, when we were working together and solving problems by speaking aloud so long that we figured it out. "And if they had solved the fertilization process then they could have used any suitable DNA like some isolated from Four's blood sample. But why? And how? That brakes at least ten laws in all cities and all those terms they agreed after Purity War." I say and she nods "I think it's unethical and unmoral to do something like that and surely they don't have your sister permission and I doubt that they have Fours permission... speaking about him, what do you think?" I look to Cara wondering what she means and she continues "What you think, should we speak on this matter with him? If they were using his DNA, his genetic material then he is the one that can sue them and get some answers." I nod but there is still something that doesn't add up. Then I yawn. "I'm sorry Cara, it's getting late and you must be at hospital for blood samples early in morning so I think that we should get some sleep. Does it bother you if we sleep in same bed? That sofa is way too short to sleep comfortable...". She looks little perplexed for subject change, then smiles. "I can sleep with you any time."

When we get to bed there is a little awkward silence. I placed one pillow in middle of bed and settle myself on other end. I switch of light from my side table, she switches of from her side. We are in total darkness. "Good night Cara and thank you for this evening, for this night.". I say. She yawns and says with sleepy voice "good night Caleb.". Just when I'm falling to sleep I remember James Matthews words "I know some really dirty secrets from both of you". What are the secrets he was referring to?


	29. Four pov 14

AN: I have a tenosynovitis in my right hand so it takes ages to write and update, sorry! It's way too slow to write using only left hand :-( But doctors orders, I have to give rest to my hand to make it better.

oOoOoOoOo

\- Four's pov -

I walk with Zeke back to my apartment, it's quite a long way but I think that we need it. "So you are saying that you are interested in a girl that is not only Matthews, but she is Jeanine's niece and Eric's sister?" It's like Zeke is not getting over it. I sigh and then nod "Well, you can say that once again, just try to believe in it.". Zeke shakes his head. "No, I cannot get over it, I never thought that Eric was Matthews, I knew him as Coulter so he will be Coulter for me always. But somehow it makes sense, him being a Matthews also and then hiding it. I just never knew that Jeanine had a brother or that her brother had two kids, but then, what did we knew about Erudite? Who told you about this?" I look to him "Who do you think that told to me, there isn't many options left and surely it wasn't Eric, nor mr Loony, as you called him."

"And you trust in her? Everything she told to you?" He asks and I nod "Why wouldn't I trust, I have no reason for not to." I reply. "I still don't get it nor that why her father acted like he did. It was like I was your partner in crime and we were doing something truly horrible for his beloved daughter." I just can imagine what James told to Zeke when he was scolding my friend. "Yeah, you know... I think it's something that fathers do, they are overprotective when it comes to their daughters. And he has every right to hate me, at least in his mind he thinks that he has.". Zeke smirks "And now you really have to tell everything you did to his daughter!". I blush a bit, at least I feel like I do. "I didn't do anything. She... oh... it's complicated. Just to cut it short, she is a mother for my daughter. And we have some sort of connection between us, straight from beginning. As you knew we have shared one night and...we kissed. She is the first one that I'm interested after Tris' death but I don't know if it's going to lead in anything more, it's too early to say. She is just a...well, I don't know! I can't believe that I'm telling this to you.".

Zeke smiles a bit "Just remembered what you told to me when Tris was the one for you, when you had fallen for her." There it comes, bang of guilt. Thanks Zeke! He must have seen my face when he rushes to say "I didn't mean it like that, you're just acting in same way now. Saying almost same words, like trying to reason yourself out of it but knowing at same time that you are so gone, so deeply in her, she's gotten under your skin and you cannot resist it, you don't want to resist it." Before I get to say anything he continues "And it's just good for you.". There it comes again. "Why everyone keeps saying that?" I have to ask and Zeke looks to me questioning."That it's good for you?" he asks and I nod. "Well, I think that it comes just for that you have been so alone for so long time and you deserve some happiness for your life, we all want the best for you and obviously she is that. You know that we all...wait!" Then Zeke stops in mid sentence and stands still with puzzled look on his face.

"She is WHAT?" he asks and I stop too, cross my hands in front of my chest and tilt my head. So now he realized what I said. "You... you have a child?" Zeke asks. I nod and wait for him to continue. "And you never told to me, to your best friend? How old?" I can see that he's hurt a bit for me not sharing this part of my life before. "I haven't known about her before, just few weeks. She is over five years old, they made her in Bureau, wanting to create a "pure human". She was made by using my chromosomes and Tris'". Zeke whistles. "It's just... it's just a mind blowing thing. You had a child with Tris and she was born... what... a five years after her death?". I nod "Something like that." Zeke just shakes his head "So you are a father and Tris is a mother and so is Alexa too. What a threesome!" I roll my eyes, it's not like that. And then I remember Caleb's words, those that he whispered and made Cara run away in panic. If Kiara looked just like his daughter that Cara had told wasn't his then... then I just wonder how many kids there where, how many children Bureau had made with my and Tris' chromosomes? And was there other combinations?

"But what ever is going between you and Alexa I hope that it lasts and I'm supporting you two fully, I have always hoped all best for you, Four." Zeke says and I smile "And I'm so happy that you are back together with Shauna and I wish all the best for you two.". Zeke starts to walk again, so do I. "I'm just wondering how I will tell to my mother that I'm back with her. Don't get me wrong, my mother is truly supporting me and wants all best for me, I'm the only one that she has left but... she has been suggesting that it would be a suitable time for me to settle down and get some children and as far as we know, what doctors said, it will be highly unlikely that Shauna will ever be able to have children on her own. But of course now when you had a child with Tris even after her death then I think everything is possible." I realize that I had never thought it from that point of view. "But still, what the Bureau has done is against many laws and regulations, it's genetic alteration and really unethical. I mean, the basic technique behind it all, it's something complex that I don't even try to understand but having genes stolen from your blood sample and producing children in secret to achieve a pure human is... just disgusting. But the basic technique I think could be used to help you and Shauna as well as other couples with infertility issues. And I know that they don't have to steal your chromosomes, that is a great difference. I'm not against using surrogates, if there isn't some sort of slavery deal and surrogates are not under aged. So it could work out with you two, it has worked out wit Amar and George you know." Zeke nods "But they had a surrogate that donated the egg also, so their children are not genetically fully theirs or so Amar explained once. It just messes your brain thinking something like that, you should be Erudite to figure it out I think."

We are finally at my place, there is a car in front of the building, a car that I know far too well. I slow my steps and just wait what is following. The doors open from both sides in front of car and two men step out. They look exactly the same, dressed in dark blue suits. I recognize that the other one was Alexa's bodyguard at daytime, I just don't know which one. Zeke stands at my side and I know that I can count on him, if needed. "Mr Eaton?". Man in right asks and I nod. "Mr Matthews send you this and asked to remind you what will happen if you disobey him." He hands me a picture of my daughter. "He thinks that you should have this and every time you want to contact or make a move on miss Erica Matthews you should look this photo and remember what he said to you." I nod, I don't want to argue with those two. "And we are following Erica everywhere, all the time and with all means needed, so don't even think to fool us, you only make fool on yourself."

I tilt my head a bit, raise my eyebrows. "It's impossible for me to avoid seeing her, I work to Government, we have all these events and I'm going to attend on those. If she is in the same place, in same time then I will meet her, wanted or not. What are you going to do then?". Man on left answers "It depends on your actions. If you pass each other it's okay, but if you keep on talking and flirting and dancing then we will take actions like mr Matthews ordered to us." I look from man to another "you wouldn't hurt a child or are you out of your minds!". They laugh, not a happy or nice laugh, it has a evil twist. "No, of course we wouldn't hurt a innocent child but we have our ways to make her life miserable. She is having a nice, loving family, best education a money can buy, full health care insurance, she has expensive hobbies. She can loose all those and more if you don't leave miss Erica alone."

"Okay, lets say that I leave your miss Erica alone, but what if she doesn't leave me alone?" I have to ask, I don't want any harm to Kiara or to Alexa. Twins look to each other and have an evil smirk. "Oh, mr Matthews takes care on that. Erica is leaving you alone, that's sure." I must say that I'm feeling more and more worried. Twins turn to leave and at when they are getting back to their car the one in drivers side turns to say "And we know where your mother lives..." They leave before I get to say anything and I must admit that I'm really angry and worried. I know it's too late to call to mother and make sure that everything is fine so I send a message to her. It won't wake her up if she's sleeping. "Just wanted to make sure you are fine.". She doesn't answer but I try to assure myself for not to get worried.

I look to Zeke and he seems worried, shaking his head same time. "You are in deep trouble, you know." He says and all I can do is nod. That's true for sure but I don't think that leaving Alexa alone would be the option, besides, I feel a strangely strong urge to protect her. She's not safe when she is with her father and I can just imagine what her father does to her. And Alexa is my only lead to Kiara, or has been. I remember what Caleb told, that he had met Kiara's foster parents and they are here in Providence as well as Kiara. Caleb will recognize them and I'm sure that I will recognize Kiara, I just need to be in the right place at right time. I need to save them both, Alexa and Kiara, take them to somewhere, far away from James. But where? And doing so will only bring harm for me, for them. I can imagine the tabloid headlines after doing so, remembering the storm that Johanna raised by saving those three girls from Bureau's Welfare Center. I know that my hands are tied, I just wish there would be some way to save them without being accused on kidnapping.

When we get inside I pour a glass of whiskey for me and look to Zeke. He nods and I pour one for him. "What could I do?" I ask, not waiting for his answer. Zeke swirls his drink in his glass, looks to it and then looks to me. "You do the only thing you need to do." He replies and when I'm just about to protest, I'm not going to leave Alexa alone, that is not the option, he adds "You safe them both. You can bring them to my place in Chicago, they will be safe in there. I can give my word of honor.". I shake my head, I will not involve him in this mess, it would risk his career as well as mine. "Too risky, James will know where they are. I need to destroy him first, as well as the Bureau." He thinks and then nods "and you have to raise charges against them all. But that can lead James revenge and he can harm Alexa or Kiara... or you.".

"Well, I'm not afraid of him, remember, I'm Four, or at least used to be." Zeke laughs to my answer and nods "Yeah, you don't fear anything. And what would be your fears now?". I shrug, I haven't thought them years. I'm afraid of highs, that's true and claustrophobic but I'm not afraid of my father anymore, haven't been in years. Killing innocent? I have given up the guns, I'm using politics as my weapon. I was afraid that I would be alone for rest of my life but after meeting Alexa I have started to hope that it wouldn't be so. I have been afraid that I wouldn't ever meet Kiara, now I'm hopeful that I will. I'm afraid of loosing her, loosing them but not that kind of afraid. It was true what Christina once said, that Tris had changed me, she had made me the one that I'm now. She had changed me permanently for a better man.

"I just need to think, figure out some way to make sure that they are safe and same time to get some justice, payback to Bureau and James." I finish my drink and get up. "I think that I'm going to sleep now, maybe I will know what to do when I wake up." I check my phone, there is no messages from my mother. She is sleeping, as I should be, I assure to myself. "Good night, Zeke." I say, he gulps his whiskey and smiles "Good night, Four, or Two or Three or what ever you are now.". I smirk "I'm Four, not going to change that."

 _I'm standing in front of Tris, she looks straight to my eyes, her eyes tearing. I'm pointing a gun at her forehead, disarming it. I have to look away to be able to shoot her but she turns my head back, forces me to look her. "Tobias, please. Please see me" she says. I move my finger on trigger, squeeze it. "Tobias, it's me.." She says, tears rolling down on her eyes and I cannot pull the trigger. "I love you" I whisper and she laughs, it's evil laugh. I'm staring at her, she shakes her head disapprovingly and suddenly Tris has disappeared and it's Eric, kneeling in front of me,_ _scorning to me_ _. "Be brave, Eric." I say and shoot him. He collapses to floor and when I turn him around he has changed back to Tris, her dead eyes blaming me. I feel like I'm gonna throw up._

I wake up feeling guilt, horrified, sad, alone. I have tears in my eyes, a lump in my throat. I hate myself and wonder why doesn't Alexa hate me, her father does and have every reason for doing so, as would she have. I get up, go to toilet, drink some water. It's 4:20 am and I check my phone. There is a message from mother, saying just "everything is fine, just try to sleep and don't worry.". I smile a bit, promise to myself that I will call to her at morning.

I manage to get some more sleep, dreamless and when I wake up I'm quite fine actually. Zeke has woken up too and we eat some breakfast together. This has been quite fun actually, him being here. "What are we going to do today?" He asks and I shrug. "What ever you want, there is no reason for me to go to anywhere, until the dinnertime, it's for the homeless people, I would say to factionless." Zeke smirks "And again there will be some good food, some dancing and kissing and..." he suggest but I shake my head "Well, maybe the first one will happen, but those two later... no. I don't love you that much.". Zeke slaps me "Oh, you brake my heart!". He teases me. I chuckle and truly this is fun, having him here. "I just change my clothes and let's go and have a walk." I suggest and he nods. "And I do dishes, like a good wife..." He mutters and I laugh.

I make two calls, first to my mother. She is wondering why I now worry over her and I get little annoyed. "Shouldn't I worry, I've been thinking what you said last time when we saw.". She sighs "Forget it, I was wrong, I blamed wrong man, I was just... I don't know. Too many painkillers perhaps?". I'm not fully buying her explanation but then just ask her to make sure that alarm system is working and remind her to use it. I don't say why but I don't want any harm for her, after all she is my mother. Then I call to Johanna, she sounds happy and more about herself. She has still problems with her memory and she asks same questions over and over again, like do I know why she is in hospital and why I'm not there. Then she gets tired and hand the phone to Laura, her nurse. She tells that police has asked a permission to interrogate her but her doctor has declined it, due her short-term memory loss. She tells that there is some time limit for raising charges and before it they must interrogate Johanna and there is little hope in her voice, same hope than I feel. If she cannot be interrogated in time then perhaps they cannot raise charges?

Zeke wants to buy a train ticket to get back home so we head to station. Today is Wednesday and Thursday's trains are full as well as Fridays. There is some seats left for Saturday and Sunday, Zeke hesitates a while and then chooses Saturday, I have tickets for Monday already. "I need to call to Shauna" he says and walks little further, I guess he has something to say for her that he doesn't want to share with me. That's fine, there is no need to share everything and I just stand there, looking around. They are building that Big Fair on Market Place, it will open up on Friday. There will be a funfair and then lots of different marketeers attending; food, drinks, sweets, crafts. Some big trucks drive to area, bringing those funfair rides. They look fun and scary at same time and I bet that Kiara will be there on Friday.

When Zeke finishes his call we take a short walk back to my apartment and make ourselves ready for dinner event. This time it's at City centers High School, not so exclusive place than yesterday. When I put my suit on I remember that note that Alexa gave me yesterday. I smile a bit when I read her neat handwriting. At midnight, in Central Park. I just hope that she can come to that meeting, I'm sure that I will be there!


	30. Caleb pov 14

Thanks for comments! My hand is getting better and I have so much to write... now I just need time ;-)

oOoOoOo

\- Caleb's pov -

I wake up early in the morning, Cara is still sound asleep. I hear some weird buzzing and it takes a while to understand that its my phone that is ringing. I pick it up and look, it's Dara calling. I hesitate before answering, this cannot be good news. "Good morning Caleb, sorry to wake you up." She replies to my sleepy hello. "No problem, is there something wrong?". I can hear Allen's voice from background, he's trying really hard to tell something to someone. "Well, just... did Beata have some doctors appointment or something? Matthew came to pick her up, she had an allergic reaction few weeks ago when she was vaccinated and they need to check her out. And I couldn't get Cara on phone so I had to call to you.". I shake a little to Cara's shoulder, then little more to wake her up. She didn't tell anything about some doctors appointment and I thought that allergic reaction had been just some cover up for spending a day with Matthew. "Just wait a moment, I wake Cara up." I reply and finally Cara opens her eyes. "It's your mother calling, about the doctors appointment for Beata." She takes the phone. "What?... NO, it's not today... He's there? Well say to him that we are coming on Monday as we agreed. WHAT? Give phone to him, NOW."

She jumps from the bed, starts pacing back and forth. "Matty? Listen up... No, you cannot take her!... What? WHAT?... NO, of course NO!... Because I say so... You don't have any rights... WHAT? You must be kidding! You cannot prove it!...MATTHEW, for the last time, NO!". She covers the phone and look to me panicked. "He's taking Beata with him, blaming that she is his. Say something to him!". She gives my phone to me and I take it, just wondering what to say. "Hello Matthew, what is going on there?" I can hear Dara talking to Matthew at same time, Allen insisting that Matthew must come to see his new toys and Beata is just crying. It takes some time for Matthew to answer. "Oh, hi Caleb, didn't hear that you were there. I just came to take Beata for some routine check ups, she had that allergic reaction from vaccination and...". I don't normally get upset easily but this time I cut him short. "Don't give me that bullshit, you know as well as I do that it's a lie. She is perfectly fine and there were no reactions, allergic or other after vaccination. You are just trying to kidnap her and if you don't leave immediately, ALONE, without my daughter, my wife will be calling to police." I look to Cara with meaningful glare and she takes her phone. Matthew laughs "But she isn't yours, she never were. She is not yours!". He speaks those last four words slowly, clearly and I can see that he is trying to get under my skin and succeeding in it.

"I know that Beata isn't mine, Cara told it ages ago and I know that you had made her in laboratory, using my sisters DNA, so in that way she is my relative and my sons cousin. You don't have any rights to take her away from her family.". I can hear Matthew snort. "No, I meant your wife or should I say, your soon to be ex-wife. You are getting a divorce, remember? Cara was never yours, she has been mine all the time, coming after me, wanting me, sharing her life and her thoughts with me. And Beata... well, she is indeed your sisters daughter but do you know who her father is? I bet that is something that Cara haven't told to you, because she doesn't know. Do you have any suggestions? Who it might be?". He's teasing me, getting me angry, playing some stupid game. I hold the phone so hard that my knuckles turn white, slowly breathing in and out, calming myself. I nod to Cara and she goes further from me, calling for emergency number, asking them to send a police patrol as soon as possible to take control on things at home. This is not time for emotions, it's time for actions. "It doesn't matter to me who her father is, she was an donated embryo that my wife carried to full term, went through a painful labor and gave birth to. Beata belongs to her, even she isn't genetically hers, she belongs to our family.". Matthew laughs again. "Oh, you can think so, but do you know what. You are wrong. Giving birth to someone doesn't give you any rights to that child if her biological parent wants her, Cara has been just a surrogate and she knows it, it was written down on agreement she signed before getting through the process. Biological parents rights are stronger than surrogates. And now I'm claiming that she is mine and I take her. It would be so much easier if you don't argue on everything, just try to accept it. End of discussion." He hangs up and I just stare to phone, then to Cara. She looks as stunned than I feel myself.

"He is taking Beata away" I say and she just nods and I continue. "He's saying that Beata is his but you said that he's sterile, so it's not possible or is it?". She nods again and then looks me like I'm not getting something. "Oh, he could have used DNA from blood sample or something like that. But I don't see any Matthew in Beata, only Beatrice and... if I have to pick some man then it would be Will or... Four. But it's just a guess, I don't know and that is why I asked it from Matthew yesterday, the documents of Beata's biological parents, I wouldn't have asked those if I knew, or would I?". She is thinking something, I can see it. "I don't see Matthew in Beata either and he said less than 12 hours ago that he didn't know who her biological parents were. It's like he's trying to cover up his actions, knowing that they have done something horrible in Bureau. And that's not good news." I nod and then suddenly remember "Isn't there a birth certificate, like we had when Allen was born, for Beata too?". She nods and takes her phone, calling to her mother. "Yes, yes mom. Calm down... Yes I know. Just play some time... say that you are going to pack something for Beata, she need extra diapers and some formula and spare clothing and don't rush... Yes, I know, don't panic... Good!... Now mom, listen up really carefully. Police is on the way. Just go to Caleb's home office, in the cabinet on right side from entrance, open the left side door and there is a pink box on top shelf. Take it, there is Beata's birth certificate. Take it, it's important, it's the only way you can prove that Matthew is lying... Oh good, they were quick. Just call me after..." She looks to me. "Police was quick, they will solve this." Now all we can do is just to wait.

It takes over 20 minutes before Dara calls to Cara. "How it went?... aha... hmmm... That was expected... They did? REALLY?... oh...ok. Thanks mom, no, don't tell to me, it's better that way, just do what needed, I trust in you... Yes, he does too... Thanks mom, you are the best!". She looks me triumphant. "Success! Beata is with Allen and my mother and police arrested Matthew. He didn't take it well when his plan didn't work like he had hoped." I smile a bit, still worried. "They cannot keep Matthew arrested for long, even if they have anything against him and if there is some ticket or bail, he will pay it instantly and walk free." She nods "That's why my mother is taking Allen and Beata for a short trip, somewhere where Matthew cannot find them." I smile a bit and then look what time it is. We are going to be late from hospital if we don't hurry up!

We get to hospitals laboratory just in time, but then we have to wait and wait and wait little more. There is far too many patients here and not enough workers, common problem in hospitals. Finally it comes Cara's turn and she leaves me there, waiting in lobby. I try to call to Four but he's speaking another call. I decide that I call later to him, I think that he needs to know about Matthews actions, just in case. I remember how much the older girl in picture had looked alike with Beata so my guess is that if she is Fours biological daughter then Beata is too. It takes only about five minutes until she comes back, holding her left hand and just mouthes "Ouch" for me. I smile to her, remembering how much she hates needles "Come on, I take you to breakfast, what ever you would like to have." She thinks a while and then smiles "I want a latte and then few pretzels, apple juice, pizza, cereals, cheese, hamburger... anything goes. This medication that they gave to me yesterday surely works fine taking nausea away and I will look like an elephant in few months.". I look to her "No, I don't believe in that, I believe that you will look beautiful, like always."

She stops, looks to me "What, are you flirting with me Caleb?". There is hope in her voice, a kind of smile on her lips like I haven't seen in weeks, months. She's wanting more, begging me to flirt with her, making her to feel special. I shrug and continue walking, she follows. I don't want to give any false hope to her but somehow I cannot be angry for her. Just... I don't know. Disappointed? I felt hurt inside, shame, hate but still, there were something in Cara that reminded me about the old days, the days when we were a team. I sigh, there is no easy way out from this. I could have forgiven if it would have been just kissing and holding hands that she did with Matthew but sleeping with him broke rules, broke the trust between us. But still, there where those good old days and, I have to be honest, I would look bad if I leave her now, when she is pregnant. If she weren't then it would be easier to decide, easier to leave her, even thinking about it hurt already, but so had she hurt me.

"Have you thought what you will do with... twins?" I ask and she shakes her head, looking little hurt, like she was hoping me to say something else. "There is nothing else to do than carry them, give birth to them, nurse them, take care until they are toddlers at least and postpone that returning to work – plan I made earlier. And I don't know if I want to work with Matthew anymore, not after what he tried today.". I look to her, she's biting her lip and I have to say. "To be honest I think that there will not be Bureau to work for if it were up to me. After what he did, tried to steal our daughter and hide the evidence about their DNA-program, the Pure Human project or what ever they call it, I'm sure I will do all I can to end their work permanently. And I think that I need all the help I can get for doing it. Yours, Fours." She nods. "I just hope that it isn't some sort of personal vendetta against Matthew." She says and I almost laugh. "No, it's not personal. It doesn't matter who is Bureaus CEO or MD or what ever title he is having. It's not personal, it's just that what the Bureau has done it's so... wrong, against all laws. I just want to make sure that they have to finish their programs involving surrogates and playing with human DNA. And Four will say the same. And I hope that you agree and help us." She nods and I know that it's the only way how we can beat Matthew, how we can beat the Bureau. we need to unite, work on this together, three of us.

We head to a cafeteria for breakfast and Cara orders a lot to eat; pancakes, toast, cereal, fruits. She doesn't get coffee and when I ask her from that she just shrugs. "I don't want it and besides it increases the risk for miscarriage."Silence falls between us, I just stir my coffee and look how she is eating. I got some pancakes for myself, they are good but somehow I don't have an appetite. "What will you do on Monday, when you are going to meet Matthew? Do you think that he will meet you?" She shrugs. "It might be that he doesn't want to see me or us, but we will not give him any other changes than to see us. At office or at home. We need the truth." I nod, she sure is right in that, we need the truth but it's likely that Matthew isn't willing to see us.

After the late breakfast we walk slowly around, just looking places. Nothing specific, just getting to know this city better. It surprises me how small this city actually is, how together everything is, hospital had been at furthest corner from hotel and everything else is on our way back to it. Cara has a map in her purse, it comes handy when we navigate in city streets. We spot a library, museum, schools, daycares, some playing grounds that I'm sure that Allen would love and then there is lots of small boutiques and shops that look truly inviting; florist, bakery, barber, tailor... everything you could imagine. There is small parks here and there, offering places for relaxation.

Somehow we end up to Government building, there is some teachers and principals from different schools presenting what kind of education they are giving and Cara seems to be interested. I look her questioning and she just shrugs. "If we move to here then it will come sooner than you think, Allen needs a good school." I smile to her. "I'm not going to deny that, of course he needs a good school. Are you thinking that you are going to move here too, if I get elected?". She looks bit surprised. "Haven't it been a plan all the time?" She asks and continues. "It doesn't work if we live in Chicago and you live in here, kids will never see you, most of your time will be spend in here and there will be only some really short weekends that only leave kids sad and upset.". I look deep in her eyes and she smiles little shyly, lowers her voice. "I would be sad and upset, missing you weeks.". I shake my head, I'm not ready for this conversation, not now, not here. She blushes a bit, then looks away, walks to nearest stand, greeds the principal with a big smile and starts a conversation.

She truly has a point in this, if I would live here and she and kids in Chicago there would be long times for me to be alone, missing Allen and... I must admit that I would miss Cara too. I walk next to Cara, shake hands with the principal and join in conversation. After few hours I'm dazzled, here in Providence would be so much more options to choose, better schools. I'm impressed and so seems Cara to be. We really have to think about this, if I get elected. We head to lunch, having just some small talk about schools and Allen. After lunch and dessert we finally walk back to hotel. At our room Cara seems little shy when we are together, just two of us. She walks to windows, looks out.

"Cara, please, what is in your mind.". She sighs and turns to see me. "I just... Caleb, I don't want to loose you, I don't want a divorce. I know I have done horrible things, I have done wrong and I don't know what to do to make you believe that I won't do those things ever again. These last weeks... these have been so terrible. I have learned the lesson. I want you, I need you to be part of my life in future too. Part of Allen's life, Beata's life and these two that I'm carrying. If you leave me I don't know what I will do.". I walk to there, by the windows and look out, I cannot look to her. "Cara, let's not... let's not talk about this now. You are here now, with me and I'm not leaving you right now. But I'm not ready... I don't want to talk about our future, together or alone, not now. I think that the best we can do is to get some counseling when we get back to Chicago. It can save our marriage or then nothing can, I don't know and I'm not ready to make these decisions right now, not when you are pregnant and just before the election day and all." I look to her and see tears in her eyes. One tear falls and I take those few steps separating us and wipe that away from her cheek. She shudders, trying to hold back tears and sobs but then collapses, pressing her head to my shoulder. I pat her back, just let her cry there.

She feels so nice, warm, she fits so perfectly in there, like she always have, like she had been made to be in there. I can smell the shampoo that she uses, the soap, the deodorant... I can smell her, feel her heartbeats. I bite my lip, trying to stay calm and slowly her tears dry down. I hand a handkerchief for her, she blows her nose, wipes her cheeks and then just looks to my eyes. So close, so beautiful, so fragile and strong at same time, so... her. "Cara..." I start a whisper and she presses her lips against to mine before I can continue. I totally forget what I was about to say.


	31. Four pov 15

-Four's pov-

I head to City Centers High School with Zeke just in time, the dinner is held at cafeteria and there is an art exhibition, made by homeless people, on main hallway. At later on evening there is a band playing in sports hall, all players in it are former homeless, so I guess there is some dancing too. I look around, see some people that I recognize from yesterdays dinner party. I find our table, they are smaller than yesterday and rectangle, not circular, seats for six. Today we are seated with other people than yesterday and I look around, trying to find Alexa. Finally I spot her father, speaking to some older man but I cannot see Alexa anywhere. And I cannot see Cara or Caleb either, that's a surprise. Caleb had called me when I was talking with my mother and when I tried to call to him he didn't answer. I thought that he would call again, after seeing that I had called, but maybe he was waiting to see me on dinner. But he wasn't here, that was odd and now it started to bother a little what he had in his mind when he tried to call to me.

Dinner is modest but good food, nothing fancy, suitable for environment and cause. After the dinner I look to my watch, it's 9:15 pm so I have plenty of time. I walk around, just looking those paintings and then I end up standing right next to James Matthews back. He is talking to some man he addresses Jim and I don't pay any attention to their conversation until I overhear Jim asking "but where is your daughter tonight?". James replies smoothly. "She said that she has a terrible migraine so she didn't want to come here, too much hustle and noises and lights, you know how her migraines are. Besides, she will be attending to that marathon on Saturday so she needs to prepare herself for that, so she told to me, everything she eats are well planned and so on, these dinners are not suitable for that." Jim seems little worried but accepted the reason for Alexa's absence. "Kiara was asking for her godmother." I have to fight against the urge to look to them when I hear my girls name. James replies "Alexa was planning to take her to funfair on Friday, I was planning to call to you tomorrow and make some arrangements for that. You can tell to Kiara that her godmother has a splendid surprise for her and we can go at same time to finish that golf tournament we started today. Alexa can handle Kiara alone, I think.". I smile to that and move on before James finds out that I have been eavesdropping. I cannot believe in my luck, I will see both Alexa and Kiara at funfair on Friday!

I spot Zeke talking to some woman that I recognize to be Ohio's sitting member in Government and I look what time it is, 10:20 pm. I should soon be going to home so I won't be late on date. I smirk, I have a date! I just hope that Alexa comes, that her having a migraine was just an excuse for not attending to this dinner. The band starts playing and they play really loud. Before I do anything Zeke walks to me, shaking his head and laughing. "Un-be-lievable! That women... no wonder you like to be in here and you don't spend time in Chicago!" I raise my eyebrows, there's no point to ask, he will tell it sooner or later and besides the music is way too loud for any subtle conversation. "Let's go, I have to be somewhere else soon..." I just say and he nods, he knows very well where I'm going.

This time we take taxi to my apartment, it's quicker that way. Zeke tells on our way to my place what that woman had said and we laugh bit at same time I must shake my head. Well, Zeke is kind of good looking and so on but... oh well. Maybe she was trying to shock him and didn't know that it isn't likely to happen, Zeke isn't easily shocked. But points for effort! "Say again, what was that she did say about ice cubes and ginger?" I ask and Zeke tells, making us burst in laughter again and making the cab driver look us with disgust. As I said before it's good to have Zeke in here even when I'm not sure that he is telling the truth or just trying to pull my leg.

At home I walk around, it's been a long time since I had a date and I don't quite know what to do, what to wear and so on. I get a quick shower, check that my hair is ok as well as I don't have to shave. Nothing like that. Then it comes to pick some clothing and that is hard. Well, suit is not an option, but should I wear something casual or something sporty? She has seen me wearing almost every kind of clothing, including plain hotel towel, if that is counted as a clothing. I pick a pair of black jeans and t-shirt, black underwear and black sneakers and a hoodie, again, black. I look to my clothes, all black like always. Zeke comes to my bedroom door, looks to me from head to toe. "You know, a little bit of color wouldn't hurt you.". I look myself from mirror and nod, he has a point in there. "I'm not used in going out on a date you know.". Zeke smirks "Well, it's better now than never and remember, if you need any privacy then please, call to me or send a message. I will go and have a long walk, I don't want to be any third wheel and I'm not a fan of awkward moments.". I roll my eyes, I'm not ready to take her here.

There is not much traffic, not much people out at this time in middle of week. Some bars are open and from time to time I can hear music, people talking, laughing. This city looks and feels totally different at night time than on bright day light. I come to that old oak tree about 15 minutes too early even it took some time to find a shop where I could get one red rose on my way here. The park is silent, there is no one except for me. I'm getting bit nervous, all I can do is hope that she will come and wait and I have never been good in either of those. I look around, then when a sudden impulse comes climb up to the tree, the branches come low and they are wide, a good place to look out. Tree hides my presence almost completely but I can see most of surroundings.

It takes over 20 minutes for Alexa to come, she is little late but when I finally see her she is instantly forgiven. She's wearing running gear, tight t-shirt that hugs her curves and cropped running tights that show of her muscular legs. Her hair is in two braids, twisted together on her back. She carries small towel and a water bottle. She stops to the oak tree, looking around, leaves the bottle and towel there and stretches, looking around. Is it just my imagination or does she look little disappointed? I smile and when she isn't looking to my direction I silently lower myself from the tree, just behind of her. She jumps a bit, then spins around, smile tingling in her eyes. "I knew it was you." she whispers softly and I hand out the rose, making her burst in laughter. "oh, you shouldn't have! Thank you!" She says before leans over and kisses me. I feel her lips move against mine and I step that one step separating us, embrace her wanting to pull her closer to me. When my hand touches her back, between her shoulder blades she almost jumps and shrieks in low voice, trying to free herself from embrace. Not the reaction that I was waiting for.

I pull back, look to her astonished, seeing her little blushed. "Are you hurt?" I ask and she looks away, then nods to running tracks. "Lets run few rounds, you know, my father keeps on tracking me up so if he thinks I'm just having a midnight run as usual, he probably leaves us alone, at least for a while. But his bulldogs might as well come and get me." She sees what I'm going to ask. "You have met them, Anton and Benjamin, those twins that my father uses for his dirty work as well as for bodyguards. They are good in hurting people, killing if needed, breaking in, stealing, tracking. You name it, they have done it, multiple times. And when they do it my fathers hands stay clean, he gives orders in the way that he cannot be blamed, they cannot ever rise charges against him, no one can do anything. There is never enough if any evidence.". She sounds bitter. I nod, surely I have met those two and not in the mood to meet them again.

We start a slow jogging. "I heard from your father that you were having a migraine today, that was why you didn't attend to dinner party." I say after a while and she looks me, smiles wearily. "Is that so? Well, he was wrong in that." She stops under the streetlight, looks around before she raises her t-shirt. She is wearing a sport top under, I see her muscular stomach, her tattoos. I'm about to take those few steps separating us when I see the look on her face, rejecting me. She is biting her lower lip and then she turns around, slowly. I feel a punch in my stomach when I see markings on her all across her back, too familiar markings, made by belt. "This was how he thanked me from talking to you, the dancing and then running away with you even for that short time. Luckily for me he didn't see us two kissing, imagine what he had done then.". I feel nausea and at same time anger rising inside. "I'm going to make him pay for this.". I promise, I swear. She pulls her t-shirt back down and looks to me, sadness in her eyes, shaking her head. "No one can do anything. He is... He owns too much, he is too powerful, he is too... Look Four, if you do anything to him you will pay for it double, I will pay for it. If you hurt him, he will make sure that he hurts you more."

My hands are in fists, knuckles white, I grit my teeth so my jaws hurt. "But he don't have any right to do something that... horrible to you! You are his daughter, he should protect you, not hurt you!". I manage to say and she looks me knowingly. I must look away from her, remembering my own father and his actions. "Look Four, I know. Eric guessed it and then, after seeing that your fear landscape, seeing your fathers role in it. It was clear to everyone that rumors about Marcus Eaton were true, it wasn't just some Erudite hoax. It was just due the respect to you no one talked about it, ever. And my father wasn't any better than yours, he demanded a lot and after Eric's transfer to Dauntless he become overposessive and overprotective in everything that involves me. I always end up disappointing him." I grit my teeth, I'm way too angry to talk, I need to calm myself down before I say anything. Silence falls between us, we start again jogging at slow pace.

After two laps in silence I slow down to walking speed and then look to her. "He has no reason to get physical over you, no matter what you have done or he thinks that you might have done. It's not your fault, never and don't you ever believe in what he tells to you, that it was because on what you did or it will make you a better woman or some other sick excuse like that.". She smiles with sad look in her face and nods. "No it's not my fault, even he makes me feel so." She sighs. "I didn't want to meet you for this, I had bigger news in my mind.". I smile a bit. "I just thought that you wanted to spend time with me, to have a date or so.". She giggles a bit and blushes sweetly. "Yes, I wanted to see you, spend time with you before I have to disappear, again.". I grab her hand, turn her towards me and with other hand raise her head so she must look to my eyes. "No, you cannot disappear!" I almost yell, I want her to understand it. She cannot disappear! She looks me calmly, waiting me to cool down.

"Matthew called to my father this morning, he was panicking, he was arrested and my father bailed him out. The Bureau is shutting down and wiping away all evidence about their surrogate program and I fear that they are erasing all evidence about those children born in that program too. So I think that Kiara is in danger, I know that Matthew cannot do anything to me, he fears too much about my father, who doesn't, but he can cause serious harm to my daughter. So I have a plan. On Friday they have an opening on that funfair and I got two tickets, one for myself, one for Kiara. I'm her godmother, or so she thinks, I take her to there. When I can I disappear and I will take her somewhere safe. I have few friends from university and from high school that I can trust and they have promised to help us but I need your help also. I have a memory chip full of documents and data about my fathers involvement on Bureaus work, how he has been funding it and even being at background all time he had been the one that had been in control. Matthew has been his puppet, he has been the puppeteer. The data that I have will end his career but you need more evidence about the Bureau and Matthew is key for it. Kiara is too, but I won't sacrifice her, you can bet on that. If you want I'm willing to go under the oath and testify against the Bureau, any time and I know two other surrogate girls that are willing to do the same, their names and contact data is on that chip too. It's your job to bring that data out and open, crush the Bureau once and for all.". I cannot believe in what she is saying, I shake my head and she just nods.

"Please Four, Tobias, do it for me, do it for yourself, do it for your daughter.". She pleads and then I find my voice back. " No, it's too risky, if you disappear I cannot protect you. I'm going to end the Bureaus work, that's sure but not with that price. Losing you again is too much, losing Kiara... I don't want even think about it." She raises her index finger and presses it against my lips. "Please, listen to me. I will not be gone permanently, just as long as needed to make sure that Kiara is safe. Kiara is all that matters to me, and you of course too, but saving Kiara is top priority for me. And I know what I'm doing, my friend is coming over, she looks a lot like me and she has a daughter that can pass as Kiara. We coordinate the clothing and other stuff, they take our places and my fathers bulldogs won't know that I'm gone with Kiara before it's too late. It's better that you won't come to funfair, if my fathers bulldogs will see you they will raise hell, and you would be in deep trouble when we disappear. I was hoping at last time that I could have warned you before but things got out of control too quickly and I didn't have any time.". I sigh and then kiss her finger so she raises it of my lips. "If only I can do something to help you two escape..." I say and she shakes her head. "It's better that you are not involved in this, you have election coming up and it won't look good if you are having some sort of public hustle and if you would be involved in kidnapping me and Kiara... That is what my father would blame instantly, that you are having something to do with it."

I kiss her, to lips and she kisses back, I forget the time and place completely. This time it's her that embraces me, I'm trying to avoid hurting her more than I already did. "If only I could take you to my apartment and doing so wouldn't risk Kiara's health and happiness, I would do it instantly. I want to keep you in safe, I want to share my life with you, I need you more than you know." I mutter under my breath and then she freezes in my arms. "You must go, quick, run. Take that water bottle from the tree, the memory chip is in there, but now, GO! I call to you when things are solved. But please, run...". She is looking in distance, then raises her hands to temples. Just a brief moment later I hear cars electric humming and I know without looking that they have tracked her down.

I hate myself when I leave her there, but I don't have other choices. I run to shadows, and when I look over my shoulder I see how she crouches like in pain, holding her head and then the cars slows in driveway, near the running tracks. Other of twins come out from car and helps Alexa up, leads her to car and then looks around, like searching something, searching me. I stand absolutely still, his eyes would spot any movement and standing still with black clothing makes me almost invisible. Almost. After a while he gets in the car and it continues and so do I, from shadow to shadow until I reach that old oak tree. There are still her water bottle and her towel, I take them both and head to home.


	32. Caleb pov 15

Please forgive me, this long pause in updating wasn't planned but it has been a hectic start for October... I'm far too busy to write but hopefully I'm getting some time for to writing now!

oOoOoOoOoOo

\- Caleb pov -

Cara kisses me and even I forget what I was about to say, thousand thing cross my mind with light speed. When my lips move a bit she embraces me more tightly, moans. Then she whimpers and pulls away from me, rushes to toilet. I just stand there, in the middle of the room, heart pounding and astonished on what just happened. "Caleb!" Cara calls to me, I hear panic in her voice and it wakes me from my thoughts. I walk to bathroom door. "Yes Cara?" I ask and wonder what is going on. "I... I need to go to hospital... if you could get a taxi or something... I'm bleeding, badly." She manages to say before I hear a thud from toilet and nothing more. I knock to door and there is no answer. Luckily it's not locked and when I open it I see Cara lying on the floor, unconscious. I help her to better position and see the blood that had come from her, too much blood that it's okay, too much for "normal bleeding". I call to hotels reception and they call ambulance.

It feels that it takes ages before ambulance arrives, but it's only 7 minutes when paramedics are here. They measure Cara's blood pressure and it's alarmingly low and she doesn't wake up. She is trying to open her eyes like paramedics ask but manages just to whimper and little flutter her eyes. They say that she must have hit her head to something when she fainted and therefore she has a concussion. Paramedics don't waste any time more, they take her to stretchers and we rush to hospital. At hospital I get seated to lobby and Cara is rushed away, to emergency room. Doctors, nurses... it seems like there is lots of medical stuff rushing to same room but no one tells to me what is going on. I just sit in there, at hospitals lobby and look how time slowly ticks away. Other patients come and go and I feel like they have totally forgotten my existence at that point.

I look the clock, seconds turn to minutes, then it's over an hour and still I'm sitting there, left alone. I just wish that everything is okay with her, I don't want to loose her. I must admit, against for what I said, that I still love her and want all the best for her. And if it means that we will have another child or even twins, then it's fine, just if I get to be with her, keep her in safe. I feel so small, so useless, helpless, alone. I need her, I need her to stand by my side, to share my life with. These few days here in Providence has bring back some of that old feeling we shared, something we were when we just dated, before Allen. It had all evolved so quickly back then, we didn't date so much before it was too late, before Allen was on the way. I had missed time together with Cara, time without kids, being together, just two of us. Not parents but just a man and a woman, a couple.

It takes almost two hours before a nurse comes and asks "mr Prior?". I almost jump up, look to her. She is smiling reassuringly when she says "Your wife wants to see you.". I wait that she tells what is going on but she just asks me to follow her, turns and walks toward emergency room, stands to doorway and then I follow, feeling little wobbly from my feet, not sure what I'm going to see.

When the door opens I immediately spot Cara, laying there in bed, looking pale but smiling, having ice pack on her forehead, she must have hit it when she collapsed in toilet. Before I get to say anything she points to doctor and says "Don't worry, it's just a mild concussion and the doctor had some good news.". Doctor smiles and shakes my hand first. "Nice to see you again, mr Prior. I'm sorry you had to wait, I was helping in a delivery, so it took some time in there but I rushed here as soon as I could." I note that he is the same doctor that did the ultrasound on Monday. He point to chair and I sit down, looking from Cara to doctor and back. Doctor flips some switch and I see a picture in monitor. It looks almost the same that it looked on Monday, but the big black area is gone. "Your blood test results have come, they are fine, looking good indeed, there's nothing to worry in those. And as you can see from here, the residual blood from inside the womb has gone, if you remember that black area from Mondays sonogram, that was main part of todays bleeding. And from here you can find one embryo with a heartbeat.". He pauses for a while and I can truly see on little comma with a blink in the middle, that must be the embryo and heartbeat. I look to Cara and see how she is smiling and when she sees me looking to her she extends her hand and I take it in mine and give a little squeeze.

The doctor continues "But the other embryo, located here...I'm sorry, but it doesn't have a heartbeat." I can feel how Cara squeezes my hand, holds it tight. "It can just be that it's just too early to be seen, maybe in day or two it can be seen or then, if the bleeding continues, there might be a partial miscarriage going on. And if that one bleeds out there is always a risk that the other one will bleed out too. But so far good news, there isn't much blood left for bleeding anymore and we switched the medication, the one she had caused her blood pressure to drop too dramatically, that was main reason for fainting out." I nod, but I'm not sure was the news good as Cara had said. One embryo has a pulse, that's good, but another doesn't and there is still a risk of miscarriage and loosing them both. And that cause for bleeding was discovered, that's good. "But you must take it easy and avoid any stress, mrs Prior, doctors orders." says the doctor and then his phone rings. "Sorry, gotta take this..." he pulls back and answers to phone.

Doctor talks a short while, I just sit there and hold Cara's hand. She is looking away, the ultrasound monitor where is a still picture of that embryo which didn't have noticeable lips are moving, I cannot hear what she is saying but it's like she is chanting, praying for that little embryo, wanting it to evolve a heartbeat too. I don't know what would be the best result; to have one or two more kids or loose them both. I just don't want to loose Cara, even I haven't yet forgotten I realized that I have forgiven, almost. It takes time but I think that I'm willing to do it, give some time for us. It's kind of scary thought to have twins and I'm not sure how we could handle that, Beata is still a toddler when they would be born and Allen isn't much older, a pre-schooler.

Doctor comes back to us. "I'm sorry, but I must leave you now, I'm needed in elsewhere. But just, mrs Prior, remember to rest, no stress and mr Prior, wake her up once or twice next night, she needs to respond to simple question then. If she doesn't then rush back. And come back if bleeding increases again, other ways just come back on Friday and you can leave now." Cara turns to look us, astonished and I smile to her reassuringly. "We can go? There is nothing to worry? There was so much blood in toilet so how it can be that there is nothing to worry?". Doctor looks his watch and then to Cara. "There is nothing to worry and we see on Friday. I hope that we get both heartbeats then, there is truly good chances for that, but now I really gotta go. See you in two days and take care."

Nurse comes and hands a long dark burgundy cardigan to Cara. "This covers up your clothes and brings some color to your face, this is from lost-and-found-bin, it has been there over a six months, so it's yours, might be little too big, but not too big for you. I must warn you, there is some reporters out there. I don't know how they know that you are here, but they are asking about you, mr Prior." I look to her, so does Cara, then we look to each other, both amazed. What does reporters want? Cara sits up and takes the cardigan. The color really suits Cara, nurse was right in that and the cardigan covers her little stained shirt and skirt perfectly, looking good. Cara looks to mirror and rearranges her blond hair a bit, then she smiles to me.

"I just wonder what does the reporters want.". She says and soon we find out. When we step out from hospital there is few flashes going on and then reporters approach us. "Mr Prior, are the rumors true?" "Mrs Prior, has your mother kidnapped a child? From your orders?" "Have you given birth to a child that is not yours nor your husbands, mrs Prior?" "Mr Prior, how you answer to accusations?" "Mr Prior, how do you feel? Have you known that your wife had been a payed surrogate?" "Is it true that you are again pregnant, mrs Prior? Our source told that you have been seeing the Providences most famous obstetrician. How you answer to that? Is the child you are carrying yours or is it other surrogate embryo? Are you going to hold this too?" "Mr Prior, do you believe that your mother-in-law has kidnapped your child as well as that surrogate child?" We cannot answer to any of those questions, they are firing them in too rapid pace and not interested in listening. I feel the hair in my neck to stand up.

Hospitals security guard comes to assist us, gets a taxi for us and helps us to get in that. Reporters stay out, making some statements, some more photographs are taken. We both sigh in unison when taxi accelerates and reporters are left behind, then Cara shakes her head. "Matthew is playing this ugly." She says and I must agree. I note how taxi driver looks us from rearview mirror with interest and I wish that Cara ends discussion in there, the taxi driver might hope to get some more paying with telling out what we talk. Cara sees what I'm looking and presses her lips together, with disgust in her look.

There isn't more reporter in front of the hotel but in the hotel lobby there is two men in suits, waiting for us. They show their badges discreetly and I nod. "I'm Bob and this one is Tim. If we could talk with you two." The bigger of cops ask politely and I nod again. "I'm willing to talk but my wife must avoid any stress and she must get to bed as quickly as possible, she has a mild concussion and she isn't feeling well and those are doctors orders, we are just back from hospital.". The polices look to each other, then back to us. "It won't take long, we must ask some questions from your wife too. If we could go to hotel bars cabinet, they promised to lend it for us. Or we can take you to police station also." There is no way that we can skip this and I'm wondering what they are going to ask, remembering those questions that reporters had. Bob leads the way, Tim follows us, like wanting to make sure that we wont escape.

The cabinet is empty, just a sign on door that says it's reserved. Bob opens the door and points us to be seated on chairs opposite the table, furthest possible point from the door. We take the seat and look to each other. Tim locks the door after us and both of them sits down opposite to us, Bob takes a small recording device from his pocket. "We are going to record this conversation so remember that, anything you will say will be on tape." They warn us and I look to them. "Do we need an attorney?". Again they look to each other before answering. "In any case if you feel that you need an attorney then you can get one but we don't have any accusations towards you two. Just some questions that needs answering."

I take a look to Cara and she shrugs. "Okay, just ask then and we answer, but we will get an attorney if we think that it's needed.". Bob starts his recorder and states the day, month, year and time for recording, after that he tells all our names. Then Tim hands pictures of three teen aged girls. "Mrs Prior, do you know who these girls are?" Cara takes a quick look and then shakes her head. "I have no idea.". Then the police takes another picture of an infant, just about month old. We both look to picture with disbelief. "And you don't have any idea who this is?" Police continues and we look to each other and shrug. There is some similarities with Beata in that baby, but lot of different features also. Beata had a lots of hair when she was born, this baby is bald. And Beata's eyes are bluest ones that I know, deep, clear blue, this babys eyes are dark brown, almost black. For sure it's not Beata, she never had clothes like that, I think that baby in the picture is some boy. "No, I don't. But can I ask where are these questions leading?" Cara answers.

"We are not allowed to tell all, but lets say this much. We are investigating about Bureaus actions and work and these three girls are the ones that were kidnapped in Chicago by Johanna Reyes. We don't know their location and now we got information that your children are kidnapped too. We are trying to investigate if they are kidnapped by same person and should we raise charges against her. And the well-being of kidnapped girls and your children is one of our top priorities. Then we found out that you too are involved with surrogacy program that the Bureau was working with." I look to Cara and she smiles little. "Could you show your badges and id's again, I'd like to take a better look of those." I can see that polices hesitate for a while before they hand their cards to Cara for investigating.

Cara looks to polices cards, nods and hands them back. "All I can say that my daughter was threatened by a Bureau worker, he was claiming that he could take her away from me. My mother is babysitting our children in Chicago now when we are here and she has traveled to a safe location with kids but she haven't told where to us. It's fine for us, the priority is to keep our children in safe. I know nothing more about Johanna's case than I have read from papers and heard from news, so I cannot help you with that. And If this was all then I must apologize and leave, I really need to get some rest." Polices seems to know that there isn't any more information that they can get from Cara. Tim looks to me. "Do you know where we could find mr Eaton? He wasn't at home when we got there first.". I shrug, I think it's not my job to tell them. "I just know his address here in Providence and I saw him... was it yesterday... at a dinner party. Or two nights before, I have lost count of days. As far as I know he is in Providence, attending to different parties as should we do. But my wife's condition is the top priority for me."

Bob smiles coldly. "Your devotion to your wife is remarkable, even when we know that you two are divorcing and your younger child isn't yours.". I look back to him, wanting to stare him down. "Birth certificate says that I'm her father, so I am. I have been there when she was born, I have helped to raise her, I have fed, changed the diapers... I'm her father more than some else who's genes she might be carrying." I raise up, so does Cara. Tim and Bob doesn't try to stop us when we walk away, they remain seated, not even looking after us. "We know where to find you, if we want to ask some more questions." Tim says and switches the recorder of.

When we get to our hotel room I have an instant feeling that someone has been there. Of course the housekeeping has cleaned it up but there is some mess or something that isn't explained by housekeeping. It's like someone has been there and searched through our stuff, looking for something. I get a pen and paper and write a quick note to Cara. _"Don't say anything about the B or Matt or any about this. I'm not sure if this room is safe place anymore, it might be wired."._ Cara looks to what I'm writing and nods. Then she takes the pen and writes down. _"I think that their id's were fake ones but I must contact the FBI to be sure. But I'm guessing that they weren't polices those two, they might work for Matt."._ I nod. There is something fishy in this.


	33. Four pov 16

\- Four's pov -

Thursday morning after a rather sleepless night. I'm have been thinking over and over again how could Alexa get Kiara to safety if they knew her whereabouts so clearly like they did last night. She didn't tell how she is going to handle that, but I'm sure that she must have a plan for that also. I raise from bed early and take that water bottle to my hand. It looks just like an ordinary drinking bottle, made out from plastic and then I discover that the bottom part can be taken from the bottle. It has enough room for a locker key or in this case for a memory chip. I take my laptop and place the memory chip in there. I was planning just to take a short look on what kind of data she has collected but after a hour I'm still reading and totally amazed. I was thinking that there would be just some information that wasn't so useful but this is... this truly is far more than that! This has taken time for Alexa to collect all this information and she really wants to destroy her father.

I stretch out and look what time it is. It's almost 9 am and I have first meeting with press at 10 am so I must hurry up. I take the memory chip, it's too valuable to be left anywhere so I must have it with me all the time. I rush to shower, a quick shave and then I select a dark suit for this day, white shirt and a dark red tie. Zeke is having a breakfast already when I get to kitchen and put some toast to toaster. "There is enough coffee for you too, have you slept last night?" Zeke says. "Just little while." I answer honestly and Zeke turns to look to me. "When did you get back?". I shrug, I'm not sure, didn't look the watch then. "It was before 1 am but I heard something that made me stay awake, had to think things over and over. It's complicated, you know.". Zeke shakes his head "No, I don't know, but tell me more about it.". I'm not in the mood for that so I just take a cup from cupboard and pour some coffee there. This is luxury, a benefit in living with someone else, having just made coffee ready at morning. I put some butter to toast and sit down to table, opposite to Zeke. He is reading something long and with a frown between his eyebrows. Then he hands the tablet he was reading to me. "I figure that you haven't heard or read the news.". I take the tablet and when I read the headlines my jaw drops. "They are saying that Dara has kidnapped two kids and the another one is Matthew's?" This must be the reason why Caleb called me yesterday morning! I read the article fast, something that I have learned in these years, reading fast and picking all important data at same time.

Zeke drinks his coffee in peace, lets me read in peace and then says casually "I called earlier this morning to Amar and to some other my coworkers at Chicago's police. They say that they are not accusing Dara on anything, they are not suspecting that she has done anything wrong and they are not after her or kids but yesterday morning there had been some incidence at Prior's home and they had arrested Matthew. He later bailed out but I and all other think that this is some Matthews publicity trick to pay back to Caleb, Cara and Dara. He is playing this ugly and using media to his own needs.". I nod, he truly is playing ugly this game. And this must be connected to what Alexa said last night, Matthew calling to her dad, panicked and forcing Alexa to make arrangements for Kiaras safety. I must speak to Caleb, the sooner, the better. I wonder where he was yesterday evening, I thought that they would be coming to that charity event.

I look to my watch and notice that I must hurry up. "I have some press meetings today, some interviews and I will be back here about 5-5:30 pm and then I have tickets to that charity dinner for womens health care organizations, it's held at that modern art and design museum.". Zeke smiles "That sounds wonderful, have a nice day, darling.". I slap him little bit and he just laughs. I rush from my apartment and manage to be just in time at government house, at my previous office room, it's reserved for me for this days interviews, Caleb will have Johanna's old room for his interviews.

Andrew brings a list of reporters and media representatives that have scheduled a meeting with me and some of them are marked to be held together with Caleb. "Caleb is coming little late, he will be here in fifteen minutes." Andrew reports and hands some coffee to me. "Your first meeting starts in twenty minutes but main interest is in Caleb I think, just because of his mother-in-law's actions.". I look up from the list to Andrew. "Do you believe in those accusations?". I must ask and he shrugs. "I don't know if it's true or false and frankly, I don't care. It's all good for you, don't you think, makes voters think who to choose and you are more suitable for Chicago's representative.". I just keep on looking to him and he blushes a bit. Then I look back to the list. Some of reporters are ones that I know, some media houses too, they haven't named who will do the interview.

Because I have some time I call to Johanna, just to hear her voice. First news are good, she is going to be moved from ICU to some neurological ward and I promise to come for a visit, hoping to see her in there. But over all this is a good sign, she is making a recovery and soon she will be released from hospital. "But I still miss some parts of my memory.". She tells and continues "maybe it all will come back in time and if not, I have that note book. Or I had that note book, red leather covers, but I cannot find it anywhere, it's not in my bag where I keep it... Have you seen it? I write all important stuff in it.". I think for a while what to answer for her direct question, I do have her notebook but should I tell it to her. When she doesn't get an answer she continues "You know that Matthew, your friend who works for the Bureau, just came to visit for me yesterday evening. At first they weren't letting him in but then he managed to talk into letting him visit to me and he asked some really strange questions, I didn't have any answers for those. And they had to call to hospitals security when he didn't believe in me and refused to understand that I have this short term memory loss. And by the way, have I asked about that little red notebook that I have, have you seen it? I think I have some vital notes in there, but I seem to have lost it... It's not in my bag or in my coats pockets. I have noticed before that my memory isn't always so good so I write everything that is important in that notebook but now I have lost it". So her memory isn't quite back yet, she still asks same questions over and over again when she doesn't remember the answers. But I'm surprised when I realize that she remembered Matthews visit, normally she doesn't remember what we have talked in our last phone call or when I will come to Chicago and meet her, that is something she normally asks every time when we talk, straight in the beginning of our conversation.

This doesn't sound nice, if they let Matthew in the ICU to harass Johanna, what it would be when she gets to normal neurological ward? I'm afraid that Matthew will be there more often, asking his questions. "Johanna, I call to hospitals security and explain everything, you don't have to worry over Matthew anymore." I promise and look my watch. I just have few minutes and I haven't seen or heard about Caleb. Johanna thanks me again and says that she is so waiting for Monday when she will meet me and get a chance to really talk with me. So she does remember some stuff and her memory must be getting better.

I take my phone and call to hospitals switch and ask for the head of security. It takes a while before he answers and I explain the situation. He says that they have instructions from Chicago's police and they clearly say that Matthew isn't allowed to talk with Johanna, there is a short list for visitors that have all time access to see Johanna, I'm on top of that list. He promises that same kind of mistake that clearly happened last night won't happen again as long as Johanna is in hospital and he personally will look out who has made a mistake and remind of the restrictions.

And then there is a knock on the door. I put the phone down and stretch a bit before answering. Andrew looks in "Are you ready? The first reporter is here and Caleb is too, wants to talk with you, urgently. Which one I send in first?" I don't have to think. "Send Caleb first and offer some refreshments and apologies to reporters.". Andrew nods and Caleb slips in. He looks tired and worried. "Do you want something to drink?" Andrew asks but Caleb just shakes his head and Andrew leaves, closing the door.

Caleb sits down and sighs. "Something wrong?" I ask and he looks to me. "Don't you read the news?" He asks and I nod. "Well, then you know. What a mess..." He says and I nod again. "Would you like to tell what happened?". Caleb looks to me, clearly thinking and then smiles wryly. "Cara must have told to you that Beata isn't mine." He starts and looks to my eyes, when I nod he continues. "Well, Beata isn't Cara's either. She is genetically made by the Bureau and Cara has just been a surrogate. Or she had some sort of agreement with Matthew, so legally Beata is ours, our names are in her birth certificate but Beata was an frozen embryo at the Bureaus laboratory.".

I don't know what to say and I sense that there is more. Caleb raises his hand, signaling for me to keep quiet. "Just like your daughter, as you heard when we were on that dinner on Tuesday. My daughter looks a lot like yours and they both come from same laboratory." I nod. "And last night I saw a picture of a baby boy that had same looks partly than Beata and your daughter has but it was partly different, had something similar than... Alexa. So I guess that they had done lots of testing with different DNA's and they might have done unimaginable amount of embryos and born children when they were trying to get those genetically pure humans. All we need is unite and together go to the Bureaus head quarters and force Matthew to give all information that we need.". I nod, I don't think that would be so simple or easy, but we could try it. Then I remember the memory chip that I got from Alexa. "And I have information about Bureaus funding and more, but not so much about the Bureaus actions. It would be good if we could get our hands on their experimental data; whose DNA's they have used and how many children there is and from which combinations."

Caleb nods "But the problem in that is Matthew. I think that he's not going to give that information freely and openly to us, not after what he did to us and what Dara did after that." I must agree. "And I don't think that we have enough evidence so we could go to the police and ask them to get a search warrant. Matthew is probably doing all he can to destroy all evidence of any illegal work that the Bureau has done over these years as we speak, if he haven't done it earlier. If they had some records in any way.". Caleb looks worried, I think that he haven't thought that earlier. "I'm not sure if police could help us and speaking about the police... last night two men came to talk with me and Cara, they were trying to make us to tell where Dara and our kids are and do we know anything about the whereabouts of those three girls that the Bureau claimed that Johanna had kidnapped. They showed a picture of that boy to us. And they said that they were from FBI but Cara looked their ID's and those looked weird, their badges too. She asked from the FBI and they don't have any case open that involves the Bureau, Dara, our kids or those three girls. And the names that those two had in their ID's were fake ones." This makes me truly worried and I realize that Alexa was right, she must take Kiara to safety. But I surely wish she had done that already, it's so long time till Friday!

I look to my watch. "We are now about 10 minutes late of our schedule, so what do you say, let's do these morning interviews with speed, then have a lunch brake together and after that are those interviews where they wanted both of us together and that photo shoot. This case isn't easily solved, not by talking about it.". Caleb sighs. "I don't want to answer all those questions, I don't want to hear their accusations or their questions about my children or my wife and the way they say those is... I just cannot tolerate those in this mind set." I stand up and place my hand on his shoulder. "You can answer to those questions that you don't want to talk about it or police has told to you not to talk about it. Change the discussion to your political program and say that you family matters are private and they don't affect your ability to work as a member of the government. Or something." Caleb smiles a bit. "Or something.". He stands up and shakes my hand. "I know that I can trust in you." He says. "Always." I promise.

The interviews go fast, I get to tell about my political program and everything goes smoothly until the last reporter of this morning comes. "Hi, I'm Kat Smith, I'm from the best selling womens magazine Womans World and I have some intimate questions. We all know that you are quite a hunk." I smile a bit, tilt my head and cross my hands in front of me. She looks to me, smiles too and continues. "But the real question is that do you prefer boys or girls?". I look to her with a disbelief. "Why do you ask something like that?". She blushes a bit. "Well, my information sources told that you have been attending to charity events with a man and you have been really open and friendly with him. You have arrived together with him, leaving at same time.". I snort. "Yes, your information sources has been right on that, my friend is visiting in Providence this week and I had two tickets to those events, as for the rest of those, so of course I invite my friend to join me.".

"And you say that you are only friends?" She asks and I nod, there is nothing more to say. She waits a while before says "But you have never dated with anyone, or have you? A woman I mean. In all these years there haven't been any lady that has been seen with you, and when you go to Chicago you see your friends, mostly male." I look to opposite wall for a while, then to that reporter, Kit or Kat or whatever. "I dated a girl years ago, we had a special connection between us right from the beginning. She was everything to me, everything I could hope, want. I loved her so much, I still do. Too bad that she died years ago and because of her I haven't wanted any other girl or woman to my life. She was my everything." Reporter raises her finger. "But then my another source told to me that you had been seen with a woman, dancing and... kissing. You seemed deeply intimate with her, or so I heard. And I heard also that her father don't approve you." I just look to her. "And you want me to comment what? Did you have a question?". She smiles. "Just that: for all our woman readers, are you single or taken and are you gay, bi or straight? And who was that girl? Why her father doesn't approve you?". I raise my eyebrow and look to her, deeply in her eyes. "What do you think?". She blushes to bright red, turns her gaze away but doesn't answer. "You can write down to that question that I'm not single nor seeing anyone and I'm straight, if that is your main concern. And for other questions the only answer is no comments. I'd like my personal life to stay my personal life, it's not yours or anyone others business". She looks then back to me. "a truly politicians answer, you say a lot but still nothing and at the end deny everything."

"If you don't have anything else you want to ask from me then I think that we are finished." I stand up and so does she. I escort her to the door and by there she turns and smiles to me, standing close to me. "Remember, mr Eaton, that I have my sources and I will find out who that woman was and the reasons why her father doesn't approve you. You are the hottest candidate, single... readers need to know. You get more voters when the article comes out, trust me, I know these things." She winks her eye and leaves, letting me stand in there, by the doorway and looking after her. Her hips swing, she is wearing high heeled shoes and then, just on the other end of corridor, she turns a bit and looks back to me and I can see even from this distance that she is smiling. Then I notice that Caleb stands next to me. "That one was a really scary one.". He says and I must agree. "Lets go and have a lunch brake."

We head to nearby cafeteria, there is a decent lunch catering too. We get a table near the back corner, there is some privacy in there. We eat a while in silence, then I ask "How is Cara? You weren't yesterday at the dinner.". Caleb raises his eyes from the food and looks to me. "Cara is fine, she had some pregnancy complications but she is now resting at the hotel and hopefully everything is going on just... fine.". I nod. "And how are you two, if you don't mind me for asking.". Caleb shrugs. "To be honest, I don't know. I cannot leave her, not in this situation but still, I'm so... angry, disappointed, hurt... cheated. My main concern now is to guarantee the safety for my family, especially for my kids.". I continue my meal in silence, one question in my mind but I don't know how to ask it. Then finally I have to get it out. "But if it comes out that your daughter, Beata is actually mine, then... what shall we do? Do you think that I'm willing to let you play her father and I'm just some friend? Because if she is from my DNA and from Tris, then she is, as well as Kiara, my daughter. Everything that I have left from Tris." Caleb looks to me, little pale, thinking hard. Obviously he haven't thought this before.


	34. Caleb pov 16

\- Caleb pov -

It takes time to look around that hotel room, nothing is missing and there is nothing that seems to be extra but still I'm not sure that this room isn't wired or something. Cara's phone is still on the sofa, she takes it and switches it on, read some messages she has gotten when we were at the hospital. I write to paper a quick note. "Not sure if they are monitoring this room so let's not talk anything important, not about the B or M.". Cara nods and goes to bed, looks to bedside table for a while and places her phone there. I follow her with my gaze but when she starts taking of her clothes I quickly look away, blushed, like I was doing something wrong when I looked her. "That nurse was nice when she got this cardigan for me, this skirt is truly a mess and I think that it won't come clean...". I hear her saying and apparently she puts her night gown on and slips between the sheets with a sigh, according the noises that she makes. "But this bed is nice, why don't you come here too?".

Then I look to her and she looks so lovely in there. I take her blood stained clothes and place them to laundry bag. "I'm sure that they can clean these, let's try, this skirt looks nice on you." She smiles and wiggles a bit then. "Wait, put these to bag too..." She throws her bra to me. I catch it and place it quickly to bag, but my fingers remember her warmth on that piece of fabric. I'm somehow embarrassed and I can feel that I'm blushing. Cara giggles, she is teasing me, or so it seems. She knows that I'm not good in games like this, handling her underwear. I take my pj's and rush to toilet, hearing Cara's laughter following me. Bathroom too has been cleaned, everything is in right places, all blood stains gone, fresh white towels on racks. I decide that I need a shower, a long, cold shower. That truly helps me to clear my thoughts and slow my beating heart back to normal rhythm. "I can handle this" I mutter to myself. When I get back to hotel room Cara seems to be sleeping on her side of the bed but when I get to my side I can see her opening her eyes just for a short while and then smiling.

Cara snuggles a bit closer to me and places her hand on my shoulder. I can feel her warmth, sense her breathing. She snuggles still a bit closer and kisses me. I lay there, motionless, inside of my brain is shouting. At the same time I want to flee, get out from bed and the opposite, get closer to her, kiss her, touch her, love her. When I don't react to her kisses she pulls back a bit and looks to me. I whisper "Cara, please. Don't mess with my head. Give me some time.". In a dim light I can see how disappointed she looks, hurt at same time. I don't want to hurt her but I don't want to get hurt myself. She sighs. "I just wish that... at one day you will... I just wish that I haven't done what I did. I just wish that you could say that you still love me, if not now but some day. I love you, I have always loved you and I don't know why I did what I did. But if I could make one thing undone, that would be it." She whispers and I pull her close to me, for comfort. I know I'm hurting her when I reject her and her approach but I cannot help myself. I just feel that she is coming on me too strongly and I think that we need some counseling and really discuss and make things right before I can say that I love her. I do love her but... Oh, this is way too complicated!

I slowly caress her back and then she turns away, and I spoon her, holding her near to me. "Good night, Cara" I whisper and she sighs again "Good night, Caleb" she whispers. She fits so nicely there, smells so nice, feels so familiar, warm. I can feel her heartbeat, how she breathing deepens, how she relaxes. My body reacts to her presence but in my mind I'm still keeping the distance. I don't want to get hurt, not anymore but I don't want to hurt her more than I already have. I'm glad that she understands the limits that I'm holding up, even it hurts both of us when I reject her. It takes little longer for me to relax, just hearing her sleeping helps. She is smaller than me, her body has more soft curves than it did five years ago, maternity has soften her and it makes her look better. Finally I fall to sleep, I'm holding her in my lap, my hand holding her tightly against me. It's comforting, feeling her against me, there is still someone in this wide world that shares my life, is part of my family even my parents and my sister have died.

I wake up suddenly, I don't know what time it is. Cara isn't anymore at my lap, she has moved further to her side of the bed, still sound asleep. I reach out for my phone and look what time it is and then jump out of bed shocked. I'm late! I forgot to put on the alarm and I have overslept. I never ever sleep too long on mornings, not if I have some meetings agreed, like I have this morning. And I would have to talk with Four, I really need to talk with him about yesterday. I truly hope that Four can help us and have some good ideas how we can get information out from Matthew. I get my suit and hurry to toilet, shave, brush my teeth and hair, dress up and look myself in mirror. Looking like a politician. I check my pockets, I have everything that I need. I step out from the toilet and look to Cara. She's still sleeping and I walk to bed, slowly place a really light kiss on her cheek. She smiles a bit but doesn't open her eyes.

There is quite a long walk to the government buildings but I cannot get a taxi, every one that I see is occupied so I have to walk. There is a lot of people walking at same direction, men and women that I have seen before, present government representatives and candidates. This is the media day, so there are lots of reporters, cameramen and photographers. I manage to get inside without too much of hustle, I show my card that I got on Monday and get pass the security point. I'm bit lost before I spot the sign that says Chicago and head to that direction. At first I see Andrew, he smiles little cocky to me, then claps my shoulder. "I'm glad that you could make it, I was worrying, aren't you little late?" He says and I look to him like he is some sort of an idiot. "Yes, I know that I'm little late but could I talk with mr Eaton first?". Like he could say if I could or couldn't, it's actually up to Four, what he decides and what is his timetable, does he have time for a little chat now or later. Andrew knocks to Fours door, there is a little sign saying "acting representative of Chicago, mr Tobias Eaton". I just look that sign and feel like it's same to give up now, I'm never going to win him. Then I see the sign on the other door, just stating "former Chicago's city council member, mr Caleb Prior". I gather myself, I can do this! I really can! At least I have to try, they voted me to be Four's opponent to this election, they wouldn't have done it if they thought that I didn't have any chance.

Talking with Four, well, it's always interesting. I never seem to get inside of his mind and he always seems to be one or two steps in front of me. Now he has some data of the Bureaus funding and I'm just guessing where he has gotten it. He seems to be good friends with Alexa and her father is one of biggest investors for the Bureau so that is one possibility, if Alexa is betraying her father and giving up some inside information to Four. And I don't doubt that she would do it, after all it seems that Four can charm any one he wishes and use them for his own purposes. There is still so much of soldier in him, I think, that he uses similar tactics. And there is so much of politician in him so he uses that too. But he can give some good advises, offer another viewing point to matters and he doesn't give any direct advices, that is good. He seems little worried over something but we don't have enough time to discuss more. I must go to my interviews, he has his and on afternoon we will have some interviews together.

First two reporters are playing it safe and nice, no hard questions and I relax a bit. If all would go like this then this would be just a walk in the park, easy thing. But I have a feeling that there is something coming up and when the third reporter comes I know my fears will come to true. I honestly think that there is nothing nice in that woman, Kat Smith. She is from hell! She is smiling and pretending to be nice but at same time she is like venomous snake, waiting for a chance to bite. At the beginning the questions are nicer, clouded with smiles and soften with words but when she doesn't get the answers she was hoping for the note changes. Soon she is asking over and over again about my divorce and the reasons why I filed those papers and still have my wife here at Providence, why I go out with my wife and pretend like we still are are a couple and in love when there is a divorce process going on. I refuse to answer to most of her questions and at some point they are no longer questions, just assumptions, waiting for confirmation, which I don't give. I don't want my personal life to be written all over to tabloids, I don't want everyone to read my family matters. I have absolutely no idea why I accepted to participate to these interviews. I'm almost loosing my temper when she pauses and smiles knowingly.

"And then to other matter, you and your wife have visited a hospital multiple times here in Providence and someone told to me that you have been meeting the best obstetrician that this city has to offer. Is your wife expecting?". I just look to her and smile back. "I'm not going to discuss about my family life nor my wifes health issues with you, thank you.". She presses on. "So you say that rumors are true?". I roll my eyes, why it's so hard for her to understand and accept my answers? "No, I said that I'm not going to discuss about these matters with you or anyone else.". Kat taps her pad for a while, just looking to me. "So to cut this short. You are going to get a divorce from your wife, your mother-in-law has kidnapped your little children that you are going to leave fatherless and your wife is pregnant. Honestly, what do you think your chances are to get elected for the government?". I just look to her and sigh. "I say this much and if you write anything else on your fancy magazine I will make sure that you are going to regret it. I have had some arguments with my wife, that is true, but we have never stopped loving each other and we are going to solve those arguments, together. She makes me stronger, a better person and it would be foolish to get a divorce. And our children are with their granny, they are in safe place, having fun when we attend to these events on Providence.". She waits for more and I shake my head "And that is all I'm going to say to you.".

It's a relief when Andrew knocks to door and tells that Kat's time is up, next reporter is waiting for his turn and it would be the last one before the lunch brake. Kat leaves without looking back and I just hope that she won't write anything nasty of me or of my family to that magazine that is paying her salary. She pushes the next reporter aside and I roll my eyes. What does she thinks to be? Something big and important when all she writes is a bunch of rumors, gossips and speculations, assumptions? That male reporter that she pushed aside quickly gathers himself and knocks to my open doors frame. I smile to him, that politicians smile that doesn't reach the eyes. He comes in and closes the door. "I figure out that you didn't give an interview that she had hoped for." he says at the beginning and I must agree. Rest of this interview goes well, we just discuss my political themes and issues that are close to my heart, what improvements I would like to do and how I would run my home city's agenda at the government. Easy job to answer these same questions that most of reporters have had. My thoughts go back to Kat and her attitude. She could be a danger, she could write a really nasty article.

When that last reporter leaves and it's time for lunch I get out from office and see how Kat storms out from Fours office, looking really displeased. I can see from Fours posture that he is angry, just trying to control himself. When I get to him he frowns. "That on was a really scary one" I say and Four knows who I mean. "Let's go and have a lunch brake" he says and we head to nearby cafeteria that serves lunch. We get our lunches and eat mainly in silence, Four asks some questions about Cara, that normal small talk that we have. I can see that something is bothering him and then he drops the bomb, something I haven't even thought before. I don't know why it haven't even crossed my mind, I have known that she looks so much about Beatrice and she has felt to my own since her birth. And there has been so much else in my life. When I heard that Beata isn't mine it was just a relief that she wasn't Cara's and Matthew's. When I found out that she was made by the Bureau, in the Bureaus laboratory, using questionable techniques, I was just... angry for the Bureau, they didn't have any rights to use my sisters DNA. I had been sad for Beata, she would never ever meet her mother. Why haven't I thought about who her father was? I didn't ever thought who her father would be, would he be dead or alive, not until I saw a picture about Kiara and found out that she was Fours daughter. I had only thought that Beata is Beatrice's child and I'm her uncle, only living relative, therefore I have responsibilities over her, I have to take care of her, raise her, being only living relative. Yes, I'm that, from Beata's mothers side, only one that is alive, that's true. But not even after founding out that Four could be my daughters biological father I haven't thought that he might have something to say about it. Of course, if Four is her biological father, he has some rights over her, no matter what the birth certificate says. At least he can sue us and have good chances to win that battle.

I'm silent for a long time, just look to Four. "Have you thought… would a small child fit to your life? Who would take care of her when your working days are long? And what would it do to Beata if she looses the only mother and father she has known? Does she really have to leave the mother that has given birth to her, the father who has nursed her when she was just a newborn. And she is everything that is left for me from Beatrice, please remember that." I can see how Four's jaw tightens. "I think that isn't your problem to think. I can handle her and I can get all help I want, my mother has a lot of free time, she can help. If it proves out that she is my biological daughter then she belongs to me and if her mother is Tris, Beatrice, then you will be her uncle, there is no way that can be taken away from you. But you cannot be her father. And I have evidence that Kiara is my daughter, therefore I believe that Beata is too. But I'm willing for DNA tests, if necessary."

I can see that he is drop dead serious about this and then I think it what I would do if I were in his place. I guess that I would fight for my rights to be a father. "I'm not arguing about your rights but I think that Beata too has some rights. If you just take her then her whole world will collapse, everything she has known will be gone and she has to adapt to so much new... it would be so hard for her." Four just looks to me, like wanting me to really think, not to argue with him. After a long silence, when we both have finished our lunches he asks "How old is Beata now?". I have to do a quick count before answering "She will be 9 months near the election day, so she is 8 months now.". Four stands up and goes to get a cup of coffee without saying anything. I follow him, get a cup for myself and we sit back to same table. "How much you remember what happened to you when you were less than one year old? When you were two? Three?" I just look to him and nod. I get the point, he says that it's all the same for Beata who has taken care of her , she won't remember it when she grows up. "But it would brake her basic security feeling, she would always feel abandoned deep inside." Four rolls his eyes. "Of course I wouldn't take her and cut all connections to you two and to her cousin or should I say her cousins. I'm sure that if we give some time for it then it will go quite naturally." I'm still not sure and mostly I worry what will Cara say about this, it will be a huge slap to her face. "But would Beata has a stepmother, when she would live with you? You are single, is that a good for a child?" He looks to me like not understanding what I'm saying. "You know, my mother faked her death when I was young, that is one of my first memories, attending to my mothers fake funeral. Not every child has mother in their life when they grow up." He states. "Oh yes, I remember that and I remember those rumors that were going round, about your fathers abilities to raise you. Don't you fear that you will do same mistakes, raising a child alone is quite hard...". I see fire in his eyes, he looks really pissed. "Don't you ever dare to even suggest something like that." Oh no, this is not going well...


	35. Four pov 17

\- Four's pov-

"Don't you ever dare to even suggest something like that." I say to Caleb, how does he dare to say anything like that. Of course he has heart the rumors about my father and how he treated me but I don't want to talk about that, not think about that, not remember that. I'm sure that I won't ever do that to my own children, I won't ever treat they in the way that my father treated me. I have learned my lessons. Caleb looks little embarrassed but doesn't say anything. I look away, sip some hot coffee. In my mind I still remember those terrors that was my everyday life when I was a kid, a teenager, lived with my father. I remember the decision that I won't ever have children of my own, I had feared that I couldn't be a father, I never had a good role model to fatherhood. Now when I'm older and wiser than that rebellious teenager that made those decisions I know that I could be a good father. I take a deep breath and try to calm down and then look to Caleb in the eyes.

"Look Caleb. I know it's hard for you and I can bet that it's hard for Cara and Allen too but... You must understand. I'm not taking Beata away from you, not now, not in this second, not in this week. But I want the DNA-testing to be done, I want to know whose child she is. If she is mine, then I want to be announced to her biological father. Everything else can be solved with time and patience, nothing is happening today. But I want you to know this, I want those tests, I want to know the truth, I want to solve this thing.". Caleb looks back and then smiles a bit. "Sorry, I over reacted. I have to talk with Cara about this and then we need every peace of data we can get from Matthew about the Bureaus work. But if it comes out that Beata might be yours then you can have that DNA-test.". I think a while, then nod, it's not entirely what I was hoping for but better than nothing. I extend my right hand across the table and Caleb shakes it. "Agreed" we both say.

I drink the rest of my coffee and then look what time it is, we have about ten minutes before next interview. When we walk back to government building I have to ask "When could I meet Beata? I haven't ever met her, you know." I can see how Caleb hesitates. "When we get back to Chicago, then you can come to our home and meet her there, if you promise not to say to her anything about you being the father.". I can live with that so I nod. "I won't say anything about that, not before we know for sure.". Caleb looks to distance, then he sighs. "These are times when I wish that..." He looks to me. "I wish that Beatrice and our parents would be alive." I don't say anything to that but a brief moment I think how different my life, our lives, would be if things had gone in different way. "Well, if they were, we wouldn't be here and talking about is your daughter yours or mine.". I say just when we reach the government buildings and Caleb nods.

First two interviews we do together, the questions are easy and we are really polite when we talk about our relationship, how we have been friends years ago. They ask about our views about Chicago's future and what we are going to do after when one of us gets elected and other one looses. Simple basic questions that doesn't bring much difference between us, no arguing in these. Then there is two individual interviews and at 4 pm we go to photo shoot. First there is some technical difficulties with lights and camera and then they take a lot of photos of us alone and together. This all takes a lot of time. When I get back to my apartment it's already 5:30 pm and I need to hurry or we will be late from the dinner that starts at 6:30; there will be a fashion show at the beginning. I'm not so interested in fashion but I know that they will film that event and the runway is going between the dinner tables so everyone that is there and everyone that is missing will be noted. So I make myself ready in hurry, lucky for me that I don't need to do much. The suit that I was wearing earlier goes to hanger and I change for more suitable outfit for dinner even, check that my hair is okay and notice that I don't have to shave, there is a little shadow on my cheeks but it's okay too.

Just when I was ready my phone bleeped for incoming message. I wasn't planning to take my phone to the charity event but I didn't have time to read the message. I rush with Zeke to downstairs and lucky for us we get a taxi almost immediately. I read the message in taxi, Zeke is looking out from window, deep in his toughs. It was from unknown number, just stated: "Trust no one, read the notebook, carefully." I checked that I had the note book with me, as well as the memory chip from Alexa. I didn't trust anyone, never had. It was just a basic precaution for me, in everything. I only trusted for myself. I wondered what was so important in that notebook and who was the sender and if the sender wanted me to trust no one then why should I do like the sender wanted? Then came another message. "Please 4, don't over analyse like you always do. I have taught so much for you so now you can do my job, better than I have done it. Just read it, through. You'll find all answers in there." I smiled. I had a hunch about the senders identity, even the number was unknown. Then I note how silent Zeke has been all the evening.

"Is something wrong?" I ask and he looks to me. "You tell me." He answers and I have to take a deep breath for not to snap to him. "I don't like these games, something is bothering to you clearly and I want to know what it is." I manage to say and he sighs. "There were two men asking for you this afternoon. They weren't who they pretended to be, I know those men and they aren't what they said, but they didn't recognize me. I don't know what you are involved in but… be careful. " I smile a bit. "I think that those were same men that questioned Priors yesterday evening, they are looking for something." Zeke looks little surprised "Do you know what they are after?". I look to taxi driver and then nod. "I know, but I cannot tell it to you, not now." He nods, knowing what I'm referring to. "I will ask about this, later..." and I'm sure that he will. Then I notice that we have arrived to the Modern Art and Design Museum and when I look to my watch I note that there is five minutes before event starts. Just in time!

We get escorted to our table just in time, it's a big table for ten this time and we are last ones to arrive to our table. We don't have any time for introductions, lights dim out and spotlights go on. The fashion show begins! Speaker tells about the design school and it's value for the entire society, how they are the best school, giving the best education in whole country. The clothes are designed and made by third year students, this has been part of their finals before graduating. Models are mainly friends and relatives of the students, young and older ones, boys, girls, men and women, just casual people that really are trying hard to make the clothes look at the best. They know that the clothing is judged and the grade that the student gets from his or hers design is given today. They start as something that they call "every day office wear" and some of those look like they really could be used in office and in formal meetings but others. Well, I have never understood about the fashion, some look really, just putting it nicely, interesting. There is polite applauses and more enthusiastically ones to some. I'm not paying attention fully to the fashion show but then I notice one of models. She looks a lot like Alexa, looking in distance, blank stare in her face, walking with steady steps with really high heeled stilettos. When she gets closer I get to see her better and indeed, she is Alexa. What is she doing on runway?

Then the first round is finally finished and lights change color, music changes and next round starts. Now the models are wearing "something casual for clubbing and having fun with friends". Now the clothing gets even stranger but I cannot help myself. I sit there, waiting for to see Alexa again. Some of casual wear makes their carrier blush and seem really embarrassed, showing almost too much of carries skin. Some of clothing looks quite nice and then I spot her. She is wearing a little neat, nice black dress that hugs her body, flatters her, makes all curves seem fuller, makes her shine, even from distance. When she gets closer I can see the material of her dress, it's covered with sequins and when she reaches the end of the runway she takes a scarf that she was wearing around her neck and wraps it around her shoulders. A quick shake, stir and a swivel motion, she is wearing bright red dress, the sequins has turned in other way and the dress looks completely different. She blinks her eye and then she meets my gaze. I can see that clearly, she freezes for a millisecond, then continues like usual, distant herself, blank look in her face. Applauses are huge!

"Aren't she magnificent! I just hope I didn't ruin the hole thing, she almost lost it when I showed two thumbs up to her." the lady next to me whispers. I take a quick look to her and she smiles to me. "That last model, she is our family's close friend, Erica Matthews" I feel chills going down on my spine, I know instantly that I'm sitting next to Kiara's foster mother. "Oh, yes she is, magnificent." I manage to say and she smiles. "Too bad that her father isn't here to see this, he had a minor injury at golf course this afternoon and had to skip this event. He didn't want her daughter Erica to attend this event without him but I promised to look after her and she had promised to help her friend with this event earlier so James didn't have any other options.". I smile a bit, hearing that her father couldn't attend this event is just great news!

Then the music changes and we get to see some sport wear, there is swim wear, running wear, some more suitable for tennis or golf, some clothing for sailing. Most of them are really traditional, not so much weird clothing in this category. I can sense the atmosphere electrifying when it's getting closer for Alexa's turn. She is wearing little strange looking suit that covers her from head to knees and elbows. At the end of runway she stops for a while, turns her back to everyone and then opens the zipper and rips the top of her suit away. She turns back, wearing now the bottom of that suit and a tank top, showing her tattoos and tight muscular stomach. She throws the upper part of the suit to someone that is assisting her and get a cycling helmet back. She smiles and walks back, in middle way she takes the helmet off and runs the rest of runway. The commentator explains "And this last model was mrs Erica Matthews that has won multiple triathlons and will be attending to Big Weeks marathon. And remember, we are taking bets! Who is going to win the marathon?". Again there is a huge round of applauses.

"And now the last part, the evening wear!". Models wear formal suits and long evening dresses, there is some bridal wear too. Lots of sequins, pearls, glitter, lace. Who ever that has designed Alexa's dresses has really strong competition. Finally it's her turn and she walks in with a big smile, looking absolutely fabulous. No tricks this time, she just looks like her dress is on fire, it's golden on the top and gradually changes from gold to orange to deep red. She is just smiling, like trying to charm everyone at the audience and she is truly doing a good work. When she gets at the end of the runway, next to our table she is taking time, looking everyone and smiling, saving me for the last. There is a little wink before she spins around, showing how her dress flows and walks away. Audience starts applauses and continue when the designers come out with their models, all in evening dresses. The commentator introduces them and then I see her, Alexa's friend that had designed her clothes. They look a lot alike, Alexa's friend might be an inch shorter but it's hard to say, they both wear high heeled stilettos. And I see that Alexa's friend is wearing the dress that Alexa had on Tuesdays dinner, the one that changes color from silver to dark blue.

Teachers come to runway, all students and models applause to them and then the principal takes a microphone. She remind about Johanna, the way she speaks and looks to audience and students as well as her physical appearance. She thanks us for coming here and asks if we could be so kind and vote for best designer of the show. There is some students from first and second grade that are handing out voting panels and we give our votes, I just have to wait a bit to see which number to vote. Designers get large signs that have numbers and they walk around the runway with models and show their numbers. I can see how they are chatting together, holding hands and when they come back to our table Alexa says something to her friend and she looks me and then turns back to Alexa. They giggle a bit and Alexa's friend nods approvingly to her, or that is the feeling I get from them. Number 24, her designs made Alexa look so pretty, stunning and I place my vote for her.

"Now I get it, I was wondering why you seem so familiar but here has been so any events that I have lost count to who I have met and where. I was going to ask are you single and planning to mix you with a lovely young woman but now I know that you two have met. You are the man that danced with Erica on Tuesdays event!" Woman next to me says and I turn my focus back to her. "Yes, we were sitting at same table and she is truly a nice woman." Lady next to me smiles and extends her right hand. "I'm Juliet Andrews and my husband Jim is a candidate of Milwaukee. His opponent is James Matthews, Erica's father." I shake her hand "I'm Tobias Eaton, I'm acting representative for Chicago.". She smiles "And I take it that you are single and even might be interested in meeting someone special." she says and I'm not sure what to answer. She looks bit questioning to me and then I nod. "I must say that I'm interested but at same time I'm bit scared. Last time I fell for someone we had just a short time together before she died."

Obviously she wasn't waiting that kind of answer but then she smiles comforting "My first husband died in a accident just a month after we were married and it took a long time for me to heal from it. Then Jim came and just... I couldn't resist him. I hope this is same to you, just make it to be a beginning of something, something beautiful." she continues and I look to her questioning. "I saw how she looked to you and how you looked to her, there is something that reminds me of that day when I met Jim at the first time." I turn to look to Alexa again, they are heading away and at last steps she turns a bit and I could say that she looks where I'm seated. I smile and then look back to Juliet. She smiles approvingly and nods. "I arrange that you two have some time together, I know that James is quite hard on her and trying to keep her for himself but I want her to live and have fun. She is so young and James needs to let her go." I couldn't agree more on that!

"Tell me more about yourself and how is living in Milwaukee?" I ask when they start dinner service and she starts talking about her gardening hobby. Food is good, it's from hotel and restaurant school next to the Museum, made by it's students as a final exam. Younger students serve it, introducing every bit and piece carefully. They have really thought the whole meal and it's light, tasty and offers good combinations. I keep a small chat with Juliet going on and just before they serve the dessert she takes her purse and gets a photo from there. She shows it to me "I'm showing this to everyone, this is our daughter, she is five and half years old now." I smile when I look the photo, Kiara looks so much about Tris in that one, hanging upside down from a tree and smiling so it's clear that some of her front teeth are missing, it's that age. There is clearly something about Tris spirit strongly in her, radiating from the picture. I have no doubts that Tris is really her mother. "Oh, she is pretty one! You are lucky to be her mother." There is some sadness in her eyes when she explains. "No, I'm just a foster mother, not a biological one. We couldn't get any of our own and thought about adoption but before that James asked if we could offer a home to Kiara. Obviously Jim had talked with James about our longing for a child and then there she was, perfect almost newborn baby, all pink and soft and... perfect.". I smile "I think you all have been really lucky, not everyone gets a warm loving home when they grow up and I'm certain that you are offering one for her. I really appreciate the hard work you are doing. But just out from interest, I hope this doesn't offend you but I have to ask: do you know anything about her biological parents?"

She puts the photo away and sighs. "No, I have my doubts but nothing sure. As I told to you, it was James Matthews that organized hole fostering thing. There was something that went wrong with the adoption process with the parents that were intended at first, at the last minute they found out that there were something illegal, something dodgyness in their past and they weren't suitable for adoption parents after all." She looks around and lowers her voice. "But deep inside I'm quite sure that she is Erica's daughter, she had those few wild years. She fleet away from home, had a boyfriend that wasn't the best company for her and stuff like that. And I understand that perfectly, James can be quite hard sometimes, he demands a lot. He demanded from both of his children and when his son died during the war his focus shifted to his daughter fully, now she has to be them both. And then Erica lost her mother, she had some sort of sickness and they discovered it way too late and couldn't do anything. Then James lost her sister and he said that he needs to keep Erica safe or he will be losing her too."

I nod, the story that she is telling is quite similar than what Alexa has told to me. One thing just raises questions. "How do you know mr Matthews so well?". There is something behind of this that I don't know. She smiles. "I grew up with him, he is my cousin, our mothers were sisters. He is three years older than me and Jeanine, but I liked him better than his sister, may she rest in peace. After the war, at the first chance I got, I moved away, to Milwaukee, I wanted to get rid of Chicago and memories I had about my first husband, to have a new, fresh start. He followed few months later with Erica. I have been her godmother and so she is godmother to our daughter, even I really think that she is more of mother to her. I'm too old, I'm more like a granny or something." I look to Juliet, she is older, that cannot be denied but she surely doesn't look like she could be a granny.

They serve us the desert, some chocolate cake and fresh berries with really strong coffee. More and more what I talk with Juliet I remember Caleb's words and I'm wondering how this all will affect to her, when she hears who are her daughters biological parents. I feel deep in my heart that it will break her when she looses Kiara and I feel sorry for her. At same time I understand Caleb's reactions better. There isn't an easy way out from this, someone will be hurt. Also Kiara is much older than Beata, there will be reactions from her and some of those might not be positive, she is used to see Juliet and Jim as her parents.

Dinner ends and they ask us to look around, there is an exhibition where they are showing of those clothes that were on fashion show and we have an opportunity to meet and greet with designers. There is also exhibition about other designs that they do in this school and then there is that museum side also. They will announce the winner of the fashion show in an hour and after that is some dancing but now we need to go so they have time to clear the floor for dancing. Juliet raises and so do I. "Have you been here before?" She asks and I have to shake my head. "Then we need a guide and there she comes." Juliet smiles when the girls walk to us, Alexa and her designer friend. Juliet hugs Alexa and then formally introduces us. I see smile in Alexa's eyes, she haven't looked prettier ever. This is going to be a wonderful evening!


	36. Caleb pov 17

\- Caleb's pov-

In some way I do understand why Four got so upset. I figure out that to rumors about his fathers abusive nature were true, Four wouldn't have acted like he did if they were just rumors. And then I remember how Beatrice hated Marcus, showed in every way you can imagine. It had showed in how she had looked to him and how she had avoided him, had spoked to him only if it had been necessary and had used short sentences. She had known the truth, of course he had told to her. For a short moment I pity over Four, his childhood had been rough as well as his teenage and early adulthood. He would have deserved something better, something better than this. How he had survived after so much pain, loosing so much?

He is talking something about DNA-testing. I cannot promise anything, I have to talk with Cara first. Of course if there is reliable data stating that he surely is the biological father then I cannot deny the testing. When he falls in silence I apologize for what I said earlier and make a promise that he might get that DNA-test, if there is enough evidence that it needs to be done. We agree on that, shake hands and finish our lunches. When we walk back to government buildings he suddenly asks when he gets to see Beata. I wasn't expecting that question, even it's logical that he wants to see her. I promise that when we are back in Chicago he could come to see us. In my mind I just think that I have to speak with Cara first and if we could get to talk wit Matthew and see those Bureaus documents first.

We get to do those last interviews, then the photo shoot. I have never been a huge fan of standing in front of camera but I'm getting used to it. Four teases me being a stiff, not wanting to put myself on the pedestal but he has the same backgrounds and he seems to be okay with this photo shoot. He's getting some advantage from being Johanna's right hand all these years, he is more used to this too. He handles publicity better, seems more relaxed. I still think that Cara would do this better but it's not her that is candidate for government. When we get from the photo shoot I check what time it is and get little shocked, I need to hurry up. Luckily I get a taxi and get to hotel in decent time. I try to call to Cara on my way to hotel just to ask if she is feeling well and is she going to that dinner event with me. Phone just rings and rings, there is no answer. At first I think that she is just putting makeup and changing clothes but when she doesn't answer to third call I'm getting little nervous. I just hope everything is fine with her!

I'm not prepared what I'm seeing when I get to hotel room. Cara is there, sitting on sofa, in full makeup and wearing a evening dress, ready to go to dinner. On armchair, next to sofa is a man sitting. They both look up when I get in there and Cara smiles soothingly. "Hello darling! This man here is James Matthew's and James, this man that just rushed in is my husband, Caleb Prior." She introduces us, even it's not needed. I know very well James Matthews, just wonder what on earth is he doing here, in our hotel room, talking with my wife. Shouldn't he be at his hotel room or his apartment or where ever he is staying and getting ready for the dinner? James stands up and we shake hands. "I just had few things I wanted to hear from your lovely wife but now I'm not going to take any more off your time, aren't you going to dinner tonight?" I look from James to Cara and back. Cara smiles and seems relaxed, everything seems to be just fine, nothing to worry in here. I nod "Yes, we are going, I just change my clothes and we must be leaving in fifteen minutes or so. Aren't you coming to dinner?" James shakes his head regretfully. "I was hoping that I could join to your company but unfortunately I have some matters that needs my immediate attention so I have excused myself and I really must leave you now. Hopefully I will see you tomorrow evening and we get a chance to chat more then?". I smile politely to him "If you are coming to dinner tomorrow then we will.". James turns to Cara, embraces her and kisses her cheeks and says "It's always a pleasure to talk with you, and you do look prettier every time I see you. You do look just like your mother when she was at your age. Please, say to Dara my best regards when you talk with her.". Then he turns to me and nods "Mr Prior". I nod back "Mr Matthews" and he leaves.

When the door shuts I just look to Cara who looks to me questioning. "Don't you need to hurry up?" she asks finally and I just try to get words out of my mouth. "What did James Matthews want from you?" I manage to ask finally and she just smiles. "He just checked some details from me, he is going to scold Matthew this evening and he needed some facts before that. You know, James is one of biggest financiers behind the Bureaus research. And that is a secret, he don't want to be open about his participation on Bureaus work but it seems that he is considering to take over the Bureau, displace Matthew from his CEO seat because of his actions. I have a feeling that my mother has called to James and complained... They have an emergency meeting in Chicago at tomorrow morning and James is headed to there and then back to here, his daughter is the favorite to win the Marathon on Saturday so he must be back to see that and to be in finishing line to congratulate her when she wins, his perfect daughter." There is some odd bitterness in her voice in the end and I bite my lip. There is something in this puzzle that doesn't fit in right places.

"And from where you mother knows James Matthews?" I must ask and Cara looks surprised. "Oh, haven't I told? He is about the same age than my father was and they went to school together, were best buddies or something like that. And when my father met my mother he was introduced to her too. So he has been my mothers friend for years and she has worked for him, well, before he moved to Milwaukee. And I know that they have kept in touch after that too, there was a time when I was thinking that they had an affair but it wasn't so, or so I think, I have never dared to ask from mother, it's not my business anyways." I just stare to her, there are puzzle pieces falling together, peaces that had been missing even I haven't noted it before.

Dara has never told that she knew James Matthews and apparently his sister, his late wife, his children. It makes sense, they were Erudite's, they must have known each other. Nor has Cara told. She too must have known Eric and Erica. At least she is same age than Eric was, they had went to school together, that's sure, so she must have known his little sister too. That explains some of her reactions that she had when she saw Erica as my apprentice. She knows something about Erica that I didn't know, something had happened in their past that explained why Cara hated Erica, or so it had seemed. There had happened something between those two and she still carried some hatred towards Erica. I knew that Cara could be really unforgiving in some matters. What could it be? I had never asked, I have never even thought about it that of course they had known each others. There seems to be a lot of things that I haven't thought before.

I go to toilet to shave and Cara comes to stand in the doorway so we can talk. "I saw Four today" I say. She smiles a bit "I know, you had some interviews with him, didn't you?". I look to her from the mirror "Yes and a photo shoot. But that wasn't the point. The point is that we had a lunch together." Cara looks to me, questioning "That doesn't explain much." She says when I concentrate shaving my chin. I rinse the razor, take a towel and pat my face dry, then turn to her. "He wants Beata." I say and Cara nods. "I was waiting for that, waiting when he wants to claim his rights over her. What did you say to him?". I little astonished, she had thought about that but never spoken to me about this. "I said that he can come to us, to see Beata and when we get the documents from the Bureau, get the confirmation about what DNA they had used, then, if he is the biological father, then he can have the DNA tests and after those..." I look away and feel a lump in my throat. I sigh. "After those I think there is nothing we can do if he wants her to himself. And I bet that he will." Cara nods and turns away. I can see how her shoulders shudder and I go to her, embrace her from behind, place my hands over her stomach, kiss her neck. Her voice breaks when she whispers "I just hope, for Allen's sake, that she won't be completely lost. After all, she is at least his cousin and they... Allen loves his sister so much and she loves, adores Allen. This will break their hearts."

"Shh, Cara, this will break my heart too and I know it hurts you more. You are more than an aunt for her, you have carried her in your womb, you have given birth to her, without you she wouldn't be alive, she would be just an frozen embryo in some deep freeze tank. I'm sure that we can get some agreement, Four can be reasonable, he has too much to loose in this too." It takes a while before she nods. "Shouldn't we be going?" She asks and I change my clothes in hurry. Lucky for us we get a taxi immediately when we step out from the hotel and the museum isn't far away. We get seated in time and we weren't the last ones to arrive. I see when Four comes with Zeke and they are seated to table next to us, Tobias next to Juliet. That might get interesting! Then the show begins and I hide my yawn. Yes, this is a design school and they design clothes as well as many other things too and of course they are using this event to advertise their work and their school and how good their students are but really I'm not so interested in fashion. I applause when others do so, I look to Cara's reactions and just think about today's conversations. There is so much going on, election is in minor role between everything else. So much is going on in our lives now, all happening at same time.

When the fashion show ends we finally get the dinner. Food is tasty, prepared with care and I really enjoy it. We have some small talk in our table and from time to time I look around. Four is having a conversation with Juliet and I feel sorry for her. She too is going to loose her child to him, sooner or later and she is such a sweet lady, doesn't deserve being treated in that way. When the dinner ends they want us to go around, see their premises before the dancing begins but Cara is yawning so this is a good time for us to leave, I think that there is nothing for us. We get a taxi and back to hotel in no time. Cara doesn't hesitate to change her clothes to nightwear and going to toilet. She comes back with clean face, looking younger without makeup. Little dark circles under her eyes, haven't she slept enough? I take a quick shower and change to PJ's, then get to bed with Cara, placing an alarm to my phone for next morning. We are having that doctor appointment early in the morning. Cara looks what I'm doing and yawns. "I just hope that we will get good news on tomorrow mornings ultrasound. I really hope that there is at least that one heartbeat still going on, two would be little too much, I think." I give her a little kiss and answer "Would there be one or two I think we can handle it and we will get any help that you want, you don't have to do everything by yourself. I will help you with everything that I can and Allen sure is older and has experience about being a big brother, so he will help. Besides, he will start at preschool soon and so you don't have to take care of him on daytime."

Cara snuggles little closer and turns her back to me. "Just hold me, please. It helps me to sleep, feeling that you are here. In some way it takes the nausea away too, your hand over my stomach I mean." I do as she wishes, smelling her hair, feeling her warmth, her steady heartbeat, slowing breathing. I have too much in my mind to fall asleep immediately, it takes time. I wonder what will happen in next months, in next weeks. There is so much that I haven't thought, connections between the people that I haven't known but that are just logical. I wonder how well I really do know my wife, apparently there is much in her past that I don't know. Finally I fall asleep but morning comes too early.

Cara is feeling really sick in morning, she doesn't want any breakfast so I go alone to get something to eat. I also get something for Cara, an apple, a croissant and a bottle of water. She looks really pale and bit green when we head to hospital and first thing is going to blood samples. She gets in laboratory almost immediately and after few minutes comes out. "Ouch. Lucky for me that I didn't eat anything for breakfast, I just threw up to trashcan. Did you have that water?" I hand the bottle to her and she sips little bit cautiously and then sighs. "I just hope that there is someone still alive in my womb or else this nausea is useless. I could handle this much better if I knew that there is a baby coming." I smile a bit, not sure what she wants me to say and we head to maternity ward. There is more some hustle going on, lots of pregnant women waiting and nurses going with speed. One man stands up and offers a seat to Cara. "Just, please, sit down, they are about a half hour late already and the day have just started."

Cara sits down and then I note the looks. Apparently some of others have read the papers and they seem to know us, some of other patients couldn't care less. I give the apple to Cara, then the croissant. It's over 50 minutes pass our scheduled time when the nurse calls Cara's name. I assume that we are going to see the doctor now but it's just nurses check. She weights Cara, measures the blood pressure and gives a cup and asks if she could leave an urine sample. Then she dismisses us back to waiting room, says that doctor will see us as soon as possible. How long will that take, no one knows. There is now few seats more available so we get seated down. Cara rests her head against to my shoulder and even it starts to feel little uncomfortable after time I don't complain. It seem to take ages before Cara gets called to doctors room.

"At first I apologize that we are late in our schedule. But how have you been mrs Prior?" Doctor says and points Cara to be seated to examination tables edge. "I have been sleepy and the nausea is coming back I think. And I'm scared in what we will see in the ultrasound." Doctor smiles soothingly. "Well, let's not wait then, lay down and lift your shirt please." Cara doesn't hesitate. "Has there been any bleeding?" Doctor asks when he readies his equipment and Cara shakes her head "Just little on Wednesday evening and nothing yesterday.". Doctor nods "That's good. Now let's see... there were last time one embryo that had a heartbeat, right?" Cara is looking to monitor so intently that she doesn't answer. "Yes, one with a heartbeat and other one that didn't have." I answer. "But your hormone levels have doubled as they should do in 36 hours and they are way too high for just one embryo so I think that we might be having good news" Doctor says and Cara turns to look me for a brief time, then looks back to monitor. "There is the first one, I think that this is the one that had a heartbeat on Wednesday and this one seems to have grown and as you can see, steady heartbeat still going on. And where was the other one..."


	37. Four pov 18

**an:** thanks for comment's and PM:s, they are always welcomed! And feel free to comment more or send a PM. This chapter was partly a tricky one to write, there might be some errors and some that you may disagree - feel free to comment!

oOoOoOoOoO

\- Four's pov -

Alexa laughs and then asks seemingly innocently from Juliet "Didn't my father warn you about this man, auntie?". Juliet smiles and I see from the twinkle in her eyes that indeed James has told something about me to her. "Well, if he did, I have totally forgotten anything about it. Nope, no recollection about it. Besides, you deserve some happiness and he isn't here so I will close my eyes and you two have this evening together. But don't go anywhere from here, you must stay in these premises and... don't do anything that ends up in news. If your father doesn't know it wont hurt him and all he can do, if he somehow hears from somewhere that you two have been together, is to blame me. I'm forgetting my duties and this will be the absolutely last time when he trusts that I can be your guardian. Again, if you remember." Alexa has tried to hold back her giggles when Julia has explained but now they both laugh from heart. This seems to be a common joke between those two and apparently this isn't the first time when something like this is happening. I'm glad that Juliet is giving us this opportunity and more than glad that Alexa has her kind of woman in her life, someone that is holding up her rights, giving her some free time.

Then Alexa turns to me and seemingly is trying to hold back her laughter. "First I just introduce my good friend, my sister in crime, Ania. This is Four, the man that I spoke to you." She winks her eye to me and Ania shakes my hand. "So, tell me, why you have a number as a name?" Ania asks and she's not the first one to ask that question. These are the times when it's easier to use my real name, I'm not with Dauntless anymore and these people don't know to what my name refers to."It's a long story, my name is really Tobias." I say and she looks me from head to toe and then whispers loudly to Alexa. "He surely is a dish. Where do you find these men?". Alexa just laughs, shakes her head and then takes my hand. "See you tomorrow at fun fair Ania and Juliet... thanks!".

When we walk away I hear a whistle from behind and Alexa mutters "Don't turn and look, it's just Ania, she's expecting for you to look. She can be quite pain in ass sometimes but she's a good friend too.". I look to Alexa and smile "you two look a lot alike". She nods. "We met at high school, just when I got back to Chicago. She was a year younger than I was and we got mixed at first. That was really confusing, her friends came to talk with me, thinking that I was Ania. Then finally I met her and it was like we had been long lost sisters, like she was my missing twin or something like that. That was totally weird but fun. And when I started to go out with Mat, my boyfriend back then, he mixed us few times. At least once Ania had slapped him when he had tried to kiss her, thinking that it was me." I smile to her. "And she is the one that is helping you tomorrow, with your plan?" I ask and she nods. "She is always willing to help me and vice versa, that's why I'm here today, modeling."

We walk up to first floor, not so much people in there. We walk around and then find a door that leads to a large balcony. Alexa opens the door and we go out. It's quite warm evening but I offer my coat to her, in case she needs it. She takes it and places to her shoulders, leaving sleeves hanging down and buttons unbuttoned. She smiles "Thank you, Four." I smile back to her. "Please, call me Tobias.". She blushes a bit and whispers "Tobias...". Her voice is soft and hearing my name from her sounds really good, better than good. We stand close to each other, I can sense her with my every cell.

"You look really beautiful tonight and your chaperone... what she is... well, Juliet, she is amazing. I hope she won't get in trouble when doing this." She looks to me, smile playing on her lips. "Juliet is truly amazing, I call her auntie, she's not actually my aunt but she is closer to me than my real aunt Jeanine ever was. And she can handle my father, she won't get in trouble, she never does. I might get to pay for this if he finds out what we have done but she doesn't.". I pull her even closer to me, she fits there so perfectly. "And your plans for tomorrow are still the same?" I ask and she hesitates a while and then nods. "Have you thought what it does to Juliet when you take her daughter away? Or have you told to her that you will take Kiara somewhere else than to that fun fair?". She bites her lip, hesitates a while, then shakes her head "I must admit that I changed the plans a bit. My father expects that I will run that marathon on Saturday and there is no way that I can escape that. I will take Kiara to fun fair tomorrow as promised and after that Ania will take care of her on Friday evening and Saturday, I will get her from there when I have recovered from the run and then we disappear. Juliet asked if I could babysit Kiara for this weekend, her father-in-law had a heart attack last Friday and they called last night that he won't make it. Jim, her husband, went there this morning to be by his side when he dies and Juliet is following him, she will be leaving in two hours."

"Oh, she didn't mention anything about that when we talked at dinner table, but she mentioned that your father couldn't attend to dinner because he had some sort of injury?". Not that I want details, I just want to be sure that he won't interrupt our evening. "No, did Juliet say something like that? That was just an excuse, he had to go to Chicago, there was some problems, an emergency meeting on tomorrow morning or something like that. And thank God that he took his bulldogs with him, I cannot breath when those two guys are hanging around as a bodyguards. They are more like prison guards, guarding me, not my safety." I place my hands on her lower back and then I remember the markings that she showed yesterday. "How is your back?". She smiles bitterly and looks away. "Much better, I have a potion that helps the healing, fastens it a bit. They are almost invisible and father knows where and when he can hit, how hard to hit, what sort of marks he can leave." I remember that far too well, so had my father knew. She pulls away from my arms and walks to railing, looks to city lights.

"This is one of my favorite cities." She says after a while and I walk to stand by her. If I look to horizon it's not so bad, I think. Definitely I don't want to look down. She turns to me and has a mysterious look on her face. "Tell me." She says with a smile and I look to her questioning. "What do you want to know?". She shrugs and giggles a bit. "Anything, something...". I smile a bit. "I guess that you know me too well already, there isn't anything to tell, but you, you are a mystery for me.". She giggles again, it sounds really sweet. "I bet you never saw me. I mean you never really looked to me and saw me. I was just some annoying giggly and blushing little girl, Eric's little sister. I saw you, I was looking to you when you didn't notice me. Eric teased me for that, said that I'm hopeless. He knew that I had a major crush to you." I find it kind of funny and well, kind of annoying at same time. Eric never had said anything to me about his sister, maybe it had been a sore spot for him too. I bet that if she would have been any other girl than his sister he would have teased me about being so stiff.

I smile to her, touch her cheek softly with finger. "You are wrong in that, I do remember seeing you. You truly were hopeless, little annoying even sometimes, wide eyed and blushing, long legs and arms and not sure where to place them, ponytail and braces. I saw you but you were just a little girl back then, Eric's kid sister. I saw you hanging with your brother, trying to impress everyone, seeking attention, a little kid playing grown ups games. Eric was surprisingly patient with you, if you had been my little sister...". She looks little hurt. "I was 12 years old, I'm only 4 years younger than you, well, almost 5 years younger. I wasn't a kid, I was growing up, fast, too fast and the war sped up things even more." I sigh. "I didn't mean it like that, but... You see, I first didn't even recognize you, you seemed somehow familiar but it had been over 10 years since I last saw you and now you are a woman, back then you were just a...teenager and you must admit that there is a great difference between what you were back then and what you are now."

We stand there silent, looking the lights and then I place my hand on her shoulder, pull her little closer to me and she turns to look to me. "I was really shy back then, insecure, lost, hurt and bruised inside. I was hiding and running away, changing my life to better, growing to manhood. I was afraid that they would find out who I was, who my father was. And I was afraid that they would find out what I was, my father had knew it and I feared that it was showing miles away. I thought that I was some sort of freak, like your aunt told to everyone." She looks to me when I speak, then she looks away. "You are a divergent." She says and continues "I have wondered, if they would have done aptitude test to me, what it would have showed."

I wait her to continue and it takes rather long time. "I have thought about it, I have had doubts when I have grown. But I'm not sure. I know that SIMs don't affect to me like they should, I know that serums doesn't work like planned to me. I have hard time to sleep sometimes, most of times." I nod, I know what she is talking about. "Eric promised that he would be the one to do my aptitude test and he would put any faction for result that I would choose. He told me all about the test, the choices and what would be the result after each one, what I should choose to get the faction I wanted. I think that he knew, suspected at least that there was something wrong in me. I wasn't like other girls back in erudite. I never fitted in." I know very well how she had felt, it had been same to me. "Didn't you know that your brother worked for Jeanine, he hunted down the divergents, he was afraid of them, of us. He wanted to kill me and Tris.". There is sadness in her eyes. "He would have protected me, even he always said that it's facton before blood. He would have protected me from my aunt, he protected me from my father too. He wanted to keep me in safe. I know it's hard for you to believe in but there was a soft spot in his mind and I was it. He might have showed to be really hard, unforgiving, brutal, even sadistic but at same time... he took care of me. He stood at my side, always and deep down he too was the same that what you said that you were. Insecure, unsure, shy even. He had tough outer surface and living with dauntless made him harder, having orders given from Jeanine and Max made him more vicious. But to me he was always a loving and caring older brother. When he visited to Jeanine he searched for me, had time to talk with me. He had that heavenly dauntless chocolate cake reserved for me when I visited at his place, even he didn't like so much about it, he knew I loved it. No one ever dared to bully me, it was enough that he visited at our school, once. He was the best brother that I could have had but I know that he wasn't your best friend." I almost laugh to that, really, Eric had been my biggest competition, if not my enemy, never ever we had been friends. We had just barely tolerated each others, worked together but he had been picking me, all the time, looking after if I made any mistakes and reporting those to Max. He had been seeking power, he had been violent, abusive, used his leadership to his own advantages. He had been a predator hunting down the divergents.

I caress her shoulders, they are tense and she smiles to me. "I know, it's pointless to speculate what could have happened." she says and shrugs. "I don't know what faction I would have chosen, maybe I would have followed Eric, being dauntless could have been nice. Or then I would have stayed at erudite's, because if I had transferred my only option would have been to go to dauntless. That would have meant that I would had met you again, I would have been your initiative and it would have been really hard for me. Eric would have given me hard time and then there was your girlfriend. It would have been hard for me, especially because of Tris." She blushes and then looks away. I turn her head back, make her to look up to me. I think that it's just good, her being so honest and open to me.

"I think that I would have been a hard instructor to your, if you had been my initiative. You would have hated me." I say with a broad smile and she smiles, knowing that what I say is true, I would have given her hard time, same as to all initiatives, maybe a bit harder to her, because of her brother. "I would have done the best that I could and more, just for yours and for Eric's sake. And I'm sure that I would have not hated you, it would have been someone else that I had hated." She emphasizes the last words so I know who she would have hated. I feel a short struck of... what? Pain, pity, anger, sorrow, hate... all mixed up. But at same time I understand it well, why she would have had hard time to cope with Tris. It's kind of hard to imagine how it all would have been, if it would have happened. Surely it would have been hard for all of us, for me, Tris, Eric and for herself. She must see what I'm thinking and she shakes her head. "Tobias, it's not so black and white, not every time. And thinking about these what ifs is quite pointless. That was just me speculating what could have happened and things went differently. Back then you were my first crush and when I saw you with her I knew that I didn't have any chances. It kind of broke some illusion that I had, it broke the dream, made you seem less desirable and it made me hate. Not you, never I have hated you because of her but I hated her, because of you. It felt kind of she had taken you away from me, even you never was mine. Surely you must admit that if you would have seen her deeply in love with some other man it would have hurt you badly." I have to nod.

I pull her little closer again. "I might not have noticed you back then,in the way you wanted my attention. I might not have wanted you but... now it's different. As you said, it's pointless to speculate these what ifs, if everything had gone in different way. If they had, we wouldn't be standing here, together. I must be honest to you, Tris was biggest love of my life, she still is, but there is something in you that I'm incapable to ignore. You have some sort of charm in you that makes me feel... well, you raise feelings that I haven't felt in long time. If you give me time, understanding..." She smiles to me, seemingly relieved and before I know I kiss her. I was intending that to be a quick kiss but she puts her hands on back of my head and the kiss deepens, lengthens. It feels nice, makes me want more, as always. There is some magnetism in her that pulls me closer "I don't want to rush in anything, I'm not so head over heels to you, not anymore, but.." She mutters and then kisses me quickly before she continues "... but I hope that I have a chance, this time. That we could be at least friends. We could see each other, be together.". I kiss her "I hope that too but I cannot promise that I want to be just friends with you, there is something in you that makes me want more than just friendship but it has to wait, you have to wait. I'm not ready yet, I have so much going on right now in my life." I reply. I don't want to start a relationship in haste, I don't want to haste anything that is growing between us two. I must say that I really like to be here, having her in my arms, kissing her. But this is enough, now. Then I remember what she said about her father going away, would it have something to do with the Bureau? And more important question comes to my mind.

"When will your father be back?" She giggles. "I was waiting for you to ask that. I guess that he will be back here not before the evening, maybe he manages to get to dinner party then. Is there something that you want to talk with him? Ask something from him? Do you need a permission to date me?" She teases me and I feel shivers down in my spine. It would be a nightmare, have to ask a permission to date her and I'm sure that her father would never give one. Not to me at least. I kiss her and then shake my head. "No, I have something much better in my mind. Can I take you and Kiara to fun fair tomorrow?" She smiles seemingly delightfully and nods "I thought that you won't ever ask!". A broad smile comes to my face "Where I can pick you two?". She thinks a while. "What if we meet at main entrance, Ania and Sara, her daughter that is little older than Kiara, are meeting us there at 10.45 am so if you can come at same time... I have two family tickets, they cover the entrance fee and all the rides so just be there in time and if you want, you can bring your friend with you too." I think that would be fun, if Zeke wants to come, after all it's his last day in Providence. "Just don't give any ideas to Ania, my friend has a girlfriend back in Chicago."

She nods and then looks to doorway. I note that Ania is standing there, waving to us. "Alexa, hurry up, they need us on stage in five minutes!". Alexa laughs and is going but I don't let her. "Hey, one last kiss, then you can go, not before." I whisper and kiss her. Alexa is giggling when she returns my coat to me and rushes to meet Ania. I follow them and she looks from me to Alexa and smiles broadly "Was I interrupting something important?". Alexa blushes and turns to look to me. "Nothing that important that cannot wait." Ania smiles "That's... good? Promising at least. It's time for you to enjoy your life too.". If it's possible the red color on her cheeks deepens more. "Come on Ania, you said that we must hurry up" she says and pulls Ania away from me. I follow them to downstairs, they head to backstage and I go to main hall that is turned more suitable for dancing. The runway has been taken away as well as the dinner tables. I look around, there is less people that was when we had the dinner, some of guests have left already and I cannot find Juliet anywhere. She too must have left.

I walk close to stage, there are waiters and waitresses serving champagne and I take a glass from a tray. The waiter stares me intensively. "You, stay away from her. Leave her alone now. She is mine.". I have absolutely no idea who he is and this is not a right time to ask, main lights dim out and spotlights are lighten up. Principal comes to stage and people applause to her. From corner of my eye I can see how the waiter turns and walks away, limping when he goes. Then it hits to me who he must be. What is Mat, Alexa's old boyfriend from high school, doing in here?


	38. Caleb's pov 18

\- Caleb's pov-

I hold Cara's hand when doctor does the exam, Cara squeezes hard back. I don't complain, it's kind of nerve wrecking to wait the results. "...And where was the other one...". Then I see it, as well as others. The other embryo, little like a comma inside of big dark balloon. And there is no heartbeat, no twinkling like the first one had. "So here it is and I'm sorry to say but there is no heartbeat in this one, as you can well see. So there is one embryo alive and this one will vanish or bleed out in time.". I see how Cara bites her lip, her shoulders shake a little and then she nods. Doctor finishes the exam and then looks to us. "So, you are going back to Chicago, right?" and when we nod in unison he continues "Then get a doctors appointment in there, no need to rush if there isn't any bleeding. If there is and it's not heavy then you can stay at home but if it's heavy, then go to hospital. If you pass out, then you should go for checking. In other ways this is just a normal single pregnancy after a bumpy start, so congratulations and all the best for you two." He shakes our hands and leaves, nurse hands some tissue for Cara. I feel bad for her but relieved at same time. One child more is enough, twins would have been a handful for both of us.

Cara calms down quickly and sits up, looks to me with touch of sadness in her eyes but a smile in her lips. "Do you wish for a boy or for a girl?" She asks and laces her fingers to my hair, pulls me closer and kisses me. I taste tears in her kiss and feel so sorry for her, for us. "I just wish that you would be happy." I answer, that's the truth. She lets her hands down and I can see a blink of disappointment in her eyes and then she smiles again. "Could I now have some breakfast, there was that nice cafeteria nearby?". Nurse looks up from her computer screen and smiles, nods. "Yes, everything is now finished so feel free to go and all the best for the pregnancy". We thank her and leave and just like Cara said, there is that cafeteria nearby.

It's quiet here at cafeteria, breakfast time is over and lunch haven't begun yet, so here is quite few customers. I take coffee, Cara chooses freshly squeezed orange juice and then we select a lot of pancakes, you can never go wrong with those, I think. We don't talk much until the biggest hunger has gone, then I look to Cara. "Are you disappointed?". She smiles a bit and then sighs. "I'm not, but... I am. I was so thinking that we will have twins and it takes time for me to adjust to idea that there will be only one but that is more than loosing them all." I nod, I can see that it takes time for her to adjust to idea. I'm not going to say that I'm relieved, I bet that she can see it without saying and I don't want to hurt her more.

When we are finished we walk out and Cara looks to me. "What are we going to do now? What was todays program?" I look to her "Shouldn't you be taking it easy? Resting this day too?". She shakes her head. "Caleb, I'm not sick, I'm just pregnant and I'm totally capable to do something.". I take the time tablet from my pocket and look to it. "Well, there is an open day in museums and then there is some action going on at the theater and ballet. Then there is the opening at fun fair today and also lot's of stuff happening at market square, next to fun fair." Cara smiles "I know what I want to do! Let's go to fun fair, that sounds... you know... fun!". Well, that's not something that I would choose but if it makes her happy. Actually I have never been at fun fair, this is first time for me.

When we reach the fun fair area there is a lot of colorful lights and noises; loud music, short shrieks and giggles. It smells like fast food, popcorn, cotton candy. Cara's eyes twinkle when she looks around and then she points to a tent that has a sign in front of it. It's not so colorfull than the other booths and tents are and the sign is just a simple black text on white; Fortuneteller. I know it's just bunch of guesses and hint of tricks and she knows too but just to make her happy we go there. "Are you sure? You want to know?" I ask and Cara nods. "It won't harm you, just a bit of fun". There is a young woman standing in front of the tent, she shows a price list and we look the list. "I think that 20 minutes is enough, or what do you say?" I say to Cara and she nods. I hand few bucks to her and she raises the curtain covering the entrance.

The tent is quite dark inside, only three lamps in the middle of the tent. There is an old lady sitting in the middle of the room by a round table, there is two chairs opposite to her. I hear Cara suppressing a bunch of giggles and I feel the same. This is so ridiculous! "Please sit down. Do you have some specific questions in your mind?" she says and points to chairs. "No, just tell to us something, what is going to happen in... lets say in next five years." Cara says when she sits down and the fortuneteller looks to her. "Please, give me your right hand." she says and Cara little hesitates before extending her hand. "Hmmmm... Ah-a!" fortuneteller says after a minute or two and then looks to me "And then your right hand please.". She looks that for a long time without saying anything, then looks to me straight in my eyes. "I see." She finally says and continues with a knowing smile "And then could you give your left hands, both of you, please." We extend our hands and she nods "as I thought.". She leans back and smile plays in her lips.

"So there is some big changes coming up in your life, you are going to move, change a job in near future." I look to Cara, she is listening with her mouth little open and she nods but I'm little skeptic. Then the fortuneteller looks to me "You, my friend, you have had big losses in your life and you feel like they had been at least partly your fault. You are shielding your heart, trying to hold back so you won't get hurt anymore but there will be at least one big loss still coming up but at same time it will be a victory. Be prepared to that one and afterwards you will have a easier life. And you will get a job that is meaningful but it might not be the job you would want in first place." Oh, she must have recognized me or some of her co-workers did a fantastic job and is feeding information to her. I bet they have a camera or two in this tent and they have scanned our identities and every bit of gossips that they could possibly have found and are telling those straight to fortunetellers earpiece.

Then she looks to Cara "And you have to trust in your instincts, you know better, you are a mother and mother knows these things better. You will be a mother again but be very careful on who you trust, where you go, what you eat, there is lots of risks around you. You have been at home now few years but haven't enjoyed it so much and felt guilty over it. In few weeks you will get an offer that will change your life completely, take that and you won't regret. You will find a way to combine your work and kids." She smiles, looks down for a moment then back to us. "And you two... you are stronger when you are together. You have had hard times in your marriage, a big argument but it's over and through, you both have learned some important lessons and it's time to look forward. The wedding ring that this man seems to have lost is back at home, in living rooms drawer, on the top left hand side of locker. You two must seek some hel, some counseling wouldn't hurt you two." She looks to Cara and smiles a bit "And he has indeed already forgiven to you but be prepared; the same man that has tried to break your marriage will try it again. He too wants you.". She must see that I'm surprised when her smile deepens and she winks her eye and whispers loudly to me, looking deep in my eyes knowing what I'm thinking "There is no earpiece, no assistants.". I raise my eyebrows. How could she known this all? Her eyes twinkle when she claps her hands and says "Now, your time is up so please kiss your wife and off you go, have a nice day and be prepared for a surprise later on!". I obey and kiss Cara who seems as stunned as I feel.

We somehow get out from the tent, legs little wobbly and stunned. "That was... how did she know?" Cara says and I shrug. "I'm not sure, most of their fortunetelling is some sort of guessing I think, waiting for you to give hints, not saying much but enough so you can think that she said something important and she really knows something about your future. I bet that she recognized us and remembered some rumors and maybe she had some assistance too, even she denied it, just to make an impression about knowing everything." Cara nods. "You know, I haven't never believed in mentalism or fortunetelling but that surely was impressing!"

We walk around, just look on everything that is going on. Here is lots of children with their parents, lots of smiles and giggles. Cara wants to have some cotton candy so we get one and it's so sweet, I cannot eat much of that, too sweet for me. We have gone through almost the hole area when I see one really colorful booth where you can win prices if you manage to knock down enough cans with small balls, that are about same size that they use in baseball. "Want to try that one?" She asks and I cannot say no. There is three pyramids, each one holding 10 tin cans. "I'm not good in this" I say and it's not easy. I get 6 balls, I need to knock as many of cans as I can, the more I will get the bigger price is given, but the minimum is 10 cans to get anything. At first try I manage to knock only 1 down, then 2 more. "I said that I'm not good in this..." I say but then get 3 cans with one throw, then 2. Last ball and only 2 cans needed for a price. I throw the last ball as good as I can, first there is 1 can that falls instantly, two more wobbles. I hold my breath and another of those two falls too! Yes! I win! Cara laughs and claps her hands, then she picks a little 4" white teddy bear for a price. Then I hear voice that I easily recognize from behind. "I was wondering are you two coming here today or are the museums more of your kind of places."

I turn around slowly and hear how Cara giggles before saying "Nice to see you again Four!" and then, with notable chillier voice "Erica". There surely is some between those two, but now it's not the right place nor the time to ask. "That's a nice teddy you got Cara, do you want to try Four." Alexa says with a smile and Four smiles back to her. There is definitely something going on between those two, no one can miss how they look to each other. Then I see the little girl, standing little behind, hiding on Alexa's behind. Four turns to her and asks "Kiara, would you like a teddy like she has?" Cara shows her teddy to the girl and then I get to see her properly. My heart almost stops, she looks so much like Beatrice that I remember from my childhood, there is little bit of Four too in her, it's easy to see when they are standing so close to each others. Even if I haven't known her name I would have recognized her, this must be Four's older daughter. Her smile is just like Beata's smile and she nods. Four smiles back to her and I never have seen him smiling like that.

"Well, then I have to give it a try. I'm not used to throw balls, I'm more used to thrown knives.". Then he looks to me and smiles to some memory, I bet that it includes Beatrice. "Your sister were good in throwing knives." he says and there is something more that he lefts unsaid. Cara laughs "Oh, I remember this, Will told me about the incident with knives. Didn't you hit Tris with a knife on Eric's command?". I can see Alexa glaring Cara, then turning away. Four nods, scratches his neck and then laughs. "Yes, Tris protested during a practice, Eric had made some stupid command and Tris protested. She got to be my target after questioning him, Eric didn't like that. I wouldn't have hurt her but had to nick her ear a bit to keep Eric satisfied and to end the hole thing back then." I don't know what to say, just look Alexa who has mixed emotions on her face before she notices that I'm looking. She smiles, but her smile doesn't reach her eyes. She seems sad for a time and then turns to Kiara and smiles to her and that smile comes from her heart. "Let's wish that Tobias can get a big teddy for you." she says and takes her hand. Four looks them both with smile. Kiara giggles and nods "That would be... lovely!". She emphases last word and Alexa laughs to her. "You sound just like your mother." she says and Four turns away from those two.

He walks to the booth and gets six balls. He weighs them by hand, throws to air and catches it. Then he looks to targets, aims and throws. I can see that he is not a beginner in this, it doesn't matter that it isn't knives that he is throwing, his aiming is good and so are the results. With the first throw he has managed to knock down seven cans and the rest three of the first pyramid goes down with the second throw. Alexa and Kiara are standing by his side, Kiara clapping her small hands for every success. Four makes it look so easy, with six throws he has cleaned all 30 cans and Kiara jumps up and down with excitement. She gets to pick one of the biggest prices and after thinking it long and hard she chooses a giant pink teddy. "Here you go sweetie" says the man holding that booth and then looks to both Four and Alexa "you have a lovely daughter." he says and Alexa blushes, looks away. Four just thanks him and walks back to us, saying to Alexa at same time "I told you, I'm not so used to throw balls, it took too many throws.". Kiara struggles a bit when carrying the teddy but she doesn't want any help, she holds her chin up just like Beatrice had done. "I can handle this!" She mutters but then accepted Fours help, just that teddy won't get dirty.

"Does your new teddy has a name already?" Cara asks from Kiara and she tilts her head, thinks a while. "I think that teddy's name is Ten." she then tells us and I can see how Four rises his eyebrows. "Why you want to name teddy like that?" He asks. She rolls her eyes and sighs. "Just because I want to! That lady called you Four, so a number can be a name too you know and there were ten cans in every pyramid and this teddy is perfect, so it's Ten because of that. You grownups don't understand ever these things!". We all laugh for that comment and Kiara looks more determined that grownups are just stupid. Alexa takes her hand and points out to carousel "Didn't you want to go there?". Kiara nods and then Alexa looks to me "It was nice seeing you, but... we gotta continue. Have a nice day, you too." When she looks to Cara her smile fades. They leave and Four follows them, pink teddy on his shoulders.

After a while I ask from Cara "Do you need something to eat" and she snaps out from her thoughts. "Sorry, what did you say?" She asks and smiles to me. "Just if you need something to eat.". She nods and we head to a large tent that says cafeteria on top of the tent. I get some fresh apple juice and filled bagels for us, Cara heads to find a free table to us. There is one table for two and we get seated there. "What is that you are thinking?" I have to ask from her, she is so silent. "It's just... old things." she says and looks to me. "It's something that happened back then, two weeks before the aptitude test and choosing ceremony, when I was 16 years old, when we were 16..." She looks away for a while, than back to me and has a sad smile on her face. "My best friend had a birthday party back then and things got little out of hand back then. Let's just say that she had a crush over Eric and he used it for his purposes, leaving my friend hurt really bad and I was the one that got her to hospital and told to Eric's parents and his aunt what happened. Of course Eric denied everything and blamed my friend over everything and his parents believed in his lies. He started a campaign defaming my friend and after choosing ceremony his sister continued it, telling lies about that evening and night to everyone. So my friends reputation was destroyed and so was her life, she didn't take it well and..." She sighs. "She... it's hard after all these years just to say it... she ended up taking her own life when she had found out that there had been some consequences from what had happened at the party. And even after her funeral Erica said that it was better that way, the whore had died and end of it. I have never forgiven on that, she didn't know my friend like I did and didn't see anything wrong in what her brother nor what she had did to her." Then Cara blushes. "And there were more... I got a crush over one boy and Erica found out that. She went to tell some stupid lies to him and his parents and his parents told to my mother something and I got grounded for a month. And I know that even after that she has tried to sabotage my life, my career and when she was your intern... I think that her plan was to sabotage my marriage." She laughs bitterly "Well, I did it myself." she says, looks away from me.

I reach out and take her hand to mine. "There is nothing that cannot be fixed, I think, you haven't sabotaged anything so permanently that it cannot been solved. It takes time but I'm willing to stand by your side.". She looks to me, I can see a tears in her eyes but then she smiles. "I love you, I never stopped loving you" she whispers and I smile to her. "And I... I love you" I whisper back, feeling little foolish saying it out aloud in public.


	39. Four's pov 19

**AN** : my computer broke down at the end of November/ at the beginning of December but finally with the help of Santa I'm back! Still missing all the previous texts that I have written but no can do, I hope that those can be rescued from the broken drive (or what was that, I'm not so familiar with computer, I just use them to write and for the Internet...) I had this text almost (about 98%) ready back then but wasn't able to send it and I have lots of stuff to write... lucky for me (us?) I have few days of holiday now... ;-) so be prepared, there might be lots to read!

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

\- Four's pov -

I stare after Matias, wondering why he thinks that he has some rights over Alexa. And how on earth did he even recognize me? How did he know that I had been with her? Then lights dim out and designers come to a remade small stage and principal introduces them, all 24. Ania is the last designer to come out and she gets biggest applauses, well, she truly deserved those. She smiles to everyone, looking around. When our eyes meet she blinks. Then their models come out one by one and there is a long whistle. They have changed their clothing once again, now it's nightgowns; pj's, nightdresses, bathrobes, t shirts and shorts, everything comfortable looking for good night sleep. Model after model comes out and I must admit getting anxious, waiting to see Alexa. Just before she comes out there's a tap on my shoulder. Zeke is there, looking displeased. "Where have you been? I have been looking for you over a hour?" he asks and I just take a brief look to him, then turn my attention back to stage. "I was out." I say, wanting to cut this conversation short. I know that Zeke won't let me go so easily but this is not the time or place for him to interrogate me.

I have counted 23 models and there is a brief pause. Ania's smile deepens and then Alexa comes to stage. I can hear that Zeke continues to talk but I don't listen, my all attention is fixed in elsewhere. The nightgown that she wears is black and shiny as her hair and cut in the way that leaves only little bit use to imagination. She has stay ups and stilettos and... Oh boy. She looks stunning! Alexa smiles to me or so it seems, then she looks away, still smiling but suddenly her smile freezes on her face. I turn and look to same direction that she's looking, to kitchen doors. There are two waiters, one male and one female, speaking together, looking to stage. The other one is Matias, if I recognized him correctly earlier but who is that woman? Then I note that Zeke has stopped his speech and is just glaring to me.

"Let me guess, you haven't listened anything that I said." He says and I must admit that it's true. "I'm sorry" I say to him. He sighs and shrugs "No, you are not but..." he looks away. "Let's go Four, before you get deeper in the trouble that you're already in." I look back to Alexa, she is standing now with Ania, chatting. "Yes, let's go" I say and Zeke nods. "That's the only wise thing that you have done today Four" he says. We get out and there's no taxi for us so we start to walk to my apartment. It's quite a long way to there but the weather is nice and we walk in silence, deep in our toughs. After half a mile Zeke finally speaks. "Look Four, you get me worried. Do you know what you are doing?". I look to him questioning and he continues "You are risking everything you have done in these years over a girl, a woman you hardly know. You trust her blindly in everything. It's like her father haven't ever warned you to stay away from his daughter. He has told that he could harm you, your career and those who are close to you and still you ignore that, run after her in first chance you get. After everything they have done to you you still are going after her. I bet that you don't know anything about her or do you?".

"I know enough" I answer, knowing that it's not a good answer and he won't be satisfied. Zeke sighs. "There is too much of coincidences that cannot be just happening. Her father just happening to be out of town tonight as well as her bodyguards. She is at the party, and I must admit that looking prettier than ever and her only guardian is a woman that is just looking away, letting you to slip away. You know, you two weren't so discreet than you might think and you were followed, I think that by now James Matthews knows what his daughter has done this evening and with who. You are in serious trouble, my friend." I must admit that he is right in some but I'm not buying everything. "Juliet said that she thought that James is too protecting over Alexa and she should have some fun so that's why she looked away. But who were following us?". Zeke rolls his eyes "Didn't you pay any attention to your surroundings? What did Dauntless taught to you?". I don't want to argue with Zeke so I just fasten my steps and we walk a block in silence.

Finally it's Zeke that breaks the silence. "There were a waiter and a waitress that were following you two, that man with a limp and a that woman that was servicing your table. And then that designer that made Alexa's dresses followed you two and her guardian left early from the party, just after the fashion show but before leaving she talked with that male waiter. And she was talking on phone when she left, I don't know with who but..." I don't answer anything, I'm thinking about possibilities that Juliet had set us up or Ania would snitch on us. What I talked with Juliet she seemed to be a warm hearted woman, understanding, kind, caring. Ania seemed to be Alexa's friend, I had no reason to doubt her. And then the question about Alexa's ex boyfriend, would he snitch us to James? He could, if James would listen to him and pay big money he would be more than happy to share his information about us but I doubt that. James Matthews didn't have any reason to listen him, trust in him, not after what he had done to Alexa, left her in trouble and to pay his debt.

"What is really bothering you Zeke? You haven't been yourself these last few days, you know." I ask after a while and he sighs, kicks a stone on pavement and then just stands there. I look to him, waiting and finally he speaks. "It's just this hole thing. At first it was as I told to you, I needed some time off from work and from Chicago but then... Then my boss found out from somewhere that I'm staying with you and you have a close and trusting relationship with Johanna so he has been calling to me on daily basis and asking all questions and urging me to find out some answers." He looks away. "I didn't want to do that but I didn't have much choice. He said that he will send someone else to ask those questions if I don't find the answers but there were no one else. Amar and George are busy preparing their home and their life for baby number three, the surrogate has gone to hospital this morning and baby is on the way, might even be born already." I cannot believe in what I'm hearing. Zeke betraying me? Anger rises inside of me but I say nothing, just continue the long walk to home. "Four, wait." Zeke runs after me. "So you lied to me and you have been here just spying on me?" I ask and he shakes his head. "I... it was true that I had messed my life and I had problems with Shauna and Christina and you helped me to solve out my mind, helped me to find the answer. At same time I was given an opportunity at work to really show what I can do, maybe a promotion ahead. I was given the case with kidnapped foster mothers and my boss insisted that I find out what do you know about those girls and Johanna's actions."

I see a taxi coming to us, it has the light on so I wave my hand. "Let's get a ride for the rest of way." I say and Taxi stops to us. We get to my place in silence, Zeke is waiting for me to speak but I don't have any words. When we get in to my apartment Zeke sits to sofa, staring me. "Aren't you going to say anything?" he asks and I think a while how to say what I have on my mind. "I thought that you were my friend, that I could trust in you. You just could have asked, asked about Johanna and what I know about those missing girls. You could have trusted on me that much, I would have given you answers, mainly that I don't know, I don't know the answers. But you never asked, you have just been snooping around in my apartment, in my life and... it makes me angry. I would never have trusted you to do something like that, just to gain a promotion or some other reason like that." I walk around, trying to find out the right words. "I got a message today, it warned me not to trust to anybody. I would never ever have believed that I couldn't trust in you of all people." Zeke blushes, looks away for a while and then back to me "Thanks, I needed that." he says "but... I haven't found out anything and you haven't given any vital information to me. I haven't got any clues or inside information to send to my boss and he has been yelling me by phone every day because of that. But I'm worried, there is some bigger game going on and these missing surrogates are just a small part about it. I'm afraid but there might be something big happening in near future and... I truly hope that you are not messed in that. It could end your career, you know. These two men that were here this afternoon, they spell out trouble. They are convicted criminals, they have killed, served their time in prison. It would have not been possible at Chicago and if I would ever see them in Chicago I would take them to station, wipe their memories and send them as far away as I could. I don't know who are they working for but... just be careful."

I walk to windows and look out, then turn back and look to Zeke. "There is indeed something bigger going on and as long as I'm in here I cannot do anything to it. I will be at Chicago at Sunday evening, I will stay by my mother's place, well, it's my place, I own that apartment. On Monday morning I will have a meeting with Caleb, Cara and some other people. And Johanna is waiting to see me, her short term memory isn't so good yet and she don't remember anything about what happened during that night when she was at welfare center and those three girls ended up missing but still, she is waiting to see me. There is a lot to do in first days at Chicago and I hope, I truly hope that I could trust in you. If I need your help, if it turns out that I need police, would you help me? Are you willing to help me?" Zeke thinks just a short moment before nodding. "Even it means for me to loose my job, I will help you out from any trouble you will be in.". I walk to him and we shake hands. "Friends?" he asks and I nod "friends" I reply, even in my mind I know that I cannot trust in him like I used to.

"Just help yourself if you want anything to eat or drink, I'm going to bed, I didn't get much sleep last night and I'm going to run that marathon on Saturday so I need all the sleep I can get now." I say and yawn. Zeke nods "I think that I just take a short shower and get to bed soon, I'm going back to Chicago tomorrow, my boss sent me ticket to train, I'm not making any progress here so I must get back." He blushes a bit when admitting that and then asks "Is there anything you would like me to do when I'm there?" I shake my head "No, nothing... good night!". Zeke nods "Night" and heads to bathroom, I go to my bedroom. I empty my pockets to the bed, the notebook, my phone, memory chip. There are answers in those, waiting to be found out. I flip through the written pages in notebook, try to look if there is some secret message. Again I stop to those same lines that I saw at police station, when the police commissioner wanted to see me and how I would react when I was reading Johanna's notebook.

\- Told to Tobias, he said no, too risky. Cannot live without doing something. Called L.A.

\- L.A. arranged a meeting this afternoon, T not coming.

\- I have three new roses, ready to bloom. I had to replant those, hope they will survive...

\- When I retire I want to live on that old street, watch rainbows up in the sky, smell roses, see how they grow and multiple

\- I feel sorry for Tobias, he + Tris would have been a perfect match + two kids

I have a feeling that all I need is to find out who the mysterious L.A. is, he or she could fill in the gaps that Johanna doesn't remember. These few lines just tells more than are written in here, Johanna had known that there were two kids made out from mine and Tris' DNA; Kiara and Beata. And she has a house, near the old Amity dome, she will be retiring there I think, so those three surrogate girls are somewhere there. But there is nothing more written in the notebook that is interesting or could relate to this case. I think for a while my options, Zeke and all other members of Chicago PD that are investigating this case must know these sentences also. I think it wouldn't harm anything to ask Zekes opinion about these lines but... to be true but at this point I don't trust to Zeke and it makes me sad. He is one of my oldest friends, has been my best friend. I sigh, take of my clothes, take the notebook and memory chip to bathroom with me and lock the door.

When I left the bathroom I take that notebook to my hand. Then I feel it, the paper on inside of back cover isn't glued so well in one corner. It comes off easily and there it is, a memory chip, fitted inside of a very small pocket made in back cover. I take it to my computer and place it to the reader. It asks four questions at the beginning, four questions I really have to think to find the right answers but then it opens up, they are not easy ones. When answering to fourth question correctly the computer beeps and I can access to memory chips contains. Documents after documents, diagrams, DNA charts, schedules. I soon realize that I'm holding every bit of detail that I will need to bring the Bureau down, all the evidence that is needed. This is the stuff why Johanna got beaten, what would they do to me if they knew that I'm holding this? And then there is Johanna's video message, recorded in haste.

"Four, I don't have time to explain, they are coming and they are angry. When you get this message call to Laura Andrews, she is a nurse and working at Chicago state hospitals ICU. Tell to her that... that I'm sorry but they... they killed her sister Liza and they are coming after me. She knows what is the hideouts address, the one that her sister has used for third option. But be alert, don't trust to anybody, be careful or they will come after you. Don't tell anybody that you have this notebook or this memory chip, not yet until you have gotten a trusted attorney and prosecutor has taken the case. Don't trust in Chicago's PD, there is men working for the Bureau, trying to cover everything. No matter what happens to me the girls have a safe place and your mission is to end this all. Think and you know who to contact, who needs copies of these files but... be careful and don't give every information at once." She looks over her shoulder, wipes a tear away from her cheek and then looks back to camera. "And Tobias: congratulations. I looked the data and there is indeed two kids , two girls, with your DNA, your and Beatrice's."

I take an extra copy of everything, store it in the safe place. Lucky for us all I'm quite experienced in what comes to computers. One file catches my attention and I start reading it, loosing all track of time. There is full detailed listings about our DNA, our chromosomes, our heritage and then my heart almost stops. There is photographs and they must have gotten those from the Bureaus archives; there is photos about Tris when she was just a newborn baby, going to elementary school, growing up. And same kind of photos about me, not so many but enough. I stop to a photo that has me with my parents, I'm about 2 or 3 years old then. Mother looks little tired but she's looking to me with broad smile, standing little away from my father who frowns to something outside of the photo. I'm looking to my mother and smiling too and in sudden brainstorm I flip on the photo editor and do little editing. I cut my father away and concentrate in myself and my mother, the look that we share. Little editing more,adjusting the colors and lights and there it is. I just sit still, looking that photo, my mother looking so young back then, over 20 years ago.

And then I realize that these documents aren't just me and Tris, they cover all other experiments too that they have done. There are lists about Divergents, their aptitude test results, data and details about their lives and charts that have been made to test out the combinations between them and what would be possibilities to get GP humans from crossings them with damaged ones. The Bureau has gotten our DNA samples when we were born, they have done their studies back then already and they have manipulated our lives from the beginning, including everything. I mean like aptitude tests, education, every result that we have got, everything has been manipulated somehow, aiming us to meet "the right ones" and to fall in love "with right ones" just to get what the Bureau has wanted. It makes me angry, really angry when I realize that this all has been really systematic and well organized from decades ago, only purpose to make pure humans. Then I find a file about Uriah, Zeke's brother. He had been a divergent too, pure and as it seems they had used his DNA. Of course they had. I lean back, thinking. I should tell about this to Zeke, I know. But then I would have to explain where I had gotten this information and show everything else and that could bring me problems. Later, I promise to myself, I will tell later. He needs to know, he and Hana, but not now, there's no rush.

There would be a lot more to read but I look to clock and know that I need to get some sleep. I have a date tomorrow and I cannot be late from that. I store the data so no one except me can access to it, then hide the memory chip back inside the notebook cover. Last thing that I do is print out the picture about me and my mother. I catch sleep fast but my dreams are weird, the data from the files comes to my dreams, pictures too, they all mix and mingle and results are kind of funny and scary at the same time, like dreams usually are. I'm little surprised when I'm not overly tired when the alarm goes on.

Zeke don't look rested when I see him, he is having breakfast and all his stuff is packed already. "So you are really leaving today." I say and he looks to me. "Yes, got ticket for the afternoon train.". I pour some coffee to me and the just look to Zeke. "Alexa asked that if you could join us to fun fair today, but with your timetable it's impossible or what do you think." Zeke nods "Yes, and even if it would be possible I think that I wouldn't come. I have been thinking this over and over again after our conversation last night and I'm still feeling that everything isn't right in this picture. There's something about Alexa that gives me chills. I can see how she has charmed you, but to me she seems so overly calculated and controlled, leading you to any where she wants. She spells out trouble to me, and don't get me started about her father again." I'm about to protest, Zeke should know better, I wouldn't let me fooled but he raises his hand gesturing that he hasn't finished. "But I have to say this: if she's the one for you then I'm happy for you and I hope that my assumptions are just assumptions and it won't come out like that. I just hope that you won't get in trouble but I'm afraid that you will and I cannot help you in that." I stir my coffee, thinking. "You really think so?" I must ask and Zeke hesitates for a while before nodding. "It's just... little weird. The way that she acts, the way that she comes to you, seeks your attention, your approval and even her father is against everything that involves you still she comes to you, flirts, makes you to fall deeper into her charms. The way she works behind her fathers back and everyone else allows it, including her guardian at the fashion show. It's just... weird. Too much just happening in the way that leads you to trouble I think," I sip my coffee, tilt my head and know deep inside that he has point in this. But still... I sigh. "I get the point but still... I'm not fooled so easily you know. She might be close to what I want, what I need for the rest of my life but still, I'm not blinded nor fooled. And her father truly is one of biggest worries I have but..." I sigh again and look away, then back to Zeke. "Trust in me. There is lots of stuff going on and I might need your help soon, but I don't want your judgement on what I'm doing with Alexa." Zeke blushes a bit but nods. "You can count me in, anytime. Call if you need my help, I will help you as a friend would do or if you need a police to solve some problem - call to me or to Amar. Anytime, day or night.". We shake hands for agreement.

When we finish our breakfast I get ready for the date, ready to meet my daughter for the first time. I feel little anxious, nervous and it's not normal to me. "I would like to come with you, just to see your and Tris' daughter you know but I don't have time." Zeke says when I'm leaving and I nod. "I'm going to see Johanna tomorrow." he adds and I turn to look to him "Please tell to her that I'm coming to see her on Monday." I ask and he nods. "You are coming back to Chicago then?" he asks and I nod. "As I told to you yesterday, I'm coming back on Sunday evening train, It'll be close to midnight when I'm there. It's the last month before the election and I have to be where my voters are." He nods again "I forgot. Well, we meet back there then, I think that there will be lot's of parties and everything, big events and stuff like that and of course there will be some gatherings when we wait for the election results." He says and looks me deep in my eyes "But don't do anything stupid, with Alexa or her dad or with the Bureau before the election or it may cause your job and even your life." He continues and I wonder does he know something that I don't know but I don't get any chance to ask, his phone rings and he just waves to me. It's not so long way to walk to funfair and I have time, I was leaving early from home. When I get to main entrance, 10 minutes too early, there are lots of people waiting for gates to open. Too hard to find anyone, so I stand little side from main population and just look around. When gates open they rush in and there is only few people left standing. Then I spot them, Alexa and a little girl who must be Kiara, standing together, hand in hand. My heart jumps to my throat when I see Kiara, she looks just like I have imagined her to look, just like Tris would have looked back when she was five or six. Well, Kiara is wearing really colorful t-shirt and jeans, something that Tris wouldn't have been allowed to wear back then but in all other ways I think that she looks just like her mother. Then Alexa spots me and waves her hand, I walk to them.

"So, you made it but alone" Alexa says and I nod "My friend had to rush back to Chicago and he couldn't come" . Alexa smiles, gets to tiptoes and kisses my cheek "I'm glad that you came" she whispers and then steps little back and crouches to Kiara. "This here is the man I told to you, his name is Four... Tobias Eaton I mean." I'm not sure what I should do but Kiara extends her right hand and says really politely "It's a pleasure to meet you", then she giggles and looks to Alexa who raises two thumbs up. I have to smile to them and shake Kiara's little hand. I would like to hug her but I think that it would be too much too soon. "But where is your friend, Ania?" I ask from Alexa and she shrugs. "Being in time haven't been her cup of tea ever, she is too much of an artist. She won that design competition last night and so she has been celebrating through the night I think and it can take some time before she even wakes up." She seems to be okay with that and I nod "Then it's just three of us?" I ask and she nods. Kiara pulls her hand and she crouches back to her. Kiara whispers something to her ear, looking deeply to my eyes at the same time. Alexa turns to look Kiara and nods "I do like him a lot." she replies and Kiara pulls her again, whispering something that makes Alexa laugh. "You can ask it from him yourself, you know." She replies and Kiara bites her lip and then shakes her head. "She wants to know if you like me" Alexa explains and Kiara looks to her eyes wide, like not believing in that she really said that. I smile to both of them and nod "I do like her, a lot" I answer to Kiara and she thinks for a while and nods. Then she whispers something to Alexa's ear again and Alexa looks to her. "You would like to do so?" She nods and whispers so I can just and just to hear it "for today, it would be fun.". Alexa stands up and looks to me, like not sure what to say, how to say it. "She would like to pretend that we are her parents, just for today." she says and I don't know what to say. I would so much to be her father everyday, not just act like one for a day but then I nod and look to Kiara. "I would like to have a daughter like you, even for one day, so if you want to think that I'm your father then that's fine, I can be your father, for today." I feel like there is a lot more to say but this is not the right time nor place to do so but in one day, sooner or later, I want to tell to Kiara about her true biological mother and about myself and from the way how Alexa looks to me she must realize what I'm thinking.

Alexa looks around, then takes her phone and looks to it, shrugs. "I think that we should get in to funfair, Ania haven't even read the message I sent to her so it can take some time for her to wake up and call to me. It's better that we get in and have fun!" I don't know what I expected the funfair to be, I haven't been in one before, but this is... Just noises, colorful lights and lots of fun. Kiara enjoys on everything, she pulls us from booth to booth, from ride to ride. After a while I just happen to walk side by side with Alexa, hand in hand and Kiara forgets to be shy and talks to me directly after a while, addressing me as a dad and giggles every time when she does that. It feels so good to hear her to say that and at the same time there is a little sorrow in too, realizing that Tris never had this opportunity, to meet her daughter. We meet Caleb and Cara by the ball throwing booth, Caleb has won a little teddy and Kiara looks that with long yearning looks. I crouch a bit to her and ask "Kiara, would you like a teddy like she has?" and Cara shows her teddy to Kiara. There is a broad smile on her face when she nods and I feel smiling back to her. "Well, then I have to give it a try. I'm not used to throw balls, I'm more used to thrown knives.". Then I turn to look to Caleb, remembering those times when I was the instructor for the Tris' initiative group and they were training the knife throwing. "Your sister were good in throwing knives." I say and Cara laughs "Oh, I remember this, Will told me about the incident with knives. Didn't you hit Tris with a knife on Eric's command?". I nod and then laugh. "Yes, Tris protested during a practice, Eric had made some stupid command and Tris protested. She got to be my target after questioning him, Eric didn't like that. I wouldn't have hurt her but had to nick her ear a bit to keep Eric satisfied and to end the hole thing back then." I'm lost in that memory for a while and then I hear Alexa saying to Kiara "Let's wish that Tobias can get a big teddy for you." I turn to look to them with a smile. Kiara giggles and nods "That would be... lovely!". She emphases last word and Alexa laughs to her. "You sound just like your mother." she says and it hurts a bit, Alexa cannot meant Tris by this, she is referring Juliet as Kiara's mother. I must turn away, not to let them see my emotions on my face.

I walk to the booth and get six balls, weight them by hand, throw them to air and catch them, prepare myself. Targets are three pyramids of cans, one pyramid has 10 cans so this is quite easy, I think. By the first throw I manage to knock down seven cans and the rest three of the first pyramid goes down with the second throw. I note that Alexa and Kiara has come to stand by my side and Kiara is clapping her small hands for every success. It takes only six throws to knock down all 30 cans and Kiara jumps up and down with excitement. She gets to pick one of the biggest prices and after thinking it long and hard she chooses a giant pink teddy. "Here you go sweetie" says the man holding that booth and then he looks to me and Alexa "you have a lovely daughter." he says and Alexa blushes, looks away. I nod and thank him, not wanting to correct his error and when we walk back to where Caleb and Cara are standing I say to Alexa "I told you, I'm not so used to throw balls, it took too many throws.". Kiara struggles a bit when carrying the teddy, it's almost as big as she is but she doesn't want any help, she holds her chin up just like Tris had done, saying "I can handle this!" when I offer to help her but then finally she accepts my help. "Does your new teddy has a name already?" Cara asks from Kiara and she tilts her head, thinks a while. "I think that teddy's name is Ten." she then tells us and I look to her. "Why you want to name teddy like that?" I have to ask, remembering where my name came from, how Tris had been Six when I was Four, remembering all of that and at same time realizing that she didn't have any idea about it. Kiara rolls her eyes and sighs. "Just because I want to! That lady called you Four, so a number can be a name too you know and there were ten cans in every pyramid and this teddy is perfect, so it's Ten because of that. You grownups don't understand ever these things!". We all laugh for that comment and Kiara looks more determined that grownups are just stupid. Alexa takes her hand and points out to carousel "Didn't you want to go there?". Kiara nods and we go there, Caleb and Cara go to other way. I can see some smiles in other people faces when they see me carrying that big pink teddy on my shoulders but it doesn't matter, as long as Kiara is happy, that's everything that matters. When I look those two riding a carousel I realize how hostile Alexa had been with Cara, trying to hide it in politeness but failing, I know her too well. I have to ask about it sometime, not now, I decide.

We had a nice day at the fun fair but then comes evening and Alexa haven't heard anything from Ania, she haven't shown up, Kiara is yawning already. Alexa tries to call to Ania but there isn't answer. "What shall we do now?" she asks from me.


	40. Caleb's pov 19

AN: Happy New Year to all readers! Lets see if I manage to get two new chapters written today ;-)

oOoOoOoOo

-Caleb's pov-

We sit a while there, holding hands and Cara seems relieved. I still have that little foolish feeling, I'm not used in this, telling my feelings aloud in public places. I realize that I haven't said it very often to Cara in private, not in these past few years, not after Allen was born. It doesn't mean that I didn't love her anymore but there had been so much everything that it had just… I try to catch my thought but it slips away. Why haven't I told to her how much she means to me, how much I appreciate her, how much I have loved her? Of course thats why she had been with Matthew, he had said it all, done the right things, given to her what I had denied. I had been an idiot and I bet that she knows it too. It's my turn to look away, little ashamed. I let her hand go, continue my lunch like nothing happened, nothing was said. I mean I do love her but I feel like I don't deserve her, I let her go, I left her alone, handling kids, denied the love that she had needed back then. She smiles a bit, but there is a little sad twinkle in her eyes. When did it came there? Sometimes I feel that she wants me to be different man that I am. She wants me to be a charming lover who shows his feelings easily, no matter where we are and my upbringing didn't prepare me for a life like that. It's hard for me, to tell what I want or what I feel, I'm too selfless I think. And she knows it but still she wants more.

"Do you think that Erica and Four will be a couple?" she asks after a little silence. "Who?" I ask, looking to her and she smiles to me patiently, repeating slowly and clearly "Erica and Four". Then I get it, she means Alexa and Four. "Why you keep on calling her as Erica?" I must ask and she shrugs. "Well that was the name I got to know her back then, when we were kids, growing up at Erudite. My mother worked with her father and we had dinners sometimes where they were invited, or they invited us so I got to hang out with them. Her brother Eric was at same class with me, he was few months older than I was so I got to know her too back then. She was Erica then and it feels like she's trying hard to hide that past now, hide who and what she truly is and that's what I worry about. Seeing her hanging out with Four is just somehow wrong. I want to warn Four about her but I don't know what to say, how to make him believe in that Erica is nothing else than trouble." I nod "there is so much that we have never talked about, so much in our pasts. Of course you have hung out with Eric and knew Jeanine and James and everyone...". She smiles wryly and I hear coldness in her voice when she answers "There is so much I would like to forget and I didn't choose to hang out with them.".

"It was different time back then, having the Factions and all. They had our lives in control or so they thought." I say after a while and she nods. "There were rumors after the war that if Jeanine hadn't started the war they would have done it from the outside, somehow. Matty told about it but just once, how they were going to end the experiment because there weren't enough pure humans being born. There had been just few and they were killed by Max and Eric mostly. Apparently, as Matty said, we did too much wrong choices and our genes had been too damaged ones." I nod, I have heard those same rumors but thought that they had been just that, rumors. How they could have ended the experiment? Then I remember something that Nita had told back then, during the war, what had happened to Indianapolis. It had been one of Bureau's failed experiments but I never had believed that the Bureau had thought that Chicago had been a failure too. Well, it hadn't been one before Jeanine had started an uprising. "Do you know how Jeanine was able to get the Dauntless on her side?" I ask and Cara shrugs. "I didn't know Jeanine that well, she seldom came to dinners, she worked hard, long days and skipped dinners with lame excuses. But I know that there were some trouble with Eric, when he was growing up and Jeanine helped her brother by taking care of it. They said that she organized Eric to Dauntless because of his attitude, he was too cruel for an Erudite and the aptitude test supported that idea. I bet that Jeanine fixed that aptitude test result if it was needed, but in other hand Eric was so... troubled teenager, had some serious disciplinary problems and all so it wasn't a surprise that he transferred. Most of us just sighed with relief when he choose the Dauntless. Then there was a rumor that Max had something in his past that made him vulnerable, something that Jeanine knew and it made him to be Jeanine's puppet. They said that Jeanine had Max's balls in death grip and Max did everything she dared to ask and she dared a lot. Jeanine had same sort of ruthlessness than Eric had so no wonder that some thought that Eric had been Jeanine's son and some rumors even stated that Max had been Eric's father and that was the reason how Eric got to be a leader in such a young age. But those were just some ill rumors. I know that Jeanine and Max had some history together, they were about the same age but I cannot remember what was Max's Faction before Dauntless, it was taken away from the records. So Jeanine had two Dauntless leaders on her side and it made everything so easy for her, she had planned everything so well. If there haven't been Tris and Four who knows what could have happened." We finish our lunch in silence, thinking about it, thinking some _what-if_ 's, even it's pointless.

"But back to the original question, what do you think about Erica and Four?" she asks and I shrug, I haven't thought about it, it's not my concern I think. "Should I have some sort of opinion? Alexa that I know is hard working, ambitious, has good education with excellent grades, she has connections that just blow your mind and you must admit that she got the looks too." I see how Cara looks to me. "Well, she is kind of striking, if you happen to like women with dark hair and sporty figure, I mean. She's nothing compared to you, in my mind." Cara snorts to that line but I see laughter in her eyes. She doesn't say anything and I continue "She could make out to be a really good support to Four, a good politicians interior, assistant, girlfriend or wife. You know, it really doesn't matter what she was years ago, what she did back then. She is a grown up as well as Four and it's up to those two what will happen between them, they don't need our approval or anything." I can see how Cara rolls her eyes to my last comment but then she laughs. "You are truly growing up to be a politician Caleb." she replies and I have to smile to her. Deep inside it still feels little odd to see Four with someone else than Beatrice, maybe I am so used for to see him being alone. But now when Cara asked about it and after seeing those two hanging together at the fun fair it seemed obvious that there was something going on between those two. And seeing Kiara with them, well, they had looked a happy, small family. Cara thinks over my answer, playing with the empty glass. "It's just the feeling I get from her or maybe it's the memory of the teenager Erica that gives me chills and makes me want to warn Four. And thinking that if she and Four will be a couple in future and Four is claiming our daughter... then she would be her stepmother." I see how she shivers. Then she yawns. "Should we get back to the hotel?" I ask immediately and she nods. "That could be best thing to do, maybe a little nap before the dinner?" she says.

We head to the hotel and Cara goes to bed straight away, stretches and yawns again. "I was more tired than I knew" she mutters and almost instantly falls asleep. It's 4 pm so she has about a hour to sleep before we must get ready for the dinner, if we are going there. I read my email, answer to some questions about next weeks schedule. First interviews are going to be done then, this hole election campaign hitting a higher gear. Last month before the election. I check the polls and as I suspected I'm the underdog but the gap isn't too big and I have my chances, I just have to win Chicago to my side and hope that Four does something that lowers his support. This takes about half a hour and then I switch on the TV, put it in silent mode and just browse through the channels. Nothing important or so it seems until I get to the news channel. There is live picture coming from a train accident site and I sift myself in better position. Where was this? And then camera zooms out and I can see familiar city silhouette, Chicago. I look to Cara, she is sound asleep and I turn the sound on, just a bit to hear what the reporter says.

"We have just got information that there has been an unfortunate train accident near Chicago, just 30 minutes ago. Train 1178 that was coming from Milwaukee to Providence when it derailed little after departure from Chicago. Train was traveling at full speed then but not speeding. Two of trains cars have been demolished completely when they dropped from the railway bridge to ground. There is multiple casualties and injured passengers are being rescued from the wreckage as we speak. The train had been sold out to the last seat so we can expect this to be one of biggest train accidents of our time. Cause for derailing is unknown for now but according the police commander they cannot rule out a possibility of a sabotage nor the possibility of a technical failure in trains braking system." There is some pictures taken by a drone, showing a wrecked train that is still smoking. Or it's the last part of the train that is wrecked, first five or six cars seems undamaged, standing in rails and people wandering around. There is a lot of emergency people too, paramedics working.

Cara shifts, turns and then opens her eyes, looking to me little disorientated. "Has something happened?" I shake my head "Nothing that concerns us, some train has derailed just outside the Chicago. There is some casualties and injured passengers and lots of wrecked train everywhere, looks bad. I just hope that they can open the track soon and there is no delays when we get back home on Sunday evening." She yawns and then looks to her phone. "My mother sent a message to me earlier that she would call on this afternoon, but she seems to have forgotten." She shrugs, yawns again and raises from the bed. "I go to shower now, do you want to come with me?" she asks with a wink and I shake my head "I think that it wouldn't be wise, I can take a shower little later.". I'm not sure but does she sigh when she goes to bathroom?

It takes some time before Cara comes back, towel wrapped around herself and another one holding her hair. "Your turn, dear." She says and looks to me "Has she called?" I have been looking news about the train accident so it takes time for me to understand what she means. "No, Dara haven't called." I say and she shakes her head. "It's not like her but maybe kids are keeping her busy. I hope that nothing big has happened to them." She says and I get goose bumps. "Do you know something that I don't know?" I have to ask and she hesitates for a while, then shakes her head. "What is wrong then?" I have to ask and she bites her lip. "Nothing, or at least I hope so. It's just this accident and that I cannot get my mother to answer to my calls, it just creeps me out." I look to her. "Do you have any doubts that they might in some reason have been on board in that train?" I have to ask, even I think it's not possible. Why would they be? Cara hesitates for a while, looks to me. "Well they do not have any reason to be on board but last time when she sent a message to me she referred that they have a huge surprise to us both and kids are missing us so much... I was just, I don't know, hoping or something that they might come here for the weekend. She never said that they would but..." She thinks and then shakes her head "No. She wouldn't do anything like that, she is way too practical for a surprise like that."

Latest reports are that there is at least 30 casualties and 25 people injured, most of them in critical condition. These numbers include both children and adults and they will raise when they get to clear the wreckage more. The train had been fully booked, a lot of people coming to Providence for the weekend and they estimate that there had been over 200 passenger in those two badly wrecked train cars. And two more cars collided with the wrecked ones so there is injured passenger aboard them, more easily rescued and probably no casualties in those two. Train had 10 cars and first 6 managed to pass that railroad bridge without any problems, it had been the eight car that had dropped from the bridge and ripped the seventh car from the train. The seventh car had landed upside down on top of the eight, causing most of the damage. The ninth had turned on left side and was hanging half of the bridge. The tenth car had just derailed and crashed to ninth, stayed in upright position. The police commander that they interview in TV had dead serious face when he said "The possibility of sabotage cannot be ruled out in an accident like this and the data that we have gotten from the engineer and from the trains black boxes already rule out the possibility of a technical malfunction, everything was working perfectly before the last cars entered to the bridge." It gives chills, who would or could do something like that?

"Do you want to skip the dinner and stay here? And I can call to some people if you want to find out are your mother and our children listed to passengers to that train." I can see that Cara evaluates this option long before answering "No, there's no need. I'm sure that my mother will call in any moment and we need something to eat so it's better that we go for the dinner, you have paid for the tickets so let's not waste them." I look to her, deep in her eyes "You are sure?" and she hesitates just a brief moment before nodding. I change my clothes, it doesn't take long and just when we are leaving my phone beeps for the message. I open it, it's from Dara. "Is everything okay? Cara has called so many times..." I flip my eyes and then text back "Just call to her, she just misses Allen and Beata. Everything is okay in here."

It doesn't take long before Cara's phone rings and she answers. I can hear bits and pieces from the conversation but from those pieces I'm assured that everything is just fine with the kids and that worried frown that had been on Cara's face disappears. Dara apparently hands phone to Allen, judging by Cara's tone and the way that she talks. I look what time it is and then to Cara "five minutes, we should be going in five minutes" I tell to her and head to bathroom. "Allen dear, can you give the phone back to granny?" I hear Cara to ask and smile a bit. I know that even Dara is deep inside joyful and proud grandmother she doesn't like to be called one. From Cara's question I know that she's still little mad for her mother's lack of response.

When I get back from the bathroom I try to wink to Cara that we should be going but she turns her back to me and asks "What did you say? Who was on the train?". There is a brief moment of silence, then she says "I didn't know he was there, I saw him… when was it, today is Friday so I saw him here… was it yesterday or Wednesday… I can't remember." and then again a pause, Dara explaining something. I wonder who is that man they are talking about, a brief moment of jealousy hits me. Is it Matthew, has he been here, met Cara behind my back? Are they still seeing each others? Having an affair? I can hear Cara asking "And do you know what happened to him?" and I want to ask "To who?" but then Cara just sighs and turns to me "But we must be going mother, please, if you get any information about his condition then send a message or call to me, any time. I'm sure that everything is going to be just fine! And tell kids that we love them, we will be back on Sunday evening and give a lots of kisses to them from us." She manages to smile a bit even I can see that she is upset. "Let's go" she says to me but I just stand there, waiting to hear the missing gaps from that conversation. "Who was the man you were talking about with your mother?" I must ask and she raises her eyebrows "What? Are you jealous?"


	41. Four's pov 20

\- Four's pov -

"What do you think?" I ask from Alexa and she hesitates for a while. "It might be easiest to get to my home, Kiara needs to get sleep soon. It's soon 7pm and she has had a long day. I bet that Ania calls soon and has some really good apology but we cannot wait for that." I look to Alexa, then to Kiara and back to Alexa. I realize that I don't know where she lives "You want me to come with you two? Is it a long way to your home?". She smiles a bit and shakes her head. "No, my home is just few blocks away but I need your help, I cannot carry both teddy and Kiara." she says and smiles so sweetly. I don't hesitate, I hand the teddy for her "If you carry this teddy I can carry Kiara, she seems too tired to walk." Alexa nods and lifts the teddy to her shoulders, like I have carried it before. "Oh, this truly is a big teddy, weights a lot!" she says with laughter and I smile to her. Kiara weights more, I carry her in piggyback and she puts her head down to my shoulder.

"Who has drawn to your skin?" she asks after a while. "She was a woman called Tori" I reply to her. "Why? Didn't she have any paper to draw?" she asks and I smile. "They are called tattoos and I wanted them drawn to me just to remember some things." I almost can hear how she thinks before she asks "They are permanent? You cannot wash them away? And what do you want to remember?" It takes a while to think how to explain this all to her. "Oh, they are permanent, they cannot be washed away. And I want to remember what I want to be and what I am." I can feel her finger tracing the lines of the tattoo, it tickles a bit. "Can you show me the whole picture, please?" she asks and from the corner of my eye I see how Alexa looks to me, struggling to suppress giggles by biting her lip. "I can show it later, not here and not now, okay?" I say and Kiara sighs. "It's always later and not now, in everything." I smile and look to Alexa who beams back. "I'm not going to take my shirt away here in the public when I'm carrying you but when we get to Alexa's place, then I can show it, if you really want to see it."

Kiara thinks, yawns and then agrees. "What did you mommy say when you got that woman to draw to your skin?" she asks then. "My mother didn't have anything to say for it, I was an adult back then, I made my own decisions." I reply, even it's not the full truth. "My mommy was angry when I accidentally draw to myself, she made me wash it away." Kiara confesses, emphasizes word accidentally. "Well, that was something else I think and you are still a girl, you must be older to get a tattoo, if you still want one then." I look to Alexa who smiles impish to me, like having some idea in her mind. Something in that smile reminds me of Eric and I feel shivers, not a nice memory. "What?" I ask and she just shakes her head. "Just thinking something…". I would like to know what but I cannot ask, not in this place, not now. I want to sigh, just like Kiara had.

Alexa's home truly wasn't far away and we get to nice, open lobby where is a guard sitting by the desk. Kiara taps my shoulder "put me down Four, please!" she says and runs pass the security to the elevators. We walk to the desk and Alexa greets the guard- He is still smiling to Kiara but he turns to us, greets Alexa and looks to me alert. "Hi Thomas, is my father in?" Alexa asks and Thomas looks from his computer. "Haven't come back yet." Alexa looks little surprised "Oh, I thought he would get back in the afternoon train… well, if you could call to me when he comes, there's something I need to agree about tomorrows plans with him.". Thomas writes something down and nods. She turns, takes my hand and we are going to elevators when Thomas asks "And who is your friend, miss Matthews?". Alexa turns back to him and smiles really nicely. "Do I really have to report my every visitor?". Thomas nods "Your fathers strict orders, every visitor that comes to house must be written down." Alexa looks to me and rolls her eyes and I look to guard. "You can write there Wesley Smith" I say and the guard writes it down, looking then back to me like thinking something.

I hope that he doesn't recognize me and call my bluff but he nods "and are you going to stay long, mr Smith?" he asks and I shake my head. "Just bringing these girls back to home from the fun fair." Thomas winks his eye to me "No need to rush sir, her father is away.". I just turn my back to him, not commenting to that last sentence but then I see how Alexa looks to him. I have never seen her to look anyone just like her brother had looked to me, it's an unwanted reminder of her background. I wait what she will say but she manages to take it back, just shakes her head and looks to me, trying to smile. It doesn't reach her eyes but her voice is calm. "Just if you could come with me, help Kiara to bed, mr Smith." She emphases my false last name and then I see a little smile in her eyes too.

I lift up the teddy that she had put down, it's really big but lighter than Kiara, I think. When we get little further from the guard she asks in low tone "Who is Wesley Smith?". I smile to her "He is a 70 years old librarian in governments main library. Has helped me a lot." Alexa giggles and then shakes her head "My father won't ever believe in that, why would some librarian help me back to home?" I shake my head and smile to her "No he won't and when he sees the images from the security cameras…" She nods "Lets just hope that he won't be back soon. I just wonder where he is, he should have come back by afternoon train to be ready to attend that charity dinner and he haven't informed me that he will be late or anything else. I was hoping that if Ania doesn't reply then he could look after Kiara for couple of hours tomorrow when I'm running that marathon… Or then I have to call to David but I know that he won't be happy about this." I look to Alexa. "Who is David?" I have to ask and she smiles to me "Oh, he's Ania's ex, father of Sara. He was babysitting yesterday evening when we were at the fashion show and my father was away and Juliet had to go to Milwaukee. David is okay, little stiff, works for the federal police or some other boring organization like that."

Alexa enters her badge to scanner and Kiara pushes the button. "Please, don't tell me that you live at the penthouse!" I sigh, the elevator is not my favorite but fear of the hight is bigger than fear of the closed space. Alexa giggles and nods "But where else would I live? I have an apartment of my own, at the penthouse, just next to my fathers bigger apartment. He owns this building, didn't you know. And even it's the penthouse my apartment isn't so big, just four rooms and kitchen, nothing fancy." I resist my urge to roll my eyes. I bet that they have some sort of face recognition program going on at the front desk and the guard is very well aware who I am and probably has informed to mr Matthews already that I'm in the house. There must be some trouble ahead for sure. Then the closed space hits to me again and I feel a light rush of panic creeping to me. I push that aside from my mind and just look to Kiara and take a deep breath after another, concentrating in that, concentrating in… Tris. Kiara reminds so much of her mother that I cannot believe in it. Again she is helping me out from my fears.

Finally lift's door opens to a big lobby and Alexa turns to right, showing her badge to the reader. Door opens and lights switch on automatically. Kiara and Alexa kicks of their shoes and before I say anything Kiara looks to me. "Now, please Four, if you could show the drawing you have?" Kiara asks and blinks her eyes. Alexa suppress her giggles and take Kiara by her hand. "Let's first get in and have some supper, it's going to be a bedtime soon. You could ask if Four likes to read a story for you when you go to bed." I hesitate, it would be best if I leave right now but then I see the look in her eyes, so similar than Tris' and I cannot refuse. "Please, Four?" she asks and against my better knowledge I nod. "I can read a story for you, but just a short one." I say and Alexa smiles when Kiara claps her hands triumphantly.

I kick my shoes away and lift the teddy back to my shoulders. "And where would you want this one?" I ask from Kiara and she leads me to her room. "Look, I have a room of my own here too! I'm a lucky girl, my mother says so. But can I tell you a secret?" She lowers her voice and pulls me closer. I kneel, place the teddy to her bed and she whispers to my ear "I believe that Alexa isn't my godmother but she is my real mother. Just because she is so nice to me and has a room for me and all this nice stuff and she never yells to me like my mother does. So Alexa must be my real mother but she has given me to my parents so they can take care of me when she goes to school and everything like that." I don't know what to say to that, I wish I could say the truth, to tell her about her real biological mother but she turns away and goes to her drawer, taking some clothes from there. Then she looks over her shoulder and says in very mature way. "And now, if you don't mind, could you leave so I can change my clothes to nightgown?" I smile to her, she is such a funny little girl. "Don't forget to pick a storybook that I can read to you, but a short one." She giggles. "I have a perfect story in my mind!"

I go to hallway and Kiara closes her rooms door after me. I can hear Alexa doing something in the kitchen and she's on the phone, talking to someone. I hope she has gotten an answer from Ania. I don't mean to pry but door next to Kiara's room is open and I take a look to there. Same sized room, seems to be Alexa's office space. There is a large desk, computer, a bookshelf… nothing special. Then I see pictures in the shelf and go in to get a closer look. Pictures of Alexa when she was young, a family portrait of Matthews, Alexa is about 10 years old and Eric is like… well like he was in the beginning of our initiate time at Dauntless. Not pierced or tattooed one but that familiar look on his face. Then there is pictures of Kiara as a newborn baby, a toddler, Kiara growing up. I forget time and where I am and I'm brought back when I hear a cough from the door. Alexa stands there, looking to me with a little smile. "Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to pry or anything, just… I saw these pictures about Kiara and..." she nods understanding. "Don't worry, no secrets in my life as you can see, no skeletons in closet or anything you don't already know. By the way, I have some papers about the surrogate program. I can show them to you when Kiara has gone to sleep but now she is waiting for you to read that story you promised to read for her." I must look little surprised when she smiles and says "she ate biggest supper that I have ever seen in record braking time just to get ready to go to bed with you, smart girl." There is a direct hint in the way she says it and I know that I'm playing with fire, being here is not the smartest thing.

Kiara has gone to bed, big teddy is there under the same blanket and sharing her pillow. They are about the same size, maybe the teddy is little bigger. "Now, can you show that picture you have in your back, please?" she asks and I turn and take my shirt away. Her little fingers tickle when she draws the outlines of pictures. "What are these? What they mean?" I think a while how to answer. "They remind me about the world where I was born and where I was growing up, a world that doesn't exist anymore. And they remind of what I want to be; I want to be brave, and selfless, and smart, and kind, and honest." I remember giving same answer to her mother. "Oh, but you are that! You are the most brave and smart and kind man that I know!" Kiara says. Then she hands me the storybook of the Rapunzel and yawns. "Just put the shirt back on, I think that Alexa won't like you shirtless… and don't worry, you don't have to read it hole, just as long as it takes me to fall to sleep." she says with another yawn. I smile to her thinking that Alexa might like to see me shirtless and start reading. It doesn't take long when she is near falling to sleep and I put the book away. One curl of her hair is near her mouth and I wipe it away, making her flinch a little. "Good night daddy" she says in low, sleepy voice. It hits me deep in my heart. Well it might have been Teddy, not daddy but deep in my mind I hope, I wish that it was daddy that she said. "Good night my love" I whisper and raise from the bed, just to see Alexa standing by the door again. She is smiling to us, little sadness in her eyes. "How long you were there?" I have to ask and she looks away "long enough. She loves you". I turn to look Kiara "She's a lovely girl."

"I hope you don't mind, I figured out that you are not going to that charity dinner this evening so I ordered in some Chinese food. I mean, you need to eat something before tomorrow as well as I do and it would be so depressing to eat alone." I want to say no, just leave but I remember that she promised to show some papers later on and I realize how hungry I'm so I nod and thank her. "I didn't know what you would like to eat so I ordered maybe little too much." she confesses, looking little embarrassed and indeed, there is almost too much from where to choose. Little this and that, then more of those and soon my stomach is fulled. We don't talk much, just occasionally look to each other and smile. She plays with her chop sticks, using them without any trouble. I'm not so used to use those but manage to eat enough and then I thank her for the dinner, thinking that this might be the best time for me to leave.

"I have those papers at my office, if you want to see them?" she says and raises from her seat. I follow her, take a quick look from Kiara's doorway, seeing that she is deep in sleep, hugging the teddy. "She had a marvelous day today I think" Alexa says, placing her hand to my back. I can feel electricity going between us and again I feel that I should be going, I should have left already but I'm not in control of this. She is leading me to the office, I sit to chair and she gives the papers. "These papers authenticate everything I have told to you, they explain some of the process in these and include every step they had to do before Kiara was born. There is some medical records so you can be sure that I'm her birth mother, that they used me as the surrogate and her biological mother is the one that I told to you and you are her father, as I have told. " I look to her "And you are sure that you want me to read these?". She smiles wryly "I have nothing to loose and if you have any doubts these should clear those. What they have done to me, to us all it's just… disgusting."

I start reading those papers and get lost in those. They give out the full story, in it hole sadness and cruelty. I don't see when she leaves the office but when I'm reading the last page she comes back. She has changed her clothes, she's wearing that nightgown that she had yesterday's fashion show, the silky black nightgown that reflects same color than her hair that she has brushed open, framing her face, bringing some softness in her features. She blushes when she sees me staring at her , looking so innocent than she could, wearing that nightgown and stay ups, as it seems. "I wasn't sure did you see this last outfit yesterday at the fashion show so here it is." she says in hushed voice and it's my turn to blush. I place papers to her desk, trying to think a way to say goodbye, a way to leave without hurting her. There is no words, nothing comes to my mind, I cannot form a single sentence. She walks little closer and places her hands to my cheeks, cheeks that are hot and red. She lifts my head a bit upwards, to better angle and places one little, innocent kiss to my lips. "I have dreamed about kissing you, this whole day I have been waiting for an opportunity to kiss you." She mutters against my lips and when I don't resist she sits to my lap. She kisses more deeply and I answer to those kisses, as usual, totally lost in those, loosing my track in time and place. "Please, don't freak out but..." she kisses again and then mutters last words, with kisses between everyone "I… want… you… tonight...".

Kiss after kiss breaks my barriers and I bet that she feels it, knows when my resistance has gone. I don't have enough willpower to resist anymore. She smells so nice, feels so nice, looks stunning and yes, it's been a really long time since I had been with anyone. Too long. I pull her closer to me, feel how soft her skin is, how silky the nightgown is, how her heart beats with quickened pace. It's the same pace than my heart races. "Could you show your tattoos to me, please? I know that you showed them to Kiara..." She whispers, placing her hands to my shirts hem, pulling it little upwards. I place my hands on top of hers "Not in here, Kiara is sleeping next door…" I say. She kisses me one more time and stands up, offers her hand to me. She leads me to hallway, leading me to her bedroom. She closes the door after us, locking it. "Now we won't be interrupted." she says and I pull my shirt over my head, turn my back to her. Her hand traces same lines than Kiara did before but this time it doesn't tickle, it makes me hot, hot and bothered. "I know that you have some tattoos too, let me see them." I say with hoarse voice and she lifts the nightgown. Oh my... she looks so smoking hot!

It's close to midnight when I slip away from her bed, she's sleeping her back turned to me. I gather my clothes from the floor, dress them silently and leave. I feel like I shouldn't leave, I should stay, sleep with her, wake up to the morning together, I could see Kiara at morning but then I feel like I had done something wrong, something that I shouldn't have done. Getting to bed with her had been a mistake. A joyful,ecstatic, blissful, joyous mistake. I don't know how she had done that, how she had made me fall to that trap and then I have a flashback about what she had done, what we had done and I can feel blood rising to my cheeks. In my mind I'm kicking myself but I must be honest. It had been a mistake that I would like to make again... I hesitate for a while before I put my shoes on and take my coat. I hate myself for this, I hate myself for leaving but I cannot stay, not for tonight, not now. There is too many unsolved things in our lives but this had been something, well something that had just happened... something we both had wanted, needed but should have not done. It was too soon, too early, too much. But it wasn't like we had done something wrong, we both had wanted it and needed it.

There's no sound when I leave, hallway is dark. I close the door as silent as I can, head to the elevator. For a moment I hesitate, look for emergency door, knowing that there is the staircase but opening the door will set up alarm that would wake up the hole building. I have no other choice than hope that elevator works without the badge and it does. It takes ages to get down to the lobby and I feel little dizzy when I get there, this time I had battled with my inner demons alone. At first it seems that theres no one at the lobby but then Thomas comes from some room that is located behind the desk. "Leaving so soon, mr Smith? Or should I say mr Eaton?". He smiles a knowing smile. I look to him with disgust and he just smiles back, that annoying knowing smile. "You know, I could forget that I saw you tonight and I could accidentally wipe those security camera records of but... it will cost , I'm not doing it just out of free will and good spirit." I would like to punch his nose but instead of it I take my wallet and sigh. "How much?" He smiles "How much do you have?"

I have no other choice than to walk back home, it's quite a long way but I don't have money for the taxi. Lucky for me the night is beautiful and I have time to think, argue with myself, call myself stupid and I have time to remember what I did with Alexa... that circle continues in my head. To stop it I take my phone from my jacket pocket and read the message that Zeke had sent to me after few unanswered calls. He has news that leave my blood cold, I can't believe in these news. What is going on?


	42. Caleb's pov 20

\- Caleb's pov -

I just look to Cara, not wanting to play these games anymore. She sighs. "Okay, I get it, no need to be jealous. It was just my mother and she had some news about that train crash, nothing more. One of her friends had been on board and she was wondering what had happened to him." I resist my urge to sigh and she continues "I'm speaking about mr James Matthews. I saw him here in Providence, I didn't know that he had been in Chicago. But I cannot remember did we saw him yesterday or was is on Wednesdays charity dinner. Mother said that they had a lunch today together at Chicago so he must have been there and I doubt that he had gone there just to have a lunch with my mother. And he had said to mom something that he should rush back here, to keep on eye his daughter before she gets in trouble or something.". I'm not in the mood to continue this discussion any further and I look to my watch and notice that we are going to be late. "Oh no, we should have left about ten minutes ago" I say and Cara crabs her evening bag. "Then, let's go, what are you waiting for?"

This event is held on golf club, it's not that big space and tables are scattered in many rooms, not ideal for a dinner. The event haven't started when we arrive, people are mostly gathered to main hall and are looking for the news. Most of them look shocked, one woman is crying. I try to remember who she is and where she comes from. Oh, she was the Milwaukee's member in government, Lucy something, what ever her last name was, I cannot remember it. The train had left from Milwaukee so there must have been some that she had known on board. I feel sorry for her, as well as for all the victims and their relatives and friends. I look around, I cannot see Four or Alexa here, nor Zeke or James Matthews or that couple that was Kiara's foster parents. In all ways there seems to be lot less people attending to this dinner than there had been before.

Cara heads towards the crying woman and I recognize Andrew from the crowd. He is a part of Chicago's team so I head to him. He is standing there, looking for TV with a unrecognizable expression and his girlfriend is just standing there, flipping through her phone. "Is there any news from the train crash?" I ask and point to the TV with my head. "They just announced the first victims of that crash. They include one of Milwaukee's candidates and his spouse is injured so severely that she might not survive." I think a while and realize that it must be Kiara's foster parents that he's talking about. It's horrible but it doesn't make any sense. They were here yesterday evening, or had it just been Juliet? I think hard and realize that I didn't see Jim on that fashion show as well as James Matthews had missed that show. But if it's true then… there is a huge rush of pity and sorrow that I feel over Kiara. She's so lovely girl and if this is true, that she has lost her foster parents, it's horrible!

"Why was they in that train, it doesn't make any sense, I must have seen Juliet yesterday evening on that fashion show dinner..." I say it aloud before I realize and Andrew, who had looked away, turns to me and shrugs, like he doesn't care. "I don't know anything more than what they told in TV and to be honest..." he lowers his voice and continues "There was no one important in that short list of casualties, I mean no one important from Chicago. But the whole train traffic is out of order for weeks because they must investigate that accident thoroughly and then repair that bridge. And that sucks" That's not good news but how can he be so heartless? "But isn't this horrible, biggest train crash of our lives"?I protest and he gives another I-really-don't-care look to me. "Only thing that matters to me is that there was no one important on board, no one that I personally knew and this accidents, if it's truly was an accident, biggest impact to my life is that there will be trouble to get to Chicago, where we all should be by Monday." He turns away and nods to his girlfriend. "Should we go Ann and get our places if we can finally get something to eat, they say that the wine list is excellent here."

I look after them, little angry and annoyed. I know that in some reason Andrew doesn't like me and that feeling is mutual. If I get elected he won't have a place in my staff! What a di... Cara interrupts my thoughts when she comes to me. "Did you hear it already, Kiara's foster parents have been on board of that train. That former government representative told to me that Jim's father passed away last night and they were there, Jim had went earlier to Milwaukee and Juliet followed him by night train, arriving too late to see her father-in-law alive but in time to support Jim in his grief. Did you know that Jim's father was quite a rich man and now, if it's true that Jim too had died and his wife might follow him soon then his foster daughter might heritage it all..." We share a look of disbelief. And then she drops the bomb "And it seems that my mother was right when she suspected that James Matthews was on board of that train too. They don't have any information of his condition yet, they just know that he was on board and he was seated in some of last cars."

"I just wonder why he was there, this is probably the only week of this whole campaign that you should be here in Providence. I can understand why Kiara's foster parents went to Milwaukee but James in Chicago. There's something else going on. And don't get me wrong, even your mother is a really lovely lady she cannot be the only reason why James discards his responsibilities he has here, leaves his daughter to Four and runs to other town. He wasn't there just to have a quick lunch with your mother. " Cara nods "I just fear that him being there had something to do with the Bureau and Matty." I have to agree in that even I don't like that hole idea, it's worrying. "Maybe James tough that he should go and scold Matty in person after what he has done or something. Isn't mr Matthews one of the biggest financiers to the Bureau?" Cara nods again, thinking something.

One member of organization team walks around, asks us to move to our tables. Whole program is about 30 minutes late and when we get to our seats first thing that we do is have a one minute silence for the victims of that train crash. This time we are seated in round table of 8 but four seats are empty, two of those are reserved for Johanna and two for Four. There isn't a table that has all 8 diners standing next to their chairs, having that short moment of silence. I stand opposite to Andrew and when I take a look to him he rolls his eyes and his girlfriend, who is standing next to him yawns. I can feel anger rising inside, how dare they act like that? There isn't much conversation going on during the dinner. Food is good, potatoes, roasted beef, red wine sauce and surely this clubs wine list is excellent, I mean I don't know much about wines but Cara does and she picks some wines for me to taste and they taste good. She hesitates little bit but then decides that she won't even take a little sip for taste. Ann raises her eyebrows knowingly "Are you pregnant?" she asks and then giggles, not really waiting for an answer. Cara just gives a tired look to her and sips some sparkling water instead.

Andrew and Ann drink much more than we do and more they drink more they talk with each other and some to us too. By the end of the dinner I'm already tired of hearing how Andrew boasts how he is attending to the marathon tomorrow, he will be running a half marathon. "Only half?" I have to ask and he looks little taken back "I would have gone whole marathon but Tobias is going to do that and I surely hope that he can make it, cannot see him in here." I resist my urge to roll my eyes. "Maybe he is preparing himself at home, resting and having a planned dinner and what ever you do before an event like that." I say and he just wipes his hand underrating what I said. "He has run so much in his life and more in this year alone that he doesn't need any additional help. As you can see he's not here as well as that black haired model from Milwaukee so I bet that they are somewhere together like they were yesterday. I think that we saw them at the funfair today, holding hands and having fun. That model has a daughter too so maybe mr Monk is aiming to be a daddy soon, or at least a stepfather." There is a nasty tone in Andrew's voice even when he speaks with a broad smile and I bite my lip so I won't say anything that I could regret. I take a brief look to Cara and see how she rolls her eyes.

"Perhaps mr Eaton is more experienced in running and he knows what he needs to do before a big event like a marathon is and this dinner isn't that. And he was previously engaged to my sister so he's not a monk, it just has taken some time for him to overcome my sisters death." I say to Andrew and his girlfriend looks to me like I had said something funny. "Mr Monk has been engaged?" she asks and I can hear that she doesn't believe in me. I roll my eyes but before I answer anything that I might regret later on I feel Cara touch my hand. "Let's just leave" she whispers to my ear and then turns to Andrew and Ann "It was… nice… to have a dinner with you two again but we must leave now" Cara says in her best politicians wifes voice, it's cold. She's showing clearly that Andrew and Ann haven't been the best company for dinner that you could hope for and they show that dislike is mutual. They don't even stand up when we leave.

"What an idiot and his girlfriend." Cara mutters when we go and I must continue "I bet than in dictionary if you seek a meaning for an total ass there is picture of Andrew." Cara looks to me and smiles wryly "Oh, I thought some other body part, more masculine one." And I cannot help but laugh before I can say "There's nothing masculine in that idiot, just a false oversized ego full of nothing." These are the things I love about Cara, her sense of humor and her way to express it. "I think it's clear for him too that when I'm elected I won't be hiring him for my assistant." I say and Cara smiles. "That sounded good, when you are elected." I look to her little questioning and realize that I really had used this time word when not if that I usually use. "Isn't that what I'm… I mean we are aiming for?" I have to ask and she takes my hand. "That's what we are aiming for." She replies and gives a little kiss to my cheek. It's little embarrassing but feels nice. Cara pats my hand comfortingly and whispers "no one saw that". She knows me far too well, I think.

We get back to hotel little after 9 pm and this time it's Cara that switches the TV on. As supposed, the news are just about that train accident and this time they have some more interviews, mostly from passengers friends and relatives who are waiting for the information of their loved ones. They have come to Providence too, interviewing those who were waiting for that train and then there is images coming from the golf club. "I'm totally devastated, my heart goes out for all relatives, families, friends, co-workers and to everyone who this horrible accident has touched. I feel your pain. This has been a huge hit to Chicago and to Milwaukee too." says Andrew and his girlfriend wipes a tear from corner of eye. "How dares he?" Cara snorts and is about to close the TV but then they change back to the accident site.

They interview the leader of emergency work too as well as the representative of the railroad company and then the police commander. They have first possible reasons for the accident. There had been some maintenance work done in that bridge at the beginning of the week and this train was the first longer train passing that bridge since that and first one going full speed, whole week before they had driven with shorter trains and with lower speed. And there had been a heavy rain last night. So, as the police commander says, this might all be just a series of unfortunate events after all. So far they have found 89 dead passengers and 135 has been rushed to hospitals, some has just bruises, cuts and broken bones but over 70 of them are in critical condition and they fear that the number of casualties will rise. They are arranging some buses and other transportation so they can get traffic going on but the bridge will remain closed and trains will be late next weeks. They were expecting those first six cars that remained intact from the accident to arrive to Providence in few hours and list of passengers as well as lists of injured and casualties will be published to railroad company's web pages. But there were still lot's of work to be done and wreckage to clear and they feared that some of injured passengers has to severe injuries and will die in next days. It truly had been one of biggest railroad accidents during of our lifetime.

Cara yawns "I bet that those web pages will crash now when everyone wants to see the lists so there is no use to look those, should we just try to get some sleep? What we have in schedule for tomorrow?" I look the papers and shrug. "I guess that we don't have anything scheduled, there is that marathon so we can go to see that when they run or come to finish or then we have time to go to movies or museum or some shopping for kids, if you want." Cara smiles to the last one. "That last one sounds like something that I could do and if it just happens that we are close that marathon route or the finish line then we can take a look of that too." I look to her and raise my eyebrows. "I didn't know that you are so much in sports." I have to comment and she just shakes her head "No, I'm not but I want to cheer for Four and to see how badly that little ape runs with his half." I smile to that, this is the Cara that I fell in love years ago.

"Well then, that sounds like a plan and at the evening I will take you out to some restaurant. But now I will take that shower I missed earlier, if you don't mind." Cara nods and takes her phone "I might call to my mother, check if she has heard something." I undress my suit and shirt to hanger and head to the bathroom. I seem to have forgotten to lock the door, something that I normally do, but in middle of washing my hair I can feel Cara entering to shower without saying anything. She gets some soap and rubs it to my back, massaging muscles. I want to say no, I want to stop her but my body wants her to continue. I think that this isn't the right time, not the right place. Feeling her touch, the softness and slipperiness of her soaped hands, feeling her pressing herself against my back. I'm incapable to say no, I just close my eyes and enjoy. She takes more soap and washes my abdomen, gently moving her hands downwards. "I knew you would like if I come and help you to wash your back" she whispers and washes something else. She has always known how to touch me, how to bypass my inhibitions.

Later I snuggle close to her, smell her hair and feel how she fits there perfectly. I'm falling to sleep when Cara says something that wakes me up. "The reason why my mother wanted to know about James Matthews condition is that they indeed has had some sort of relationship going on for a while and today he had asked her to… I cannot believe in this… he had asked her to marry him.". What? Dara had an affair with him? They were engaged? What? How? And when I ask from Cara "Well, what did your mother answer?" She doesn't answer, she is already in sleep.


	43. Four's pov 21

\- Four's pov -

I wake up to the smell of freshly baked waffles and coffee. For a moment I think that I'm hallucinating but then I hear someone, apparently female, singing, little out of tune. I put on a t-shirt and shorts, walk to the kitchen, barefooted and cautious. I stop by the kitchen door and look at the woman working in my kitchen. "What are you doing here?" I asked and she turns around. "Well, good morning to you too. I'm here to support my son and for the beginning I made some breakfast for you." She is chopping some fruits and vegetables, making them to be a smoothie. "I know that you need lots of carbohydrates today, don't worry, the coffee is for me. Why don't you go to the shower first, shave and then the breakfast will be ready." She says, turns her back to me and continues to sing. I shake my head, I'm not sure if I'm awake or still sleeping and if I'm dreaming is this a good or a bad dream?

I take a long, cold shower and then look myself from the bathroom mirror. My hair is longer than usual, it needs to be cut but not today. Hair curls when it's still wet and I remember how Alexa had laced her fingers through it, pulling me closer, pulling my hair, whispering my name when I... I shake my head, clear that memory away and start to shave. I can't resist, there is a satisfied smirk on my face. When I turn my head I can see a red mark at my neck, just below the ear, in the jawline. She must have made it when I... I splash some cold water to my face, just to erase that memory too, not letting it go any further. This isn't the right time to remember that, not when my mother is in the kitchen, waiting me for breakfast. When I take a towel and dry my face I just wonder why I'm so happy and not having any regrets or why I'm not scolding myself. Maybe I did enough scolding last night? I had slept good, no weird dreams, no dreams at all. I remember how I had feared that Tris would come to my dreams, just for lecturing me for what I can do and with who, what is acceptable behavior, what's not acceptable. I put on black jeans and t-shirt now, feeling much more comfortable in these clothes. I take dirty t-shirt from my bedrooms floor and toss it to washing machine. It smells like her.

When I get back to the kitchen my mother turns around and looks to me. "Better, that new hairstyle suits you, you should keep it longer." She says and points to the table. "Please, sit down and take some breakfast". There is a large omelet, those golden waffles, smoothie. "Is she still asleep? You should have woken her for breakfast. Here's enough for her too." She asks, looking somewhere where my bedroom is. I stare at her, not understanding who she means with that. "That woman or girl that you are having an affair with." She continues and I shake my head. "There's no one." She raises eyebrows and looks directly to that hickey. "Is it so? I have heard something else and just by looking to you I'm turning to believe that what I have heard has been true." She says, clearly not believing in my denial. "Go and look for yourself, if you don't trust in me, mother. There's no one in my bed." I say but fight back for not to blush.

I taste some of omelet, it's really good. I have missed this I realize, my mothers is quite a cook, at least she knows how to make tasty food. I take some more, some bread too. Better eat enough now, I think. "But are you seeing someone? Even now here's no one else than us it's hard to believe that nothing has happened just by looking to you." She gives again knowing look that seems to be aimed to my hickey. "It's not your business, leave it mother." I reply between the bites with a tone that she knows far too well. Leave me and my stuff alone, don't ask. She smiles little knowing smile. "Oh, it's so serious! That's nice. When I get to meet her?" She says and I just glare her. "When did you come here? Why?" I ask before I take some of those waffles.

"I got a ticket to that yesterday's afternoon train, luckily my seat was in second car but of course whole train was over six hours late because of that horrible accident and I got here little after 1 am." I stop eating and just stare her. "What train accident?" I ask and she rolls her eyes. "Haven't you heard any news lately?" I shake my head. "What have you done then? Yesterday afternoon there was a biggest train accident of our lifetime when train derailed little after leaving Chicago. There is over 100 dead and about 150 injured passengers and more casualties will come. And you have heard nothing about it?"I haven't heard the news, not bothered to look those. "I have been busy." I reply, pieces of information falling to right places.

Now I remember that Zeke had called to me several times and left a message too, oh wait... there had been two messages. My phone had been in my jackets pocket and on silent so I didn't notice them back then, when we were at fun fair and after that I had been busy, not needing my phone to anything. He had written something about me being luckiest man alive and that he's hoping that I'll go all the way on my date. That was why I didn't answer to him, I didn't want him to know what I had done. I just wonder what he was referring in that I was luckiest. I raise up and go to get my phone and read his message again. " _Our train is standing in middle of nowhere, waiting for that train from Chicago to pass us. Say hi to Alexa from me, you must be luckiest man alive, having a girlfriend like her. Sorry for what I said earlier, I must have been jealous, can't wait to meet Shauna! Remember, I'm not there, I'm not pulling brakes or sleeping on sofa so please, this time, go ALL the way. Don't think! DO IT! You need it... ;-)_ " and then there is second message from Zeke, sent about 30 minutes later. " _Sabotage, what and nasty word. Train accident, well too planned to be just an accident but planned well enough to look like one. Makes me angry and not just because now we have to sit and wait for more..._ " When I put on pieces that I heard from mother and got from this message, I instantly remember what Alexa had said. He father must have been on board in that train and I'm sure that he was traveling in first class or business class or what ever they call it, unlike my mother had. That had saved my mother but what had happened to James Matthews?

There isn't any other calls but there is one message from Alexa, send few minutes ago. I hesitate a while before opening it. " _Thanks,we had an awesome day with you yesterday! No regrets!? Hope you had fun too! Kiara loves you as well I might do too... (oops, now you freak out!?) C U and kisses from both of us. ps. I know, too many !:s_ " And when I'm reading that message she sends a photo of Kiara and herself, lying at Alexa's bed, looking like they had just woken up. I smile a bit when I get back to the kitchen to finish my breakfast. Mother is just looking to me, sipping her cup of coffee, not asking any questions. They will come later, I know. She has just that look on her face.

I thank mother for the surprise and breakfast, check what time it is, it's just 9 am and start for the marathon will be at 2 pm. So I have time to get ready, to do what I should have done already. I mix some sports drink and head to my computer. I have already one list for music that I like to listen when I'm running and I do a quick search for more, same bands and new songs. Now I have about 3 hours of music in my player, that should be enough. I pack glucose tablets and energy gels, check that my earphones works and my player has enough battery. Everything is in order. Then I take my phone and send a message to Alexa.

" _Everything fine, no regrets (anymore), waiting for marathon. Have you got a babysitter? How has Ten behaved? I miss you both._ " I don't know where that last sentence comes from and before I get second thoughts I send the message. It doesn't take long before she answers: " _David will take Kiara. Ania is still missing and my dad has some delay or something, haven't called. C U at start line?_ " That might be the only time that I will see her today, I bet that she can outrun me anytime. I smile to the thought that at least I have something nice to look at when I run after her. Me, running after some girl. Then I look up and see my mother by the doorway. She just looks to me, holding her second or third cup of coffee and and smiles. "Who is she?" She asks and I shrug and look away from her. Then I see the picture that I printed few days ago and hand that to mother. "Do you know who these are?" I ask with a little smile, trying to turn the conversation to other matters. She looks to the picture. "Oh, this is old... about 25 years or more, this was little before I..." her voice trails of. I finish her sentence. "That was taken little before you died." She hands the picture back. "Haven't I said it hundreds of times that I made a mistake back then when I left you to him?". I look to her and shake my head. "You have said it but... you didn't make any mistake. It was... well... did you have many options? And after all, I survived, it made me stronger."

She enters to room, places her hand to my shoulder. "I could have saved you, I could have helped you. I should have, I was a poor mother." In that last bit I cannot argue. Then my phone beeps again and I look the message, it's Alexa again. " _Just left Kiara to David, got the news. Not sure if I can run, something really bad has happened. Can U meet me at Bay Café in 45 mins? I need you._ " I take a short look to map, café is near the start line, about 20min walk away from my apartment. " _I'll be there._ " I answer and then look to mother. Her hand is still on my shoulder but she is looking to my bookshelf, deep in her thoughts, not meeting my gaze. It's like she wants to make clear that she's respecting my privacy and didn't read the message over my shoulder. I know that eventually she should hear this from me and it's better that she hears it sooner, not later. I open the photo from my phone, the one that I got in this morning and think a second. Then I turn my phone to her, without saying anything. It takes little time before she realizes and takes the phone from me.

"Oh, she's the one?" She asks and looks to me questioning. "Yes, you can say so, but... it's like we have just met and just starting this up so this all is just... new and..." I don't know what to say and she looks to me. "Dark hair? Not a blond like Tris. But is that child her daughter? They don't look so much alike, she looks much more like..." She looks closely the picture, like not believing in her eyes. I have known that my mother is smart, she cannot be easily fooled. "She looks a lot like Tris and..." she says after a while and hands phone back to me. I can see that she knows in her heart already what is the truth. "...she has your eyes." she continues with a hint of question and lot's of statement in that sentence. I take a deep breath. "She looks like her biological mother and yes, she's Tris' daughter and she's mine. She was genetically manufactured from our DNA, born from a surrogate mother and she's little over 5 years old now." My mother just looks me, trying to understand what I'm saying. "Yes, I have a daughter and you have a grandchild, you are a grandmother like you have wanted to be so many years. I have just found this out myself but I wanted to tell this to you before someone else founds out and gossips." There is a short smile crossing her lips before she confesses "Well, there was some rumors going on, some reporter called to me and asked if it's true, if these gossips are true. I said then no, of course they aren't true." She looks to her coffee cup and then laughs a bit. "But it was the truth." she adds and then looks to me. "How does it feel to be a father? Can I meet her? And why is your girlfriend with her?"

I look what time it's and I know that should be leaving. "Let's talk more about this after the marathon, I must go soon, I have a meeting before the run." Mother sighs. "Is this how it's always going to be, you avoiding any conversations I'm trying to bring from these things?" I roll my eyes and look to her, then again what time it is. "Mother, I must go, now. I will talk with you about these things and if it's possible you will meet your granddaughter but I'm not giving any guarantee for that." I check that I have my phone, wallet, keys and then leave. I have just enough time to get to Bay Café in time. When I'm walking there I pick Zeke's number. It takes some time before he answers, sounding tired. "Sorry, did I wake you up?" I have to ask and he yawns. "Yes, you did. I just got at home about five hours ago and didn't get any sleep until few hours ago." I feel bad for him. "I didn't know, didn't mean to wake you up. You should have sent a message or switch your phone off..." He yawns again "But now I'm awake so please tell me what happened in your date yesterday?"

I smile a bit. "Well... we went to the fun fair and I won a big teddy by throwing balls and we ate a lot of cotton candy and popcorn and other stuff like that. I got to carry Kiara to her home and read the bedtime story for her." Zeke is silent, waiting for me to tell some more. "And that's everything? Nothing special happened?" He asks and I cough. "I knew it, well done!" he says in triumph. "But this is not why I called to you, I meant to ask just what happened yesterday? What happened to the train?" He sighs. "Well, we were standing still there, in middle of nowhere, about 50 miles before Chicago. They had done some maintenance to tracks and that old bridge had only one set of rails ready so we had to wait for another train, the one that was coming from Chicago and was headed to Providence. We just sat there and had to look how the bridge collapsed and train cars crashed..." his voice fades of. "Oh, I'm sorry for asking, didn't know that you saw everything!" I say and feel bad. "I was probably the first that called that emergency call, first that rushed to the scene to help."

"It must have been hard" I say and he sighs again, then yawns. "It never gets easier, seeing injured people, seeing dead children… It's always just horrible." He says with really tired voice and I sympathize him, I cannot even imagine what he has faced yesterday. "I let you go back to sleep, I'm sorry that I wake you up. And remember to call or send a message to me, any time, if there is something you want to talk about." Zeke is quiet some time and I think that he had fallen back to sleep already but then he says "Just be careful. Her father got hurt quite bad yesterday in that accident, I saw him there, his face was covered with blood, he was unconscious, his hand was in weird position. We found him from the ninth car over 3 hours after the accident, his bodyguard was lying there dead. But still it doesn't mean that you can do anything you want out and openly with her. Be careful." I can see the café already, I'm few minutes early but then I spot Alexa sitting in empty café, her head pressed to her hands, untouched cup of coffee next to her. "Take care. And call, any time." I say and hang up, sitting next to Alexa.

"Bad news?" I ask and she raises her head, looking me with teary eyes. "You can say it again, worst imaginable news." I understand. "About your father?" I confirm and she looks to me little surprised. "No? What? Has happened to him? I haven't heard anything from him since Thursday morning when he said that he will go to Chicago for a business meeting." I hear panic creeping to her voice and put my hand over her shoulders. "Just take a deep breath and try to calm down. I know nothing more than this. There has been a train accident yesterday and your father might have been on board in that train." She shakes her head "No, no, no, no..." she whispers with her voice trailing of. I caress her shoulder and she leans closer to me. Her shoulders shake, she's fighting back her tears, not wanting to have a total meltdown, not now and here, not even we are only customers now. Two waitresses are cleaning other tables, another of those two gives few long looks to us but leaves us alone eventually.

"Ania" she whispers little later on, when she had gathered herself a bit. I fear for the worst immediately. "Ania has been found dead from her apartment. OD. That's why she didn't answer or showed up to fun fair. When I called to David this morning, to check that if he could look after Kiara today he had got worried and he went there, found her. He called paramedics and police but there was nothing that could been done, she had been dead over a day. David had seen her alive Friday morning, when he had gone there to leave Sara to her just before going to work. Ania hadn't slept then, she had been too drunk so David had left Sara to his mother that lives nearby too and he had scolded Ania for her drinking. But hey, she had won that competition with flying colors. She had every reason to celebrate a little." Alexa brakes to tears.

I gently pull her closer, let her sorrow past over her, comfort her with my presence. "Did you knew that she used? You couldn't have done anything to prevent this, it was just what she did, you didn't force her." She leans her head to my shoulder. "I could have gone to see her, to see why she didn't answer, I asked if she would like to come to sleep at my place, when we got back from the fashion show but she said no then. And when I went to pick up Kiara I could have gotten her too and Sara and we should have come to fun fair together, not just what I did, I was waiting for her to show up..." I wait if there is something more that she wants to say but she just takes a tissue and wipes her eyes dry. "I knew that she had used, but she quit years ago, before she started expecting Sara and she had been clean since. I didn't know that she had relapsed. She had been in same rehab than Matias, you know, my ex, was. I saw him there, at the fashion party and he paid his debt back to me, up until the last cent. I wondered where he had gotten that money but he didn't tell, even when I asked. Never ever before he had any money nor will to pay his debt and now suddenly he had all the money with six year interest. That was weird, I said it to him then but he just ignored it. And I saw him talking with Ania later on, just before we left, little pass 2 am."

I caress her back, just enjoying having her close to me. "You could have not done anything to prevent this. She had chosen to use that stuff, you could perhaps postpone her death by few hours or days or weeks but it was her own choice. If you didn't know that she still used or had relapsed then it was not your fault and you could have not done anything to save her." She looks to me, thinking for what I said and finally she nods. "Maybe it's like so but I don't know if I can run today, if it's suitable or not…" her voice trails of and I wipe one runaway tear away from her cheek. "It's up to you, if you feel like you cannot run, then you skip the marathon but if you feel that you can run for her honor, for her remembrance , and if running helps you solve your feelings, makes you to feel better… I know that running has helped me better than staying at home, drinking beer and overeating food filled with fats and carbohydrates." She listens me very silently, another tear rolls down to her cheek. "I suggest this: go home now, get your running gear and think. Drink a big glass of water and think again. Think how it makes you feel, which way is better. You have little over three hours now before the start so I will be waiting for you at the start line by 1:30 pm. Join me there, if you decide to run. If no, I understand but hope that you will cheer for me." I kiss her, slowly and gently and she manages to smile, return to kiss. "Walk me back to home" she asks and I hesitate but just for a second. "I walk you to your house, but I will not come in, not this time." Again she manages to smile. I stand up and offer my hand for her, she takes it and we leave. By door I turn little back and see how two waitresses are staring after us, talking together, having a little argument perhaps.

There is a short walk to Alexa's home, we walk it hand in hand, silently. We stop to the entrance, I'm not wanting to let her go but she's letting my hand go. "Thanks Four." She says, with another little, short smile and I place my hand to her shoulder, lean towards her. "I have asked you to call me Tobias." I say and kiss her. I cannot resist it, I don't want to. "I hope I see you today." I say and she hesitates before she nods. "I will come, to run or to cheer to you, I'm not sure yet.". I continue to my apartment, deep in my thoughts. It's just few blocks away from her house when I spot a familiar kind of car driving on street, headed to that same house. Because of darkened windows I cannot see if there's anyone on board but that surely looks alike the car that James Matthews has used before.

My mother has made a bed for herself to sofa and is sleeping when I return to home. I get something to drink and then go to computer, read every bit of news about that train accident that I find. Then I find lists about survivors, injured and casualties. James Matthews isn't at any list but from casualties list I find two familiar names, listed together; Jim and Juliet Andrew's, Milwaukee. "Cannot be!" I say aloud, they had just been here, I had talked long with Juliet at the fashion show, now she had died as well as Ania. And Zeke had said that it had not been an accident… Then I think what is Kiara's future now when her foster parents have died, how this will affect to her. How this affects to Alexa? She had been so down, depressed, sad when I saw her, this isn't good news at all. I want to call to Alexa, I take my phone but then put it back down. It's better to leave her alone, let her have time to think. I check what time it's already and get little shocked, it's time to change clothes to running gear and soon head to start!

I get my trusted shorts and running shirt, get those comfortable sneakers. I look those clothes, even my underwear and socks are black. I take Amar's list for preparing myself to marathon and read what I should do. I have done everything, last thing is to get the bib out from the envelope that I got when I signed in for the full marathon. I didn't pay any attention to that back then but now when I see my number I don't know what to say 1046. Ten, Four, Six. Must be my lucky number. Just before I leave from home I go to toilet. Little by little I'm starting to get nervous and anxious. My mother is still asleep when I leave, I'm not sure if I should wake her up or not but she seems so peaceful and I don't want to disturb her.

It's almost 2 pm when I spot Alexa finally, she's wearing her running gear and her bib, looking more in control of herself, quite happy actually. I cannot get it, her mood swings, from sad to happy, from depressed to this, in few hours. I would have understood if she had decided not to run, after all these news. Then I wonder if she had heard about Jim and Juliet but I'm afraid to ask. She seems so delighted when she sees me. "Oh finally I found you, what a crowd!" She says with a smile. "Do you have a target time?" I ask from her and she shrugs "If it stays under three hours then I'm happy, if it goes over then… well, then it goes. But I hope that it doesn't." That's a quite challenge. "I was hoping to get under three and half" I say. "Well then you should be looking my back whole way from start to finish and wasn't that the best part of me, or what did you say last night?" She teases and winks her eye, remembering as well as I do what was the part of her body that I had said to be the best part. It wasn't her back… I try to look angry but she just smirks. Before I get to answer anything there comes a public announcement that asks every full marathon runner to stand little back and left side to start line, let half marathon runners on the right side and little ahead. There is hustle by start line, I note that we who run full have numbers that have four digits and those who run only half have three digit numbers in their bibs. Many of runners have black band on their hand and there isn't many happy faces, more sadness around the start line.

"And now we ask for one minute silence for remembrance those who have passed away in that yesterdays train accident, there were many runners coming to this marathon on board of that train and not everyone survived." I look to Alexa ans she seems to be just fine. After the silence we hear the national anthem and then they count down from ten to one before start pistol goes off. "Good luck" I say and she smirks to me again "If you can catch me you can..." She looks around, gets tiptoes and then quickly whispers a really dirty word to my ear, gives a small peck to my jaw. Before I realize she has turned around and run away. There is a lot of runners looking for a place to run and it takes some to me to get own pace and speed.

Weather is nice, not too hot, not too cold. Sometimes sun comes from clouds and shines, then there is little white clouds high above, giving needed shelter. When I get my rhythm going on I feel that nothing can stop me and get little shocked when first fluid station is ahead. Have we really gone 3 miles already? I don't get anything to drink, I feel that I don't need to but when we hit the fluid station at 6 miles I take some sports drink. I haven't seen Alexa, nor anyone else that I could recognize but I enjoy this event, talking with other runners or mostly listening what they have to say.

When we get to fluid station at 10 miles I'm truly surprised. Christina is there, she offers some banana and water to me and runs at my side. "You are doing fine Four, with this speed you will finish in 3 hours and 15 mins! Keep up the good work!" She says and gives a flying kiss. I'm stunned but happy, that was a surprise but I needed it, got some new power for running from that! If it's true what Christina said then I'm running little too fast but I feel fine, no need to slow down I think and then I calculate little. It doesn't matter if I hit "the wall" that some of fellow runners have spoken and little slow down then, I still got chances to finish under three and half hours.

Little after fluid station at 12 miles there is a dividing point, all that are running only a half marathon are guided to another route. That's the point where I get my first glimpse of Alexa, she's far ahead but if I'm not wrong that's her jet black ponytail that is swinging. I smile a bit, remembering her words from start line. Fluid station at 13 miles offers next surprise for me, there's Shauna offering some water and banana for me. "Doing well, my favorite number! Half way done, good luck and keep the speed!" she yells and gives a flying kiss. I'm stunned but so happy, two of my friends are here, cheering for me. I feel so good and little speed up. It feels just fine. Little after that fluid station I get time for half marathon, 1.29.46. It's surprisingly fast but I know already that I cannot keep that speed all the way till finish. But I have good chances to reach my target time!

Miles passes by, now I'm running alone, no one to talk with. I take my music player and listen to some music, steady rhythm from music helps me keep up my speed. When I'm closing to fluid station at 18 miles I start to feel little tired and first time during this marathon I ask from myself "was this a wise decision to run the whole marathon, if I had run only half I had finished already!" Of course there's no answer and my legs keep on going. Then, at the fluid station is one of biggest surprises. Amar is standing there, waiting for me. "Keep up that Four, don't you dare to let go. You are doing so fine!" he runs there at my side little time, giving me some more instructions before giving a high five. I cannot believe in this, my friends are here, supporting me.

It's not a surprise that there's Christina at fluid station at 20 miles, she haven't moved and this is the same station that it was when we had run 10 miles. She keeps on cheering, all sparky and joyful and happy like she usually is. I get some energy gels and feel better almost instantly, but there is still little over 6 miles to run.

When I hit the mark of 22 miles and that fluid station there are Cara and Caleb standing, Cara cheering and Caleb gives two thumbs up. Ah, what a stiff, I think and then suppress laughter. But it helps just to see familiar faces, to hear how they cheering for me. 24 miles and I think that I have run over 50 already, this seems to be an unending run. Amar's words "Marathon is a whole different beast" comes to my mind and I share that thought. I chance music to more aggressive and get some more energy gels. Feeling isn't good but I will do it. Little over 2 miles to run. Then I see Alexa again, at the other end of long straight. She's waving to some kids and when I pass them little later on I realize that there is Kiara standing and cheering, just at the beginning of that big promenade by Bay. And at the other end of that promenade will be the finish line.

I pick up all the speed that I have left, all the strength and all the power. I'm somewhere little out from this world, just running a step after step after step and just before the finish line I can see all my friends. Shauna and Christina standing side by side, Amar there next to girls, Cara and Caleb and my mother. "You DID it!" they shout and then, finally, it's done. I really did it! My time, 3.02.13 is far better that what I was aiming for, really good for the first marathon. The second half was slower than first but it was expected. I look around and then spot Alexa who is pouring some water on herself, looking like she has given it all. I go to her, smiling and kiss her, not caring where we are, just triumphant that we made it. "What was your time?" she asks and when I tell it to her she smiles a bit. "Well, my time was 2.59.02 so I was bit faster then". She leans to me, puts her hand around my waist. "Does this mean that what you promised at the start isn't going to happen?" I ask and she laughs. "Well… that can be negotiated.". Then I see him.

His right arm is on arm sling, he has bruises, and a large bandage around his head, covering stitches, I presume. He looks to me with that distaste that he has shown before, noticing how we stand there, her hand wrapped to my waist, my hand on her shoulders. "Erica" Is everything that he says, command in his voice and Alexa flinches a bit but stays there, by my side, her hand around my waist. My mothers pushes herself through the crowd. "Sorry, coming through. Let me just hug... oh" She stands still, looks to Alexa with a smile and extends her hand. "Hi, you must be that girl that has my son hooked". Alexa turns to look to me, little question in her smile and I smile back. "That's my mother Evelyn." Alexa takes my mothers hand and they shake hands with polite smile and at same time I can see how Alexa's father stiffs a bit, turns to look to my mother "Not Evelyn Johnson?" My mother looks to him, questioning "Yes, Evelyn Johnson, then Evelyn Johnson-Eaton, now back to Evelyn Johnson." she replies and looks to James better. "And you are... oh my. You have gotten old!" First time I can see an original actual smile on his face. "Well, you too are not a teenager anymore, you know."


	44. Caleb's pov 21

AN: I'm trying to continue, I have some sort of writers block, I know how this story ends eventually but how to get there... Mostly I have been reading texts from various writers and feeling so small and - this is not me trying to get some complements - so... I don't know how to put this. So minor, that I can barely write my name correct. But I try to get something written to here. And then there was a entire another story (something that happened long time ago in a galaxy far, far away) that really needed to be written, it was only little over 34 000 words but it took some time and effort too. But here is something and I promise, I solemnly swear that this time I continue this up to finish.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

\- Caleb's pov -

 _I'm looking to my fathers eyes, dead eyes, eyes without that familiar spark. When I look up, I see Beatrice, running away, to Four. She didn't care, it was her fault, all she cared was Four! I blamed her for my fathers death, it didn't matter that she wasn't the one that shot him. I had blamed her so long, as well I had blamed her for my mothers death. It was her fault that my children never had chance to meet my parents; my parents never had a chance to meet their grandchildren. I stared to Beatrice, her leaning against Fours shoulder, closing her eyes. "WHY?" I shout to her and she never replies, she didn't have words, excuses, she didn't even try. I saw tears in her eyes, falling to her cheeks. And then in the dream I'm back at the Bureau's, looking how Four collapses to floor, sobbing. I feel hopeless, I feel like I have betrayed them; my parents, my sister, my friends, myself. When I turn I see her, all dead, lifeless, in morgue, white as marble, cold as stone. Beautiful, my sister had always been beautiful, I think. I see the wounds that bullets had done, feel the pain in me, in same places. Why she had to die? Why I let her to go? Why didn't I go as planned? Didn't she deserve to live? She had Four who loved her, who worshiped her. Then I hear my father's voice, long forgotten, but instantly recognized."You should have gone, you should be dead." he says and I cannot do anything else than agree. Beatrice had died, because of my actions and I wasn't man enough to stop her, to do what I should have done. How this all would have gone, if only I had…_

I wake up to my sobs, feeling how Cara turns around, places her hand against my aching heart. "Shhhhh… everything is okay, it's just a dream…" she says, bringing comfort to me, like she always ha. "I failed them, I failed them all." I say and hear her sigh. Bit of anger rises inside of me but I must admit that we have gone through this many times already. She places a soft kiss to my bare shoulder. "I know my darling, but you cannot change the past. And you just did what she wanted you to do, she wanted to go, to save us all and I bet that she wanted you to continue your life, have children, continue family's name. I bet that she would have been a proud aunt to Allen and Beata." she whispers with heavy voice, still half asleep. "She would have been a mother to Beata." I correct her and she shifts a little. "No, I was the one that carried her to world, she would have been her aunt." she insisted. This is not the time to start that argument.

We fell in silence, shortly I realized that her breathing had gone slower, heavier and she is back in sleep. It takes me much longer to get sleep again, I just lay there, her hand wrapped around me, bringing some comfort. Her hand feels small, soft and surprisingly warm, normally her hands are cold as ice or even colder. I used to tease her for it and she used to warm her cold fingers against my back, pushing her hand under my shirt when I wasn't paying attention or when we snuggled. I place my hand over hers, my big hand covering her hand entirely and then I remember when was the last time that her hands were warm like this. When she was expecting Beata and yes, when she was expecting Allen. That had been first sign, her warm hands. I'm about to tell that discobery to her when I realize that she is already back asleep. I stay awake, holding her hand in mine, looking to wall. It takes time to fall back to sleep, my thought keep hunting me, bringing back memories from past.

Years ago Cara had said that I need some professional help but I have denied it, too long I assume. Maybe it could help, shouldn't do any harm to me, to us if I talk about these dreams, nightmares, thoughts, memories to someone. But this is not the time, too close to election day and I don't want to make any headlines with my personal life and what kind of mess it is. Well, I already have, there had been news about our marriage crisis already. No need to fuel those flames, I think. If I concentrate net month, next six weeks to election and when it all is finished, votes counted and oaths given, maybe then, if I can find a suitable professional to talk with. With these thoughts I finally drift back to sleep.

I wake up late, sun is shining to our hotel room, I forgot to pull those curtains to window last night. I had been sleeping on my side of bed, close the edge of it, my back turned to Cara's direction and she is sleeping on her side, as far from me as she can. To my surprise Cara is still asleep, she's usually an early bird, first one awake in our family. This is longest that I can remember that I have slept, she should be awake. It's close to noon already! She turns around in her sleep, facing now to me. I look to her, study her features. There is some dark shadow under her eyes, even after sleeping so long. She looks relaxed, little smile lingering on her lips. She's beautiful, more beautiful than the girl she once was, the girl that I once fell in for, she has grown to be a woman and I love her every feature. I sigh a little, I can't deny it. I love her, still, after all and everything, I love her.

Then I remember what happened last night, in shower and after that. I blush a little, remembering her hands on me, everywhere, touching me... I try to tell myself that there is no need to be ashamed, it's all just part of normal marriage but a small voice inside of my head keeps telling to me that our marriage isn't normal. Not anymore, there has been too much going on. I keep looking at her and she stretches a bit, her smile deepens. "Good morning my love" she says with husky voice and then opens her eyes. I pull back a bit, look away, feeling little... what is that feeling? Ashamed? I can feel that I'm blushing even there isn't any reason why. "Good morning Cara" is everything I managed to say and jump from the bed, avoiding her gaze. She doesn't deserve a man like me, no one does.

"Oh, I'm starving! What time it is?" She says and I look to my watch. "It's almost 10:30 already." I tell and she looks really astonished. "Really? No wonder why I'm so hungry that I could eat a horse..." I smile to her words. "Well then, get up, you need breakfast or what ever it is at this time of day. Not a lunch, maybe a brunch or something like that." I go to bathroom, locking the door and take a hard look of myself at the mirror. "Caleb, you are getting old..." I say to my image. Not a boy anymore, a grown up man. It doesn't matter, no one misses that young boy, not even me. I was a coward back then, didn't do my part of the deal.

When I get out from the toilet I hear that Cara is speaking with someone and when I listen a bit more I'm sure that she's speaking with her mother. It reminds to me that there is some questions that I have in my mind, about Dara and her relationship with Alexa's father. According to noises that Cara makes the news are good and there is lots of them, Dara seems to talk more than normal. Cara takes some sweets from her handbag, bottle of apple juice from the fridge. She drinks a bit of juice and then I can see well how she fights to keep it down, not to throw up. It's a good thing that Dara does all the talking so Cara has all the time to fight against the nausea. I bet that sleeping long doesn't help her pregnancy symptoms at all. I go to bathroom, take a small towel and wet it with cold water. Cara looks little surprised when I wrap it to her neck, then she smiles. I know how it helps to her, she had been so sick when she had been expecting Allen. I place my hands to her shoulders, feel how tense she is. I gently start to rub those, hear how she sighs with relief. Her mother is still talking and she is giving back one syllable answers. I can see that color is coming slowly back to her face, she had been little pale and even greenish.

"Yes, of course I want..." she looks to me and smiles a bit "we want to talk with them!" she replies to something that her mother had said and turns on the speaker. It takes just a short time before we get to hear Allen's voice, questioning. "Mom? Dad? Ale you evel coming back home to me?". I can hear Beata from the background, just trying out talk. "Mam-mam-mam-ma". A tear drops from Cara's eye to her cheek. "Mom and dad are here and we are coming back to home tomorrow. Your granny has been organizing us tickets and we will see you at Monday morning.". I can hear how Allen sighs, Beata just continues "Da-da-da-da-da?". It's my turn to feel a lump back in my throat. I cough a bit before answering to her. "Yes, daddy is here too and we will come to home as soon as possible, to you." Cara turns to look up to me, hope in her eyes. "We will come together, mom and dad both." I confirm and another tear falls to her cheek. "Thanks" she mouthes to me. "What have you done?" She asks and Allen starts a long story of drawings that he had done, places where they have been, what they have eaten and all the time Cara just looks to me, smiling through her tears. When Allen finally pauses I say "oh, that all sounds so nice what you have done and you must show those drawings at first moment when we see but now mom and I must go to eat something and then we will get some present to you and to Beata." Allen giggles "What you will get to me daddy?" he asks and I smile back "It's a mystery, you will see." Allen sighs but then he asks hopefully "Can you get a dlagon to me? Momma says that thele's no dlagons but..." I can hear Dara saying something at the back, something about Allen's obsession of dragons. "I can look out but I'm afraid that there isn't any dragons left in here and wouldn't it be a dangerous pet? Breathing fire and all..." Allen giggles again "I could teach it, no file ol smoke inside the house." I can see Cara rolling her eyes before replying "of course you could dearest but now mommy and daddy must go. Give a kiss to your sister and momma. Kisses, love you darling, be a big boy, two nights and we will see again, mommy misses you so much..."

When she hangs up she just looks down to her hands, to the phone, now with black screen. I look to her hands too, standing next to her, unsure what to say, just wondering what she is thinking. Then I see a tears dropping to her hands, one after another. She is crying silently, without sobs, just big, hot tears, one after another. I place my hand back to her shoulder and then she finally looks up, meet my eyes. "You really mean it? You are coming back to home, with us, me and kids?" she asks. I meet her eyes, just wondering hasn't it been clear. "Yes, I'm coming back to home with you. I'm incapable to leave you, I..." then I have to look away, down to my toes. I cannot say it, not yet. "I'm coming back home and where ever our home will be, I will be with you, I will take care of you, if that's what you want. But if you ever..." I turn to look to her, meet her eyes, see tears running down to her cheeks. "Just... don't break my heart again. I'm coming back to home because it's the only thing that I can do now, election coming up and everything. But we need some counseling, not at home I think, not before the election but after it, if we want to keep our marriage working. If you want me to trust in you again. Now I'm coming back to home just because of the kids, all of them and..." I have to look away, I can see how my words hurt her again. "Don't get me wrong Cara, you are the one and only to me, you always have been. You are the one that I have wanted, that I have dreamed of but you hurt me so deeply, so bad that it takes time to heal." Then I look back to her "And there will be some scars always in my heart from those wounds that you made. I know that what I did wasn't fair, it wasn't nice but I felt that I didn't have any choice to do anything else. That is why we need that counseling but this is wrong time, there's too much going on with this election, with the Bureau, with... everything." I almost said with Matthew but I don't want to say his name.

Cara nods, bites her lip a bit. "I know." That's all she says, standing up. "i just put on something, lets go and get something to eat and then hunt that dragon to Allen..." she says and manages to give a small smile. She is standing there, almost as tall as I am and this time I don't step back, not make way to her to pass. My left hand is still on her shoulder and I wrap my right hand to her waist, pulling her closer to me, giving her a hug. Her head rest on my shoulder, she feels small and warm at my arms. I raise my right hand to her chin, lift it up and make her to look up to me. We are really close, haven't been like this for ages or so it feels. I place a small kiss to her lips and she answers. Just small kisses, full with hope and promises. Then I step back, let her pass me.

It doesn't take long for her to be ready, she doesn't waste time. I look up to latest news, there is so many casualties from that train accident that it surely is one of biggest accidents of our lifetime. There are lists of killed passengers, those who are confirmed, rolling with speed in alphabetical order. Once again I spot Kiara's foster parents names, wondering how it will affect to us or to Four's life. Cara takes her bag and looks to me "Let's go, I'm really starving and I'm afraid that if I don't get anything to eat soon I will be throwing up all day." That is a threat that works to me, I turn of the telly and take my coat. Cara looks to me and my coat. "Are you sure that you need it?" She asks but then takes a warm cardigan. It's just late spring, a bit cloudy day and the wind has been little cold lately.

There isn't any breakfast service left at the hotel, it's so late that service is over, so we head to nearby cafeteria and I make Cara to order anything and everything that she wants. It takes some time for her to choose and we end up with table full of everything that looks so tasty and with first bites it's confirmed that it doesn't end there. I want to ask from her phone call with her mother but food takes victory, we just eat so much that we can, I get some coffee and Cara drinks apple juice. She looks to my coffee cup with longing gazes but doesn't even want to taste when I offer. I don't think that one or two sips of coffee could do something harm but she is determined to do everything right. That is one thing that I admire. When we are ready I pay the bill and we look to each other. "What shall we do? Try to find that dragon for Allen?" I ask and Cara smiles. "If we go to that shopping mall by the Bay, there is some toyshops and if I remember correctly there is some bookshops too. I think that we can find a dragon or two from there." I offer my hand to her, help her up and she laces her finger to mine. We walk hand in hand, just enjoying the day. It's almost too easy, too easy to slip back to those days when we had just started to go out together, when we were freshly married, too easy to forget and to forgive. But what could I win if I wouldn't forgive? I'm sure that I will not forget, ever but I know that there is too much to loose if I don't forgive.

Children are playing by the peer, skipping ropes and skate boards are everywhere and their laughter fill the air. It's kind of funny, to hear those old rhymes when they jump, same verses than we used as kids. Well, I think that I never jumped, but Cara surely had, she looks to me and smiles. There is a old woman, selling roses and without thinking I stop there, by one for Cara. She looks the rose, then to me, smiles and reaches out to give one little kiss, there in the public. I don't mind, it actually feels quite nice. "I love you too" she whispers and I just smile to her. Too easy, to tempting to slip back into those old times but why should I hold the grudge? What would I win with it? Nothing. I hear seagulls, their shrieks remind me of that one summer when I was a kid. I used to go out with my father in different places, just two of us and one lazy Sunday we ended up just walking around the marsh area, no reason why. I remember that there were seagulls, I was wondering where they went by the winter but surely it was one sign of spring and summer, hearing those white birds. Those shrieks gave me shivers back then as they do now, they are some sort of wild. There was a old ice cream booth, little crooked and I got an ice cream that melted in the sun, getting all gooey, made my hand sticky. I remember my fathers smile, patience when he wiped all sticky evidence of indulgence away before we got back to home. I had forgotten all about it and when we reach the shopping mall I see the booth selling ice creams next to it. It looks old, little rusty but so familiar, even when it's clearly not the same booth. I tell that tale to Cara and she looks to me, little surprised. "You speak so little of your childhood." She says and I have to look away, so she won't see water in my eyes. She stops, places her free hand to my chest and whispers "hey, it doesn't make you weak, you know, it explains a lot to me. What you do with Allen, how you interact with him, take him to places - your father did the same. Only that you have bigger world to show to Allen than he had to show to his son. It was his way to say that he loved you."

Before I get to answer to her my phone rings, disturbing that moment. It's Shauna, she's asking if we are coming to support Four during the marathon. "We are organizing that there is someone familiar to him giving support at each fluid station, there are me, Christina, Amar and Evelyn so we need you two too." I have to agree, it's easier and she sounds happy when saying "just get to the fluid station at the 22 miles, that's the free one and then there is a short way to finishing line too, I bet that you want to come there too. And we will see then! Bye!" I sigh and give news to Cara and she just nods, smiling. "Of course we do that! Four is our friend. But first... we buy some ice creams!" She leads me to booth.

It's hard to decide what flavor to choose, first I'm going to pick up vanilla but then turn to strawberry, Cara is sure from the beginning that she wants chocolate but then changes it to something that they call mudcake. It still looks like chocolate I think. We sit down to nearby bench to enjoy that small indulging moment. Eating ice cream isn't so messy as I remembered and it surely tastes good, better than I remembered. Cara finished first, closed her eyes and leaned back. "You know, I could easily get used in living like this. This isn't worst place to be, quite beautiful and safe. If you get elected moving here could be a new start for us." I cannot agree more. "But what if I'm not elected? Would you still move?" She opens her eyes, looking little perplexed. "What do you mean by that?" I shrug, I'm not sure but sooner or later I have to make some backup plans. I'm not going back to city council, that's sure but what do I want to do, if I'm not elected to the Government?

When I get my ice cream finished we head to the mall and get some shopping done. We don't find any live dragons but a fearsome stuffed dragon toy that is more than a small boy could ask, I think. I don't know where Allen gets his interest in dragons and dinosaurs, not from me, that's sure. Maybe it's all the books that Cara and Dara had read to him. Cara keeps on looking something for Beata too, she doesn't have yet any strong interests. Finally Cara picks a plush elephant with a pink bow. It looks cute, I must admit. Cara smiles and heads to the cashier but I hesitate, seeing a basket full of small white teddy bears. She looks back, wondering and I have to ask "And for the one that is coming? Or two?" For a brief moment she bites her lower lip, looks away and then sighs and shakes her head. "I have too big fears, I don't trust in this is going to continue as it should so... lets not take any, in case of something bad happens. It would always remind of what we lost." I nod but disagree in my mind. I don't say anything, this is not a place or time to start an argument. Then I hear a familiar voice, Amar has come to this shop too, getting something to their children - how many he and George did have? Two? Three? Cara talks with him so I head to cashier, taking two of those teddies. I'm now quite sure that everything will be fine after all but I don't have to show these to Cara in the case of something happens to baby or babies. I just dispose one or both in secret or give to some other baby. I pay the bill, crab a bag and head to Cara and Amar. They are joking, Cara is teasing him on something that has happened ages ago and Amar just keeps on laughing. This is something that I envy of her, something that I wish that I could do too. She is so relaxed and easy to approach, she would be a good politician

Amar escorts us to the fluid station at 22 miles."You have about a hour before first runners come so take it easy and just enjoy of the moment! And the finishing line is at the Peer, on the end of it. You just go through the mall and exit from the east side doors, then you hit the Peer's have planned a meeting up there, so you two must come too And we will see at the after party at the evening too, won't we?" Cara nods "Of course we will be at the finishing line and then to the party, no need to ask." She kisses Amar's cheek, whisper something that makes him laugh. Then Amar turns to me, shakes my hand with a polite smile "See you too - when will you come to my training team?" Before I get to answer he is already jogging away. "Don't worry of his words, he supports Four, he always has so don't take it personally, he doesn't mean anything with that training comment." Cara tries to assure but I just wonder that do I really look like being out of shape, big fat sloppy man? No, I'm nothing alike that Four was a year ago, I know that he has done a lot of work and he is in good shape now but I don't think that I look like that I should start to work out, I have kids, I'm a married man with responsibilities, I cannot spend my days running around! I notice that Cara keeps looking at my face and I manage to smile to her. "Don't worry, I'm not running away, but... If you sit down here for a while, we do have some time before runners come to this point and I have something that I need to do before that." Cara sits down, little puzzled but then leans back and closes her eyes. "This is just... like being on a vacation or something. A warm day, no wind, seagulls making shrieks... Just hurry back, I don't want to waste this day by sitting here alone."

I know where to go, we had passed one shop when Amar led us to fluid station, it's not far away. I just want to buy something for Cara, something to remind of this moment, this week, this year, everything. I'm, not sure what it is but when I get to the shop and get some assistance it comes easily. I head back to Cara with small packed in my pocket, just waiting for a right moment to give it to her. They are closing the roads and there are some camera crew already waiting for the action to begun when I get back. Cara is chatting with some black haired woman and helping her to fill up mugs, there is some men that gets bags and boxes full of water, energy drinks, banana and other food and beverages to serve. I hurry up to help them and we get the stand up and organized just in time. I can hear from the peoples cheers and clapping that first runners are approaching. "They are making new record today, I think" says a man standing next to me when first runners come up and then shouts "Just little over four miles to go, looking good, keep up!" To first runners. Runners don't spend much time at the fluid station and they leave a track of trash after them. Some runners look dazed, some are just in pain that they make me mentally roll my eyes but I clap my hands, smile, shout to them "looking good, keep up" like everyone else does. I don't see anyone that I know for a long time and my hands are getting sore, my throat is dry. I help up getting more mugs to station when Cara shouts "Alexa is coming - and Four just after her!". I just smile to Alexa, trying to support her mentally but I bet that she doesn't even notice me, she looks so concentrated. I just manage to empty my hands when Four is there and I raise my thumbs up for him. He sees it and rolls his eyes, I bet that he's thinking something negative of me but it doesn't matter.

"That was your friend, wasn't he?" Asks the woman that chatted with Cara before and when Cara nods she offers her hand and shakes first Cara's hand, then mine. "Thanks for your help and support for the runners, you are free to go now - next groups will be arriving in no time and new helpers are waiting for their turn to do the service for the rest of the race. "There is a underpass a block in that way, so you can get to other side of the track and to the finishing line in no time." Indeed there are some young men and women standing behind of us, fresh refreshments in their hands. We make way to them and hurry to the way where she pointed. We manage to get to the finishing area just in time. First I don't see anyone that I recognize but then I spot Evelyn, Four's mother and realize that there is Christina and Shauna standing next to her, Christina waving to us. It takes time to get there, here is so much people packed in small space but finally we manage to get there. I feel some hand on my shoulder and almost jump out of my skin but it's only Amar. He's little sweaty and out of breath, he has run from his station just to get here in time. "Has he come yet?" Amar asks and Christina shakes her head "No, but he has passed the 26miles check point so he will be hre in no time." I see Alexa coming, she has given it all and looks like she's ready to faint when she passes the finishing line. Some member of the staff gets to her, places his hand to her shoulders and escorts her little to the side when she just closes her eyes, bends down and and throws up. Nasty! I turn to look to other runners and then I spot Four, having a look in his face that he might too puke at any moment. "You DID it!" we shout and he crosses the finishing line, looking relieved. There is so much noise around but I manage to hear how the commentator reads Fours finishing time; 3.08.13. "That's a really good time! Far better than we were aiming for in our practice." Amar says little surprised but looking like a proud dad. Four is escorted to somewhere back and we head there in a group. It takes some time and when we finally spot him again he's standing there next to Alexa, his hand around her waist and he's looking to mr Matthews with challenging look. Before I get to say anything I see how Evelyn walks to Four, says something to Alexa and shakes her hand. I can hear mr Matthews question "Evelyn Johnson?" and her reply. Then Cara is pushing herself through and I try to make way to her so she won't get punched in to stomach. Here is just too many people around here, I think.


	45. Four's pov 22

\- Four's pov -

"Lets walk." I hear Alexa's low voice, she is shifting weight from one foot to another. "I need to keep on gong or my legs will cramp up badly, I need so me fluids and salts too, so lets get something to drink." My mother keeps on talking with mr Matthews, it's almost like she's flirting with him. It's hard to get over it, my mother knows him from the past, they definitely had something going on back then and it shows how they talk now to each others, like there isn't no one else present. Cara is talking with Shauna and Christina, Caleb reads some results or something from the large boards and only Amar is looking to us. He notices, like everyone else has I bet, how close Alexa stands to me, how her arm is around my waist, how I keep her close to me. He must be the only one that notices when we leave.

There is a large tent with refreshments reserved for runners only; lots of food, fresh fruits and vegetables, large variety on drinks; water, juices, sports drinks, even coffee and tea. Other runners have gathered in small groups, comparing their times, charing this experience. Alexa excuses herself, she needs to go to toilet. "Just get me some fruits and mineral water, would you." she asks before she goes and I head to tables filled with all goods. When I reach for the mineral water bottles that lie in ice bath some other man stands next to me. "It was a good day to run, wasn't it?" He says and I take a short look to his direction before answering "yes, it was, perfect weather and a good day." Andrew smiles to me with his self assured smile. "I was hoping to catch you, I have some important news but I didn't want to call or to mail these to you, in case that you are tapped. " I raise my eyebrow and then head to free table. Why does he assume that someone is reading my mails or eavesdropping my phone? Andrew follows me, sits down opposite. He has just one red apple, he's playing with it, tossing from hand to another and back. I resist the urge to grab that apple away from him.

He looks around first before lowering his voice to confidential tone. "I have arranged a train cart to us. Whole car so you can select your team to Chicago and start your last month of the campaign with flying colors. I know you have some meeting at Monday morning, there is a reservation in your time table for that and then Johanna keeps asking when you are coming so you must get to Chicago as soon as possible. And then there is some of your closest friends and relatives here, they might want to go to home too. Then is our, your team too, most of them are from Chicago, so it's good for them to get to there as soon as possible, when the campaign heats up." I nod and wait for him to continue. "As you know there was that train accident and the tracks are damaged. There is no train service to Chicago in next two or three weeks so the train will take us to Indianapolis and we continue by bus - it's a long ride and we will arrive to Chicago at early hours but we will make it and we will be ready for the last month, the only month that really matters. We are leaving just little after the open air concert tomorrow, so it's possible that most of the people won't realize that you are gone before you give first interviews from home. That could be a big advantage for us in the campaign. And I have arranged you the access to train accident site, so you can pay your respects and see the damage and all stuff like that, show how deeply moved you are and so on." I just look to him and then manage to smile "So how many seats you have reserved?". It might not be the answer he was waiting for but Andrew just beams back. "I have reserved the special cart, so there is 58 seats, one meeting room and then also small bar or cafeteria or something like that, There will be a meal service, beverages, some pampering to our team. How many seats you need?" I try to calculate fast before answering "I think that 8 is enough, 10 at tops". He nods and starts to rise when I look to him directly "Thanks, you are the best assistant that I could have." This time his smile is genuine, bit self-satisfied thou, but for a reason. "Don't thank to me, thank J when you meet her."

Johanna? How she had arranged this all? Had she given orders to Andrew or what was going on? Then I look around, there isn't many people inside the tent, most are outside, chatting in small groups. Where's Alexa? I cannot see her, she said that she was going to toilet, so she should be already here, I suppose. Then I spot her, she is chatting with her father, some heated up conversation going on by the looks on their faces. They don't seem happy, both share the same displeased body language. Alexa says something and James turns to look directly to me with a frown, then he turns back to her. I can see a triumphant smile on her face before she nods and he shakes his head to her. She says something, he turns back to me and nods. I nod back, wondering what she had said. Then James turns back to his daughter, picks his phone from the pocket and browses short while before turning it to her and hands it to her. She takes it, looks and then shakes her head and almost throws it back to her father, holding one finger up and apparently lecturing him. This time I get an impression of sadness from him, he shakes his head when she is shouting to him. Then she turns, almost runs away, to me. James looked after her, placing his phone back to pocket and turning then away. Then I turn my gaze to her, see the obvious discomfort and anger all over her face. Something in her facial expression, maybe the way how she holds her chin up, reminds strongly of her brother Eric. Same gestures, same look, same bone structure, same bloodline. I feel chills going down on my spine, something, someone that I don't want to remember is haunting me and it's terrifying to see it in her. Angriness remains in her eyes even when her lips turns into smile, a fake smile for me. She takes the water bottle and drinks thirsty from it, long gulps. Finally she bangs the nearly finished bottle to the table,

"Why did you pay to Thomas?" is her first question and I look to her, not fully understanding to whom she is referring, who is Thomas. "You know, that security guard last night, when you slipped away from my apartment at the midnight?" Ah, now I know who. "I just... I thought that you don't want your father to find out. He has made it so clear to me at least that he doesn't want me to anywhere near to you. The further, the better, or at least that's the image that I have gotten." She bits her lower lip and shakes her head. "You don't get it, my father already knew that you had been there, he had been informed straight away when we had entered the building and he called to me when you were reading the bedtime story to Kiara. Paying to Thomas yo keep him silent just made my father to think that... you are ashamed that someone connects you and me, tying to hide the evidence, using your money and your position to gain what you want at any cost and hat you are just using me... to hurt my father more or something. That you don't have genuine feelings to me, you just use me as an weapon." I cannot look to her eyes, I have to look down and compose myself. "Look, I never mean to hurt you, I did it just.. .I didn't know that your father already knew of us. I thought that I was just protecting you, protecting us... That you wouldn't get hurt." I say, raise my gaze and see the angriness blaze again in her eyes. "I can take care of myself!" she hisses, then sighs and rolls her eyes. "My fathers isn't that bad than you seem to think."

"That leads to another question. What did you tell your mother?" She asks slowly, I shrug, I'm not sure what she means. Alexa rolls her eyes. "Don't try that, I know you have told her something, she came all over my father with these assumptions of our relationship and obviously you had told to her something like that you are madly in love with me and you are going to marry me and start a family and we already have a child that you have been hiding from her and so on." She speaks fast and it takes some time for her words to sink in. "I said nothing like that... Well, she did see a photo that you sent to me, you and Kiara together. She had heard some rumors about me having a girlfriend, I don't know from where and from whom. She asked just after you sent that photo and it felt easy to open up to her, to show that picture. She recognized immediately Kiara as my daughter without me telling it, she saw who her mother is on her too, she doesn't think that you are her biological mother but I explained the facts to her, just to make sure. And she was... surprised. I assume that it's just her hopes for me to get steady relationship, to get married and have children of my own that makes her to jump into conclusions." She snorts for reply and looks away, avoiding my gaze, deep in her thoughts. We sit there, silence falls between us like a heavy cloud. She starts to play with her bottle, spins it around. Finally she gathers her guts, looks up challenging, straight into my eyes and sighs. "Well, are you?" I know what she means and in that moment I would so much like to play some time. Look on her face, on her beautiful face says that this is not right time for that, she needs to hear it from me. It just feels that it's too soon to talk about the depth of my feelings and part of me is scared what they can lead us.

I might blush a bit but I keep on looking back to her. Angriness vanishes from her eyes, her features turns softer, she blushes bit too. Before I get to say anything she clears her throat and says with small, soft voice, filled with emotions. "Because I think that... I... I could... I mean... in the future.., or something... like... or something... I could fall in lo... I mean that I could like you. A lot. I... already do like you a lot.". She's still playing with the bottle so I take her hand into mine, brush her knuckles with my thumb. She looks down to our joined hands, then back to me, to my eyes. She wants to hear and I need to be honest to her. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in, then slowly out before looking to her straight in her eyes. " I told to my mother that I have met someone that... " I cough and continue "someone who is special to me. Very special." I bet that I'm blushing a bit more. She smiles and whispers softly "you are special to me, so special it almost freaks me out..." She keeps on looking to me and I smile for reply. "I'm afraid too. I fear..." she rises her eyebrow but says nothing. "I fear that this doesn't end up well." I manage to continue and she looks to me questioning "Why you think so?" I shrug, my fingers still caressing hers. "It's just... old things, old wounds that haven't healed, never will. I'm afraid that if I ever allow anyone to get close to me I end up loosing her, end up heartbroken, in sorrow and self-hatred." There is pity, sadness, sorrow in her eyes before she covers my hand, that is still holding hers with another hand. "It's never too late, maybe you haven't found the right cure..." She looks up, over my shoulder and shuts up. I look over my shoulder and see Amar approaching. "Am I interrupting on something?" he asks politely, nodding to our joined hands. Alexa pulls her hand away fast, like my hand suddenly burns hers. "no, I was just about to leave..." She says and nods to Amar. "It's always nice to meet you but this time I don't have time for chat, I must go and find my father, he had some urgent matters for me to take care of." She stands up and I rice too, wondering if I could kiss or at least hug her. "Later, Toby..." she says with polite smile and walks away.

"Toby?" Amar says, hint of amusement and question in his voice. I shrug, not replying to him. "So are you and her... seeing each others? A couple or friends with benefits?" he asks after a while and I look to him. "It's complicated but... in some way yes. I mean... we have just met and... this might turn to something like seeing each others, dating or something." I confess to him and he claps his hand to my shoulder, broad smile on his face. "Good for you! " I crab his hand, hold it tight and look deep in his eyes. "Never ever say that again. I'm so fed up of everyone going on that same line, how it's good for me. Don't you start with that. Not now, never. I. Don't. Want. To. Hear. It. Not from you, not from anybody." He releases his hand easily and looks to me with some concern. "Edgy, but anyway, that isn't why I came." Before he gets to say anything else all the rest of my friends arrive, Shauna and Christina bursting out questions about Alexa and they don't accept evasive answers. "I don't know, I don't want to say" are not the type they are looking for. Finally I raise my hands, laughing. "Just, I will not comment more, time will tell what is going on or not. Now lets go and find my mother. There is two things I want to do, first I need a shower and then something to eat. And you were so supportive so dinner's on me. I feel like I could eat whole cow and some dessert after it..." They agree, what else could they do. We find my mother soon, she is looking for us and make quick decisions. I go to home for a shower and change, others will head to the nearby restaurant and wait me there. We leave together and walk first mile together and Christina slows her steps so we fall behind of others.

"Is everything ok?" She asks and looks to me, genuine concern in her eyes. I smile a bit before nodding. "Everything is just fine." is my answer, little evasive, I must agree. I know she won't leave it there. "The rumors say that she's Eric's little sister." She comments, waiting my confirmation. "Yes she is, but it doesn't matter." She looks surprised "it doesn't?" I shake my head "It's so long ago and she's not Eric, nor she is guilty on those crimes that he did. And it doesn't bother her, to know that I'm the man who executed her brother." Knowing Christina she isn't going to leave it there, I bet she has tons of questions ready but I don't want to answer. I look away from her, see how Caleb and Cara are walking together, holding hands, how Caleb looks little shyly to Cara when she doesn't see it. Cara is talking with Amar, my mother and Shauna are walking together, Shauna laughs on something that my mother just said. It's good to see how Shauna walks, it looks almost natural, easily flowing steps. She has gone far from those days in wheelchair. We all have gone far since those days and it's like Christina's thoughts follow the same path than mine are wandering. "How many years it has been since..." she starts after a while and I stop, give a sharp look to her. "Don't." I command with sharp tone, Four's commanding tone but this time it doesn't have same kind of effect than it had in those days when I was her instructor. She shakes her head. I look away, feelings of guilt and remorse sweeping over me. I don't want to hear her wonders of how many years it had been since Tris, I don't want to think of her. Nor I don't want to hear again those "good for you to move on" phrases, like it's something they need to say, boost my ego, boost my relationship with Alexa with those idiomatic expressions. I can see how she bites her lip, thinking of something. Then she sighs again. "It's just... I have been wondering if I ever find someone to love, someone to stand by me when we grow old, when our hair turn gray and we get wrinkles around our eyes. It's just... You give me hope that there can be still someone out there, just if I'm willing and open to find it." She finally says and I see how Cara peeks back to us. "Are you coming or gossiping back there, because if you are gossiping I need to hear it too!" She shouts and Christina quickens her steps, so do I.

We find a restaurant that can serve our group from just two blocks away from my apartment so I take a fast look from a menu outside, decide what to eat, ask others to order it for me and walk quick to my place. A shower, fresh clothes and a quick look to mirror. I'm just about to leave when I see my phone on the table. Screen is flashing, I have two missed calls and three messages. Calls are from Johanna and I'm about to call back to her but first I read the messages. There is a confirmation for the train tickets, I have ten tickets for my party. Then there is message from Johanna, asking when we will meet, suggesting Monday afternoon and a message from Alexa. She wants to see me in the open air concert tomorrow. I text back answers, confirming both meetings. The dinner arrives almost same time than I get to restaurant, food is good, so is the company. When we are finishing our dinner Caleb asks if anyone knows how long the train service to Chicago is out of order, it's almost impossible to get back home. "Don't worry, I have tickets for us, we are going to Indianapolis and from there by bus to Chicago. It's all organized already, all you have to say is thanks." They look surprised, others thank me but Caleb just looks me straight in my eyes. "Why would you give a train ticket to me? Your opponent, the one you are racing in this election? You could gain a huge advantage by getting to Chicago in time and leaving me behind."


	46. Caleb's pov 22

\- Caleb's pov -

Fours announcement of the train tickets comes to us as an huge surprise. He just raises his hand. "Don't say anything, it's yours, take it or leave it. In other ways it might take few weeks before there is any rail services to home. And now, if you don't mind, I have to excuse myself. It was a long and hard run today and I'm ready to head home." Amar stands up and leaves with him, rest of us stay in the restaurant little longer, getting another cups of coffee and chat little bit longer. It's nice to spend time with friends and this time I don't feel like an outsider than I have been sometimes. Some subjects are left outside from the conversation, the election for example. No need to talk politics. It's close to midnight but night is still warm when we leave the restaurant. Others are heading to some pub but Cara yawns so much already that we decide to head to our hotel. We make plans that we will meet tomorrows outdoor concert, that would bee last event of this quite epic week. I can't believe that it has been only one week! So much has changed in such a short time.

"I still don't get it, why did he offer those tickets to us." I say when we are left together. Fours offer was so unexpected and he just had shrug for the answer to my question, like take-it-or-leave-it-I-don't-care. Of course we had accepted his offer, it was a really generous one but still it was bit weird. I wonder what his inner motives are, why he made this kind offer at this stage of election process. Doesn't make any sense or does it? Shows how good sportsman he is, how generous, how thoughtful. If it had been vice versa had I done same? Offered him train tickets? To be honest I'm not sure, it would have been tempting just leave him behind. It bugs to admit that he is better man than I would be in reverse situation.

Cara just sighs and rolls her eyes, we had gone this conversation through few times already. "Maybe he's just appreciating the friendship more than the rivalry? Maybe he thinks that this way he has your full support if he's the one that get elected" she says. "It's just now he has the upper hand I think and we owe him one big favor back. Only reason that I can think of why he wants us to take those tickets is that he needs my company and support on Mondays meeting with the Bureau."

Cara looks little surprised, then smiles "Oh, I had forgotten that totally, you said that Four had some evidences and you two are going to confront Matt to end the Bureaus plans to make GP:s." She replies and continues after awhile "I want to come too, see those evidences and Matt's face when you two have allied and throw all that to his face. I want to say to him that I won't take that job which he offered to me." I look away, then back to her "I don't think that it's a good idea for you to come, I have a hunch that it will be quite dirty confrontation and..." I say and Cara just keeps on walking, without answering for a long while.

"It's good to get back home, I think. I really miss our kids." She finally says when we are just two blocks away from our hotel, its sign showing above these smaller buildings. I look to her, questioning. "Do I have a home to return, I mean... do you want me back to home?" I ask and she stops there. looks to me astonished. "Of course you have a home to return, it have never been a question here. Only question has been that do you want to return." I have to look away, to the ground and kick a small pebble before looking back to her. "I thought that... you don't love me anymore when you did... what you did... and you didn't want me anymore. That I had disappointed you, not being enough to meet your demands." She shakes her head vigorously. "I thought that you didn't want us anymore, you didn't want to be with me after what I did. And it was you who got ring away from the finger, left it behind and moved away." It hurts to hear her say that but it's the truth, there's no way to escape from it. I cannot meet her gaze but she reaches out to hold my hand. It feels so nice. I take a shy look to her. "It's good to know that I can come back. Just one thing. What have you told to your mother or to Allen, I mean Beata don't understand that much yet but to our kids about my moving away and all of that... what happened?".

She looks away, continues then walking to the hotel. "I told to mother that we have had some arguments and issues that we need to solve out and there is some huge difficulties in our marriage. I tell my mother almost everything but if it helps she has been at your side mostly. She doesn't blame you for moving away, she said that it's about time finally that Priors son shows his balls." She giggles a bit and I blush. It doesn't comfort a bit, hearing that my mother-in-law said something like that... awkward! "And what about Allen?" I ask and she sighs. "I told to him that there is so much before the election that you need to work really hard and you need some time alone. He said that he doesn't want you to win, he wants you to be his dad full time and not to move away.". It's like dagger stabbed to my chest. I take a deep breath. "I hope that if I win I could still be his dad and it does mean that we have to move here but if I don't win... then... I'm not sure what I'm going to do." She stops and looks to me. "Do you mean professionally or..." She asks. "Mostly professionally. I know that my chances are slim for victory, I know that Four is leading in polls and I bet that with Johanna's unlimited support he's going to win. This going against the Bureau is helping his cause too, making him look like a knight in shining armor, smashing down that evil empire. Or something. If or mostly when I loose I can still choose that if I want to continue in city council, they offered chairmans seat to me to next season if I'm going to continue but politics are so... Well I think that I want some new challenges and I have been searching out for new jobs. I like when we worked together at the laboratory back in those good days, when we were colleagues. And then the arboretum here, the botanical gardens, where we had that great ball at the beginning of the week, that was a magnificent place. Something that I would like to work in, saving the planet and environment."

I can see how she nods to my plans. "They all sound fine, I didn't know about that chairmans seat, that's an honor but I'm supporting you, what ever you choose, just... I want you back home, to live with us, to share our life. When you left... I thought that I'm going to die. I made so huge mistakes in my choices that I understand if your future choices doesn't include me or our children but..." She is about to continue when I spot a car, parked opposite to hotels entrance. "Hus Cara, this is not the time nor the place for this conversation. I have a bad feeling about this." I say and take a look to that car. As I say that the front door opens and young man in suit gets out from that car. Little bruised, few fresh looking scars, little limp when he walks to us. "Mr an Mrs Prior?" He asks and I take a look to Cara, she has gone pale and looks down to her toes. Then I turn facing that man. "Who wants to know?" I ask trying to hide any discomfort that his intensive stare and the fact that he obviously knows who we are makes. I can see that he sighs a little and makes a wry smile. "My apologises, I'm Lucas and I present mr Andrews. He would like a private word or two with you mr Prior, alone. My orders are to take you with me and my colleague Dylan will escort your wife to hotel and keep her company while you are taken to mr Andrews." I see how another man, dressed just like the man that is talking to us, steps out from the car, leaving the door open to backseat.

"Do we have any other choices than to do this?" I whisper to Cara, looking how the man, addressed as Dylan approaches. "I don't think so" she whispers back, then gives little kiss to my cheek and a big, fake smile to men standing opposite to us. "Well then, you go darling and have a nice chat with our friend James, tell to him that I'm really looking forward meeting him and how happy I'm that he had finally proposed my mother." She says that so loudly that men must hear that but not a single muscle moves in their faces, they are not impressed but I can see why she said that. To make us, to make me seem important.

Lucas escorts me to the backseat and sits next to me. I look out from darkened window and see a glimpse of Cara being escorted firmly to the hotel. Then we turn from the corner and all I see are the same streets we just walked. Man seated next to me, Lucas that was, reaches out for his phone and I can see a reflection of his white shirt from window, Next to white shirt is some dark object, maybe a handgun. I wonder what I have gotten myself into. "Ten minutes" is everything that he says to phone and puts it back to pocket.

There isn't much traffic at this time, streets are almost empty. No wonder, it's close to midnight already, I didn't realize that it's so late. Finally car slows down, parks near the entrance of familiar building. Wasn't this by the bay, near the marathons finishing line? I'm not good in directions and this darkness doesn't help me. Someone opens the door next to me and Lucas nods to me. "Just step outside, mr Prior." He follows me and nods to the man that opened the door. "Thanks Thomas. Is mister M at top floor?" Thomas nods back "Where else would he be?" he says Lucas escorts me to door and further to the elevator. He uses his keycard and selects the top floor. It takes some time before we get to the large lobby. Lucas points to open door. "He's waiting for you, just step in, to the corridor on the left and to last room on the right. That's his home office. I'm waiting here." In that way I know there's only one way I must go, enter to James Matthews apartment. I just wonder why he wanted to meet me, today, in this hour.

Apartment is dimly lit, most of light comes from the room at the end of the corridor, that must be where he's waiting for me. My steps slow down, I have doubts that should I go or wait, what is waiting for me. Then I hear some voices, coming from that room, a female and a male talking. Soon I recognize them, James is talking with his daughter. ""Just remember that tomorrow is important, I don't want to confront him in the court and that's where this all is leading eventually it he truly has all the evidence that he has bragged to have. You need to gain his full trust and get yourself in his home, I don't mind what you do to in the process." There is a silence and I'm wondering it it's Four that he is referring. Then James continues. "Just remember for now on that you need to take your daily medication, no questions asked and no skipping a single day. It's the only way to make you feel better, to stabilize your... emotions. You have skipped too many days now and if it continues like this I have to keep you in tighter leash if you continue neglecting your treatment that doctors have described to you." I hear how Alexa tries to protest to that but James doesn't let her speak. "Don't say anything you might regret! You don't want take that road Erica. You have done so good job so far, just keep on going like that and you have hooked him. Play in our team, don't fight against, remember who your true enemy really is. But... now you must leave, I have an important meeting, he should be here in any time."

I back a bit in corridor and wait a while. She says something to his father, then I hear her high heel shoes tapping the floor, When she is about to reach the offices door I start walking. Alexa jumps little when I'm there, in the dark corridor but then she smiles to me. "My father is waiting for you." she whispers and walks away.


	47. Four's pov 23

AN: oh this has taken too long to update again, I have been too busy in rewriting another story that I have started years ago and just found again. But now I have a holiday so maybe I have some time to finish this up. I know how this all is going to end but it takes few chapters to get there... Again thanks for every comment and please have some patience with me. I publish this now, I have written more and hopefully will complete this story in my summer vacation (that is starting 22th July)

\- Four POV -

It's not so late but I feel tired when I excuse myself after the dinner and leave the restaurant and my friends. Amar follows me and I know that he has some questions, some probably ones that i don't want to answer. So I ask first. "What do you think about my performance in todays marathon?". Amar smiles shortly before answering. "I'm quite proud on what you did, remembering the shape that you were in less than a year ago. Your performance today was a job well done! But, to be honest, I didn't expect anything less from you, don't forget that I've known you so long." I smile to his words, our friendship indeed goes far. "And how are you and George, are you getting enough sleep with new baby and all?" This time it's his turn to laugh. "Oh, I think you are trying to avoid certain subjects. You know - I'm going to ask sooner or later, like it or not. You gave so evasive answers earlier so you know I will dig deeper for the truth." I know that he will but I'm not sure that I'm willing to answer.

It's not long walk to home for me and when we get there Amar hasn't asked anything about Alexa. "I know that you want to ask about me and my relationships and all but.. I need some advice, not in this matter but something far more serious, something that I need polices advice and... friends advice." Amar nods. "I'm all ears." is his reply and he stands still. "Let's get in first, I don't want to talk this in public." He smiles wryly. "If it's so serious than you make it sound are you sure that your apartment is a safe place to talk about those things?" I must admit that there is a bitter truth behind that question. I cannot be absolutely certain that my home is safe anymore, I bet that the Bureau can use any means to get what they want. "That's a risk I have to take, after running a marathon today I'm not able to walk any further." I have to reply and Amar nods. "Then we just must be careful in what we say, in a case that your home is wired."

My mother is in the kitchen, making some tea. She has a plate full of cookies, those thick triple chocolate ones that I haven't seen nor eaten in years. "Oh, you're back early! And I see that you have some company, even not the one that I was expecting." She smiles politely to Amar who nods back. I'm about to snap something back but my focus is still in those cookies. "Where did you buy those? Those look like the ones that..." Amar ends my sentence "the Dauntless had". Mother just smiles "Oh, these ones? I baked them myself and brought them with me." I look to my mother. "Come again? You baked them by yourself?" She nods. "I have had some free time and I found a book, well it was a series of books. There were various foods from different factions, how to make and bake them. Like these cookies, the Dauntless chocolate cake, some Abnegation food, Amity food like Amity bread... and lots of more."

I stare my mom, so does Amar. "Why would anyone want to bake some Amity bread?" I ask and mother shrugs. "I mean, I can very well understand why someone bakes these cookies or chocolate cake but come on… Amity bread!" I shake my head and crab handful of cookies. "To speak the truth, there is quite many who still think that old times were better and factions were the best thing that has happened to humankind. There are those who long for the past, those good old days. If you were more in Chicago you would have noticed it." My mother says and turns her back to me. I look to Amar and he just shrugs. "you had something that you needed me to look?" he says and takes a handful of cookies himself. I nod "Mother, if you don't mind..." and walk to my office, Amar follows.

We get to my office room, I sit down to my chair next to computer and Amar pulls a chair next to mine. We sip some tee and sit for awhile in a total silence. Then Amar cleared his throat and asked finally "so you had something that you wanted me to look?" I nod and then take the memory card. "I need some information, I need some names. You must have some co-workers that you trust and who can help in this case. But I need also some contacts to higher authorities. I have been so long away from Chicago so I don't know most of high ranking authorities anymore, nor the city councils. Well, I know Caleb but he cannot help in this case, he's too involved in this himself and his family is part of this too." Amar nods. "I can help you in that, but what sort of information you have in there?"

I sigh. "That's complicated... well, I'm sure that, most of the information is way over my understanding but some of the parts are just… wrong. There is strong evidence that the Bureau has continued working to gain more GP's and they are using young females in desperate need of money as surrogates." Amar nods "so I have heard too, but there hasn't been any evidence that could hold in court." I nod in my turn "but now there is." I start my computer and show him some files. Amar takes his reading classes and quickly browses through the documents that I have opened for him.

"You said that Caleb is involved in this business somehow?" Amar asks. I click the document that contains all data of Beata and see how Amar's eyes widen. "But you are too involved, now I see why you don't want to bring this out and open yourself." I shake my head. "I'm not afraid to stand against the Bureau, I'm ready to confront them out and open, but I'm afraid that they are not playing this nice. If I come out with my information I'm afraid that I risk my life and many more, including my daughter's life and she's the only thing that I have left from what I and Trish had back then, years ago." Amar looks serious when he nod slowly "And I can see that she's raised by Caleb and Cara. And if I read this correctly Cara was her surrogate mother? But you said that they used only poor, young girls – I don't see how Cara fits in that profile?" I shrug. "There has to be something else behind that, I know that Cara is good friends with Matthew, who has been Bureaus CEO these last years."

Amar looks to me. "If I remember correctly Cara was engaged to Matthew so you can really say that they are good friends. But you need someone who understand genetics to back you up in this case, not only some high standing authorities who understand law. This is way more complicated than a simple disobeying the law, if I understand correctly this has been going on for years and years!" He reads some more then shakes his head. "How this has been possible, why no one has stopped them?" he asks. I shrug. "Johanna tried and ended up to intensive care unit, maybe those who has tried previously hasn't been so lucky." Amar looks to me again, clearly thinking of something. "There are some cold cases, some researchers, doctors and so one that has gone missing. I think that I try to keep your name out from it as long as I can. Have you made any copies of this memory card?"

This is hard place. I'm sure that I can trust in Amar, he wouldn't betray me but if I tell that I have made several copies and I was going to sent those to people that I trust, to people that have some influence, to some media people too (a bit censored version but enough to raise some headlines). If I tell this to Amar and he gets caught he might tell those names that had received copies to his interrogators and put us all in danger. "I have one copy and I gave one copy to someone that I fully trust." Of course he asks immediately "Who?" and I slowly point to him. He laughs and after a short while I laugh too.

"Well then, I see what I can do. Your had train ticket for tomorrow?" I nod and give one ticket to him "and then there is few hours bus ride to home after that, I have all arrangements done. Well, Johanna did those, or her assistants back in Chicago." Amar takes the ticket and reads it. "The election day is getting closer and closer. What do you think will happen?" I shrug. "I'm not sure, I know I have had a strong lead but if it gets out and open that I'm sort of involved in this Bureaus scheming then it can affect to my voters. I have a meeting with Bureaus CEO on Monday, Caleb is coming too and I sort of hope that we have some conclusion then but in case that we don't it's good that I have this memory card and so do you. If anything happens to me..." Amar shakes his head. "I will not let anything to happen to you nor to Caleb. Your are under Chicago's finest protection before and after the election, didn't you know? My boss asked few of us to take this job and I was one assigned to protect you." When I raise my eye brown he continues "it's a common procedure." I nod and look to my watch, so does he.

Amar rises "it's getting late, I must leave. See you tomorrow at the charity concert?" I stand up and shake his hand. "thanks, see you." I escort Amar to door and take my cup to kitchen. My Mother is there and I can see from her face that she's about To ask some questions that I'm most certainly sure that I don't want to answer. She must have read my mind, she doesn't ask, just wishes good night.


	48. Four's pov 24

**\- Four's pow -**

My phone beeps when I get to my room, it's Amar. _"Remember to stretch or you won't be able to get out from your bed tomorrow!"_ I try to stretch a bit like he told, he got a point in his message but somehow I feel really tired, it has been a long day. I yawn and get to bed. I know already that my legs and back will be sore tomorrow but somehow I don't care now. I feel like I had won something, at least I won myself. This time last year I would have laughed hard if someone would have said I will be running some charity marathon. Just when I'm drifting to sleep I can hear my phone beeping. _I'll check that in morning_ is my last thought.

I sleep long, almost too long, peacefully whole night, no dreams. Those are best ones, I think. When I'm brushing my teeth I remember my phone. _"Meet me at the concert. I have something REALLY important to tell - A -"_ It's Alexa and before I know there is a wide smile . _"Just name the time and place, I will be there as soon as I can. Just woke up."_ It doesn't take long for her to reply _"same place where we met at the first time, one hour."_

Mother has made some coffee and left, she has written a short note next to my coffee cup. " _Went out to see an old friend :-)_ "I frown a bit, what friends might she possibly have here? Coffee tastes bit old but it wakes me up, opens my eyes. I pack some things I will need in Chicago, most of my stuff is still there, in my old apartment, only by business clothing and other work related stuff is here. I take my concert tickets and leave bit early, eager to see Alexa again.

Crowd is gathering together to the central park, some band is doing soundcheck, picnic tables are taken out and friends gather together. I don't see anyone I know, I walk bit further and then someone taps my shoulder. When I turn around I can see Alexa and Kiara giggling together. "You just walked right pass us!" Kiara says and shakes her head. I don't say anything, just rise my eyebrow and she continues "well... aunt Alexa said that we should hide and see if you could find us, but you couldn't."

Alexa smiles and shakes her head "I always forget, no secrets stays that way when there's kids involved... they speak only the truth. How are you feeling? You look bit... stiff." The way she says it makes me bite my lip, reminds those times when Eric teased me years ago. Well, I was Stiff, part of me still were. "Bit sore, I must admit, not used to run so long runs you know." I answer and she smiles. "I'm sorry I couldn't come last night, I ment to come and give you a thorough message, you would have deserved it." Her voice and her eyes are filled with promise. I pull her close, rise her chin up and kiss her quickly. "You won, you finished ahead of me with great marginal so it would have been you who deserved the price."

Kiara shifts weight from one leg to a other. "Auntie, are we going to get those cotton candies soon as you promised?" Alexa looks down to her and smiles "soon Kiara, one thing first. Do you remember what we made this morning before we got here?" She takes a bright red bottle from her backpack and hands it to me. "Here's something I make for recovery, a smoothie holding all vitamins and everything else your body is craving." When I get a grip of that bottle, raising my eyebrow. "I'm quite sure that it doesn't hold everything my body needs, what I want." I answer emphasizing the last words and she blushes a bit. She looks around quickly and shows the bottles bottom, twists it a little. I nod, she has hidden something in there obviously, just when Kiara shouts "Your daddy is looking for you auntie!"

Indeed James Mathews is walking to our direction, nods to me briefly but scolding Alexa. "Here you are, I tried to call but you didn't answer. Car is waiting, you have one minute before we leave." He continues his walk pass us, greets some his friends much friendlier and proceeds to them, shaking hands and patting shoulders. I expect Kiara to protest but she just sighs."Okay, I know, next time. Are we now going to see my parents?" There is pain in Alexa's eyes but she manages to smile." We are going to a car ride with my father now." she just answers.

"You are leaving so soon?" I ask and she sighs "yes, father has some meeting early tomorrow and we must leave now." she looks away. What is there to say? "I hope I will see you, lets keep in touch." That is all I can say, feeling sad, disappointed. This time her smile is genuine, reaching her eyes, making them sparkle. "We will meet, sooner or later. Just... Promise to me that you trust no one. Protect your back. I just wish we had more time, there's so much I need to tell to you." I'm just about to ask what she means when James shouts "Erica, Now!"

"I'm so sorry" she whispers, sadness in her eyes. She tiptoes and quickly kisses me then takes Kiara's hand and they run. When they are getting in car Alexa looks to me and waves a little. I don't wave back, just nod. James looks to me too, grim look in his face. I nod to him too and he smirks quickly, same arrogant smirk that I remember Eric had.

I didn't expect this, her leaving so soon. Her words echo in my mind. I walk back to picnic tables and see Amar chatting with Cara and Caleb deep in his thoughts, looking down in his crossed hands. I join to the conversation and in twenty minutes we are all gathered together and music starts. We buy some food and share it all, pizza and sangria mostly. We all laugh, carefree for a moment. When I look their familiar faces I realize how lucky I have been all these years, having all these friends, including Caleb and Cara. Alexa's warning not to trust seems absurd, these are my friends, we go way back.

My mother arrives too, she had visited some bakery obviously and has two cakes we share for a dessert. It's warm, nice weather and the park is filled with happy, relaxed people. I just wish Alexa could be here too. I had placed the bottle she gave to me next to tables leg and I forget it there until we leave. Concert takes bit over two hours and when it ends we have a bit over a hour to get to train. I take my bottle, toss it to one hand to another, hearing light clicking sound from the bottom, like something is moving around there. Of course Amar asks "What's in there?" and nods towards the bottle. "Some recovery drink I almost forgot." I just answer and he looks surprised. "Didn't know you use those." he answers and shrugs.

When I get to my apartment I pour the drink to kitchen sink, it looks something really nasty mix of green, brown and grey, not appetizing. It doesn't smell bad thou. I rinse the sink and the bottle, then open the bottom. There is just a necklace with an oddly shaped pendant. There's no time to investigate it further but it must be important. I place it to my pocket, same pocket where I hold all memory cards and Johanna's notebook. I wonder why Alexa wanted to give that in secret to me.

Train is already in station, Andrew standing and waving to us. "This way to Chicago!" he shouts and people turn to watch him. Hard to ignore him. I tap his shoulder when I pass him. The cart has leather seats, paired 2 and 2, table between. Shauna and Christina are giggling, they have a lots of bags with them. "You have done some shopping, I see" I nod to the bags and they giggle a lot more. "Yes, yesterday and something this morning. You know, there is big sales this week in shops and it's not just you we wanted to see. Shauna was looking something nice to wear for her..." Christina starts to explain but Shauna shuts her with sharp look "I needed new clothes, that's all, miss big mouth who was the one that bought that pink corset and matching undies?" Christina just laughs, doesn't even blush and after a while Shauna joins in her laughter. They are having a good time but I shake my head, I don't want even imagine Christina in pink... oh crap! I continue my walk, seeking for a free place and find one next to Cara and Caleb. "Do you mind?" I ask and they both hurry to say that they were saving that seat for me. I doubt it but I sit down.

During our ride I had some discussions with Caleb, we made plans for tomorrow. Nothing special and revealing, we cannot be sure who hears us but just schedule some timetable. We are going to have the meeting in the Bureau at 10 Am. Caleb has some papers with him, he has done some research obviously and he's ready to testify against them, if needed. So is Cara. He lets me read his papers, nothing new in there. We are going to take them down, that's sure. I can see Amar and my mother talking, some of us are sleeping, including Andrew and his girlfriend. When Caleb and Cara excuses themselves and go to have some late night snack I check my phone; no calls, no messages. I sigh. I just wished that she had sent a message but nothing. Maybe she's still in her way, in middle of nowhere, no time for messages. I wonder where she was going in such a hurry.

It takes up until the midnight for us to get to Chicago, long way to home. In my apartment everything is in their places, mother has taken good care this place. I just take a short shower, stretch a bit and go to bed, fiddling the necklace and pendant, wondering. I look again inside to bottle, if there is a note I missed but nothing. Haven't seen anything like that before, I cannot even tell for sure what material it's made of.

At morning I check my phone again, no new messages, no calls. I shave my beard and look myself hard in mirror. _Get a grip of yourself!_ I say to myself and put on my business clothes. Looking back to mirror I look so serious, all business. I look like Tobias Eaton, not like Four. I feel little nervous, it's the day like no day before. I want to make it clear to the Bureau, I want them to acknowledge my rights to my daughters and I want to end their business. They cannot continue their ways that don't hold daylight.

I take a taxi and we pick Caleb in way, Cara isn't coming today. Ride to Bureau is silent, we are both looking out, not wanting to be the first to speak out. It seems that nothing has changed in here. Just when we are arriving to the Bureau my phone beeps, Johanna sends me a message. _"Meet me at 1pm at my home"_ she texts, not asking, just telling what to do. Just like she always does. _"Ok, on my way to meeting now, might be little late but I come as soon as possible."_ When I look up we have arrived to the Bureau and Caleb pays to the driver. I look around, haven't really been here since... well since Trish died and somehow it's like I'm trying to find her. Caleb opens door and looks to me when I pass him. "I know, first years when I got back here I was always looking for her, just wishing I could see her, that she would somehow come down those stairs or something." I don't answer anything, it's bit annoying that he knows that well what I'm thinking. Caleb walks to the reception desk and I follow him, trying to look confident. There's a young girls sitting behind the desk, tapping computer when we get closer. She raises her eyes and looks to us, smiles a polite smile "Welcome to the Bureau of Genetic Welfare".

"Hi! ! We have an appointment with your CEO at 10am. Names are Prior and Eaton." Caleb says and girl looks from her computer before nodding. Little later on she hands visitor passes. "Head straight down that corridor to the elevators on the left. He's waiting for you at the top floor." I don't like it, I'm not fan of elevators and places that are high above the ground but this is the price I have to pay. In the elevator I keep looking small birthmark in Caleb's neck, concentrating in that, focusing in my breathing, keeping it calm and steady. Staying cool and collected. When we get to the top floor there's Matthew's assistant waiting for us. "Isn't it a lovely day!" He says but clearly isn't waiting any answer from us.

He leads us to Matthew's office door and knocks briefly to the door. "Enter!" says someone and he opens the door, letting us in. But it isn't Matthew that's waiting for us, it's James Matthews. I look to Caleb, he doesn't look surprised at all. "Where's Matthew?" I must ask and James shrugs. "I don't know and honestly I don't care. We had a meeting on last Friday and after that his services were no longer needed." I look to Caleb and he looks back. "Then who is the CEO?" I ask and James just glares me briefly before walking to large desk and sitting to the chair. "Obviously me until the board gets together and votes. You see, I have been the main financier so when Mathew was fired it was obvious that I shall take his place up until the voting. But I can't keep this place when, or should I be modest and say if, I get elected to the Government, you know the rules don't you mr Eaton." I nod.

I wasn't expecting this but when I look to Caleb he seem so cool and collected so he knew this before. I just wonder why didn't he warn me? "But now we are here and you should know that we asked this meeting because we need to know about the Bureaus work, including their surrogacy program. There is some really nasty rumors going around and evidence supporting those rumors. " I can see how James grits his teeth together before he answers. "I know that, I have heard those rumors too but I can assure you that they are just rumors, ill talk trying to harm Bureaus hard work. I don't know answers to all your question and therefore I have asked some computer time for you two. You can go through our files and you will have full access to every bit of information that they hold. If you come this way..." he stands up and leads us to another room. "But I have to warn you, Bureaus archives are... Hard to read to any who isn't used to read genetic codes in the way the write are used to be written." James looks to me "lucky for you that you have brought an expert."

Just when we enter in the room I hear footsteps from behind.


	49. sometimes later

**Sometimes later**

Just when I hear footsteps from behind, lights flick out and darkness surrounds us, overwhelming our senses. I don't have time to realize what happened, I just started to turn around. From the corner of my eyes I can see to door that we just used and there is a dark figure, raising hand. I'm not sure if it's male or female, it's just dark figure against the light. Someone shouts, I think it's James Matthews. "NO!" is only word I can make out, other shouts blends in another ones, darkness is full of angry yelling, voices like thunder and then lightning strikes. It hits me, to my shoulder, then again just inches away from my elbow and third time to my hip. I feel rain come pouring down, it drenches me with something warm, smelling like Iron, dripping down my hand, soaking my clothes. It doesn't hurt, nothing hurts at the beginning and then it dawns to me. Someone just shot me.

With this realization pain follows, red hot scorching pain, running through my nerves, making my knees weak, making me fall hard to the floor. More lightning sounds, this time it doesn't hit me, it hits some one else. I try to turn for the last time, to see who is behind of this, try to make out who is that dark shadow against the light but all I can see is a escaping figure. From the distance I hear some voices, more steps, more shots. Darkness surrounds me, pain throbbing in my hand, in my hip. Then lights flick back on for a moment, I can see that we all are shot, we are lying on the floor, all three of us. Who shot us? Lights flick out again, pain remains. Floor is cold but somehow really comfortable. _This cannot end here, not like this_ is my thought and I hear more running steps, more shouting but darkness turns soft, soothing one. I float in middle of it, in peace. I don't weight anything, I'm free.

Running steps from somewhere, these sound different. Someone shouting my name, repeatedly. In the darkness I try to answer but there's no sound, just pain, burning, More shouting, more steps, shouting. Someone slaps my face, not a gently slap and I try to open my eyes. "This one is still alive!" he shouts and I fall back in soft nothingness.

I come back to my senses after a while, I don't know how long it took. I'm in soft, comfortable bed, lying on my back, my left side supported with some weird system. Soft voices, alerted ones. "Don't you dare to give up, you have to fight." A female voice, I don't know who she is but she has soft, warm hands, light touch to my cheek. Beeping, constant beeping. Hands touching me, cold hands, turning me around, lifting me, changing my position, causing pain, Coldness creeps inside, settles in my bones, make me shiver. "You have fever, I give you some medicine." I try to open my eyes and manage to see just a glimpse of something white before darkness surrounds me again.

Pain comes back, making me restless. "He's having pain again, give more medicine!" someone orders and I try to open my eyes, just to see what is going on. Someone touches my hand, in red hot pain that touch is cool. I can feel her pouring some cool liquid in my veins, running with my blood, getting speed from my fast beating heart, turning burning flames down, easing the pain.

I fall back, like in Simulation. "Choose" says someone and I can see that there is a knife and a slice of cheese on top of small table. I don't move, just turn around to see who said that. I see Trish. "Choose" she says with small smile. "What do I choose?" I ask and she smiles again. "You know, it was never an option to really choose what we wanted to be, who we are. From the beginning it was the Bureau, screening us, trying to find the right combination to get GPS. We didn't choose Factions, the Bureau choose them for us, just to control, separate us and rule us, just like what we red in history books, if you remember. And trust me, they controlled everything, matchmaking and all, who are in same class, who are our neighbors, who we grow up with. Just to get the GPs" She vanishes in clear air suddenly and voice from behind whispers "choose". This time it's a male voice and some one taps to my injured shoulder. I wince, pain rushes down my hand and I turn to see who that man is. My father stands there.

I just look to him and he shrugs. When I look down I can see that he's holding a dog leash in one hand, all coiled up and warm jacket in other. He hands them to me. When I don't move. when I don't choose he shakes his head and laughs. "You know, I never would have chosen your mother for my wife, they choose her to me. I knew that she didn't love me, she was in love with someone else and even after when we were married she had an affair with that another man." He pauses for a while, looks me with those same eyes that I remember from my childhood. He looks like he used back then and I can see now certain sadness in his eyes, remorse. He coughs and continues "You know... I was never sure about you when you were born, were you my son or... was your father someone else" I shake my head, my mother wouldn't have done anything like that. He smiles a half smile. "I was too proud to ask, too proud to put her against the wall and really to find out, I knew that she worked for them, she was in the system, not just like...like most of people was. She knew things that was never told, you know. And..." He was about to say something but I raise my hand, stop him in middle of sentence. "The coat, I choose the coat." I say, harshness in my voice, harshness that I never knew that I had.

My father hands that warm jacket to me. "I'm sorry, it's all past now and I know that you are my son, you have my genes, the Bureau has detailed charts of every one of us as you know. These no reason for any suspects. I'm sorry I kept my distance during your childhood, we weren't allowed to show our feelings openly and it was easier in that way. I wasn't a good role model, I just wish..." he drops the dog leash "I just hope that you can be better father to your children than I ever was to you. But I want you to know that deep inside I was so proud of what kind of man you grew up."

I take the jacket, wear it and it's so cozy, so warm. Heavy. I walk on streets of my hometown, see places that are long gone. I see my past friends, my past enemies, people that I used to know. Jacket gets warmer and warmer. ... _squeeze my hand if you can hear this, just little squeeze please. I love you, fight, you must fight, don't give up, your children need you, all of them..._ I turn, look around but I see no one near me. My hands are in my pockets and I squeeze, just a little bit. ... _I felt that, you CAN hear me!_ same soft murmuring female voice than before.

It's so hot in here, I try to take the jacket off but my efforts just cause pain in my hand, it really hurts! . _.. have you heard the news? They found out who the shooter was and they found... yes... an old employee.. two dead... large police operation... it's part of that lawsuit that they keep on talking in news..._ Two female voices, gossiping as it seems. I don't recognize them, never heard before as far as I know. I try to raise my head, I need something to drink, I'm really thirsty and I need some help with this jacket, but my head is so heavy and I can't open my eyes, Who are talking? Someone with cold hands touch my templates. "Temperature is back normal, we can take this extra blanket off now I think. Just keep an eye for his saturation and blood pressure, you are doing good work." Male voice interrupts female voices. Some weight is lifted from me and almost instantly I feel better, not so hot anymore.

Beeping continues but it's dark, no lights. Something squeezes my legs, releases, squeezes again. Something tight is around my right arm, squeezing, holding my hand still. I open my eyes, look around. I can see that I'm in hospital, room is white. There is lots of monitors, changing data in all of them, measurement data. My name in one of them, spelled wrong, as I see. It doesn't matter. Someone dressed in dark blue clothing approaches, smiles. "Oh, you are awake! Good! I go to call to doctor!" I try to speak but she is gone before I can say anything. It takes ages before she comes back with an older man that wears white coat. "I'm doctor Hermanez, I can see that you are awake now so let's remove this tube from your throat. Caught on the count of three. One...two...three." I cough and it's so unpleasant, breathing tube comes off. "Just don't try to speak now, your vocal cords are swollen and it takes some time for them to heal. And no drinks before that too, I don't want you to drown. Just blink twice if you understand." I blink twice as he said and he nods, looking pleased.

"From now on, one blink is no and two blinks are yes, do you understand." I blink twice. "Are you in pain now?" I blink once. "Do you know what happened?" I blink once, hesitate, blink again. I know and don't know. "You were shot, three times and you have been taken to hospital in last moment, it was really close one. We almost lost you. But now it seems that all is going well, your infection is almost healed and the damage that bullets did has been taken care of. Your hand was worse, there is now some titanium plates in there and they are permanent I'm afraid." He pauses and I blink twice, to make sure for him that I understood. There is so many questions I want to ask, so many words I want to say. "Nurse Johnsson will take care of you now, I have other patients to take care I'm afraid but I come tomorrow to see you again." Nurse smiles to me. "I'm Laura and I'm your nurse tonight." she says and looks to my lips "You must be thirsty, I can give you a little bit of something cold to drink but you must remember doctors orders, no much I'm afraid." I blink to her twice and she smiles.

It's just water but it has never tasted this good. I sigh a bit, close my eyes. Everything is going to be just fine I think. I drift in sleep, smiling.

It's afternoon when I wake up. I'm lying in same bed, on right side, supported with pillows. Some nurse, not the one at the night, Laura as I remember, is standing next to my bed, writing something down in the pad that she's holding. She looks up to me, smiles a bit and looks to someone behind of me. "You can come to this side, he's awaken now." she says and I can hear chair pushed back, making screeching noise against the floor. Then some steps, high heeled shoes as it sounds. I close my eyes, swallow. When I open them I can see her, sitting down next to my bed.

Cara, looking older than I remember, tired, like she has been crying. "He cannot speak now, swelling in his vocal cords, but you can talk to him." nurse says and leaves us.


End file.
